In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.
I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.
This is funnier than anything I have ever said.
This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.
Image 1: [Image ID: a screenshot of a comment by user @tarynnasaurus reading, “Truly was not expecting to read anything like that today” /End ID]
Image 2: [Image ID: a painting of Jesus (the christian icon) in front of the tomb he was buried in after the stone was moved out of the way /end ID]
Thank You for Your words which are Spirit and life. Fill our hearts with Your love, so that we may love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.
Thank You for walking with us and wanting to bless us. Help us abound in every good work by blessing us abundantly, so that in all things at all times, we may have all we need to do Your will.
Thank You for being with us wherever we go. Help us to be strong and courageous, to not be frightened or dismayed but to walk in power, love and righteousness.
Thank You for giving us heavenly wisdom in Your Word. Help us to meditate on Your Word day and night, so that we may be careful to act in accordance with all that is written in it. For only then, shall we be prosperous and successful.
Thank You for being a way maker, a miracle worker and promise keeper. Teach us to fear You, that we may despise evil and everything else all that You despise. Teach us to also walk in love and do only the things that please You.
We thank You and bless You for Your holy Name. We thank You for sending Your One and Only Son, Jesus, and enabling us to receive Him, thereby giving us the right to be Your children. Teach us to be like-minded and sympathetic for one another. Help us to love one another with genuine love, to be compassionate and humble.
Thank You for granting me the great privilege to dwell in Your secret place, that I may abide under the shadow of Your strength and power. Teach me to be still in Your presence, to wait for You that my strength may be renewed. That I shall mount up with wings like eagles, I shall run and not be weary and walk but not grow faint.
Thank You for Your great faithfulness, loving-kindness and mercy to us, Your children. Enable us to undergo the purpose of godliness, for it has value for all things. Teach us your ways, that we may live according to your truth. Grant us purity of heart, so we may honor You always.
Thank You for sending Your precious Son, Jesus, to teach us how to watch and pray. Grant us strength and self-control to discipline ourselves and to keep alert. For our adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Don’t lead us into temptation but deliver us from the devil’s lies, tricks and snares.
Thank You for loving us so much that You gave Your one and only Son, Jesus, that whoever believes in Your Son should not perish but have eternal life. Teach us to love as You love us. Help us to love our neighbor as ourselves; to treat others with the same love and respect we wish to be treated with. Give us compassionate hearts of flesh, so we’re compelled to help those in need.
Thank You for delivering grace and truth. Help us to submit ourselves to You and resist the devil, so we may not give in to temptation. For it is by Your blood, Jesus, that we have been freed from sin and death. Strengthen our inner beings with Your power, so we may overcome our flesh. Help us to stand firm in the faith, so we aren’t burdened again by a yoke of slavery to sin.
