#bad day
100 year old Galapagos tortoise with a few weeks old Galapagos baby posing for a new family photo, and its own baby photo from 100 years ago.
love that for 100 years people have looked at these beasts and thought “heehee what if the big one wore the little one like a hat”
just a personal note
my day went from amazing to a total disaster today. i ended up crying constantly for more than 2 hours. i skipped dinner which is going to haunt me in the form of a migraine tomorrow..the crying will definitely add to it too. i messed up both at work and with family. had multiple panic attacks throughout the crying and i have never felt more alone than i did a few minutes ago.
the point of this post is not to get sympathy but to keep it very very real. shit happens. it may seem like a person who puts out positive words every day has everything sorted but that’s not the case.
we’re all in this together. we all have these shitty days when it’ll seem like it’s the end of the road. i kid you not, the way i felt today, i haven’t felt like this in a long time and it was just…i am completely drained right now.
i digress, but what i really want to say is please hold on. when bad turns to worse and you see no way out, please still hold on. just go to sleep if there’s nothing else that can be done. but keep holding on, no matter what. you are special and precious and your existence matters. your beautiful self may be a tiny dot in the universe but in the greater scheme of things, you have a unique role to play.
sending out love and strength to everybody who reads this and anybody who needs it. ✨
I had such a rough day today. I’m in partial hospitalization (a temporary day program) right now and some other patients there really pissed me off. Talking about how they think “psychos” shouldn’t be kept with other patients when being hospitalized. “There should be another ward for people like that.” I don’t know why it bothered me so much. Shit like that usually doesn’t get to me. I haven’t suffered from psychosis since early 2018. But the way they were talking about it… Like they are so fucking superior. It just got under my skin. Then they were talking about smoking weed, doing shrooms and lsd at festivals. “Not like bad drugs. I don’t consider that stuff real drugs.” Neither do I. But what exactly are “bad drugs”? Huh Karen? It’s getting hard to think again. Fuck my clouded mind! I need help. I need to make this feeling go away. My head is starting to hurt again! I need some “medication”. I don’t know where to get it anymore. I’m starting to feel myself fade again.
Hey friends, I’m still here and still making stuff. The past few days/weeks have been incredibly difficult and it’s been impossible to keep working, but I love you all and I hope we each find ourselves in a good enough place to pick up our own swords and fight back when it counts.
Post link
(I didn’t compile this list, I am simply transposing it with permission)
SOOTHING SITES
*Write a stressful thought and watch it go away
*The quiet place
*If you need some sounds like rain, fire, coffee shop and others
*Make sand art with your mouse
*Go on a journey with your mouse
*Meditate according to how you’re feeling
*Vent to somebody
ASSORTED ACTIVITIES
*How to make a comfort box
*How to make a grounding box
*How to make a blanket nest
*How to make glitter jars
*How to make bath bombs
*How to make paper stars
*Play sudoku
*Play crosswords
HELPFUL THINGS HERE
*Advice for people who are having a bad day
*Non-cutesy self care tips
*Before engaging in any self-destructive behaviour
*Anxiety gif masterpost
*Breathe in and out along with the gif
*Tips for calming down in anxiety attacks
*Grounding techniques
MICROWAVE MUG MAGIC
*Chocolate mug cake (in 1 minute)
*Chocolate brownie
*Nutella mug cake
*Chocolate chip cookie in a mug
*Mac n’ cheese in a mug
*Blueberry muffin
*Strawberry mug pie
PRETTY PLAYLISTS (instrumental)
*You will begin to touch heaven (Post-rock)
*Silence (Post-rock, ambient)
*How did the universe come up with you
*To a galaxy far, far away
*Dusk (Ambient)
*Awakening of a dream (Ambient)
When I read a post about how someone feels hopeless, or so tired they want to die, or so stressed out they can’t think straight, or so unworthy of love they are breaking… I see the many reasons that this isn’t really true, and I want to get there and hug them, say how sorry I am that they’re having a hard time, and tell them that it is going to be okay, in the end.
But then, when I feel those things, I can’t believe any of those things, nor feel any hope.
The hypocrisy is strong in this one.
(or maybe I just need some else, not me, to hug me, and say they’re sorry I’m hurting, and tell me it’s gonna be alright)
Dlaczego zawsze gdy jest dobrze wszystko nagle się pierdoli?
Mówią że po burzy zawsze przychodzi słońce, więc dlaczego u mnie działa to w drugą stronę?
I need to remind myself…I got myself through EVERYTHING. Alone. I don’t have the support network that most others have. I don’t have a mother I can talk to. I don’t have best friends I can lean on. I don’t even have a group chat going.
When I broke up with my ex, the first thing my mother said was “Oh thank god, that means you’re not going to Japan anymore so now I don’t need to renew my passport in case I have to come and get you.” Not even an “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, are you ok?” Of course its never “Are you ok?” The reason is because I’ve learned to pretend I’m always ok, because I’m strong enough to hide the pain and push through it.
I have to be strong. Because when I see people at my gym get injured, everyone rushes to make sure they’re fine, they take them to the hospital, take them home… when I dislocated my shoulder, nobody gave a shit. Nobody stopped to help me. I had to take the bus home alone. And only after I said something, my best friend at the time was like “OMG why didn’t you tell me you wanted someone to take you home?!” Um????? Seriously?? Am I the only one who thinks that’s fucked up?
When I tore a ligament in my ankle, I couldn’t even WALK off the fucking mats and only ONE person offered to "call a cab” for me. Um, that’s okay, I can’t walk but I can still order myself an Uber. I had to walk MYSELF up the stairs. I called my best fucking friend at the time to tell her what happened and if she could come pick me up, and she said she was busy. I HAVE to be strong to handle constant rejection from those I care about the most.
Jesus fucking Christ, I am one STRONG woman. I am needy as fuck, crave attention all the fucking time, but I AM SO FUCKING STRONG. I need to remind myself of that. I am a Goddess of War, and I will fight until the end.
Don’t let the bad days make you feel like you have a bad life.
