#almost lover

And if you could wait

5 years to come back

Then you can wait

5 more after that

Maybe then you could spend

Your whole goddamn life

Wishing I missed you

While I lived my life

SIGNED, SEALED, BURNED

poem transcript under the cut.

[transcript: “Something I wished to tell you but

could never bring myself to say:

I kissed your hair that night when you fell asleep

in my arms.

I don’t think you felt it but I wish you had.

I can never put my love into words.

Let this be enough:

Two arms around your torso and

my lips on your forehead

and the orange we shared,

how the slices made our fingers sticky

and the juice dripped onto the bed.

When you nearly fell and instinctively

reached for my hand

and you didn’t let go,

even when you regained balance

and I wished we could stay like that forever,

fingers interlocked and palms pressed together.

But eventually you let go

and my hand is still cold

because it remembers your warmth.

Here’s the letter I will never send to you,

the one I will throw into the fire once I have confessed my sins:

You almost kissed me at the lake

and I don’t know what stopped you.

Were you scared?

I wouldn’t have pushed you away.

I would’ve reciprocated without a moment’s hesitation.

Worst of all:

I wish I could omit the almost from my memory

(you kissed me at the lake).

That is the tale I will tell myself.

You were mine, once. (Almost. Almost.)” [/end transcript]

I would like to visit you for a while get away from the city maybe I shouldn’t have called but someone had to be the first to break taught we can sit on your back porch relax talk about anything it doesn’t matter I’ll be courageous if you’ll pretend that you forgiven me I know I let you down again and again I know it didn’t really treat you right I’ve paid the price and I’m still paying for it every day