#akigumi
My depression suddenly disappeared…
They look so happy
T/N: There are a few pictures I added, but still not the typical amount that I do. Also, this may not hit as hard if you’re reading this without knowing what led up to this, so I recommend knowing the lead up to this before reading ep 31 and this one. But of course, it’s only recommended. Without further ado, enjoy and bring your tissues y’all.
Banri: …
(Center stage, time’s almost up…)
(I can understand the value and importance of this place now more than when I first stood on this stage.)
(The time since I’ve arrived here at MANKAI Company…)
(The new Spring Troupe and Summer Troupe, and we, the Autumn Troupe, and the Winter Troupe have all piled into here.)
(I can’t just up and ruin what this theatre has grown and become.)
(—I want to continue to stand here.)
(Now I remember what’s at stake here, and I can be as honest as I can be.)
… Phew.
(The stage looks bigger when you’re alone.)
(But I’m not alone. Behind the audience is the rest of Mankai.)
(And Autumn and Director-chan are here between all the equipment… I couldn’t feel more supported.)
(There’s a live audience, but there’s even more behind the camera.)
… Let’s go.
(I can’t think of any better way to do this now, it’s time to show the world who I am.)
Chikage: 3, 2, 1—
~
Banri: —I’m Banri Settsu from MANKAI Company.
First of all, I’d like to apologize for making any fans feel uncomfortable by my actions.
When the next performance was announced, I caused a bit of an uproar, and I’m sorry.
But I didn’t decide to do this stream just to apologize.
There’s been rumors spreading around SNS and it’s muddling the truth.
In fact, there’ve been many people who’ve annoyed me in life and I regret what I’ve done. I want to apologize for that now too.
But that’s not all of who I am, and I don’t want Mankai’s reputation to be damaged because of a misunderstanding caused by someone like me.
Today, I wanted everyone to know about the person named “Banri Settsu”, so I decided to do it in this way.
Please, let me tell you about the past and future of my life.
I’m an actor, so what better way to express it than on a stage rather than at a press conference.
…
“My portrait—Banri Settsu.”
Banri Settsu used to be empty.
When I was young, I excelled at everything and people around me praised me for it.
In the beginning, I thought I just wanted the compliments from my family to keep rolling.But eventually, when my excelling became the norm, the praises came less and less.
Most of all, though, my feelings about things started to fall too, and eventually, everything I did bored me.While growing up in those circumstances, I started fighting in high school.
When I think back on it now, maybe I was a bit scared.
I wasn’t motivated by anything, so maybe I was scared to admit I was someone who was empty.That’s why I wanted something to rekindle me, even if it was just a bit, and fighting rougher dudes was the only solution I had at the time.
I didn’t think about how much I’d hurt someone. I was only looking for a driving force for myself.Thinking back on it now, I think I knew I was doing something stupid. I didn’t think about how much it’d affect the future though.
No, maybe I didn’t think at all. I think I was just desperate.One day, I came across a theater. It was a rather modest place, but after stepping into this theater, it was the first time my life took a turn I wasn’t expecting.
I couldn’t accept the fact that I’d lost, so I ran.But then I saw my friends perform on their own, and I thought to myself that it couldn’t end here, I wouldn’t accept this defeat.
“Be different from your past self”,
“Be proud to stand in the middle of the stage”,
“For your friends and yourself, make your dream come true for all of you”,
“Face that dream of yours head on, no more running”…Eventually, I came to think that trying to touch my friends’ feelings is the life I want to live.
I guess it sounds weird for those who were just trying their hardest.My personal experience of theater became a portrait of my friends.
From then on, my life changed, and I went to university to take acting seriously.My way of life changed so suddenly.
And watching someone else’s performance made me reflect on my life.In front of me, my friends lived life in real time, while I faked mine.
Before, if I were to see their desperation, I might’ve laughed at them.But then I realized that those actors were leagues better than I was, while I was just trying to run.
Maybe it’s ‘cause I didn’t want to face the fact that I wasn’t better than someone for the first time in my life.
I want to be myself and I can do anything, I couldn’t show my weaknesses to others… And I was sure that not allowing myself to show my weakness WAS my weakness.And it’s thanks to my friends, I realized it was a hundred times more likely to run away from your problems and I shouldn’t resort to that.
So, no matter how crappy I am, I don’t want to run from the stage again, I’ll do my damndest.
I want to perform a play that will change someone’s life, like how my friends’ performances changed the me who was once empty.I think that’s the coolest way I’d be able to live life, and it’s the reason why I want to stand on stage as an actor, and I plan on sticking with it.
I was against theatre, I messed up time and time again, I was stuck, I was shit at it.
But now I have friends who’ve shown me it’s okay to struggle.I want to stand on the stage of this theater, of this theatre company, with my friends.
Nothing else can replace it. I don’t care that it has to be theater.
All of the answers to my ultimate desire are right here.Even after all of my struggling, I want to perform to the best of my ability, and I want to be proud of myself, living this life.
That’s why I want to stand here.
Now, it’s the only thing on my mind.
I don’t want to let go of the answers to life that I’ve had.I want to act. Here in this place, forever. Even now, and long after—!
Banri: But—
…
Banri: Haha, in the end, I’m just me…
Banri: For the first time in my life, I can feel my heart tighten.
Even though my emotions were all based around others… this is who I am.
This is all of me now… Thank you.
~
Izumi: I’m proud of you, Banri-kun.
Tasuku: You did good.
Yuki: Isn’t this the first time you’re so honest?
Tenma: All of Banri-san was laid out.
Kumon: Even though you stumbled, you still got back up, how cool, Banri!
Muku: I’m sure everyone has an understanding now!
Misumi: Good job, Banri!
Homare: What an incredibly moving portrait!
Tsumugi: It’s a portrait only he can do.
Itaru: Uwa, we’re the same.
Manager: The stream has been stopped now!
Taichi: Ban-chan!!
Banri: Urk.
Omi: Well done.
Sakyo: Good job, Leader.
Banri: Oi, don’t pat my head!
Azami: I’m glad you cried at the end. You would’ve ruined your makeup.
Juza: It sucked.
Banri: Shut up!
Juza: … But, it was cool.
Banri: I said shut up.
Izumi: (I’m glad Banri-kun has his friends now.)
(I’m glad Autumn was able to meet and accept each other for who they are.)
Skrrt Right: AkigumiEdition
