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synopsis: you come home to akaashi’s final letter to you, ending your 5 year relationship with the beautiful novelist.
author’s note: chapter sixteen of ellie and i’s “the last five years” au collab. AH last chapter from me (official last chapter of this series is the next from ellie^^),,,,i had such an fun time working with ellie on this, it was honor to collaborate with her. i hope you all have enjoyed this series so far and this (short) chapter too, thank you <3
don’t kiss me goodbye again
leave this night clean and quiet
you were outside your apartment, hands pulling at akaashi’s hair, tugging him down to roughly kiss him with passion. his dainty and nimble hands roamed your body, one hand gripping your waist and pulling you close, the other placed on the back of your neck to further deepen said kiss. after what seemed like hours just making out (when in reality it was more like 20 seconds) you pulled away, a string of saliva connecting the two of you, your forehead leaning against his as you panted for air, looking deep into his addictive pretty blue eyes.
you want the last word, you want me to laugh but leave it for now
both of you began walking down the stairs, him walking one step ahead of you but still facing your way, a smirk on his face when he licked his bottom lip, making you roll your eyes and smack his shoulder lightly. “all you can say, all you can feel, was wrapped up inside that one perfect kiss, leave it at that. i’ll watch you turn the corner and go…” you told him, reaching the bottom of the stairs and seeing him turn away slightly to start leaving. before he could, you grabbed his wrist, pulling him in to hold him; his arms immediately wrapping around your frame and breathing in the familiar scent of you hair.
“goodbye until tomorrow, akaashi. goodbye until the next time you call and i will be waiting, you hear?”
he chuckled, pushing your hair out of your face. “i hear you, alright. trust me, you don’t need to wait though, i can barely get enough of you, beautiful.” you let him go reluctantly, shyly waving bye to him.
goodbye until tomorrow, goodbye ‘til i recall how to breathe
and i have been waiting, i have been waiting for you!
you always felt like you stood on a precipice, struggling to keep your balance. it was hard for you to enter a relationship and give your trust, to become vulnerable with someone truly. it was a difficult task for you to do, and whenever you finally gave yourself to a person, they left you, so you were scared to do that with anyone nowadays. but, with akaashi, you felt yourself opening yourself up one stitch at a time, showing him more of yourself than anyone else has seen.
and he accepted you, he cut through your strings and opened your wings. it was a wild concept, because with him you felt like you were flying despite falling deeper and deeper in love with him. it was like you waited your whole life to meet this perfect person, just waiting for him to show up. and he was yours, the man of your dreams was your boyfriend and you wouldn’t wish for anything different, because you would go through all the pain from your previous relationships if it meant he would still be yours in the end.
because honestly, it felt like akaashi keiji rescued you.
synopsis: on a trip to your parents’ house for akaashi to meet them, you also take a trip down memory lane as well
author’s note: chapter fourteen of ellie and i’s “the last five years” au collab. HHHHH i love this chapter, hope you enjoy it too <3
my best friend had a little situation at the end of our senior year
and like a shot, she and mitchell got married that summer
you sat in the passenger seat of akaashi’s black convertible, the wind ruining your perfectly done hair; even though your parents would probably scold you on looking so improper you couldn’t seem to care about that at all in the moment. you had your senior yearbook out, telling your boyfriend about your old friend who got knocked up in high school.
“carolann was getting bigger literally every minute, you wouldn’t believe how huge she got, ‘kaashi! and mitchell was going out ev’ry night being a heavy-metal drummer…i mean i guess it worked out for them though, they got a little cute house on a little cute street with a crucifix on the door. oh! but mitchell got a job at a record store in the mall, so maybe not so much?” you giggled, closing the book.
just the typical facts of a typical life in a town on the eastern shore
“oh really? did you want something like that, hmm?” he asked teasingly, coming to a stop at a red light, looking at you with an eyebrow raised.
you thought about his question, thought about what you wanted…and it wasn’t like that at all. you looked towards akaashi, shaking your head quickly, “i made carolann a cute baby sweater, thinking ‘i can do better than that!’” leaning over the center console, you grabbed your boyfriend’s pretty face in your hands and pressed a quick kiss to his soft lips. the traffic lights turned to green but he didn’t start driving again; instead, he went to go in for another kiss–well tried to before you ended up smacking him away with a laugh, telling him to start driving again.
in a year or so, i moved to the city, thinking “what have i got to lose?”
got a room, got a cat, and got twenty pounds thinner
you sighed, looking up to the blue sky in wonder and disbelief, a wild memory of your past relationship coming to your head. “i remember, i met a guy in a class i was taking with some very well placed tattoos,” you started, rolling your eyes at the thought of him, “he wouldn’t leave me alone ‘less i went with him to dinner.”
“tell me about him, love.” the nickname akaashi had grown to give you made your stomach twist and explode with butterflies, embarrassing warmth flooding your cheeks.
“well, i guess he was cute, and i guess he was sweet, and i guess he was good in bed. i gave up my life for the better part of a year. so i’m starting to think that this maybe might work and the second it entered my head…” your head rolled to look at your lover, deadpanning, “he needed to take some time off, focus on his ‘career.’ he blew me off with a heartfeltletter! the audacity, really…but i couldn’t help but think ‘i can do better than that!’”
you don’t have to get a haircut, you dont’t have to change your shoes, you don’t have to like duran duran…just love me…
you reached your hand over to him, running your fingers through his black locks, tugging it ever so slightly. he eyed you from the corner of his eyes, looking at you curiously with a pleasured groan, “what?”
“just thinking. listen, you don’t have to put the seat down–” he snorted at your words, interrupting your intimate speech that you just came up with two seconds ago, “listen! you don’t have to watch the news, you don’t have to learn to tango. you don’t have to eat prosciutto, you don’t have to change a thing for me ‘kaashi.”
just stay with me
he drove to a private corner that wasn’t on your way to your parent’s house, pulling over and parking the car. he took off his seatbelt, looking at you with need, “get in the back, love.” a shiver ran down your spine and straight to your core at his dominant tone, immediately climbing over the chair and taking off your cardigan, watching as he got out of the car and took off his own dress shirt, jumping over the door to get to you quicker (the way his toned muscles in his arm tensed as he did so was so very intoxicating.)
his hands slid under back, fitting himself between your legs like a puzzle, leaning down to place kisses all over your jaw and neck, nipping at your skin here and there. you arched into him, a small moan escaping your lips, your nails dragging down his back. “i want you and you and nothing but you,” you breathed out, grabbing his face to look at you, “miles and piles of you. finally, i’ll have something worthwhile to think of each morning…”
you kissed him deeply, your mouth automatically opening for his access. your hands reached down to unbuckle his pants, making quick work with unbuttoning them next. he got up off of you, kicking his pants off quickly. “what else do you want, darling? i’ll give it to you, anything.”
“you, ‘kaashi, and nothing but you.” you sat up, pushing him back down and straddling his hips as best as you could in the small car. you tugged your shirt off–luckily you did wear a skirt today so…that was easy to work with. he dove into your chest, your hands flying back up to his hair and pulling at it. you dragged your teeth along his earlobe, panting into his ear, “you’re mine. totally mine.”
i don’t need any lifetime commitments
i don’t need to get hitched tonight
you were back on the road, fixing your smudged lipstick with a smile. you stole a look at akaashi, admiring his disheveled hair and marks that you left on his neck. “like what you see?” he teased, his electrifying blue eyes narrowed at you.
“hell yeah i do.” you pinched his cheek playfully, sticking your tongue out before becoming somewhat serious again, “i don’t mean to put on any pressure, ‘kaashi, but i know when a thing is right, and i spend everyday re-configuring my senses! so when when we get to my house, take a look at that town, at how far i’ve gone. i will never go back, never look back anymore because it feels like my life led right to your side and will keep me there from now on!”
he softly smiled at you, caressing your cheek, “i love you, y/n.”
think about what you wanted
think about what could be
think about how i love you
he pulled into your childhood neighborhood, parking his car at the curb in front of your parents’ house. before he could open his door, you grabbed onto his wrist, “say you’ll move in with me. think about it, at least. think of what’s great about me and you. think of the bullshit we’ve both been through. think of what’s past. because…we can do better than that, keiji.”
you saw him gulp when you said his actual name for the first time before breaking out into a wide grin, “love…i don’t have to think about it. let’s do it, okay? anywhere you want, as long as we are together.”
you smiled brightly, tears springing to your eyes at his sudden acceptance, “i love you, so much. oh! there’s my parents, ah–wait you have a little bit of my lipstick on your lip, lemme help you so my mom doesn’t think bad of you…”
genre: uhh normal (not really fluff), angst, TLFY!au
warnings: overthinker reader, arguing, cursing
word count: 1283
synopsis: your auditions seem to be getting worse and worse, you can’t help but start doubting every little thing
author’s note: chapter twelve to ellie and i’s “the last five years” au collab. this chapter is one of my favorites, i had fun writing it, enjoy <3
“when you come home to me…? i-i’ll wear a sweeter smile and hope that, for a while, you’ll–” you stopped singing when one of the casting directors put a hand up to signal for you to stop. you awkwardly smiled, “o-oh…okay, thank you…” speed walking off stage in embarrassment, you left the building quickly, pulling out your phone to call akaashi.
i’m climbing uphill, jamie
climbing uphill
you stood in a line of two hundred girls that you got up at six in the morning for. you noticed how they all seemed to be prettier than you, younger and thinner than you. hell! there was even a woman behind you who just got back from the gym…
i’m waiting five hours in line and watching the girls just coming and going
a girl walks out of the doors to the stage and you can’t help but whine internally when you see that she was wearing the exact same dress as you. so much for originality to impress the directors, huh? you look away from said girl when your number is called, a woman leading you to the stage where there’s a piano and a table full of men in front of you.
always men–usually gay
who’ve been sitting like i have and listening all day to two hundred girls belting as high as they can
placing your bag on the floor, you grab your hand mirror out and try to hype yourself up. ‘i am a good person. i’m an attractive person. i am a talented person. grant me grace.’ you shakily exhale, snapping your mirror shut and turning to look at the middle-aged men staring at you expectantly.
when you come home…
the pianist starts playing so you start singing, immediately second-guessing each one of your actions. should you have told them you were sick last week? oh god what if they think that’s the way you sing! why is this pianist playing so loud?? should you sing louder?? yeah, you’ll sing louder, that’s a good idea, right?
maybe i should stop and start over, i’m gonna stop and start over
your e/c eyes widen when you see one of the directors staring at his crotch, were you not more interesting than whatever he had down there?? your eyes snap over to the man next to him and shit, he’s reading your resume. don’t stare at my resume, i made up half of my resume, look at me! you beg in your mind, continuing to sing your audition song.
no! not at my shoes, don’t look at my shoes
you glance down at your feet, mentally cursing yourself for choosing these shoes. you hate these stupid shoes. why did i pick these shoes?? why did i pick this song? why did i pick this career? why does this pianist hate me? you’re freaking out about everything at this point, your hands at your side literally vibrating at this point.
if i dont get a callback i can go to crate & barrel with mom and buy a couch, not that i want to spend a day with mom
your mind travels to akaashi and while thinking of him usually calms you, you can’t help but freak out more over him. keiji needs space to write and since you’re obviously such a horrible annoying distraction to him, what’s he gonna be like when you have kids?? akaashi can’t even handle you around the house at this point so how is he going to deal with having mini-hims running around everywhere when he is trying to focus??? why are you even thinking about kids in the first place??
and once again…why am i working so hard? these are the people who cast russell crowe in a musical!
jesus christ! you shut your eyes closed, wanting to disappear from existence. this audition was going horrible and although your mouth kept going with lyrics, your thoughts only consisted of i suck i suck i suck i suck.
“when finally you come home to–”
“thanks that’s great.” one of men interrupted with a sarcastic comment, already wishing for you to get off stage.
sighing, you bit your lip and answered, “okay, thank you…”
thank you very much
you found yourself at a library, an event being held here for akaashi to do a live reading of his book. you stood among the crowd, giving him a grin and applause whenever it was due. he stood in front of a podium, his tall form towering over it as he continued to read. he was an amazing writer, but he was an even better storyteller. the raw emotion he put behind each word sent goosebumps down your arms, his silky smooth voice pulling you in and trapping you.
i will not be the girl stuck at home in the ‘burbs
yet despite akaashi always having a way with words that made you have your full attention on him, your mind still wandered to a different place. you know you were supposed to be here for him, proud of him but you felt frustrated somehow. you did not want to be the girl who sat still and looked pretty, with the baby, the dog, and the garden of herbs.
i will not be the girl in the sensible shoes
pushing burgers and beer nuts and missing the clues
you hated whenever one of his fans came up to you, asking “how does it feel to be the girl trotting along at the genius’ heels?” yeah, you loved akaashi. truly, you loved him with all your heart but you were notthe girl who requires a man to get by! and you definitely were not–
applause suddenly filled your ears, making you–as if you were programmed–smile and clap for him as well. you watch as people of both genders come up to him and congratulate him on his book, introducing themselves to him. you knew they were important by the way keiji’s eyes widened and a formal smile made its way onto his face.
akaashi and you then make eye contact from across the room, he lifts his long pointer finger up to get you to come to him, but you just grin at him and give him a thumbs up, trying to be as supportive as possible.
next thing you know, you’re at home and you’re arguing with him, his loud angry voice filling the room as he tries to talk over you, “no! i’ve been to every one of your parties and events and the same thing happens over and over again! i’m basically your waitress for the evening–listen to me! i’m constantly being asked if i’m your publicist because everybody asks me to take photos of you with them. and these people are always asking me the same thing every single goddamn time, ‘how did you and keiji meet? what’s keiji like? where are you from? what’s your name?’ they dont remember because i’m not important, am i? nope! nobody would notice if i left, not even you akaashi! you’re always begging me to go but then you abandon and so i stand by the bar all night and i’m drinking! drink after drink after drink as i hold my purse just waiting for someone to talk to me! for you to talk to me but of course you dont even–”
“stop–stop it, stop it, y/n!” he booms, his thundering enraged voice making you flinch and back away, “just stop and listen to me! can we just, for two minutes, have a conversation where you’re not arguing with everything i say! two fucking minutes! then you can say whatever the hell you want, y/n.”
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