The fixation on trying to find a way to use the word “two” in the definition of bisexual is misguided, especially as the bi activists who paved the way for the community were never fixated on the “two” prefix.
It’s also time to stop fixating on the idea that “regardless” means “I don’t see gender” and realise that it’s just a way of saying “gender doesn’t stop me being attracted to them”.
J:Are we ever going to be able to define what bisexuality is? S:Never completely. That’s just it – the variety of lifestyles that we see between us defies definition.
Boston Bisexual Women’s Network Newsletter, January 1984
I am bisexual because I am drawn to particular people regardless of gender. It doesn’t make me wishy-washy, confused, untrustworthy, or more sexually liberated. It makes me a bisexual.
The bisexual community should be a place where lines are erased. Bisexuality dismisses, disproves, and defies dichotomies. It connotes a loss of rigidity and absolutes. It is an inclusive term.
Martin-Damon, K., “Essay for the Inclusion of Transsexuals”. Bisexual Politics. New York: Harrington Park Press. 1995
Gentle reminder that memes and inside jokes relating to human identity, such as race, gender, sexuality, ableness, neurodivergency, etc. don’t always apply to everyone in that ingroup, and if you don’t relate to all the fun jokes in a community, your identity is still valid. People are complex and one person with that identity may not share the same experiences and feelings as another. I think that makes every person so special and a point to be celebrated.
if you don’t think biphobia is real pls unfollow me right now :)
if you think bi women are disgusting for sleeping with men doubly so :)
this was a post on r/truelesbians where op was asking “why are bi women rejected by a lot of lesbians?”
what i think a lot of ppl don’t understand when they call us “bincels” and “rapey” when we call out biphobia is that— we don’t, in fact, want lesbians to date us. not if they’re going to be saying shit like this. it’s the horrible things they say that we criticize.
i feel physically sick reading things like this. and these are p common opinions to have. if you aren’t really confident or secure in your sexuality/identity (which i’m not), you start to internalize these things. it takes a toll on you. the shame and self hatred can get overwhelming sometimes.
and there are ppl who try to say this doesn’t happen, it’s not an actual problem, bi women are just whiny and self victimizing. here is just a fraction of the receipts. there are literally hundreds of posts and comments like this on that sub and other similar subs.
i have always supported lesbians and will continue to support lesbians, and i am grateful to the lesbians who have done the same for me— but ultimately, bi women come first. i haven’t seen things like this on my own dash but if/when i do, i will call it out, even if i am laughed at, insulted, ridiculed, attacked, etc. i try to avoid getting into discourse as much as possible as it’s extremely stressful for me but we need to stand up for ourselves. no one else will.
bi women i love you we are not dirty, impure, tainted or lesser in any way because of our attraction to men regardless of what anyone says. i say that but i even have a hard time accepting it myself.
we are perfect the way we are. we are whole.weareenough
this shit also really just drives home the point that there’s a difference between someone being biphobic and someone just not wanting to date bi people.
just not wanting to date us bc you want to share the experience of being fully homosexual with your partner? perfectly understandable, i prefer to date other bisexual people for that exact reason. not wanting to date us just because you don’t want to, no explanation required? also fine! you don’t have to know why or want to say why, you’re allowed to not date anyone you don’t want to date for any reason.
explicitly stating that you find us disgusting and that you think about us having sex with men constantly and it disgusts you? maybe work that out with a therapist and also leave bi women the fuck alone. and don’t be mad at us when we don’t entertain your biphobia as something valid to think about us :)
this kinda shit is also directed towards lesbians who thought they were bi/generally aren’t ‘gold stars’ for whatever reason. and that’s pretty shitty, too. maybe stop and think about why you thing women who have slept with men are disgusting to you. misogyny and biphobia wrapped into one shitty belief lmao love that.
side note, yes it’s natural to think about who your partner has been with, but if you’re obsessing over it to such a degree that you make yourself nauseated thinking about it, that’s a problem. and if you have sex with us anyway and are actively trying not to think about something that revolts you that much, i would suggest perhaps not doing that and stop being a shitty person. no one deserves to have a sexual partner who thinks they’re gross.
your eyes had met hers six time since both of you had arrived and when the cars sped away, she approached you, “hey.” she said, bumping her shoulder lightly against yours while she stood next to you, “im Toni. i cant help but notice you staring at me.” she joked.
you laughed, “oh yeah? well maybe you were looking at me, ever think of that?” you turned to look at her fully now and she also turned to size you up.
“hmm. interesting. i think you’ll have to convince me though,” her hand came to rest next to yours where it was propped on the car for support, “maybe over milkshakes?”
Beyond happy to have finally found someone I can open up to about my bisexuality and she not only likes it she encourages it! Oh and she’s super hot ❤❤
