#complex ptsd
you know that moment when you do something wrong and you literally wanna remove yourself from you body and beat yourself up?
my friends simulator.
would you like to befriend someone with a mental illness: yes/no
you picked yes
would you like to be warned ahead of time of their symptoms yes/no
you picked yes
uh oh they’re showing symptoms what’s your next move
show them support and understanding/abandon them without warning
you chose abandon them without warning
congratulations your awful
Therapist: WHY did you use behaviors while I was out of town??
Me:
My therapist: *has to cancel*
Me:
Therapist: *calls out my negative core beliefs*
Me:
You know my mom so well.
Therapist: *points out that I seem anxious*
Me:
Me to insurance: “I need this treatment in order to survive”
Insurance:
Writing about my mental illness like
According to you, nobody has ever loved me.
If abuse isn’t love, then what do I have left?
I want a hug from my mom, but only the fantasy version of her that loves me.
(Fantasy isn’t the right word. I can’t even imagine her loving me.)
I almost appreciate my nightmares. I’m always screaming in them. In real life, I’m not sure I can scream.
I’m always screaming and fighting back and begging them not to hurt me. In reality, I was always just quiet and still and let it happen. Maybe I thought that was what they wanted. Maybe I thought that would make it hurt less.
It didn’t.
I wish I could have went into more detail for you all.
Thank you to the followers who have stuck with me through the years all 1,600 plus of you, I’ve lost some but the ones who have stayed I appreciate you.
On top of him doing all of this to me he also called me a “savage” due to my Native ancestory. And gaslighted me pretty badly.
This is what I’ve been dealing with while I’ve been gone, I am the woman in the article they forgot a few charges and left some details out I am breaking my silence.
Make this go viral.
Amherstview man charged with six-month-long domestic, sexual assault
I believe you.
talk is gold
hard gold plated
silver bullet
coral cheeks
fall into your trap
allay all your fears
i put a bug in your ear
i could use a little help
around here
Remember me when you’re the one who’s silver screened
Remember me when you’re the one you always dreamed
Remember me whenever noses start to bleed
Remember me
Special needs
Just nineteen, a sucker’s dream
I guess I thought you had the flavour
Just nineteen, a dream obscene
With six months off for bad behaviour
Remember me when you clinch your movie deal
And think of me stuck in my chair that has four wheels
Remember me through flash photography and screams
Remember me
Special dreams
Just nineteen, a sucker’s dream
I guess I thought you had the flavour
Just nineteen, a dream obscene
With six months off for bad behaviour
Just nineteen, a sucker’s dream
I guess I thought you had the flavour
Just nineteen a dream obscene
With six months off for bad behaviour
Remember me
Remember me
Just nineteen, a sucker’s dream
I guess I thought you had the flavour
Just nineteen, a dream obscene
With six months off for bad behaviour
Just nineteen, a sucker’s dream
I guess I thought you had the flavour
Just nineteen, a dream obscene
With six months off for bad behaviour
Remember me
Remember me
Im Raum hier zwischen Welt und All
hör ich Klagen von Sehnsucht
Es rufen die die was verloren haben
komm gib mir zum Atmen
was von deiner Luft
Wo sind die Augen
in die ich sehen will bevor alles schwarz wird?
Wo ist der Flügel
der zu mir gehört?
But all I can see
I see somebody loneley
and me
Die Brücke brannte ziemlich lang
mehr als einmal
Jetzt kommt keiner mehr nah ran
falscher Berg und endlos
dunkel das Tal
Where is the face
I want to see forever?
where is the wing
without my feathers?
But all I can see
I see somebody loneley
and me
7.2.2020
DONT REPOST / okay to rb if you are a csa victim as well
I’m realizing I’ve been depressed since I was a little kid and I thought it was just my personality but now I’m coming out of it and it’s like I’m getting the childhood I never got to have back
I never had a childhood, or the chance to be innocent, that was ripped away. I never had the chance to know how it felt to be truly loved and validated, how to grow up healthy and experience the joys of it. I missed out, I was fucking robbed and I grew up a broken, empty shell that I am only now learning how to fill.
Im so sick of this pandemic and how common eugenics is just constantly now. I have spent the evening crying and actually most of the day crying because of how little people care about how so many have just died so quickly.
