#tw psychiatry
to anyone who has ever been in a psychiatry or something similar or knows anything abt them: regarding suicidal thoughts and attempts, how “bad” does it have to be to be put in one? what things that i say might make it more likely to get a recommendation by my therapist or get sent to one? (i am not against going, i think i do need help, id just like to know if my situation potentially could be “bad enough” for me to land in one and assess the risk) thank u!!
TW/CW Suicidal ideation
My psychiatrist: What things are you looking forward to that help combat your suicidal thoughts?
Me:
Psych: … Anything else?
Me: Not really. I know some people think it’s silly to care so much about them, but I figure if it keeps me around for one more day, that’s what matters.
Psych: That’s right. And I look forward to new shows, too. I’m glad you have that.
Me:
One of us realized yesterday that we’ve been out of our anti-depressants for days and none of us knew it or remembered to refill it. It explains why we had an emotional breakdown a few days ago, why we came as close as we did to suicide, why we felt like self-harming for the first time in years, and why everything has been so hard in general. Now Alan refuses to leave front until we get back on our meds because of how bad it’s gotten. Its scary to see him on alert like this.
I hate having to go to pharmacies i hate having to go see a counselor i hate knowing my freedom could be taken away at any time for wrongthink (i.e. for suicidal thoughts/behaviors) and that i feel so fucking isolated in my troubles. I fucking hate sanism and the impossible goals abled people put on disabled people.
I was gonna try to put a positive spin on this, but fuck that. I cant even get my& fuckin meds until monday because my psychiatrist is out and my alternatives for getting an emergency supply are going on an endless game of phone tag with my pharmacist and my clinic’s after hours’ line or voluntarily admitting myself into a mental hospital that’s known for it’s cases of sexual abuse against patients.
Fuck all of that. Fuck the USA and fuck the psychiatric industrial complex.
Blurry (⭐Hailey? & Alan? & ??????)
