#emotional neglect

thinslxx:

foggybruise:

I wasnt loved as a child so now I’m evil and dont go to bed on time

bruh i was just scrollin and got personally attacked

daughterofanarcissistwoman:

“Children stay in alignment with their true self if the important adults in their lives support doing so. However, when they’re criticized or shamed, they learn to feel embarrassed by their true desires. By pretending to be what their parents want, children think they’ve found the way to win their parents’ love. They silence their true selves and instead follow the guidance of their role-selves and fantasies. In the process, they lose touch with both their inner and outer reality.”

Lindsay C. Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

The Unique Features of Complex PTSD

How to begin explaining what Complex PTSD is to people who don’t have it, and/or don’t know about it:

CPTSD is “a result of trauma that was prolonged an[d] all-encompassing enough to actually change the victim’s fundamental personality”.

I am 16 living in Ohio. I am adopted. My brother raped me, he continues to say he wants to and will do it again. He punched me in the face. He throws things. I am in extreme danger. I need out of this house now. I have a friend I could stay with, who’s parents already know my situation. If I leave to go stay with them could me, my friend, or their parents get into trouble? I need to know this before going any further into our plan of me moving in with them. My adoptive parents don’t know that I want to leave. They always say they don’t want me here and wish I would just leave. Then when I try they say they are going to call the police. My adoptive parents are fully aware of what goes on in this house they just don’t care. I scream that my brother is doing something and they yell. They yell at me. They yell at me all the time, constantly. I have told them I was going to kill myself, I don’t feel that depressed anymore but when I did they would say “go ahead! I don’t care! You would be doing everyone a favor” There is no other family I could go to because they are all involved with drugs. I can’t be here anymore. I need out. The only place I can go is my friends house.

Hi!

I don’t live in the states and only did a quick internet research so if anyone knows more, feel free to reply.

In Ohio you can’t move out without your parent’s consent until 18. So yes, your friend and their parents will get into legal trouble. If they can, have them contact a local attorney who can explain the laws in your state and help determine the best course of conduct to avoid breaking the law. 

CPS will have to get involved. Sadly, it’s hard for minors to escape abusive homes if Child Protective Services aren’t good in your area. Given that you have experienced rape, look for services for sexual abuse victims in your area, they can give you advice and you might be able to go to a shelter. 

If you haven’t yet, check my post on Leaving an abusive home and my tag escaping, there might be other useful things for you there.

I wish you a lot of strength and I really wish that I had better news.

healingchildhoodtrauma:

furiousgoldfish:

abusive family activities:

• inventing new things to criticize and humiliate the scapegoat for
• planning events without ever telling the scapegoat
• yelling at scapegoat for not working on these events
• preforming to be a ‘nice happy family’ for guests and neighbours
• putting more energy in entertaining others than caring for family members
• talking about all the people who are ‘worse’ than them and how good they are in comparison
• asking scapegoat for favours
• criticizing scapegoat for never being good enough
• bonding over mutual joy of humiliating and putting down the scapegoat
• rejoicing in how much better they all are than the scapegoat
• joining to have family fun while excluding the scapegoat to show they’re all happy without them
• lashing out at the scapegoat as soon as anything goes wrong
• directly blaming the scapegoat for any other family member’s abusive behaviour
• emotionally manipulating the scapegoat so they don’t leave, convincing them the more abusive members 'care down deep inside’ and 'show it when scapegoat isn’t around’
• rejoicing in traditions of abuse to point out how things have been worse for people in the past so the scapegoat should just get over it and get over themselves
• joined gaslighting to drive the scapegoat insane
• passive-aggressive remarks to provoke and aggravate the scapegoat, only to play victim few seconds later, knowing other family members will side with them
• telling the scapegoat 'you are abusing us, actually’
• taking out their frustrations with each other on the scapegoat
• using scapegoat as emotional support then turning their back as soon as family bullying gig is up again
• aggressively downplaying, ignoring or downright trashing the scapegoat’s success to feel safer in their own lack of accomplishments, putting scapegoat 'back into place’ to convince them they’re worthless still and it was mere luck or a mistake or 'not that hard to do’
• playing their own accomplishments up and expecting scapegoat’s admiration and support
• acting 'holier than thou’ and throwing 'you see? This is how I…’ speeches at the scapegoat to affirm their superiority and capability
• making fun of the scapegoat for not knowing a piece of information that was never available to them
• catastrophizing on what would happen to the scapegoat without the family, trying to terrify them into staying out of fear for survival
• arguing and yelling, causing drama, nastily attacking each other and fighting to be the 'main authority’ or 'getting their way’ or to be prioritized in every case
• only ever agreeing on one thing: that the scapegoat is incompetent, a burden, undeserving of attention or support, irredeemable, fair to bully, and guilty for all of this