#by myself
just a personal note
my day went from amazing to a total disaster today. i ended up crying constantly for more than 2 hours. i skipped dinner which is going to haunt me in the form of a migraine tomorrow..the crying will definitely add to it too. i messed up both at work and with family. had multiple panic attacks throughout the crying and i have never felt more alone than i did a few minutes ago.
the point of this post is not to get sympathy but to keep it very very real. shit happens. it may seem like a person who puts out positive words every day has everything sorted but that’s not the case.
we’re all in this together. we all have these shitty days when it’ll seem like it’s the end of the road. i kid you not, the way i felt today, i haven’t felt like this in a long time and it was just…i am completely drained right now.
i digress, but what i really want to say is please hold on. when bad turns to worse and you see no way out, please still hold on. just go to sleep if there’s nothing else that can be done. but keep holding on, no matter what. you are special and precious and your existence matters. your beautiful self may be a tiny dot in the universe but in the greater scheme of things, you have a unique role to play.
sending out love and strength to everybody who reads this and anybody who needs it. ✨
A veces tengo la necesidad de sentarme a rimar, para exteriorizar todo lo que siento.
“La cobardía de ir a buscarte,
la valentía de aún esperarte.
Mi ángel salvador,
mi demonio destructor.”
©Camm, 2021
So I’ve been working on modding my Morrowind and writing this Morrowind graphics guide for a month now, and I’m pretty sure I’m only about two thirds of the way done, but it sure does look good so far!
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I’ll be 100% honest here. After Saturday night of New York Comic Con I was angry and upset. Why? I still have trouble pinpointing why and there was a bunch of things that went wrong that day, but what set off me crying in the taxi back home was the fact that I was at a convention alone by myself. Again. Just like last year and the year before. Fuck feeling lonely. I have cosplay to make myself happy. No one should be upset while cosplaying. Cosplayers please reblog or comment if this has happened to you, even though you had an awesome day at the con, you just couldn’t shake that nagging feeling in your brain away that you didn’t want to be by yourself. Rant over.
