Saying “that’s karma” about people having disabilities or getting diseases is very ableist.
TW + CW: ableism
I saw two reddit posts today
1. A six year old girl gets a agressive form of cancer and may die.
2. A 11 year old girl gets paralyzed in a tragic accident
So what were people’s reactions??
Saying that’s karma because the parents, kids or someone tbe kid knows did something “ bad ” so people claiming the kids “ deserved ” such things..
I see this a lot. People claiming disabilities and illnesses are “ deserved ” and “ karma” because the person or someone they know did something bad…
Like it’s so messed up to say that such things are deserved and karma.
But also it has some really f×cked up underlying implications that people truly believe those with disabilities or illnesses are bad people that deserved it or in somehow karma.
4 years ago, I was sleeping about 4 hours every night. Many of my closest friends at the time had, or were in the process of, leaving me and I would cry from the loneliness. I was fighting with my parents and wanted to leave home. They thought I was exaggerating and attention-seeking. Every appointment ended with “we can’t help you” or “there’s nothing wrong with you” or medications that made me worse, to put it lightly. More than once I wanted to end it
This morning, I woke up after sleeping for 9 hours in a room built by my dad specially for me, so I would have a space for me if I stay at home longer because of my health. I texted my best friend who yesterday asked me to be her bridesmaid. Before asking me, she spent weeks making sure it would all be accessible and fun for me, not stressful. My mum brought my medication in for me, ones that actually make me feel better, and asked how I was feeling. Later I’ll text one of the members of my lovely and amazingly supportive medical team to see when we can video call. We always have tea when we call, and cookies or a cupcake- food doesn’t scare me so much anymore. Every appointment ends with “you’re doing so well”. I haven’t hurt myself in years, I actually stopped counting, and when it all gets too much I know I have people I can talk to and strategies prepared to get through it and it will pass. Life is still hard. But it keeps moving, and I’m so grateful.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it will be ok. It might not be now, and I don’t know when it will be, but it will be. It doesn’t all happen at once. Things are still hard. But one day you’ll wake up and be so glad you didn’t leave, because you would have missed these moments of happiness and love, and some of them-probably more than you realise- wouldn’t have been possible without you.
Do you believe that empathy is a trait that is learned/taught?
Or do you believe that one develops it naturally as we grow (so long as that process is not disrupted by neurodevelopmental, phycological, or other external factors?)
Similarly, do you think it’s possible to teach yourself to better understand, or maybe even better experience empathy, if said issues were to occur?
It’s a bittersweet concept, seeing characters in fiction tackle the symptoms of mental illness/neurodiversities with such tact, when we don’t often witness this in reality.
I’ll read a story with a well-rounded character, who is written with an accurate portrayal of Autism, by an Autistic author. And it’s kind of… heartwarming? To see the others in said story react with understanding, to things such as sensory overload, or meltdowns, or to finally see someone be so encouraged to speak on a special interest. All the while, they never infantilize this individual, nor do they mock him. They don’t make him out to be weak, unintelligent, or less than. He has many other aspects to his personality. He is smart, witty, caring, and independent.⁽¹⁾
Because he is a person. He is an adult. He just so happens to have Autism and ADHD.
I’m in the same boat, and despite those moments being fiction, reading them makes me feel justified in existing as me.
Maybe it’s some deep-rooted, internalised ableism I still have towards myself. But whenever I experience those negative symptoms, all I receive from my family is ridicule and taunts. I don’t feel like a valid person struggling with my own conditions. I feel like I need to get over myself. (/nav)
It makes me wonder, how many others are in the same boat?
We shouldn’t guilt people over things they can’t change. It will only make things worse. Besides, it’s not that hard to be supportive. Or, at the very least, not to be a dick.
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(⁽¹⁾Note:You don’t have to be “independent” to be a rational person, or an adult, or anything. I was only describing this character. There is nothing wrong with needing help, or having a disability that does not allow you to care for yourself.)
Me:Maybe I don’t have ADHD… Maybe I’ve been faking it for attention after all.
Also me when I watch anything: Speeding up the playback because I don’t have an attention span, adding subtitles because auditory processing issues, turning the volume up to god Themselves to prevent a Thought from coming, and ending up scrolling through memes the whole time
If i may expand upon this, as another autistic person: yeah. This is literally it. Everyone always gets sad when i mention that i only know the names of four of my ckassmates. They dont understand that that is purely because i only learn the names of people that i either absolutely have to, or find interesting. I am happy with my four friends and my ambivalence towards everyone else.
Everyone also assumes ambition in life. And we hile i do have an aspiration, its not all that grand. I do have an ideal job, but failing that, anything will do. I simply want to have enough to get by. I want enough money to be able to comfortably afford a small apartment, and have enough left over to buy furniture with good texture, food with a good taste, and a stable wifi connection.
If i have that and 3 close friends i can be happy for the rest of my days.
I would likely leave my house for groceries, work, and to see those 3 friends. Maybe a love life would come into play at some point, maybe not.
And no neurotypical i have met seems to comprehend how i could be happy with a life like that.
One of the really, really frustrating things about being autistic is that you feel like you spend your life trying to reach some sort of unattainable middle-ground:
- We’re criticised for not making enough conversation, but when we do actually really get in to a conversation we are told we’re ‘too intense’.
- We’re often trained to maintain unbroken eye-contact during conversations, yet in reality too much eye-contact is called ‘staring’ and makes people very, veryuncomfortable.
- We’re encouraged to ‘express’ ourselves more, yet our actual, genuine emotional reactions are usually deemed ‘innapropiate’ or ‘unnescessary’.
- We’re told to be friendly and confident when approaching new people, but are then warned that we ‘come off too strong’.
- We are told to try and make interesting conversation, but are also taught that speaking about our interests will only ever annoy other people.
- We’re asked to explain our difficulties and anxieties, only to be told that these explanations ‘make no sense’ or that our worries are unrealistic and invalid.
- We’re expected to force ourselves in to social situations that feel overwhelming and draining yet still somehow remain friendly, good-tempered and pleasantly sociable.
- We are encouraged to develop good self-esteem, while at the exact same time being taught that everything about us is wrong.
I don’t hate having autism - I’ve never hated having autism. But I do hate living with the never-ending pressure to attain this mythological ‘perfect’ level of social interaction that simply doesn’t exist in my case.
-We are told to use coping mechanism when we need them, but when we implement them we’re told to stop, act appropriately, and push through the situation “normally”.
- We’re told to pursue our creative passions, because according to diagnostic stereotypes we’re not supposed to have them, but when we prove adept and imaginative at making art, we’re dismissed as having unreasonable fixations, escapist tendencies, and wasting our time on producing content that has no value in capitalist terms. And even if we do make some money off our creative pursuits—unless we’re one of the infinitesimal percentage of creators who make millions—we’re told it’s not and never will be a real job.
…this is so depressingly true that I’m going to sit here, read it again, and pout autistically for a while. Until my ADHD brain sees something shinier.
I mean… I try so hard and get so far, but in the end it doesn’t really matter… and if I said anything more I’d be a whole Linkin Park song. But I try, I really do. It just doesn’t work out unless the people I’m interacting with are either part of a neurotribe or at least understand the issues.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the whole art nouveau thing, but I’d like to take a step back and analyze how the aesthetic should reflect the movement. While it is nice to have an end goal in mind, the message should be “We need to work together so the earth doesn’t become uninhabitable in our lifetime.” and not “Hey, pretty pictures of green cityscapes, but also here’s the message based around a few different political philosophies that you have to look into.”
In short I’m saying, we need to put the punk firmly in solarpunk so it reflects upon the movement as one with ideas and ideals as opposed to overly utopian in nature. A nice change would be moving away from cityscapes and focusing on architecture that feels handmade, adding in the punk principle of DIY into the aesthetic while also keeping the greenery would make something totally unique and reflect the movement better than the current iteration does. Changing the aesthetic would also drive home the point that we’re constantly evolving as a movement, constantly growing and changing.
As I’ve said before, with growth comes new challenges. If we want our message to be fully understood and not just ogled at because it’s bright and pretty, we need to make it easier to understand off the bat and not as easy to twist into something harmful where someone could say “If [X group] weren’t around, we could have this future!” Visuals are a powerful medium, we sincerely want them to reflect our intent as well as provide a message that we’re not going away, ever. So now, I ask you artists to rethink the future of this look and imagine one which is more akin to a cobbled together house with solar panels and a water pump out front as opposed to a green apartment complex in a retrofitted city. One of these is achievable in our lifetime and I know you know which one.
That’s all for today (tonight really) babes. This has been @punkofsunshine, have a good one and stay safe.
Okay, shit, I never expected this to blow up like it did, I would like to add a few things.
Thing number one, (basically a summary) yes the art-nouveau thing has its place, it’s nice to have an end goal in mind, but right now we have to think pragmatically and semi-realistically otherwise the movement won’t go anywhere and will be stuck in fantastical visions of the future. We must be fluid and shape the movement into something we want to see it become, a pathway for the future.
Thing number two, thank you so much for all the constructive criticism and additions to the post. It’s really helped spread a message in the solarpunk community (at least on Tumblr) and builds a bigger platform for people with similar ideas to stand on. It’s extremely helpful for stay at home activists like myself (not that I don’t want to participate in direct action, but I have a job and nothing happens in rural Illinois) these blog posts are the best way for me to express myself as a neurodivergent person. Most of the time it’s incredibly hard for me to put my thoughts into words in an eloquent way until I start writing.
That’s all for this little addition babes, have a good rest of your day/night.
What was your first special interest? Funniest one?
I think this is going to be hilarious so please share. For me I honestly have no idea but it was probably Dora the Explorer. Of course we didn’t have cable in those days so I watched the same 2 episodes on vhs over and over and over and had to get my “backpack” before my parents started the tape and if I couldn’t find it in time I would freak out lol. I watched Dora more casually until I was pretty old too- like 8 or 9- until a “friend” dissed it in front of me saying that it was boring and just the same thing over and over again.
I was also obsessed with a dvd of Bear in the Big Blue House at one point. The goodbye song still gives me warm fuzzies lol.
My funniest childhood obsession was probably acorns when I was four or five. I had a huge bag of acorns that I wanted to carry everywhere and loved to sort them and collect them and hold them and stare at them lol.
Free App Alert- Time Timer Mobile (iOS and android)
The official Time Timer app has temporarily gone free due to the pandemic. Analogous to the physical time timers. It is available for iOS (separate iPhone and iPad versions) and on the google play store.
Just letting you all know that I’m rooting for you during this difficult time.
These circumstances are causing massive amounts of uncertainty and sudden forced changes in routine which as you all know are very difficult for autistic people. Contamination OCD may be going through the roof. Anxiety about the health of our parents and those close to us.
Please know that as much as this absolutely sucks I’m here for you. Let me know if there’s anything I can do- and if not know that I’m keeping my autistic family in my heart during these times. <3 <3 <3
ALT