#twst shitpost

LIVE

malleypoo:

Malleus if he ever came to our world and found an ice cream truck:

Look I need to bring to everyone’s attention that crowley has no fucking clue how to get MC back to their own world,

There are zero percent chances we are returning to our world-

So we come to the big question: Does the logistics of Twisted Wonderland apply to MC, a being of Earth?

MC will most likely be stuck in this dimension for the rest of their life since Crowley is unaware of how they arrived, and presumably will be unable to reverse-engineer MC’s arrival to NRC via gate.

Will MC die a natural death? Or will their soul crumble to bits and pieces, as their body slowly recognizes that it does not reside on the soil from which it arose?

Will MC live forever, rejected by the timeline?

Can they absorb magic from hanging around magic users and objects? If so, is MC capable of over blotting? What would it look like, for a normal human not associated with any of the Great Seven, to experience an overflow of negative magic? Or would it just look like a mood swing:

All I know, is that MC either attends school for free, forever, or they live SOMEWHERE unlisted in Twisted Wonderland once they’ve graduated from NRC-

Crowley I love you but you’re harboring an alien and sending them to school without informing the authorities

How is this not a bigger concern? INTER-DIMENSIONAL TRAVEL BETWEEN TW AND AN UNKNOWN LOCATION JUST TOOK PLACE???

The NRC students should be bringing you offerings for your service in keeping Rook away from them

(I need a shorter title) part 3 part 2part 1

gender neutral reader

warnings: this is not that serious, crack

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  • romantic

The wind is blowing softly against your skin. The sky is clear, as are your intentions of coaxing your dear, sweet boyfriend out of his hiding.

And as you press the record button on your phone, you begin:

“Day 3 of convincing my boyfriend to come out of the foliage.” a small smile graces your features as you fidget slightly with your bracelet.

What ever shall you do today, that will make your plan succeed?

A sigh leaves your lips as you lower your head slightly-

WHOOSH

An arrow flies past you, entering the trunk of the tree next to you. A piece of paper attached to it.

You take hold of the fragile piece and begin reading it. ‘What is it that saddens you so, mon ange?’ Awww, how considerate! You only looked half sad for a slip second and he’s already noticed! What a doting boyfriend!

You smile softly and address the underbrush:

“I don’t really know what to do today to grab your attention away from… your extracurricular activities.” you admit.

And just as you finish your sentence, your dear hunter is next to you, bringing you into a hug, then speaking:

“You don’t have to do anything, mon amour.” he winks. “I already have my eyes on you at all times.”

Don’t you have the best boyfriend in the world? It would seem you have succeeded in your plans, even though you didn’t really plan anything.

  • platonic (great arch-nemesis)

The phone from Crowley is long gone. Yuu has finally thrown it away… into a crowd of students… while screaming 'YEET!’. Nevertheless the NRC students were very confused… especially the one that got hit with the phone… he had to go to the nurse’s office. Somehow Yuu didn’t get sued.

Now the prefect has a new second-hand phone, curtesy of Leona for keeping Rook as far away from him as possible. A good deal on both sides.

After setting their new phone in a safe place for recording, the prefect begins their speech:

“Day 3 of trying to hunt the school hunter.” the prefect pauses for a moment. “They really just let anybody into this school, huh?”

Silent footsteps approach, but Yuu is fast enough, as they turn around to see their mortal enemy: Rook Hunt.

The man in question jerks back for a moment, eyes slightly wide, before his usual expression returns and he grins… as he brings his bow and arrow ready to fire.

'Point-blanc range, huh.’ the prefect thinks. They quickly bring one of their knifes out and aim it at the hunters head.

With eyes narrowed, both of them get ready to launch their attacks when-

“Can you do this somewhere else?!” comes and annoyed growl from NRC’s own lion-man.

“Oh?” Rook muses, before putting all of his attention on him. “Roi de lion! What a nice surprise!” and with that the hunter starts heading towards him, the prefect long forgotten.

“Fuck.” is all Leona can say as he makes a quick beeline for wherever the hell he can. All the while Rook is following his every step.

“Hey!” the prefect protests as they, too start following the two. “We aren’t finished here, Hunt!” but the hunter only glances at them, before returning his sights on a nice would-be coat.

But not before sending Yuu a triumphant smirk.

And the prefect stops dead in their tracks: “I’m coming for you! You blond bastard!” a faint “Hurry up!” could be heard from the distance, no doubt the elusive would-be coat… maybe Rook should consider a rug. No! A bed throw!

And as the prefect turns to leave they mutter in the hunters direction one last time: “I’ll put your hat on a spike, I swear I will!”

  • bonus

Yuu and you are sitting outside of the Ramshackle. The two of you decided to have a nice, relaxing few hours drinking tea and eating some appetizers at the iron table with matching chairs in the yard.

The rust covering them has been cleaned off… for the most part.

As you glance around all you can think of is that Crowley really should’ve let Yuu buy those goats. They would’ve eaten all the overgrown grass in no time! What a cheapskate of a crow, that headmage is!

As you glance at the prefect you both nod in agreement. You should unite forces and hunt down the headmage. He deserves it.

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an: lore?

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masterlist

if you want to be tagged, you need only ask, also please specify what characters you are interested in reading about or if you want to be tagged in all works

taglist:@sras-is-doing-something@bucketofforks@daydreamingtv@tendous-socks

@oreochococheesecake@lycorizzz

Incorrect Quotes:

Y/N, thinking about Floyd: “He’s probably committing crimes right now.”

Deuce: “Who is?”

Y/N: “What are you, a cop?”

Incorrect Quotes

Malleus: “By the way, you all have to stop talking about gargoyles when you actually mean grotesques.”

Lilia: “They’re called gargoyles because they are garg-oyling water.”

Malleus: “Thank you, Lilia.”

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