i’m gonna be honest, whenever i’m feeling kinda meh, one thing that will always cheer me up is imagining ancient romans speaking with ridiculous southern united states accents
please imagine cicero addressing the senate with “well howwwwwwdy, y’all”
instead of catullus 16 beginning with “pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo” it starts off with “bless your hearts, furius and aurelius”
augustus reads ovid’s poetry and exiles him on the grounds that “it ain’t right”
and honestly i would love to hear “y’all’d’ve” come out of any of the ancients’ mouths
My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.
“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:
“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.
“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.
“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.
“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”
“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.
Bitch just thwarted a ghost possession by judging his accents
I had a blind professor, last semester, and I swung through his office to make up an exam. It was a while before I knew he was in there because he was sitting with the lights off. I finally went in, apologized, and took the exam by the light of a nearby window (which was fine). Forty-five minutes into dead silence he panicked and yelled in this booming voiced, “WAIT, YOU CAN SEE!!!” before diving across his desk to turn on the lights. I’m sure he was embarrassed but I thought it was endearing and it highlighted a large aspect of disabled life that I hadn’t previously considered.
Sort of relatedly I once had professor who was deaf, but she had learned to read lips and speak so she could communicate easily with hearing people who didn’t know sign language. One day she had gotten off topic and was talking a little about her personal life, so that one of the students said “Oh, I know, I grew up in Brooklyn too.”
She stared at him for a long time and then said “How do you know I’m from Brooklyn?”
And he said “You have a Brooklyn accent.”
She said “I do?” and the whole class nodded, and then she burst out laughing and said “I had no idea! The school where I learned to speak was in Brooklyn. I learned by moving my mouth and tongue the way my teachers did. So I guess it makes sense that I have their accent, I just never thought about it.”
LET ME TELL EVERYONE ABOUT ACTUAL BROOKLYNITES – NAY, ACTUAL NEW YORKERS – STEVE ROGERS AND BUCKY BARNES
• Have you ever met a New Yorker outside of midtown who doesn’t talk with their mouth full? Me neither. Steve Rogers, garbled: “M’jus say’n s’bullshit,” he manages, and swallows. “Our team doesn’t belong in fuckin’ Cali. Listen. You hear that?” “Is it Jim Morita laughing at us from beyond the grave?“ “Hell yeah, it’s Jim Morita laughing at us from beyond the grave.”
• Steve Rogers getting splashed with water by a cab. “WHADDAYA DOIN, HUH? JESUS!”
• Steve Rogers, by turns incredibly polite and incredibly rude on the subway. “Is this guy bothering you? Because if he tries to grope you again, I’m kicking his ass, miss, pardon my French.”
• Food Trucks: The Autobiography of an American Hero
• Those dumb BKLYN ballcaps. Steve owns like minimum ten.
• Wary of visiting Barton in Bed-Stuy. “I think I liked it better when it was crooks,” he says to Buck, eyeing a hipster in confusion. That sweater has like fourteen different kinds of flowers embroidered on it; it looks like something his ma owned, only ironic.
• “How much is eighteen dollars in future money?” Bucky asks him inside the Balcony Lounge in the Met. Steve blanches, staring at the menu. “For a salad? Oh my God, we’re going to the cafeteria.”
• Haggling in the fish market. Listen to me, this is so important. “That fish is a fuckin’ tadpole, and you want how much for it?” Bucky demands. “Hell no, hell no, kid, I’m old enough to be your granddad. It’s fifteen for the bunch there or none.” “Sir, these are set prices.” Turning to Steve, incredulous: “Does nobody goddamn know how to do business anymore? I swear to Christ. Bleedin’ me dry. I’m moving to Hell’s Kitchen.” “Hell’s Kitchen is just as expensive, sir.” “Well, fuck a duck, Steve, you hear that?”
• Following along with a yoga class happening in Central from six feet away, hidden slightly behind a tree
• “Yeah, Carnegie got hit in the Chitauri attack.” “What?” “It’s fine! It’s fine! It’s still there!” Steve refers not to the hall, but the deli. Priorities.
• Searching for apartments. “I’m starting to get the feeling,” Steve says, “That it’s cheaper to live in Manhattan.” He reaches for the listings for the other borough. Bucky grabs his hand. “Do not,” he says, “If you don’t want to have an aneurysm.”
• Bucky holding a stare-off with the 11 y/o kid on the subway wearing a Yankees jersey. The kid staring-off right back. Little punk.
• “Remember when New York was normal?” Steve asks Bucky, after watching the lady who owns the little domesticated monkey walk down Fifth Avenue, all up in her mink coat &etc. “Pal,” Bucky says, and drops a dollar into the can of a street performer, “New York was never normal.”
I LIIIIIIIVE.
Haggling at the fish market!
Lookin’ for an apartment!
My favourite, though, the sweater with the embroidered flowers all over it.
Throwback to that time when I watched too much Bernadette Banner and thought my English teacher’s North-English/British?? accent was a Transatlantic one and I stayed back after class just to ask him that and he chuckled at me. Everytime I think of that I die a little in the inside.
(Okay but in my defense he did spend most of his childhood years in America - )
rb this and tell me what ur accent is. this has no purpose except the fact i just realized i could have like… mutuals with cockney accents or newfoundland accents or something and thats just wild
highlights of the responses:
the solid hundred americans saying “idk general american”. i dont know what that isso im gonna pretend you mean “I sound like a disney channel character”
shoutout to whoever said “gay”. also whoever said “autism”.
to those curious; ‘newfoundland’ accents are what everyone i know says to refer to the stereotypical “canadian accent” that bad american TV has, 'cause you’re basically only gonna hear that in a random fishing town on the Maritimes’ coast.
the fact that almost every french person called their accent sexy
all my fellow canadians who are saying “canadian but i dONT SOUND NEWFIE” like yes babe we are not all One Single Fishing Town Accent (no hate to the newfies tho ily)
the one who said “i sound like siri. i have no accent” meanwhile siri is So Fucking Accented to my ears
the amount of people with english as a second language in the notes who now love their accents <3 that’s great, love urself
everyone going “i’m TOLD i sound british. please not that”
the one person who described their accent instead of just saying a word. they happened to be canadian and i was like “you just. absolutely and totally described how i talk”
the amount of californians going “californian but i dONT SOUND SURFER OR VALLEY GIRL” like the US version of “im not newfie”
the one single californian who was like “yeah i sound surfer. what are u gonna do about it”
