For Strawberry Kitty (2004-2022)

Goodbye, old friend
Your peaceful breath slows,
Your eyes gaze upon your world
I offer to you
My strength

Goodbye old friend
My hand reaches forth,
Striving for divinity
I offer to you
My love

Goodbye old friend
At the steps of your kingdom,
We become one
I offer to you
My life

- Lyrics by Bear McCreary in Babylonian, the oldest language humanity has been able to reconstruct

Strawberry Kitty passed away this evening, at age 17 and after a brief illness. He went very gently and peacefully in my arms, with Hubs at his side too, and he purred a little as he went to sleep for the last time and we told him that we loved him.

Goodnight, little moon. I will love you all the days of my life.

Night-night. Love you mommy.

Nico passed away peacefully in his sleep later that day, about 10:20pm, September 24th, 2021, aged about 9.5, exactly 2 weeks shy of the day we found each other at the pet store 9 years ago.

Sad news today…last week, after a sudden prolonged seizure, our anxious bean Phichit passed away unexpectedly. The vets said there was nothing to be done, so we held him as long as possible in a warm towel and made him as comfortable as we could until he passed. Nico is managing, confused, but managing, so we’ll be okay, it’s just very sad in our house right now.

We’ll miss you, special little beeb, you overcame so much and we all loved you lots.

TW: pet death. I lost my two favorite birds. I grieve every day when I get home and I’m not greeted with their little faces running to the car. Birds are fragile, and I have learned this the hardest way.

——

February 7th we lost Daisy to a bald eagle who made the ponds it’s home for the past month without any incident. I got home minutes too late and saw the aftermath.

February 17th, Blossom was found under the nesting boxes. She had no signs of illness the day before and didn’t have any trauma. I still have no idea what happened.

Blossom was the chick that I chose to make age progress pictures of. She was always the first to run to me any chance she got and she would sit in the kitchen with me while I did dishes or cooked. When they went outside in the coop she was the last one to acclimate and it broke my heart not being able to let her stay indoors with me.

Daisy was the only girl pekin. With her pale pink bill from day 1, her name stuck. She led the 2 boys around and always made sure she was first in line for treats. The boys seem lost without her. They hadn’t slept inside their baby coop for months, until Daisy passed. Now they stay close to home and quietly call for her still.

Trigger warning ⚠️ death, death of pet, loss, gore ⚠️

TLDR; my cat died. I found her body. I cleaned up the blood. It hurts to think about— a lot. But I can’t talk to any one about it.

So three years ago today is a really difficult day for me and yet I feel almost numb. Three years ago today my wife (at the time fiancé) was really sick. In and out of hospitals and had actually just started living with her mom who has a masters in nursing because I couldn’t take care of her well enough myself, work full time, take care of the cats & take care of myself too. It was all too much.

So she went to go live with her mom.

Our cat Bella was sick too. We’d taken her to the Vet ER 5 or more times, she needed oxygen, multiple X-rays, medicines, IVs etc all very expensive. We spent thousands of dollars on her. I racked up thousands of dollars of debt because of it.

One night I went to see my fiancé, drove 3 hours to see her and spent a few days with her. I drove 3 hours back home. Usually the cats would be waiting at the door for me when I’d open it but that night I came home and only one of our cats greeted me and it hit me immediately, I fucking knew it in my gut. So I rounded the corner and there laid our cat Bella. Blood on her mouth. Blood on the carpet. Shit on the carpet too. I’d never dealt with something like this before. I called my fiancé and I blurted out the horrible news and she scream cried, I heard her sobbing and it broke my heart even more not being able to be there for her to help her. The next think I know her mom is on the phone with me asking me what had happened and I told her and she told me to take her body to the Vet ER and they’ll cremate her for us. I hung up. I picked up her body. Mostly stiff, some warmth still in her stomach so I think she’d only been there a few hours. She died on my way back to her. I laid her on a towel and covered her. Our other cat knew something was wrong she just stared at me the whole time. She tried to comfort me a little but I had no time for that. I had to clean up the blood and stuff. I scrubbed the carpet and I remember the soapy blood mixture clouding the cup I used. I took her to the ER they took her from me and took care of everything from there on out. My heart was shattered and it was agreed upon by my soon to be mother in law and I that I should come up immediately after. Bring our other cat and come back up. So I did. I packed a bunch of stuff because being in that apartment was just too hard, I packed up our other cat and drove 3 hours back to my fiancé. After hours of crying and talking we fell asleep on the floor together just holding each other. I never talk about that night. I don’t want to upset my wife going into detail about it but I think about how I found her a lot and it hurts me so much and I’ve just sat with this hurt for years because I don’t want to hurt her the way I’m hurting. Guys I miss my cat so fucking much. I can’t get the way I found her out of my head to this day and it breaks my heart. She deserved so much better and fuck those vets who said she was fine. Fuck the vets who didn’t do tests. Who said it was asthma. Who didn’t take it seriously. Fuck the vets who took my money but did NOTHING for my dying cat. We should’ve been told there was nothing else to do. We should’ve had the right information so we could’ve put her down PEACEFULLY. She shouldn’t of choked on her own blood as polyps burst in her lungs. I wish them all the worst. They didn’t care about her they cared about the money so I fucking hope they rot. She deserved better and they didn’t give us the opportunity to give her the best way out. I’m so angry and sad and I don’t know what else to do anymore other then to throw this out here into the void where I know no one will fucking read this. I just don’t know anymore guys. I’m just so fucking sad and angry. She deserved better. She deserved better. She shouldn’t have died that way. She deserved better.

04.15.21

Last night I had to take Munchkin in to the emergency vet because her congestive heart failure and partially collapsed lung became too much for her to handle and she was ultimately put to sleep before she suffered any more trauma. I am so upset that I didn’t catch her illness sooner, even though I know heart failure isn’t one of the rat sicknesses I’d be able to treat to full health.

I’ve had munchkin and her litter mate, TinTin since they were just 5 weeks old and I feel so sorry for Tin having lost her sister and all 5 if the rats she’s known since her first day with me. Thankfully she still has Arwen and I’m slowly working on getting her to interact with Marceline and Bonnabel in a more friendly way.

I have now lost 4 rats in 4 weeks and I’m feeling so numb and defeated but I love the 4 girls I have left and I want to give them the best rest of their lives I can provide ♥️♥️♥️

More bad news

Last night I noticed that Maple seemed very weak and wouldn’t even try to eat unless it was syringe fed to her. This morning my mom checked on her while I was at work to find she had passed in her sleep.

When I got home I discovered that Maple’s teeth were severely overgrown to the point that eating solids was near impossible for her. She was so old that even if we had caught this earlier, she more than likely wouldn’t have survived any medical intervention and once we had switched her to a baby food only diet, it helped but not enough to save her. I think she was just so malnourished from her dental issues that her body just gave out after fighting for so long.

I only had Maple for 2 weeks but she came to me when I needed a sweet friend most and she was exactly that. I truly cherish the time we got to share and all the loving messages I received from people about her ❤️ ❤️

I will be working to spend more and more time with the remaining pair of girls I got when I adopted Maple and hopefully I will be able to combine my two groups of girls for one big rat family. I am very grateful that even though Maple was old and didn’t always want to play, big momma Bonnie was always there to pull her into the nest and groom Maple (since she would never groom herself) ♥️ these rats are too pure for this world

More terrible rat updates

So it’s been less than a week since I lost Winnie and I’m still so heartbroken, but I have been forced to shift my focus over to Emily. I don’t talk about her much anymore because she’s over 2 and really she just kinda hangs out and has never been all that wild so there’s not usually a ton to mention about her.

In mid September I noticed she was starting to get some lumps insider her hind legs, but given she’s over 2 years old I just didn’t think too much of it. In the almost two months since I first saw the tiny tumors, two have grown so large that they take up basically her entire lower half and she’s got one popping up on her front arm. My vet told me that because of her age and their progression that surgery wasn’t really an option because they’d just come back and we don’t know if she would be able to survive that much body mass removal at once. Basically she’s on pain meds and I check the lumps daily to see if the skin is becoming necrotic because at that point we will have to let her go.

In the 3 weeks since she saw the vet her tumors have expanded and I’m guessing she has maybe 1-2 weeks left before her tumors split open. I’ve already lost 3 rats in as many months and I really was not ready to lose my sweet Emily either. I’ve had her since she was a baby and I’m so lucky to say I’ve had her for over 2 years, I’m not ready to see her go just yet but I know her time is coming.

I’m in the process of deciding whether I want to just let my other 3 rats live on and just take a break one they’re gone or if I want to adopt some more. This intense heartbreak of losing my rats, especially losing 3 heart rats in a year, is taking such a toll and I am so lost as to what I should be doing.

A horrible update on Eowyn

I never wanted to make this post, but Winnie developed a severe hematoma overnight that resulted in 2 trips to the emergency vet today, once for a surgery. Shortly after she was released she went into respiratory distress and at our third trip to the vet today I had to make the impossible choice to let her go. She fought the medication for longer than I’ve ever seen a rat fight and she was the toughest ratty I’ve ever met. Winnie was the Mayor of Dumbassville and was an incredible friend. The beginning of her life truly had not set her up to be the best friend she became and I am so blessed to have known her for these past 11 months. I am going to miss her forever

my mind saw this behind the scenes redemption post and made it. very sad. and i think unleashing it would be generally unhealthy for us all

but suffice to say that parker, trying to helpful, thinks that finding a successor to meg would cheer hardison up and hardison is NOT taking it well

Awh! Thank you <3 and YES Omgosh- they’re so cute :’) Sometimes I go in and cuddle them and they yell at me but it’s okay they don’t know it only goes downhill from here re: being cuddled by me constantly

And I work in end of life care for pets - It’s a sad job, but I love helping people through these difficult times. It’s nice in a weird way to be able to take that load off of pet owners trying to balance end of life for their pets :’( . I get to hear so many fantastic and beautiful stories of love and caring and devotion though and it just makes it all worth it <3

(tw; pet’s death)

my cat had died yesterday, due to some problems with her kidney and stuff (plus her teeth or gum was pretty sensitive resulting in her having to eat certain cat food that’s suitable for her) i mean… She’s a pretty old girl who’s very strong and fought this condition for so long and I’ve been knowing about the chances of her passing was STUPID HIGH, so honestly i would be surprised that she lived but she didn’t and i was prepared for the day that she’ll die, honestly her and my old cat Mi was like the one that i turned to for emotional support when i don’t have friends or people who i felt comfortable with expressing myself a lot like how i am nowadays but of course not everything would last forever but im alright, i will forever remember when i declined the offer to see her for the last time when i could’ve and will regret that shit.

What is it with young children on youtube and commenting about the time their pet died on cute videos of the same animal???

My sweet, sweet Pirate Princess Willow passed away very peacefully today at home, with her head in my hand. I’m so grateful I was able to give her this final gift after all the love and affection she’d given to me over the 17 and a half years she was in my life.

She will be missed more than I can put into words. I don’t believe in any sort of afterlife for myself, but I like to imagine a kitty heaven where she’s back with her sister Cordelia, with Annie and Miss Kitty judging harshly from not-too-afar.

I’m preparing to say goodbye to my beautiful, sweet pirate princess. She’s declined rapidly over the last few days, so I feel it’s time to make the hardest decision to let her go. I’ve contacted a mobile vet so she can pass at home.

My heart is torn to shreds. I’ve just been laying with her and telling her how much I love her and that she’s the best girl and far too good for this world.

Hello.

I’m trying my best to poke my head back into civilisation after my rather sudden and explosive exit. Everything was just horrible in my life at that time. Among all the personal stuff, my cat that I had mentioned passed away, I’ve just been spiraling, becoming really mentally unwell and what happened here was the last straw and I just had enough.

I’m still scared about being here so my presence on both this blog and on @thatkidwholikesthunderbirds will likely be really inconsistent, I also can’t guarantee that there will be any Thunderbirds content. Also if I don’t respond to messages or anything else right away then I can only apologise.

So yeah that’s it. I’m sorry and I hope you’re all having a good day.

I posted this on twitter already so I’ll just quote myself from there.

I have some sad bunny news. Unfortunately we lost Bugsie today. Something in me was prepared for this because he wasn’t getting better. I’m sad but happy he’s no longer suffering and in pain.

Those of us who knew him, know he lived a long life full of love and happiness. In recent weeks he was a very ill bunny and was on daily meds from his vet. We don’t know exactly what he passed away from but we know he’s no longer suffering with whatever it was.

RIP Bugsie, June 2015 - Feb 2022

Wedge died yesterday. He got sick and it happened really fast. I was with him, just me and him in the exam room at the vet. He was only two. He was supposed to be fine. But he was unconscious and breathing too hard so I sat by his head and rubbed it the way he liked best and sang him the lullaby that always helped him sleep and when I was done, he stopped breathing, slow and careful and then he was gone. I told him he was the best boy and that we loved him and Locksley loved him and we’d always love him and now he’s gone.

Gonna miss u morch..