#determination

theyarerealtome:

I want to talk about how dedicated Aziraphale is to saving the world.Because despite his initial reluctance, the moment Aziraphale agrees to prevent Armageddon – that is his top priority.

One of Aziraphale’s defining characteristics is his commitment. While Crowley is notable for changing (his clothes, hair, gender, name, species) and for questioning (Heaven, Hell, the Almighty, Satan); Aziraphaleis notable for sticking with things (with angels, books, clothes, hair, ultimately Earth & a certain demon). That loyalty is why it takes him so long to turn against Heaven. 

Yes, Aziraphale’s arc islearning to question* and break that blind loyalty…but his commitment and faith aren’tportrayed as inherently bad things, they’re also vital to stopping Armageddon.

(*Well it’s more admitting his questions tbh, because that rebellious angel been quietly doubting since Eden).

Once Aziraphale’s aboard the Antichrist plan, he’s not just following Crowley’s lead – he’s pushing forward of his own volition. When they discover they have the wrong boy, Aziraphale doesn’t shrug and go “we tried, back to Heaven with me” the way you’d expect an initially reluctant conscript to – he keeps trying.

He’s the one who suggests going to Warlock’s birthday party, he comes up with hospital idea, he proposes using other humans to find Adam and offers his agents. At the end of it all, he produces the winning ‘Great plan’ argument and rallies against Satan when Crowley wavers.  

Caveat: “It’s the Great Plan Crowley” – his lies to Crowley and himself.

Of course, where Aziraphale seems to falter (breaking all our hearts in the process) is that goddamn bandstand scene – “There is no our side.”

But like, even when Aziraphale appears to be giving up and supporting the war….he really isn’t. While he’s loudly preaching about the great plan out front; in the back he’s tracking down Adam and appealing to Heaven to stop things. Aziraphale’s commitment doesn’t change, but he employs different tactics when he realises the original Antichrist plan has failed, and he’s scared and he pushes Crowley away.

Of course, lying to Crowley and trusting Heaven was wilfully misguided. And he realises that.

But that brings me to the biggest point –  

When finally faced with Heaven or humanity Aziraphale doesn’t hesitate

Aziraphale spends so much of the series convincing himself he can save humanitywith Heaven, can stay loyal to his superiors and to earth, and histwo belief systems will line up neatly.

And it takes him so, so long – literally from the voice of God itself – to realise that’s wrong.

This post talks about moment with Metatron when Aziraphale realises Heaven (and he thinks God) doeswant the war . And fuck, it’s heartbreaking.  

What’s noticeable from then on though? There’s never anydeliberation on Aziraphale’s part about supporting Heaven. There’s no “oh maybe the Almighty is right,” “maybe I should join the other angels,” “well, if everyone else agrees, maybe I’m in the wrong.” He throws aside his previous dithering and doubts.  

If Heaven doesn’t agree with him on saving Earth, then that is it.

When he realises he can’t have both; it’s the world or Heaven – he goes with humanity. Without flinching. Without hesitation. Because that’s been his priority since he and Crowley shook on it eleven years ago.

Mere minutes after facing the truth, Aziraphale rejects Heaven in the most badass way possible, complete with yelling at other angels and possessing people.

There’s a great meta from@ilarual about just how ballsy Aziraphale’s rebellion against Heaven was, and about how he finally let loose all the doubts he’d been supressing for 6000 years. To quote:

Basically, Aziraphale backflips out of Heaven with both middle fingers in the air, and frankly I think it’s amazing.

In comparison to Crowley

Now obviously Crowley is also committed to saving humanity. Obviously. He came up with the original Antichrist plan, pleads with God over everything, argues with Aziraphale and drove through literal fire.

(And Crowley doesn’t hesitate either – his instant reaction to the Antichrist is pure horror and it takes him less than a car ride to be on the phone to Aziraphale and concocting his thwarting scheme).

However,from when they discover they have the wrong child, Crowley is making back-up plans. He’s ready to run away to Alpha Centuari and leave humanity to it.

Partly that’s because, unlike Aziraphale, he doesn’t have the information about Adam – but Crowley was flagging before that.

On route to Tadfield, its Aziraphale offering suggestions to find the Antichrist and Crowley blocking him. (“And then what? And then what?”). After the convent visit failed, Crowley’s basically sulking over Aziraphale’s ideas – which Aziraphale does not stand for a minute tbh. (“Do you have a better idea? A single better idea?”) And even later on its Aziraphale, not Crowley, who commits to killing Adam.

To be clear, I am in no way judging Crowley for doubting they’d succeed and planning to run. He’s not obliged to help Earth, the fact he even tried was incredibly selfless. There’s a brilliant piecefrom@theniceandaccurategoodomensblog on how much Crowley was risking to stop Armageddon and how his escape plan was justified.

Him preventing the war was always against Hell’s plans and put him in the line of fire, whereas Heaven at least pretended to support Aziraphale efforts.

Plus, Crowley was right in knowing that the two of them wereon their own and not to trust Heaven, which Aziraphale didn’t get. Crowley benefits from Aziraphale’s will & determination, while Aziraphale benefits from Crowley clear-eyed view of the world.

In the end

Ofc Aziraphale and his steadfastness and the importance of all that, culminates when Satan storms onto the scene. 

Because when Crowley does falter (“we are fucked”), it’s Aziraphale’s determination that keeps them going (“We can’t give up now.”) Because, just to say it again – when Aziraphale commits to something he commits.

It’s this incredible full circle moment from Crowley persuading Aziraphale to stop the Antichrist, to Aziraphale pushing Crowley to stand against Satan. And fuck, that’s beautiful.

And now, post-series, now Aziraphale has abandoned Heaven, he’s 100% going to put his trademark commitment and dedication and devotion into his new side. His side with Crowley.

Tldr: While Crowley was the one who initially persuaded Aziraphale, from then on saving humanity was Aziraphale’s top priority: Even while he denied it, even over Heaven, even to the point of encouraging Crowley. Because Aziraphale loves and commits with everything in him – and that saved the world.

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@whispsofwindreply: A thing I really like about Crowley and Aziraphale is how complementary they are to each other.

Crowley is constantly moving. He has clever schemes and has already thought about plan B, C and D while he’s still executing plan A. He is ever changing, always trying to stay one step ahead of everything.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, is steadfast. Once he finds something he likes, he sticks with it and doesn’t see the need to change. Once he starts something, he commits and finishes it. Plan A is getting done one way or another.

Without Aziraphale as a constant, Crowley would be untethered, with nothing to give him stability. Without Crowley to give him a good push, Aziraphale would stagnate, never daring to get in motion.

Together though, Crowley can push them both into action and Aziraphale can keep them on track. They work better as a unit than they do apart, and it’s amazing.

It’s unstoppable force meets immovable object, and instead of crashing and burning they both come out better for it.

ilarual:

Can we talk about Aziraphale’s rebellion? I want to talk about Aziraphale’s rebellion.

Like, obviously Aziraphale rebelling against Heaven started with giving away the sword. We all know this. He took his stand six thousand years ago and has, in his own quiet way, been defending his choice ever since. In the miniseries, we don’t see as much of how Aziraphale actually conducts his work on Earth as we do of Crowley’s half-hearted attempts at Being Bad, aside from that one line during the drunken bookshop scene about how he tries to influence humans to do the actual thwarting, but I think a lot about the line from the script book that was cut for time, about how he was hoping to influence Nero by getting him interested in music. Which… hoooooo boy is thata lot to unpack, but I digress.

Crowley gave humanity the opportunity to choose, and has continued to do so, allowing mankind to choose their fates. And Aziraphale? Aziraphale is doing just as he did in giving Adam and Eve his sword: giving humanity the tools with which to enact their own destiny, whatever that may be. Aziraphale’s methodology is a consistent defense of his original rebellion, but he still tries for six thousand years to tread the fine line of loyalty to Heaven, even as he makes it oh so very clear, with his misprint Bibles and his love of human culture and his clear discomfort in the face of Heaven’s other messengers, that he doesn’t like their ways or their attitude.

But that isn’t what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is the moment that Aziraphale goes full loose cannon.

When Aziraphale first gets poofed back to Heaven, he starts out this confrontation with the Quartermaster with the same fumbling, almost unctious behavior he shows to the Archangels (feat. Sandalphon) up until this point. He doesn’t like these people, he barely evenrespects these people, but he feels he owes them his loyalty so he speaks courteously and very nearly obsequiously (but with a twinkle in his eye that says “I am mentally eviscerating every stupidass word out of your idiot mouth” the whole time). He makes light of having been discorporated because he knows he’s in trouble and he’s so in the habit of trying to downplay his slip ups, his tiny rebellions, and dress them up in humor, that it’s his go-to reaction when he suddenly finds himself bodiless and stuck in the absolute last place he wants to be.

But then the Quartermaster starts giving him a dressing down, and at first we see Aziraphale kind of wilting under his ire, shrinking back into himself (which is an amazing bit of physicality from Mr. Sheen, seriously, go rewatch, the body language he uses in this whole scene is amazing) and trying to compress himself down under Heaven’s rage… but then the final blow is delivered:

“You pathetic excuse for an angel!”

And Aziraphale just kind of goes still and absorbs this. He thinks it over. He straightens up. And he makes his choice.

“Well, I suppose I am, really.”

He knows what he is. He’s known from the beginning. His rebellion began six thousand years ago, and all these years with humanity and with Crowley, pushing and pulling at him and making him think and evaluate and question everything, has made him ready to own up to it.

Up until this point, Aziraphale’s rebellion— his misprint Bibles and his little white lies and his overindulgence in human things and the questions he keeps to himself for fear of Falling— has been so quiet. It’s been whispers behind closed doors and a hush-hush Arrangement with an Adversary he shouldn’t even speak to let alone have cozy dinners with. It’s all under lock and key and oh so very discrete.

Until now. Now Aziraphale is pissed.

He’s spent six thousand years teaching humans how to solve their own problems, giving them the tools they need to fight their own battles and actually make use of that power of choice Crowley gave them, even if he doesn’t actually realize that’s what he’s been doing all these years. He’s put literally all the Time there has ever been into guiding and caring for the Earth, and under absolutely no fucking circumstances is he going to let it all be blown to bits so Heaven and Hell can have their stupid pissing contest all over it.

And suddenly all that servile obedience to Heaven, all that soft-spoken pandering, just evaporates. Suddenly it’s “I have nointention of fighting in any war!” Suddenly it’s “Idemand to be returned [to Earth]!” Suddenly Aziraphale has absolutely run out of fucks to give and he’s ready to scream out everything that’s been coming to a slow boil inside him over the course of so many centuries. And he doesn’t know yet, he doesn’t yet understand that all the work he and Crowley have been doing for six thousand years has already given Adam and the Them everything they need to make their choice and defend it. As far as Aziraphale is concerned, he and probably Crowley are the only thing standing between the Earth and its imminent destruction, and he absolutely will not just stand back and let it happen.

It doesn’t matter that his Quartermaster is berating him. It doesn’t matter that that whole line of angels has suddenly turned in eerie, perfect unison to stare him down with blank-eyed dispassion and unfeeling Judgment. It doesn’t matter that this is treason in Heaven’s eyes, that there’s a damn good chance he’s going to Fall for this. He’s chosen his side, and he’s making a stand. 

And then the thought occurs to him that, well, why can’t he just go back to Earth? Why can’t he just possess a convenient human host? Demons can do that, and what are demons but fallen angels? Why can’the do what a demon can do? He knows damn well and good that angels and demons aren’t really all that far apart— he has six millennia worth of love and an Arrangement spanning nearly a thousand years to prove it. We talk about Crowley and his imagination and creativity, but Aziraphale is no slouch when it comes to thinking outside the box either. So once Aziraphale starts asking questions, reallyasking them and not just thinking them quietly to himself and then locking them up tight where no one is likely to see, he instantly becomes this unstoppable cannonball of chaotic energy. It’s the loudest, most brazen Rebellion since Lucifer himself, and it’s done in the service of Humanity, because Aziraphale’s defining character trait is his radical kindness.

Basically, Aziraphale backflips out of Heaven with both middle fingers in the air, and frankly I think it’s amazing.

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@aethelflaedladyofmerciareply: Yeah basically

So in all that cringing away from the Quartermaster, I see Aziraphale’s eternity of being slowly chipped away by the emotional abuse of Heaven. He might question what’s right, he might question whether he even respects his superiors as he should, but deep down he is an angel and he WANTS so very much to be a good angel. He wants to be acknowledged. He wants to be told that his rebellions are ok because they’re done for the Right Reason (at the same time that he does NOT want to be found out).

And then…they push him too far. Hell is after Crowley (Who may or may not be leaving for ever) earth is about to be destroyed, humanity is going to be wiped out, NO ONE CARES, and now all his failures are laid bare and

And Aziraphale decides he just does not give a single care, s**t or f**k anymore.

It’s like, he hits rock bottom, and realizes in that second that he can actually stand on his own two feet.

It’s f***ing glorious.

I’m all brute force and sheer willpower.