#aspd thoughts
I love how tumblr doesn’t contain “immediate thoughts” like twitter, like if I started posting stuff like “im hungry” “i wanna go to the toilet” everyone would find me weird and unfollow me here.
it’s almost like environment shapes us
not new tho
I have the occasion to start living alone beginning in january 2020 and it all seems very tempting,, but also I could just wait til I move country at the end of the year ? Because it’s really time consuming to just clean everything by myself and do groceries and all that shit that I’ll just do my whole life and ummm idK i could just try and see though.
When you learn no one will ever truly be fully comfortable with you not having empathy and now you just feel…alone.
(not blaming anyone or saying anyone HAS to be comfortable. just venting. the discomfort makes sense)
the more damaged you are = the more you despise your birthday
it’s mathematical.
to me (one of the) problem(s) is that my birthday is 2 days after the birthday of one of my only 2 friends. the fact is that she doesn’t have only 2 friends, she’s a very social person, and always sets up a big party with lots of people. which is bad, obviously, because I don’t handle social situation very well.
but also because I, usually, am pretty fine with being alone and not having friends. It’s something I’ve accepted because my mental set doesn’t allow me to mantein friendships (NPD makes difficult to care about others and compromise, ASPD makes difficult showing empathy and often makes me feel angry at them, and I am generally an introverted\misanthropist person, and that doesn’t help), and I kinda accepted (and like) to stay on my own. but trust me, when you see how a neurotypical normal person behaves, how is to be normal and have friends and parties and all of that shit that you will never have…
well, you don’t feel kinda good.
