#betreyal
Him | 5
Make Me Choose
Chapter Five
Elizabeth
-
I think the saddest people are the ones who always try to make everyone feel included and loved, because they know how miserable it is to feel utterly worthless and alone. So they try their best every damn day to assure that no one else ever has to feel that way. My dad and I are best friends, I look after him and he looks after me.
For a long time money has been tight and the stress just piled onto me throughout the years, so when my dad least expects it I like to sneak away to parties to hang with people I have no intentions of talking to again.
When I burst into the gym the other night I had no idea Hunter would be there. The party I was at got crashed by people that weren’t invited and a fight broke out. A gun was shot off and my vision blacked out- I just ran until my legs eventually started to give out. The gym was my safe haven… it was the closest place I could hide. I thought Hunter may have been one of the guys that showed up at the party and followed me into the gym, that’s why I was so terrified when he tackled me to the floor. As much as I hate to admit it, when I realised it was Hunter I immediately felt safe. He has this undying loyalty for my dad and I knew he would have protected me if he needed too.
I’m not a bad person, I am just a very stressed person who struggles to find ways to wind down. I don’t smoke and I have never really liked drinking alcohol… but when I surround myself with people that are a little bit like me, it brings me comfort.
We are all just people made up of broken pieces.
-
The bookcase is ornate, as if carved by someone with a profound love for literature. The engravings are of leaves, of autumn berries and birds with spanned out wings- so sublime as if to invite the fingers to take in the art just as much as the eyes.
The musky smell of old worn pages fill my nostrils and upon the shelves that line the library walls are the rainbow spines of a banquet of books. The ink filled pages hold stories greater than real life, stories that are able to take you from one universe to the next. I often find myself lost in the world of words, picturing myself a happy ending where everything is still and calm.
My ending would be peaceful- alone in a field with the love of my life, we are laughing and talking and messing around.. we would be gazing up at the bright sunny sky and that is where my story would end. I’d be happy…
The clock strikes 7 p.m. and I have never been happier to leave the library. After school hours I work shifts at the local library not too far from the college campus, the pay isn’t extortionate but it does help my dad and I on a rainy day. I usually help reorganise the shelves into genre and dust and polish the bookcases, it is time consuming but it keeps me busy… I like to be busy. It keeps my mind from wandering to places it shouldn’t.
Winter air engulfs me in an unwanted embrace and I am so thankful for the gloves that cover my fingers and the grey beanie that is pulled across my scalp. I yank my coat tighter around my torso, clinging onto any sort of warmth that I can. I head for home, my father and I haven’t been very lucky in life- sure, our house is small and boringly decorated but it is better than being homeless. We are just thankful that my mother signed the house over to us before she passed away…
My dear mother.
I never got the chance to meet her… she died giving birth to me. Pictures of her and my father litter the walls of our house but that is the closest thing I have to remembering her. Crumbs… literal crumbs of what was once an amazing human being. My father has always said that I have her smile, and that I definitely have her personality. He would joke about how much of a perfectionist I am and knowing that my mother was the same brings me some sort of comfort.
I sigh out softly and allow my eyes to scan my surroundings analytically. Paranoia begins to seep into my brain and I choose to walk a little faster. This city is dangerous and I have to be aware of what monsters may be sneaking around in the shadows.. Luckily for me I’m only around 7 minutes away from my house. I walk this route every day, day in and day out, and each time it gets a little bit quicker. The music buzzing through my headphones never really seems to last as long as it used too.
When I was little my dad tried to get me into boxing but I just couldn’t take to the sport. As a little girl I was more interested in sparkly ponies with bright coloured hair and barbie dolls, not sweaty boxing gloves and punching bags. I regret not taking him up on his offer, I know that if I did I would feel a whole lot more secure walking home alone…
Instead of him trying to force me into something I hated he would take me ice skating every Friday after school. He would pick me up from the school courtyard and we would just drive straight to the ice rink. It was the highlight of my week… but when I started highschool it just stopped. He got more occupied with business and I tried to understand. Disappointment became a regular occurrence in my life and I learned the art of independence. I went off on my own and I stopped relying on others for company… I taught myself how to not need anyone.
I push forth through the chilling wind and eventually I am met with my front door. I hear my father chuckle loudly from inside and brush it off, blaming it on the fact that he may be watching something funny on the television. Before I enter inside I kick my shoes off from my feet and step into the warmth of my house- only for my ears to be met by the laughter of one other person. He is here with someone.
“Hey, sweetie! We’re in the kitchen!” My dad booms loudly as he catches his breath from laughing so hard and I remain silent as I stalk my way through the living room and into the kitchen.
We?
“You remember, H…” My eyes land on the lean brunette who is sitting in my spot at the dining table and I nod, smiling briefly.
“How could I forget?” I peek around my fathers frame and notice that the stove is cold.. “I thought we were going to eat when I got home?” My eyebrows soften as disappointment seeps into my chest. He hasn’t done this before… I’ve gotten used to my father disappointing me with certain things but this is new and it hurts.
“Shit.” He brings his fingertips up to press the crease between his eyebrows, his eyes are closed tightly with frustration, “I forgot. I’m sorry, El… ” His eyes land on me and I allow my shoulders to slump as I physically relax at the sound of my nickname. I know how busy he can get sometimes… especially when he and Hunter get together.
“It’s fine, Dad… Why don’t you throw something on now while I go and take a shower?” I drop my book bag down onto the kitchen table and I can feel Hunter’s eyes following each move I make. He is such a weirdo. My stomach clenches with hunger and I clear my throat to mask the grumble that comes from it. I ate breakfast this morning but other than that I haven’t eaten anything else… I’m starving.
“I could give you some cash… I think Mr. Peterson’s store is still open. You can grab something from there.” I watch closely as he plunges his hand into his coat pocket and I find myself questioning why he still has his jacket on. Is he planning on leaving? Why is Hunter even here?
“And what about you? Won’t you be eating anything?” He hands me a ten dollar bill and I take it from him hesitantly, frowning slightly as I await his answer.
“Not tonight, Honey. Hunter and I have some errands to run.” My jaw flexes at the mention of Hunter’s name and I let my eyes flicker to the tattooed asshole seated in the corner. He is already staring at me and he spares me a smug smile- a look that say ‘fuck you and eat by yourself’.
“Brilliant.” I snap, frowning deeply and turning on my heels to head out of the kitchen. My father’s feeble attempts to call my name go unnoticed and I am persistent to continue on with my rant.
I bound up the staircase, stomping my feet purposely hard on each step that I walk up until I reach the top. I know I am overreacting but I just can’t control the anger bubbling up inside of me. It’s not just anger, it is hatred and hurt. I slam my bedroom door closed and pace around the floor. I can hear the muffled sound of Hunter and my dad talking down the stairs which only aggravates me more. The ignorance of that man makes me want to scream- and I am not talking about my father. Hunter knows exactly what he is doing, he is pushing me and pushing me because he knows that he has something to hold over my head. Something he can easily tell my dad. I can’t react to him in the way I want to, not when my dad is present anyways, and he is aware of this. Why can’t he just piss off and interfere with someone else’s family?
I grab a pillow from my bed and whack it against the wall. Urgh! I hate him. He has gotten his stupid nails wedged so deeply between my father and I that there is literally nothing I can do about it. About him. My dad is treating him like he is a part of this family- like he is the son he never got to have. Fucking Morales.
Epinephrine floods my bloodstream and I try to control my sharp and fast breaths. Life was fucking great before that idiot showed up. I never got caught doing anything- I could do as I please without consequences but now that has all changed. Hunter has crashed into me like a meteor strike and my life is in diabolic ruins. He needs to go… or something has to change. I need to know more about him, where he came from and how long he intends on fucking around.
Concentrated and calm I head back down to the kitchen, walking in at what seems to be the perfect moment, “Coach, I can’t drive- well, I can but I don’t want to. There is no way you can take us because you’ve already had one too many beers. Let’s just wait until morning-” An idea rockets into my mind and I step further into the room.
“I’ll take you. I’m sure you are a delight to spend a couple of hours with.” Hunter shoots me a questioning look at my sarcastic tone and I shrug my shoulders. This is the only opportunity I have to get a bit more information about him and I’ll take whatever chance I can get.
“Meet you out front in 5 minutes.” I give both of the boys a tight lipped smile before I head to the front of the house. Luckily my shoes are easy to slip on and I am outside in the matter of seconds. I juggle the car keys in my hand before I click the small black button to unlock the vehicle. It is a silver Toyota Prius, the 2010 model. It isn’t the flashiest car in the world but it is cheap to run and the maintenance isn’t too bad. It gets us to where we need to be so I’m not complaining.
I slip into the driving seat and immediately I turn on the air conditioning, setting the dial to hot as I try and warm the car up a little bit. Hot air blasts through the vents and I relax into the padded seat. With the corner of my eye I see something dark charge towards the car, and I barely have time to realise it is Hunter before he is diving into the passenger seat. A scowl rests heavily on his face and I smile at him.
“What is your problem?” He asks harshly but I simply ignore him and I turn my head away from him to look out onto the dark road in front of us. We haven’t even left my house yet and he is already talking too much. Shoving the key into the ignition keyhole I turn the key to start the engine. It takes two tries but eventually the engine roars to life. I shift the stick into gear and we speed off into the night. Hunter’s breath catches in his throat and I glance at him vaguely.
“Put your seatbelt on, Elizabeth.” I look down at myself, only now realising that I actually don’t have the protective belt strapped across my body. Doing as he asks, and for my own safety, I clip the belt into place. Clearly it puts Hunter at ease as he is now not tensing up like he was before.
“Where are we heading?” I ask with both hands slackly gripping the steering wheel I keep my eyes trained on the road, reading any road signs that flash up at me and sticking to the speed limit.
“Uh…” Hunter hesitates for a brief moment, clearly wracking his brain for the answer, “Think he mentioned something about picking up some paperwork from a few towns over. A guy named Nathaniel is going to meet me with it.”
“Hmm, okay.” I reply back and nod my head in agreement. There is some common ground between us… for now, anyways.
“So… when will you be abandoning ship then? A couple of weeks from now or-?” I watch as Hunter’s face wrinkles with both confusion and distaste. I go on to say, “Just because no one sticks around forever, ya know? You seem like one of those guys that just goes wherever they please.” My blows are hidden by the neutral tone in my voice but that doesn’t stop Hunter from overreacting- as always.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” He almost growls and I grip my fingers tighter around the steering wheel, my knuckles turning an icy shade of white. The air is beginning to feel thick between us already and I don’t know if I should blame myself or the air conditioning but I don’t stop.
“Don’t you have a family of your own?” instead of trying to steal mine, is what I want to say but I don’t. For a moment his features darken and I feel a pang of regret hit my chest. Maybe I’m being crazy and harsh… maybe he is just a boxer and my dad is just his coach.
“You know fucking nothing about me, blondie.” He fires back lowly after some time and I gulp down a growl.
“Stop calling me blondie!” I yell, totally enraged at his lack of interest in my questions. He doesn’t seem to care that I am asking him these things, but he is being ignorant with his answers.
“Would you shut up and quit yelling, I can’t even hear myself losing the will to live.” I turn my head to him and the look on his face sends me flying over the edge. I grind my teeth uncomfortably tight and glare at the road passing us by.
“Kiss my ass.”
Hunter releases a gravelly laugh and I breathe out heavily, trying to calm my raging inner emotions. I don’t think I can even stand to be in this car with him for much longer, but this was my idea. Maybe I do make bad decisions…
To my right, Hunter starts to dig around blindly in the glove compartment of the car and I glance between him and the road a couple of times, both confused and a little bit angry that he is mindlessly going through our things, “What the hell are you doing? Stop touching stuff that isn’t yours!” With one of my hands I reach for him over the centre consol and struggle to close the compartment whilst also keeping control of the moving vehicle.
“Chill out, I’m just looking for some CD’s.” He carelessly remarks and I scoff.
“You’re going to make me crash!” I say seriously and Hunter freezes. His entire body comes to stiffly sit in place and I retract my hand from his side of the car and focus back on the road. His breathing becomes gripped and deprived and I look at him worriedly. What is up with him?
“Thank yo-“ I go to say.
“Stop the car.” He pants harshly and I can hear the panic entwined in his voice.
“I can’t just stop the car, moron, we are on a highway-” I try to argue back but he frightens me by doing something that nearly sends me spinning off of the road.
“I said stop the fucking car, Elizabeth!!” He reaches across the console and grabs at the steering wheel. I scream and push his hands away forcefully, my heart and mind racing frantically. We swerve from left to right and I feel my body begin to shake.
"OKAY! OKAY!” I wail loudly and pull over to an empty spot on the side of the busy road. Hunter is fast to unclip his seatbelt and plummet out of the car and I instantly follow behind him, basically falling out of the driver’s seat. He nearly got us both killed!
Furious, I open my mouth to scream at him but what I see stops me right in my tracks. Hunter is curled over on the ground, his hands are pressed flat against the floor and his fingers are splayed out across the concrete. I can see the rapid movement of his back muscles as he breathes in and out briskly. He is having a panic attack. It is painful and scary to watch him lose control of himself.He needs someone… and I am the only one here.
I crouch down next to him and place a caring hand on his buff shoulder, letting him know that he is not alone and that I am here for him, whilst also leaving some distance between us both, “Hunter…” My voice is quiet against the roar of the traffic and my chest tightens when his teary eyes meet mine. Impassiveness shrinks his irises as terror gleams through his forest green eyes and he rises up from his knees and to his feet, “Don’t.” He says coldly, “Just don’t.” There is a warning behind his words and I respect his boundaries.
Maybe I went too far.
You | 3
Make Me Choose
Chapter Three
Hunter
-
Classes come in go in agonisingly slow waves and by the end of the day I am absolutely done for. My feet ache and I feel as though I am moments away from collapsing. Exhaustion is an underestimate to describe exactly how I am feeling right now. I’ve been sitting at the bottom of a metaphoric swimming pool for a while now just trying to drown the thoughts out.
Some days are better than others but that doesn’t stop the ache in my chest. No one knows about what happened last year… I intend on keeping it that way.
“You’re dead on your feet!” Coach yells at me and I contemplate on telling him to fuck off, however I remember how good his intentions are and decide to keep the vulgar language to myself.
I’m back at the gym and am standing in front of a massive punching bag that is hung from the ceiling beams by a strong metal chain. Whilst I was out at my classes it seems that the roof has thankfully been repaired. My knuckles are beginning to cramp the more I swing into the heavy bag of sand.
“I’m tired, Coach.” I hiss back quietly and allow my forehead to rest against the cool leather material of the swaying bag in front of me but he manages to hear each word I say. He drops some training pads to the floor and heads towards me, there is a look of sympathy on his face but I ignore it.
“Life is tiring, H. You are always going to be tired- whether it be in the ring or at school. It’s all about how you recover. How personal are you willing to take it? How far are you willing to go for what you truly want?” His words of encouragement sink into my brain and something inside of me stirs. He’s right. I need to get my shit together.
I pull as much energy as I can from my numb upper arms and lay two weighty punches into the swaying bag, smirking lightly as the supportive chain rattles above my head after each of my rapid blows.
“That’s more like it!” Glen chirps and I roll my eyes before totally fixating on the bag ahead of me, “Keep moving your feet, kid.” Coach adds and I silently nod. For now, this bag is my opponent. Someone who is trying to take something away from me… and I just can’t let that happen.
I feel my knuckles begin to wrench with tension the more I pound into the bag and the back of my t-shirt is soaked through with sweat. I silently decide that maybe it’s time for some weight lifting instead, I need to train everywhere I can and it’s good to keep my routine exciting. I know I am tired but sleep and rest just isn’t an option. Just as I swipe my water bottle up from the ground and head towards the benching station a loud sound spells from the front of the gym, announcing someone’s arrival and my body turns rigid-
In walks the blonde girl from class. I never did catch her name but all I can seem to ponder is why the fuck is she in my gym. In class her hair was pulled back in a neat ponytail but now it is fully down, soft and fluffy ringlets frame her face. She looks so much more relaxed now.
Is she here to see me?
“Dad! Are you here? I can’t seem to find my house key and I need to borrow yours…” She loudly sing songs and I feel my eyebrows pull together with confusion.
Dad? Who is her father? And where is he?
My eyes shift from her as I scan the gym floor and I am met with emptiness. Everyone has either gone home for the day or they will show up later tonight for some late night sessions.
I look back to her with narrowed eyes. Coach emerges from the locker rooms, his eyes concentrate on the girl and I feel my throat turn dry. He steps out further and walks close to her and that is when realisation hits me like a tonne of bricks. Holy shit…
I blink slowly. Seeing them standing together I see the resemblance immediately. They both share the same deep toned eyes and almost the exact shape of sharp eyebrows. The only difference between the pair are their faces. The girl has long and dark eyelashes- they don’t have the same nose or lip structure either. Coach is fairly short so it is pretty amusing to see that the height runs in the family.
“Sure thing, sweetheart. The keys are in my backpack by the door. Help yourself.” Glen flashes her one of his signature ‘fatherly’ smiles as he tightens the straps on his training pads that cover his hands. I wish the ground would swallow me whole right here, right now.
She is Coach’s daughter.
My heart sinks to my stomach as I meet her gaze for only a moment, everything about her seems so gentle- her eyes are warm, unlike earlier, and in a way that would keep me from ever feeling cold again… but it doesn’t take long for that to change.
“Ay, Hunter! Get over here. There is someone I want you to meet.” Fuck. I want to act like I didn’t hear him, I want to turn around and exit through the fire escape but before I can even contemplate my own thoughts I am walking towards the pair. I refuse to make eye contact with blondie, god knows what she is capable of and I intend on continuing to train at this gym.
She jingles her keys in her hands and the sound irritates me, “H, meet my daughter Elizabeth.” Elizabeth… It’s good to finally put a name to her face, “Elizabeth, this is Hunter- also known as H.” My eyes find her face and I quietly suck in a breath, keeping it lodged in my throat. I hope- I pray that she will keep her pretty little mouth fucking shut. Coach can’t know about how I humiliated her earlier. Yes, it was only a debate but I left her nauseous with anger. He would be so disappointed if he knew that we have already met…
Her face shifts and she throws a hand out towards me and I flex my jaw, tensing it tightly as I try to put the pieces of this messed up situation together, “It’s nice to meet you. My dad talks about you all the time… it’s cool to finally know who he is constantly raving about.” Her bitter words are masked with a smile and I clasp my hand firmly around hers but I don’t bother to say anything until Glen walks off into another room.
“You.” I insinuate lowly, My lips twitch down into a frown as I glare down at her. She stares back at me, a secret confidence radiating from her. I pause for a moment, remembering that this is my coach’s daughter and that she deserves some sort of respect. For fuck sake.
“Thanks… for not saying anything.” I sigh in a quiet tone, letting my guard down briefly so I can actually thank her properly for not ratting me out in front of her father.
“Get fucked.” I stiffen, taken completely by surprise by her dirty mouth. Instantly my guard flies up and I step towards her, a smirk toying on my lips.
“If that’s what you want, blondie, why wouldn’t you just ask?” Her furious glare deepens on her face and I bring my hand to teasingly graze her cheek which she immediately swats away. Anger flares her nostrils and I chuckle loudly as she storms off to find her father.
My gaze hits the ceiling as I lay myself back onto the weight bench, my fingers curl around the cold metal bar and I lift it from its stand. I lift the heavy weight up and over my torso and chest, instantly feeling the familiar burn of my muscles. My thoughts are hazy and unclear. My palms are slightly sweaty and my heart is racing inside of my chest. I am fucking reeling.
1.. 2.. breathe.. 3.. 4.. breathe. The pattern repeats itself over and over in my head. I try to build a decent momentum, keeping my pace steady and slow. Shallow puffs of breath leave my mouth and I try to refrain from groaning as the lifting gets a little bit harder. I need some food.
I pause, setting the weightlifting bar back onto it’s rack before I rise up to my feet. My muscles are screaming, “Coach… I’m going to grab a bite to eat. You want anything?” I take a long swig of water from my water bottle and Glen’s face hardens with engrossment.
“Fuck it. I’ll have a cheeseburger with some fries. Do you want anything, El?” He turns to the girl I now know as Elizabeth and her gaze meets the ground- full of embarrassment.
“I’m fine. I already ate.” Her voice is emotionless but I am no fool- I can tell she is lying. I don’t know what her problem is but I hope she sorts it out fast.
“Suit yourself.” I keep my tone cold and unbothered. I could give less of a shit about this girl’s problems. Part of me wants to care, considering she is Glen’s daughter after all, but that part of me is always shut down… It’s been a long time since I was able to feel sorry for someone. I’m not starting now. I’ve developed this perfect thick armour that has helped me get over a lot of shit throughout the years- I have kind of lost sense of what is really important to me but people do what they have to in order to survive.
“Strawberry or vanilla shake? With your burger.” My eyes shift across the room to Glen who folds his arms across his chest. I smirk childishly, “You know damn well that I only like the strawberry one.” He grumbles like an old man and I snicker softly, grabbing my wallet from my bag I dart for the front of the gym. I hear Glen’s protests behind me as he tries to offer me cash for his meal but I am out the door before he gets the chance to hand me manything.
“I’ll be back in 20, don’t miss me too much.” I tease and straight away the horrid temperatures from outside hit my warm skin, coating me in a blanket of goosebumps.
Fucking hell it’s cold.
The restaurant I enter feels as if I have walked into a dreamland, the happy chatter, the delicious fragrances, the easy and natural colours. I can already tell that I will be returning here again.
I put in our orders and stand by whilst I wait for our food to be brought to me, only now do I realise that I haven’t eaten all day. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own head and don’t really focus on looking after myself… I should start working on that.
A stressed wrinkle creases my forehead and I shove my hands into my pockets. I haven’t been waiting long but my patience is wearing thin. It can’t possibly take that long to throw a fucking burger together.
A man walks towards me, dressed in all black attire. He must work here, “Order 15?” He asks and I nod. He hands me a white plastic bag filled with styrofoam containers, the steam from the hot food is causing condensation to plague the inside of the bag. He also hands me a cup holder which is helping to steady two large take-out cups. I struggle to juggle it all but I manage.
“Thank you.” I add quietly before stepping away from the man and heading towards the front of the restaurant. I pass by multiple faces but I don’t seem to recognise a single one until…
Mom?
It takes me a moment to fully recollect my thoughts and actually realise who the lady is. Francesca Morales. My heart stammers in my chest and I quickly bolt for the exit before I collapse from the electricity that is vibrating through my jelly-like legs all while passing by her table and avoiding her gaze as best as I can. She doesn’t seem to notice me but I definitely notice her. My ears are pounding alongside my jackhammer heartbeat and I stare at her through the restaurant window. Her mouth is sloped up into a soft smile and her green eyes are bright with white eyeshadow. She looks happy… happier.
I wonder if she is dating again. The thought alone makes my stomach twist into an uncomfortable knot. I don’t expect her to be miserable forever but it just seems so soon for her to start to move on. For a moment I visualise myself talking to her again but then I remember how suddenly I just left. I left her on her own… I left her to cope with grief alone and I know that is not easy to forgive.
I turn away from the window and force myself to start walking down the sidewalk. She is moving on with her life and if me not being in it makes her happier then so fucking be it. I don’t need her… just like I don’t need anyone.
Glen’s gym lights step into my vision and I smile at the sight. There is something so 'homey’ about the building… or maybe it is just the people inside that make it feel that way.
“Who’s ready to eat?” I chime as I push through the glass doors, Coach rises to his feet and a massive smile graces his face, “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse!” He chuckles wholeheartedly and I embrace the sound. Glen is a very comforting character to be around, I don’t ever have to put my guard up around him.
I snap back to my senses, recalling that he has his own family and his own child to worry about… speaking of the devil, where is she?
Spite begins to bubble up my throat as my eyes land on Elizabeth. She is sitting away from us in the far corner by one of the massive windows, a book is laid neatly on her lap as her fingertips gently skim the pages. A strong hatred irks my chest and I force myself to look away from her. I can feel my insides turning to concrete.
She has no idea how fucking lucky she is.
“Everything okay?” Glen asks from my side, noticing my discomfort he pauses his attack on his french fries and I nod my head, “Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?” I fire back a little harshly and he shrugs his shoulders before shoving a massive bite of his cheeseburger into his mouth, reminding me that I have my own food to eat.
My assignment drifts into my train of thought and I gulp down the sourness on my tongue. If I am going to have it handed in on time I will have to start reading and writing tonight.
I’m already tired and the night is still young. Let’s hope this food gives me the energy boost I need.
Since I have multiple chapters already written for Make Me Choose I am going to upload more… so stay tuned! Chapter One and Chapter Two are already up!!
Hook | 2
Make Me Choose
Chapter Two
Hunter
-
Both of my gloved hands shoot up to cover my face as one of Coach Douglas’s old friends -Manny- throws another punch towards my head. I side step, managing to just barely block the blow. The gym has been overbearingly busy lately, after word spread about Titanium’s defeat men just began to flood in, asking Glen for his expertees. He is making money now, and a lot of it, however I just can’t seem to shake the annoyance that comes with a crowded room. I can’t concentrate like I used to and it’s all the commotion that is to blame.
The men are hungry for victory. They are young and stupid… we even had a boy sign up at the fresh age of only thirteen. The gym reeks of testosterone and it is competitive. We all want to prove ourselves, but I think it is clear who the real champion is here.
“C'mon, H! Watch his technique. Where is his power coming from?” Glen’s voice booms from the other side of the gym and I silently nod my head in response. I have been dancing around this ring with Manny for what feels like hours. Manny is an absolute mammoth of a man. He isn’t much older than I am, maybe in his late 20’s. He was one of Coach’s best fighters until he hung up his gloves and took a more practical approach towards making a living… I think he mentioned that he works in finance but I really wasn’t paying attention. Whatever he said, it was fucking boring.
We move in a tedious but tense circle and Manny throws a right hook however I duck my head and dodge the assault with ease. Our eyes are focused only on one another whilst other people clatter around outside of the ring. There has been a lot of rain recently which has resulted in a leak, causing a gaping hole to rip through the interior of the gym roof. Glen has bagged a bit more cash so today it is finally getting fixed.
I lunge my body forward, swinging my arm around and knocking Manny in the side of the head. He stumbles to the side, obviously caught off guard by the sudden action.
“Oooh… you’re lucky I like you, kid.” Manny warns as he shakes a finger at me and I shrug my shoulders smugly.
“Yes, finally!” I hear Coach roar over the noise and I grin. Thankfully we are both wearing head guards or Manny may be on the floor knocked out right now.
“He got fucking lucky!” Manny shouts back at Glen in an attempt to protest and I shake my head whilst chuckling lightly. It’s around 7 a.m. and I have classes soon. I shimmy my head guard from my scalp with a groan and allow my wild hair to bounce back into place.
“Leaving already, princess?” Manny pipes up and I shoot him a quick glare.
“I have class in thirty minutes, dip-shit. Don’t make me waste my time and put you on your ass.” I teasingly warn and both Manny and I chuckle.
“When can I expect you back?” Glen asks as I jump down from the stage of the ring. I contemplate my answer for a moment as I go over all of my college subjects in my head.
English literature… then it’s musical history… after that it’s physical education and to end the day it’s photography study.
“I’ll be back here this afternoon. Don’t have much to do today.” I bring my hands up to my mouth as I bite the velcro straps from around my wrists and shake the sweaty gloves onto the floor in front of me.
“Better get a move on then, you don’t have long before classes start.” Glen looks down at a small watch that compliments his thick wrist. The straps are thin and a worn out colour of mahogany brown. The small face of the clock has a crack across the glass. I raise a brow in slight suspicion, how would he know when lectures begin?
“Yeah, yeah. I know.” I throw my heavy duffle bag over my shoulder and head towards the double glass doors of the gym which is both the entrance and the exit, “Don’t let anyone touch my shit when I’m gone!” I call over my shoulder loud enough for the other trainees to hear me as I step out onto the busy streets of downtown New York. I can never get enough of the aura that this city continuously brings. It’s so full of life… so full of people trying their best to achieve their goals- to reach their dreams. If I am certain about one thing it is that no one comes to New York for no reason. Everyone here is chasing up their own purpose… I myself included.
My walk from the gym to the campus is tiresome but I have to shower quickly before classes begin. I managed to snag a locker at the beginning of the semester so thankfully I don’t have to drag around my duffel bag for the entire day. I can’t wait until next fall, when I’m done here for good. Then I can really focus on what is important.
Some of the earlier students are seated in the social hub of the campus but I take a left turn down a stranded hallway to avoid any unwanted attention. It’s embarrassing enough that I have to shower here, let alone the fact that I’m carrying my entire life around in a single bag.
I take another left turn and jog up the fire exit staircase, entering through some double doors and into the Physical Education department. Usually the locker rooms are kept locked and the only way to get inside is to have a key but I’ve noticed that the one furthest to the end of the corridor has a faulty lock so naturally I always use that one.
Each locker room has singular shower cubicles for students to access after every gym lesson and I thank my lucky stars as I walk into the changing room and discover that it is empty. I’m not sure how long I am going to be able to get away with this but it doesn’t hurt to push my luck a little bit. I make sure the door is barricaded by something before I start to get on with my morning routine. I brushed my teeth earlier this morning after I ate breakfast so that is one less thing I need to incorporate.
In the shower the water comes as a soothing cascade, as if I am within a pair of arms that flow and hug my skin gently. Taking a shower is taking some time for myself, life is always so busy and chaotic so it’s good to recenter and feel some of my calm nature return.
My bruised knuckles strain beneath the hot water as the shower head beats against my inked body. The deep tension I once felt begins to leak away from my muscles the longer I stand beneath the scolding vapour. I approximately have 5 minutes of hot water left before the stream will run cold.
I smear soap across my pale skin and douse my dark hair in both shampoo and conditioner. I’ve heard girls bitch about the importance of not using a 2-in-1 shampoo so I started making an effort with my hair routine. I trace my fingers over a massive bruise located on my abdomen. It’s hidden beneath a dark image of a snake that I got tattooed when I was only 16, for it being one of the first tattoos I ever got it is still pretty fucking cool.
I shut the shower off and pat my skin dry, pulling on a plain black t-shirt over my head. I curse aloud at the sight of a large rip near the collar. I completely forgot about it.
It happened when I got jumped one night, back when I used to fuck around with girls for fun. I turned down a girl and she spread a rumour about me, saying how I am a pig and that I apparently tried to force myself onto her. Word spread fast and even after proving these allegations wrong some sketchy guys tried to pick a fight with me. They grabbed my t-shirt and in the process they ripped it at the seam… but they got what they deserved. Besides, the rip adds to my character.
I spray some deodorant beneath my shirt and buckle up my black jeans. I forgot to bring an extra pair of shoes with me to the gym so I settle for my beat up black and white converse which I usually use for training. They are flat soled and they support my ankles so they are pretty ideal for sparring sessions however they don’t look the prettiest.
I remove the barricade from the locker room door and head to my first class of the day which is English Literature at 8:15. Usually the class starts at 8 but I am running a little bit late. I push open the heavy door to the large room and watch as row after row of students turn their heads to look at me. I allow the door to swing and loudly slam closed behind me. What can I say, I’ve always had a flair for the dramatic.
“Morales, late again?” Professor Amber bring’s the entire class to a halt as she greets me. I can tell with the tone of her voice that she is intending to make me uncomfortable- little does she know I am actually a little bit of an attention whore.
“Sorry bout’ that.” I groan out sarcastically as I throw myself down onto one of the padded seats a few spaces from a girl I am unfamiliar with. Her fresh scent reaches my nostrils and I tilt my head to discreetly snatch a look at her. Her light brown eyebrows are pulled together softly with what I assume is concentration and her soft pink lips are pinched together. I trail my greens eyes up further, allowing my vision to explore her appearance fully until I meet her deep blue hues. I try not to stare but it’s proven to be extremely difficult. It isn’t until her line of vision finally meets my own that I eventually manage to pull my gaze away from her.
My ears perk up involuntarily at the displeased scoff that comes from the girl’s direction next to me. It takes absolutely everything in me to bite my tongue and not ask her what her fucking problem is. It’s clear that she may be hot but she is a stuck up bitch. She is dressed like a prude but I bet it doesn’t take much to get into her frilly little panties. She is probably one of those girls that pretend to be innocent so they can live out their twisted ‘good girl, bad boy’ fantasy. Fucking weirdo.
“Assignments are due on Friday, I hope none of you have forgotten.” Professor Amber’s red pen screeches down the massive write board and I grit my teeth at the sound. In bold she writes, 'Friday 18th November’.
Fuck. I idiotically forgot about the entire assignment, I’ve been so invested in training recently it completely slipped my mind. I have a fight coming up and I’m not sure I’ll have time to fit it all in. I know the assignment is a book study of some kind however I’ve not even had the chance to read nor annotate anything yet.
Class seems to boringly drone on until a topic oddly sparks my interest. Maybe it is my need to always dominate a situation that draws me in… or maybe I just like to argue.
“Everyone is seeming a little too comfortable and quiet…” The professor pauses before she continues to say, “How about a debate? Relating to the assignment of course.” She smiles at all of us but her eyes plead that we all just cooperate and make her life a little easier.
“Stephen King. He is one hell of a novelist.” She folds her hands together and gently places herself down onto the edge of her desk at the front of the room, “Was he sexist towards women? Chat amongst yourselves.” Her eyes scan the area before she quickly adds, “But do so respectfully!”
Some of the more introverted students remain silent and the room fills with an eerie awkwardness before…
“Of course he was.” The blonde girl from earlier says a little too loudly and I watch as her cheeks flush with colour as multiple eyes fall onto her, “His novels don’t give women the respect nor treatment they deserve.” She continues on to say matter of factly however I just can’t help but disagree.
“Actually..” I boom, loud enough for everyone else to recognize that it is now me that is speaking, “All of his female leads are portrayed as strong, depicting them as… well, as triumphant.” Some people nod in agreement whilst others turn away from me in utter disgust but I don’t give a fuck. I have read enough Stephen King material to argue this debate out all fucking day.
“The women in his stories are often subject to domestic violence, abuse and harassment. Throughout his books there is, more often than not, some sort of violence portrayed against his female roles.” Blondie fires back at me, her words dripping with hatred and the intent to leave a mark as I watch anger begin to cloud her judgement. Her eyes are already fierce and we have only just started.
Unfortunately for her I am incredibly stubborn and there is not a hope in hell that I am letting her win this fucking argument.
“The women overcome all odds in his books, he is portraying them as strong. Champions. He is clearly just trying to express his adoration for the female race.” I cross my arms across my hard chest and turn my face so I am directly looking at the girl perched next to me. She is on the edge of her seat now, clearly full of adrenaline from our argument. I smirk at her and wonder to myself, if she can get this thrilled over novels imagine how she would react if I slammed her against a wall-
“Adoration?” She asks in disdain, “How can you possibly call that love?” her eyes scorch into mine and I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly in response to her defence.
“It’s not my perception of love. It’s King’s. People accept the love they think they deserve- maybe… just maybe… his idea of love has become distorted over the years. I mean he was heavily addicted to some heavy shit whilst he was writing… he may have been shown how to love in a very different way from you and I.” I straighten my posture, positioning myself in a stance that indicates I am confident with the words that I am speaking, “My question for you, blondie, is- why wouldn’t you call that love?” I allow my words to settle and my face morphes back into it’s natural stone cold expression but all she can seem to do is stare at me, speechless.
“Both are very interesting arguments…” Professor Amber speaks up, sensing the thick tension that is circling throughout the room, “Maybe we can continue this discussion next time?” She suggests with a warm smile, “Now go and put that energy into your assignments! I look forward to reading yours, Mr. Morales.” A loud bell sounds throughout the building, urging us all to head to our next classes.
I stand from my seat and spare the furious blonde girl- who is shoving her books rather viciously into her book bag- one last glance, I even offer her a small smirk to lighten the mood before I then decide to leave her behind. It’s hilarious how easy it is to piss her off.
꧁꧂
A/n: Oooh a conflict already?! How are we feeling about this story so far?
Glazed Eyes, Empty Hearts
My Mind | 17
Hi guys, alot of things changed in my life since the last time i posted something.. I was completely broken. I just couldn’t deal with life anymore. I wandet to die. The person who was most impotant to me in the world had stabbed me in the back. I literally spend the last few weeks/month at home. I didn’t wanted to go out. It was just too much for me to handle. The pain was unbearable and the betrayal was too painful to handle…How could you do this? You know exactly what you’ve done…and you still choose to fuck with my emotion like this. I was done with humanity. I was in so much pain and anger. I lost my mind. It was driven me crazy. I wanted the thoughts to stop but they were getting louder and louder. I wanted to scream from the bottom of my lungs but i couldn’t…You just killed the spark that was keeping me alive.
“I saw the part of you, that only when you’re older you will see too… Well you look like yourself but you’re somebody else, only it ain’t on the surface. Well you talk like yourself but I hear someone else though…You were the better part of every bit of beating heart that I had, whatever I had..I finally sat alone pitch black flesh and bone…”
This song was written for you, you simply broke me and I will never ever forgive you. The sad part is that I will always love you. Loving is hard I get that but this Love almost killed me and for once in my life my thoughts were completely silence and I realized it’s time for me to say goodbye. I had to let you go. This was the sign God was sending me.
I met a guy a few weeks ago. This one guy managed that i can see the light at the end of the tunnel again. He has done things that I could never have imagined with you and that scared the hell out of me. He is the sun on a cloudy day.He is the healer of my pain. He is a god send on my prays. HE saved my life.
HE SAVED ME.
Thank you
- a vision of ecstasy
