setyourphaserstoslutty:

Kyle Riker literally is the worst father of them all like he basically had his wife raise his son for two years like a 50s housewife

Then he mentally abused and probably smacked Will around often enough

Then just dropped him because Will was starting to be better than him

Like the nerve

100%! As a kid of childhood emotional neglect, I lose my SHIT every time Icarus Factor comes on and the whole message is like “well you both didn’t give each other a real shot, hyuk” 

Um no, one was a child forced to emotionally raise himself to survive and the other was his neglectful, abusive father who TO THIS DAY thinks his son is being dramatic and emotional for not wanting anything to do with his abuser 

Love me some TNG, but this episode makes the blood boil 

Also, if you think too long about the title it’s even WORSE. Will did not “fly too close to the sun”. His father was not reasonably worried about him. He was given two paths and he chose the one he felt would be best for his life. That’s just an adult making adult decisions. Not fecking teenage Icarus burning up for flying his stupid wax wings too close to the sun, ffs. 

Anyway you’re right and Kyle Riker sucks ass

Perhaps the hat should have spent more time on Draco’s head. Maybe it would have screamed “THERAPY!” rather than “Slytherin!”.

Credits to @perhapsarat on Instagram (formerly @/fleamontpotter)

My bullet journals aren’t just a hobby (though, I won’t say no to cute washi tapes and stickers!), they’re a lifeline in this chaotic world I live in. 2020 had so many cancelled/rearranged plans that I had to keep track of, tasks to shuffle around depending on a dozen other factors, and my own schoolwork to finish up. Having a structure daily, weekly, and monthly was certainly a great help. It really took out the pressure of not knowing what to do each day or trying to ensure I didn’t forget something only for it to come back and cause me to freak out or panic.

Another piece of the puzzle fell into place today.

My trauma response is now clearly evident (hindsight is 20/20, right?) and I can trace it back to as far as when I was 6 or 7.

As soon as I recognised “fawn”, it was like an entire section of my memories was instantly rewritten. I wasn’t “sucking up” to teachers and other authority figures, I was desperately trying to survive by making sure they were happy with me!

I was badly bullied for what seemed like attention seeking and bootlicking in secondary school. And I hated myself for doing so. But now, right now, I realise that I was just trying to keep myself safe in an unpredictable world (though, admittedly, school was much safer than home).

Perhaps now I can begin to forgive myself what I did to survive.

Other people learnt what patterns were in maths worksheets and those fun little activity books for kids.

I learnt what patterns were in observing my parents’ unpredictable abusive behaviour in the hopes of making it more… well, predictable.

All things considered, I suppose going to therapy while still living in the place where people hurt you is a lot of trying to stop the burning process just after you’ve been splashed with boiling water. You’re hoping to minimise the damage that you’ll get - that you’ll have to put up with afterwards.

I was 18 before I was supposed to, so now, I am 18 when I’m not supposed to.

- my thoughts on having to mature faster than your peers because you were abused, neglected and/or parentified.

A thread on some double standards in parenting. It made me think for a good 20 mins. I’ve started to see this in my childhood memories but this really gave some concrete examples to latch on to. Identifying how it wasn’t me being “selfish” or “cruel” or “manipulative” or “rude”, but instead, just a child trying to make sense of the world and emulating what my parents did.

Credits: Blimie Heller (IG: unconditional_parenting) https://www.instagram.com/unconditional_parenting/p/CZFRMQALF-U/?utm_medium=copy_link

My thoughts on this, as a CPTSD survivor:

Parents who see and point out only the flaws and “bad” parts of people makes the world seem like an even more dangerous place.

As a child who was neglected and abused by family members - the very people I was supposed to be able to trust to love and protect me - I was already convinced that people in general weren’t safe. Then I listened to my parents constantly saying stuff like “that neighbour is a selfish, hard-hearted woman who wouldn’t help you” or “the newspaper boy is a lazy good-for-nothing kid who will probably steal your Amazon package if it’s left on your doorstep”.

Is it any wonder why I grew up hyperindependent and terribly afraid to show any weaknesses or vulnerabilities? I grew up thinking that the world was so damn unsafe.

And years later in therapy learning that it was never true, none of it at all, and I’ve been afraid my whole life of nothing.

How NOT to advertise or promote a conference/workshop/talk on trauma.

~

A light-hearted post for a change here. Hoping that I can at least put a smile on someone’s face, even if it’s just for a few seconds.

But seriously though, seeing this ad pop up while scrolling through IG stories damn near made me choke on my morning coffee.

Things parents/caregivers should not comment on:

1. Your appearance

2. Your weight

3. The food you choose to eat

4. Other personal choices that affect only yourself (e.g. which classes/ electives to take, buying items, going to therapy)

To all the shiny medals and pretty trophies that I’ve chased after…

To the folder of certificates I have amassed over the years…

And to the honours I have never stopped yearning for -

Today I learnt that I never wanted you in itself. I wanted the safety I thought you would bring, with each one of you hopefully being THE achievement that would make my parents finally love me wholly and unconditionally.

When you’ve been raised on so little, you start to believe that you don’t deserve or need much to survive… when in reality, we do.

And I think that’s one of the most damaging things our childhood could have taught us.

The Unique Features of Complex PTSD

How to begin explaining what Complex PTSD is to people who don’t have it, and/or don’t know about it:

CPTSD is “a result of trauma that was prolonged an[d] all-encompassing enough to actually change the victim’s fundamental personality”.

helle-bored:

meta on draco malfoy and perpetuating cycles of emotional abuse

So. I ended up writing meta on parental emotional abuse and Draco Malfoy’s behavior, which has gotten rather long and also deals with the psychology of reactions to childhood emotional trauma, so it’s under a cut.

Keep reading

This.

This kid was just parroting his abuser’s words, until he was forced to eat those words, and facing the truth of all the lies he was fed with.

He’s a bully, yes, but the type of bully that comes with a generational trauma. The type of abused kid that people usually overlooked since he didn’t look abused, The kid is spoiled, etc.

The majority of his character growth wasn’t seen in HP books that much, but in TCC the result shown.

It was a good redemption post-book, as he matured and slowly heals, building his own identity, and distancing himself from his parents, raising his son to be better, etc.