#sociopathy

I have the occasion to start living alone beginning in january 2020 and it all seems very tempting,, but also I could just wait til I move country at the end of the year ? Because it’s really time consuming to just clean everything by myself and do groceries and all that shit that I’ll just do my whole life and ummm idK i could just try and see though.

npd-and-proud-of-it:

the more damaged you are = the more you despise your birthday

it’s mathematical. 

to me (one of the) problem(s) is that my birthday is 2 days after the birthday of one of my only 2 friends. the fact is that she doesn’t have only 2 friends, she’s a very social person, and always sets up a big party with lots of people. which is bad, obviously, because I don’t handle social situation very well. 

but also because I, usually, am pretty fine with being alone and not having friends. It’s something I’ve accepted because my mental set doesn’t allow me to mantein friendships (NPD makes difficult to care about others and compromise, ASPD makes difficult showing empathy and often makes me feel angry at them, and I am generally an introverted\misanthropist person, and that doesn’t help), and I kinda accepted (and like) to stay on my own. but trust me, when you see how a neurotypical normal person behaves, how is to be normal and have friends and parties and all of that shit that you will never have…

well, you don’t feel kinda good.

Inside hospitals you can physically perceive death as a concrete creature, basically standing bere beside you, watching silently, and waiting.

It’s here, breathing, polluting the air like a contagious virus, and suddenly you feel it infecting you as well.

You feel death.

You can even touch it.

And suddenly, it can touch you too.