#autism feels
when i watch other people my age, i see that they have this kind of effortless way about them that i don’t think i’ll ever have. the way they talk to each other and the way they go out and pursue what interests them without having to think twice about it. the way they know how to conduct themselves, the way it all comes so naturally to them, like breathing or swimming or riding a bike. it’s like they all have something ingrained in them that i just don’t have, and it’s so embarrassing and it’s fucking killing me. i wish i knew how to be okay.
How do neurotypicals not have a set spot at their table? How can they sit in different spots every time??? How??? It feels so wrong and uncomfortable!!
It’s a bittersweet concept, seeing characters in fiction tackle the symptoms of mental illness/neurodiversities with such tact, when we don’t often witness this in reality.
I’ll read a story with a well-rounded character, who is written with an accurate portrayal of Autism, by an Autistic author. And it’s kind of… heartwarming? To see the others in said story react with understanding, to things such as sensory overload, or meltdowns, or to finally see someone be so encouraged to speak on a special interest. All the while, they never infantilize this individual, nor do they mock him. They don’t make him out to be weak, unintelligent, or less than. He has many other aspects to his personality. He is smart, witty, caring, and independent.⁽¹⁾
Because he is a person. He is an adult. He just so happens to have Autism and ADHD.
I’m in the same boat, and despite those moments being fiction, reading them makes me feel justified in existing as me.
Maybe it’s some deep-rooted, internalised ableism I still have towards myself. But whenever I experience those negative symptoms, all I receive from my family is ridicule and taunts. I don’t feel like a valid person struggling with my own conditions. I feel like I need to get over myself. (/nav)
It makes me wonder, how many others are in the same boat?
We shouldn’t guilt people over things they can’t change. It will only make things worse. Besides, it’s not that hard to be supportive. Or, at the very least, not to be a dick.
-
(⁽¹⁾Note:You don’t have to be “independent” to be a rational person, or an adult, or anything. I was only describing this character. There is nothing wrong with needing help, or having a disability that does not allow you to care for yourself.)
That autistic feel when new media is Too Much so you isolate yourself in your own home even though you really just want to be with you family
