#addicts

how to get high when t e s t s ????

heyo, how to get meth off my piss fast pls?

A take on my buddy who said to me tonight..

“I feel like everyone is looking at me”

D U C K S E A S O N a s t o r y

But yeah in all honesty, if you keep pushing the limit and go on using and staying up after you’re feeling that way and can’t shake it, there are about 4-5 more levels of that exact situation except with visual and auditory hallucinations that are almost impossible to tell from reality unless you’ve been doing this for years and years… Even then , seasoned heads know to put it down and rest and recoup because those are the badlands. These times are when shit gets crucial and I’ve had many near death experiences trying to navigate through that psychosis and it is not fun at all. Once in my younger years , 2nd time being up for about 12 days… Using hard every day, mixing drugs also.. I woke up , driving , on the wrong side of the highway.. the next time I woke up I was on the interstate slamming into the left side lane median. Every car on the road I seen was police and it was a nightmare that barely ended. I slept for a week and didn’t return to the badlands for years. That being on accident. Once you experience this kinda shit you’ll be able to laugh off the people looking at you shit. Which you will learn thru and thru how to confidently know for sure when someone is looking at you and when they’re not. By the time you have it down, they won’t be looking due to thinking you’re on meth , cause your tolerance will give way to that being your normal state. If you enter the badlands you must be aware that almost anyone who knows you well will be able to see something isn’t quite right. Also, pay attention to your closest, longest relationships that you have had that were a part of your life before you used meth at all. These are the red herrings and also you will be more likely to share or divulge excess information that not all or them will be equipped to handle or accommodating towards. My highest opinion (pun intended), is to feel the person you’re interacting with out on shit… If they’re not openly doing the same thing and amount you are.. I’d advise you to keep it under the rug. I am a successful early middle age person in an industry and one of my biggest regrets is letting certain people in on things in my life that I shouldn’t have, and not having many secrets.. it has made things and conversations very difficult that would otherwise not be. It has given ammunition to any slight possibility of failure inexperience for a great time to interject about my lifestyle choices. I lost some friends over my explanation of something that wouldn’t even be known to this day if I would not have made them aware to it….

Being a drug addict is a part time job that only pays the sickest part of your brain. But it’s me. I can’t stand the real world. It’s a lonely existence even if you’re crowded. If you’re early in on meth… One thing I can reinforce to you is that the bad shit that you have already experienced, and twisted into a justify able version of events for yourself.. Those things only get worse. They can pile up to you taking a look around and everything that leads up to your current standing may be drugs. All of this won’t apply to everyone.. but in my early opinion there really is no such thing as complete 100% self controlled non damaging meth use.

I gotta go somebody is looking at me. Lol…… Be well.

“There are all kinds of addicts, I guess. We all have pain. And we all look for ways to make the pain go away.”

Sherman Alexie, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian

https://bookshop.org/a/12010/9780316013697

disableism:

Pandemic-brain means I have no idea what the date is half the time. Which is how I nearly missed my 11 years sober - today. This last year I’ve said things like, “I can’t believe I’m living through a year like this.” But the fact is I am…living through it. Living to see it. Something I wouldn’t have thought 11 years ago - that I would not only see the year 2021, but see it with my head above the water. Even though I have to be on pain pills again bc of degeneration in my body, I’m being safe & I’m being sane about it. And that’s a strong-man’s (or woman’s, or person’s) feat right there. 2021, I’m here.

lilithvetrova:

adventures-in-poor-planning:

“oh homeless people are just gonna use your money to buy drugs” and? and?? the government uses my tax money to buy bombs and cops, you think I care if someone in a shitty situation uses money I gave them to feel marginally less shitty? fuck off!

I’m looking at a lot of replies to this and some people really don’t get what this is like.

For context; I’m a recovering poly addict (somebody who was addicted to multiple different substances). For those who are nosy, it was alcohol and opioids.

I was also *technically* homeless for a period. I was lucky to be able to couch surf but there was definitely days where I had no idea where I was going to stay, and constantly had to rely of the kindness of others. I was on welfare at the time, but not much.

I was trying to get sober while couch surfing and holy fucking shit, it’s hard, I don’t think anyone understands how hard it is. I was fortunate to be able to lay on a warm couch and have withdrawals and even then, it was hard. That added stress of knowing that I was going to have to move on to the next kind person in my life was an extra layer to add onto how fucking sick I was. A lot of people don’t understand the physical aspect of drug use. My first night I spent violently shaking and clinging to a toilet bowl, wondering if I was dying.

I cannot even begin to fathom what it is like for those living on the street going through withdrawls. Hungry, cold, sleeping in a tent or on a cardboard box or on the god damn ground. I do not blame a single person for using money I give to avoid that. That is not a situation where it is reasonable to ask people to get sober. It’s just not.

Support homeless addicts, unconditionally, or don’t bother pretending like you care about them. Take the niciesties out the fucking door. If your criteria for helping homeless people includes “sobriety” then you don’t actually care.