#sanders sides virgil

Patton:Hey, Virge, wanna third wheel on my date with Logan?

Virgil:…I guess.

Patton:Ro! Wanna third wheel on my date with Logan?

Roman:Of course!

Patton: Great! I’ve always wanted to double date!

Roman:Wait…

Virgil: I can’t breathe.

Logan: Okay, let’s stop using the term “Butthurt.” We’re not twelve anymore.

Roman: You sound fannytroubled.

Patton:A little bootybothered if you ask me.

Virgil:Someone’s having a tushytantrum.

Virgil: Go crawl in a ditch and die.

Roman: I hope you get hit by a bus.

Patton: *walks into the room*

Roman: Aren’t we the bestest of friends?

Virgil: The best!

Patton: *smiles and walks out*

Virgil: I’m going to push you off a cliff.

Roman: Not if I push you off first.

Patton:Sometimes Virgil mumbles in his sleep… it’s adorable!

Virgil, asleep in Patton’s lap: Fight me…I dare you………I have a knife, bitch……..that’s..what I thought..hmmm.

Patton: He’s so precious…

Roman: Why are you like this?

Virgil: I used too much No More Tears Shampoo when I was a kid and I haven’t felt a single emotion since.

Roman: Bitch.

Virgil: Blocked.

Roman: Wait, no, unblock me - I have something important to tell you.

Virgil: Unblocked.

Roman: Bitch.

Virgil: I will never trust Deceit. He’s a venomous snake, waiting to strike… and you know what we do to snakes?

Logan, without looking up: Chop their heads off, remove the skin and turn them into boots.

Virgil: Don’t be absurd. Who would want troll-skin boots?

Logan: You just said he was a snake.

Virgil: The Devil comes in many forms.

Patton: Why is there blood everywhere?!?!?!?!?!?

Virgil: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife

Patton: YOU STABBED SOMEONE?!?!?!?!?!??

Virgil: No no NO, aggressively poked them with a knife

Virgil: I’m gonna play a song I’ve been working on. It’s called ‘My experience as Anxiety so far.’

Virgil: (Inhales)

Virgil: (Plays a single chord)

Virgil: (Screams)

Virgil: I can’t do sports but I can make TV show references like a boss.

Thomas: If you took a shot every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Logan: Maybe a bit tipsy?

Patton: Drunk.

Virgil: Wasted.

Roman: Dead.

Roman: Alright, so you and I are married.

Virgil: I don’t want to be married.

Roman: Relax, it’s just pretend.

Virgil: I don’t wanna pretend.

Roman: Scared you’ll like it?

Virgil: Alright, if we’re married, I want a divorce.

Thomas: Are you two always like this?

Logan: Yes, they are.

Logan: Studies show that keeping a ladder inside a house is more dangerous than a loaded gun.

Virgil: That’s why I own ten guns.

Virgil: In case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder.

Thomas: The fact that I’m a legal adult is hysterical.

Patton: *Sighs*

Virgil: Patton, are you Okay?

Virgil: You just walked past a cat without petting it.

Roman: I like your pants.

Logan: Thanks. They were 50% off.

Roman: I’d like them 100% off.

Logan: The store can’t just sell free stuff.

Roman: That’s not really what I-

Logan: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Roman.

Remus: I can’t believe you and Virgil broke the bed! Must have been a crazy night!

Roman: Haha, yeah…

*last night*

Roman: Bet you can’t jump high enough to touch the ceiling.

Virgil: Try me.

Patton: Just be yourself!

Roman: Be myself? Patton, I have one day to win them over. How long did it take for you guys to like me?

Logan: A couple of weeks.

Virgil: Six months.

Janus: Jury’s still out.

Roman: See? “Be yourself.” What kind of garbage advice is that?

Virgil: So here’s the tea-

Logan: It’s called a briefing.

Virgil: Do you want the tea or not?

Patton: Virgil, it’s time to get up!

Virgil: I’m not sleeping, I’m dead. Leave flowers then get out.

Virgil: Do you have the time?

Patton:For you? Are you joking? I would always make time for you. My time is precious but you are more. Virgil, you… are a shining star in the sea of darkness. I would do anything for you.

Virgil: No, like… what time is it?

Virgil: But thank you.

Janus:I’m a moderate, peaceful and godly man, truth be told.

Virgil: Just yesterday you threw a chair at Remus.

Janus:Yes, which was a moderate, peaceful and godly compromise from the table I was initially planning on launching at that bastard.

Virgil: What the fuck?

Patton: Virgil, language!

Virgil: What the eff?

Patton: Try again.

Virgil: What the sexual intercourse?

Roman: Hey, Lo. Did you know that thot means ‘thoughtful person’?

Logan: I have never heard of that specific slang, no.

*later*

Logan: Thanks for keeping me company, Virgil. You’re such a thot.

Virgil, wheezing: I’m a WHAT?

Thomas: If you were to die, what would your last words be?

Virgil: “Finally.”

Thomas:

Thomas: No-

Virgil: People who say “Go big or go home” seriously underestimate my willingness to go home. It’s literally my only goal for most of the day.

Broke: The new sanders side will be Orange

Woke: there are TWO unknown sanders sides, OrangeandPINK

Roman: what angsty part of Thomas did you crawl out of

Virgil: The angstiest you Disney prince ripoff