Top 5 Passive Aggressive Ways to Deal with Bigotry and Racism
Rant. I really could have used this last night. I was at a party and a grown-ass woman without children was talking about how much she loved the Disney Channel. (I mean, I love the Disney Channel but I’m not a bigot so it’s ok.) She was saying that she liked to put it on and fall asleep to it (so she doesn’t even watch it) because that way if she wakes up in the middle of the night something raunchy isn’t on. Which, ok valid. (But then she said she put the timer on so the tv automatically shuts off so I’m like, that makes it seem like you are not doing what you said and actually just like to watch the Disney Channel.)
Anyway, the point of all of this was to tell us all what she had just heard about Good Luck Charlie. Now, before I say what she said I want to describe the conversation and the trigger that made her think she should tell this story. Her husband was talking about how he hates children so much that he wants to make a cartoon show that looks normal so that the kids get attached to the characters and then kill them all off so that the children cry. So in talking about essentially ruining shows, she chimes in with this gem of a story. Basically, she brings up Good Luck Charlie and I think “oh, no! Are they going to have someone die?” No, something FAR worse. She told us that they were thinking of having one of the characters, are you sitting down?, they were thinking of having one of the characters be GAY. Well, at that point, little homosexual me is sitting there (of course I am sitting right next to her) like “oh, fuck.” As she continues to talk about how this show is just a simple “family friendly” show that has to get all progressive I’m just like “I’m going to pet you little puppy because I don’t think you’re a homophobe.” Then, the person on the other side of me (why I decided to make a homophobic sandwich I’ll never know) goes on to say how TV is ruining families because they have shows with all of these gay people and single parents. Yes, single parents apparently are just as bad as the fags.
I would just like to point out that I am 23, not 87, and I am writing this from the year 2013, not 1952. At this point, though, I’m telling myself “this is what happens when you are friends with Mormons so you really can’t blame anyone but yourself.” But they are not all Mormons, and even if they were, that kind of talk is not acceptable (as I’m sure all of you Tumblr people already know). But, I sat there and said nothing. The thing with comments like these is that the person is just a fucking idiot and thinks that they are saying shit that will crack up the party and then everyone will move on. But, it’s like 18 hours later and I’m ashamed to say that I am not only still thinking about it, but it actually still hurts me. I’m sitting here unable to do my homework (well, I’m not really complaining about that part) mad at myself for not saying anything. Since I would like to move on with my life, I would like to tell you, dear Tumblr, some of the things I would like to have said (because, you know, nothing is better than preaching to the choir.)
1) OH MY GOD! GAY people on Good Luck Charlie??!?!?!1! What is next? [insert minority of choice]? (After blank stares or confusion) Oh, I thought we were begin bigots and complaining about TV reflecting the actual diversity that exists in American instead of focusing on the privileged white, straight, middle class family.
2) *Gasp* I am so sorry. As a homosexual myself I feel personally responsible for ruining the show that you fall asleep to. The next time we have a meeting of the gays I will make a motion to cancel all of the gay characters because instead of interrupting your nap, I think gay people should step out of the limelight and go back to quietly existing so that people like you can pretend we don’t exist.
3) Throw my drink in her face and walk out of the party.