Justice League Dark Apokolips War was surprisingly good. And I already watch it for second time and i want to watch it again this weekend. Some of you dm me to draw Damian & Raven final scene. The answer is yes. And this will be my final Damirae Fanart. It was indeed fun journey to draw this two. I able to improve my art quite drastically over one year.
Haven’t written for, like, a year. So here’s some fluff before I throw some angst in your faces.
Rating: G
Warning: none. The fluffiest of fluff and Raven being adorable.
It’s routine, at this point. As soon as the sun comes up, Raven sneaks from her and Damian’s bedroom, finds a book and sits in the lounge chair near the window with a cup of tea and reads.
Finally, six months later, I have finished one of my fics for DamiRae Smut Week 2021. So… here it is. The Batmobile prompt. Finally.
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She could not be serious.
She could not be serious.
Damian’s face fell as he stared out the window of the car, his eyes firmly on the tapered waist of Raven’s body. The wind and rain picked up, making her blazer flutter around her and showing off the holster strapped to her ribs. She bent down, trying to see through the darkly tinted windows, and lifted two paper cups emblazoned with the logo of his favorite coffee shop. He bit back a groan and lifted his eyes to the ceiling on the Batmobile.
Shewasserious.
“I know you’re in there, Batman.” Raven only reserved that tone of voice for perpetrators and when Damian was in serious trouble. “Open up the damn car. It’s freezing out here.”
A/N: Well. Well, well, well. Yeah I know I don’t use this site anymore but I said I would write a DamiRae fic for a friend, and I did so I figured I should post here.
Damien blinked, shocked. He adjusted his posture as his fist nervously moved from in front of his mouth to his lap to the arm of the couch. “Excuse me?” His lips wobbled as he tried to keep himself from laughing.
“You’re staring,” Raven answered, not bothering to look up from her book.
“You-” His eyes darted back and forth.
Obviously tracing the path that Gar had just taken back to his room.
“You didn’t see that-” Alfred had lectured him more than once about the difference between being honest and rude. And as much as Damien hated to admit it…
Well, he would never admit it out loud, but he knew that Alfred knew that Damien knew the advice was more meaningful than ever working with a team.
“-that-” Though he was struggling with a polite way to describe that shameful display.
“You mean Garfield’s atrocious attempts to flirt with me?”
Ballet AU, smut scene taking place in Chapter 3fromPas de Deux. Hope you like it!
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Raven’s breathing was slow and heavy, she was trying to regain her normal rhythm, but she was smiling with satisfaction. As Damian had promised, things took their natural course, and any doubts she had had about how their relationship was going to change were completely erased.
After coaching with Miss Goodness, they continued an extra hour, going over all their scenes together. And everything ran as if nothing had happened.
In a dark alleyway in the upscale part of Gotham, two figures are seen entangled around each other. The smaller figure was a woman and her back was against the wall. The broader figure was a male, his right forearm resting beside her head. The lady’s fingers lay upon the man’s jaw conservatively unlike his left hand, which lay on her hip with no such reservation. His grip was strong as he held her. She shyly placed a hand on his chest; the hesitation he felt. With his free hand he pressed her left hand against his sternum.
A soft gasp came from her lips, when she felt his firm chest against her hand. It gave her the courage to cup his cheek with her palm.
He felt her hand pressed to his chest with no fear. Their lips still locked onto one another; He had taken note of her experience, or lack thereof. She wasn’t bad, in fact she was quite well practiced, but it was clear that she was nervous at his touch and that gave away to her inexperience.
Even so, his desire for her grew, his rationality slightly muddled. His fevered hand moved to her mid back; his thumb parallel to her spine. He pulled her closer to him, deepening the kiss. She couldn’t help but moan at his abruptness. And boy, was her moan music to his ears.
As her body was pressed against his, she felt the effect their heated kissing session had on him. Her soft body against his, made his desire grow. Before he would commit to the thoughts that he wanted to do on her, he pulled away. Her soft pants fueled him; his green eyes looked at her swollen lips dangerously.
“How old are you again?” He asked as he collected his breath too. For a moment she was confused, and her violet eyes stared at him.
“I’m twenty-four.” She replied again, he had asked her age prior to them making out, and once more before that. Her eyes were clear as she replied, so he did not doubt for a second that she was lying about her age. Although, admittedly she looked younger than twenty-four. He brought his face near her left ear.
“Good.” He mumbled near her left ear. And then his face hovered dangerously so close to her face, their lips almost touching. “Let’s not dampen the mood.” He pulled away and he gently held onto her hand as she quietly observed him.
“Let’s go bring this somewhere else.” He said in a deep voice, as he brought her fingers towards his lips and kissed them fleetingly. Her violet eyes flickered, it was a promise, and an invitation.
“I-I’m staying at a lodge on the opposite side of the city.” She offered and his eyes flickered. The hand holding hers dropped slowly from his face but still holding on to the soft hands of the lady.
That part of the city was where the criminals go rampant. But to be fair the entirety of Gotham was dangerous; it just so happened it is even more so at that shitty part of the city. And a young, small, fragile girl like the woman in front of him—well the thought of her in that part of the city did not sit well with him.
His scrutinizing gaze unintentionally put the woman in front of him on edge.
“You came a long way to get to this part of the city.” He finally remarked. His initial thoughts about her revelation masked.
“I came a long way to get to Gotham.” She replied quietly, her violet eyes so very clear to the man. He was very much attracted to it. He pulled her out of the alleyway. His black slacks and shiny dress shoes paired with a dark red button up shirt with its sleeves rolled up to his elbows, made the woman think: that the man before her suited this part of town well. His black hair was messy but with a purpose, and his green eyes were enchanting. His golden skin emphasized his muscles and even his clothing couldn’t hide how well toned he was.
She stepped out of the shadow of the alleyway, her short black vinyl skirt glistening against the bright city lights. Her black shirt with a print and a rip below the round collar was tucked under the high waisted skirt. Her black combat boots are dusty. Her black shoulder length hair on a messy half up half down hairstyle. She had a small black purse with a silver chain, across her chest.
Looking at the man before her made her feel that her clothes were cheap in comparison to what he was wearing. But to the man, the ripped shirt showed a peek of the curves of her upper breasts. The two slits on the front of her little skirt, made her legs even more alluring. And her all-black outfit made her pale skin almost glow as if absorbing the moonlight. All these little details he was sure she didn’t notice, made his desire for her increase. He wanted to see everything that she was barely hiding.
“I have a place nearby—we could go there and finish what we started.” He said the offer was a bit shocking to his own ears.
She couldn’t help but widen her eyes a bit, her hand wavering. Of course, he would have a place in this part of town. He fit the whole aesthetic well.
Her violet eyes flickered to the club from across the street. In fact, that was the number one and top-class club in Gotham. That was where they met.
Of course, he’d have a place in this general area. She felt even more little in front of him, and he sensed that she was self-deprecating herself. He squeezed the hand he was holding, and suddenly pulled her close to him, their lips an inch away. The bulge in his pants pressing against her pelvic firmly. His right arm held her tightly around her small waist.
And her thoughts were all forgotten because of the close proximity of the charming man before her. And particularly the thing pressing against her body. He wanted her.
“My name is Damian.” He muttered; his green eyes locked onto her violet orbs.
“I’m Raven.” She replied back, her breathing uneven at the thought of the bulge against her lower belly.
“’Well then, Raven.” He whispered to her ear deeply. “Do you want to continue this at my place?” And she couldn’t help but nod vacantly.
“Alright then, let’s get to the car.” He pulled away, gently pulling her hand to a certain direction.
Her eyes glanced again at the club. This was what she wanted. So, she shouldn’t be nervous and she gripped Damian’s hand maybe out of comfort or something else. A smile formed on Damian’s face when he felt her small hand squeeze his hand.
When they got to his black car, she didn’t recognize its brand, but she knew that it was expensive. A luxury sports car. She gazed at the man who was holding the door open for her.
He must be very rich, she thought as she slid onto the passenger’s seat. He then got in the driver’s seat and made his way to his apartment building. She was slightly nervous but the drive wasn’t very long. And she was shocked to see the enormous skyscraper in front of her.
“Who are you?” She inquired cautiously; he glanced at her with a smirk.
“I’m Damian.” He simply replied, “I will open the door for you.” She nodded in response. He stepped out of the car and the valet took the keys from him. He went around the car to open her door for her, offering his hand for her to which she gladly accepted. She glanced at the valet as they entered the building.
Damian did not particularly like the steady gaze she had on the male valet. He slipped his right hand around her left hip and squeezed her towards him. She turned to look at Damian, his gaze slightly dangerous. The squeeze a reminder. Her face slowly turned red at the thought of how this evening would progress.
As the pair stepped into the lobby, Raven gasped at the beauty of the building. White ceilings, ivory-colored walls, glistening white tiles—a chandelier. Everything about the lobby was breathing-taking, and evidently only for the upper class.
The lounge area was breath-taking. She was obviously out of place.
The female receptionist saw Damian enter, and stood up to greet him and his company. The fact that he even brought anyone- especially a woman here, was shocking to the female receptionist. But before she could even utter his name, Damian gave her a firm glance. A warning. He lifted his free hand and tilted his head ever so slightly.
The receptionist’s eyes widened, and instead of uttering her greeting she merely bowed her head a bit. Raven did not miss the interaction of Damian and the receptionist, she turned to look at him inquisitively.
“What is it, Raven?” He asked calmly with a gentle smile as he guided her to an elevator.
“Who are you really?” She asked again, and he stopped in front of the elevator that had a biometric scan.
“I think I’ve answered that, my dear.” He replied as he placed his left thumb against the scan. She stared at his thumb as he retracted it and at the same time the elevator doors opened.
Obviously, he was someone.
Damian released her waist and slipped his hand onto her hand as he stepped onto the elevator.
“Well?” He looked at her.
She could reject him now. He wasn’t forcing her, because once she stepped onto the elevator, he would not hold back.
And she could see it in his eyes, and the aura that he was giving off. The promise and invitation he gave on that dark alleyway, of how this night would end. She gripped her small purse with her free hand, that she had slung on her left shoulder while in the car ride. She was certain she wanted to do this. And she stepped into the elevator without a second thought.
The moment the elevator door closed, he pulled her into him and started kissing her lips possessively. His right arm around her waist. While his left hand held the railing to steady them, he took a step back to rest his upper back against the elevator wall.
“There is no going back now.” He told her in a husky voice, and she couldn’t help but nod as she wrapped an arm around his waist and the other hand rested on his shoulder. For a moment, she had worried about the cameras capturing them. But it was him who pulled her close, and so it should be a given that it was something not to worry about.
When the elevator pinged, Damian pulled away, the self-control he had was on its last few threads. He guided her out the elevator, and she was surprised to see a classic luxury lounge in between the elevator door and a single wood oaked door across the elevator. They passed through the lounge area and he glanced at her as they reached his door.
She knew the moment he opened the door; the last thread of his self-control would be gone. And he would take her in every way he desired. And oddly enough, she kind of looked forward to it.
Another biometric scan on a wooden door, she pondered. But as the door opened and the pair passed through the door, she couldn’t help but note that the wooden door didn’t seem to be actual wood.
Once she stepped into the space, she didn’t even have time to register her surroundings or adjust to the darkness. The door hadn’t even fully shut and Damian had already turned her around and started kissing her. His self-control is completely gone now. Even though he did not have time to adjust to the darkness, he knew his apartment well.
He grabbed onto her butt with his right hand and lifted her up as she dropped her bag on the floor. She wrapped her legs around his waist for support and his hands holding her. He moved to his right and navigated through his living room to reach his bedroom door. He opened the door with his right hand and entered his bedroom. He turned and pressed her back against the door, thus closing it too.
Raven closed her eyes as she allowed herself to get lost on the feeling again. This was even more intense then when they were at the alleyway. Damian was obviously holding back at that time. Her hands on his shoulder and neck, as he sucked and nibbled on the skin that was revealed by the rip on her shirt.
He just wanted to fuck her now.
“Just do it.” She mumbled almost instantly as the thought crossed his mind. As if she had read his mind, he paused.
The invitation he needed.
“Do whatever you want with me.” She clarified, and he inhaled deeply, that was what he needed.
“Are you under birth control?” He mumbled absent-mindedly.
“I have them in my bag.” She replied between her moans.
“Would you want me to use protection?” He licked her neck.
“It’s okay if you don’t.” She sighed as he continued on by sucking her neck.
His right-hand slithered under her skirt as he teased her. And she moaned feeling her lace undergarments being pressed against her skin because of this man’s fingers. She arched her back as she unzipped her skirt for easy removal later.
Damian was occupied with teasing her with a steady speed. His lips finding hers over and over. Eventually he realized her tight skirt had loosen and he pulled his hand back from under her and he ran his hand up her back.
He felt the open zipper, and he tugged her shirt up from behind her back. He slipped his hand inside her shirt and moved his hand to her chest, lifting the shirt over her breast. He stopped from kissing her as he gazed at the skin that was enticing him from under the rip of her shirt.
Raven raised her hand to hold up her shirt for him to do what he wanted with her breasts. His hand moving down to her left rib. Her other arm tucked under his shoulder.
Her porcelain skin looked mesmerizing in the dark room. Her pink nipples erect and peeking through from under the sheer black lace bra she wore. He wondered what the point of her lace bra was. It was so thin it didn’t seem to hold any purpose. And it only covered the lower half of her breast. In fact, just one move he was sure her tits would slip out. Maybe it was for easy access and it did add an extra allurement to her body.
But no matter, her choice of undergarment was something he shouldn’t worry about. But then the thought of her wearing a matching sheer black lace under her clothes tonight, made his possessiveness burn from within him. Her skirt was so short and her sheer undergarments just laying underneath her clothes–it was a perfect recipe for a disaster.
He sucked on her right nipple roughly from over the black lace. And she gasped as she buried her face against the side of his head. He tugged on it with his teeth and the lace gave her breast a certain kind of friction from his suckling and light biting and pulling. Her insides are heated up and her nipples hardened even more.
Damian’s mind was brought back to her bra’s sheerness. He put out his tongue and licked the lace above her nipple and brought his tongue on the skin that the bra couldn’t cover and she shivered.
It was so sheer that he could just—he slipped his tongue under the lace, making sure his tongue’s path would meet her erect nipple. And he pulled the lace down with his tongue, hooking it under the curve of her breast and leaving a streak of saliva on her breast.
His tongue returned to her nipple. This time no more boundary between his mouth and her breast. He switched the arm supporting her so that his left hand could cup her left breast. With his thumb he pulled the lace down her breast, as he kneaded her left breast and nipple while his mouth worked on her right breast.
Raven moaned louder, he carried her to his bed and laid her down gently. And as his hands retracted, his right hand grabbed her underwear and pulled it down to her combat boots. His left hand grabbed her skirt and pulled it off of her completely. Their eyes locked at one another, her panting echoing within the dark room. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt as he studied her body as she untied her boots to tug her underwear off.
When she was done, her lower half was now completely naked. Raven turned her head to look at Damian and her eyes met his as his hands unbuttoned his pants, his shoes discarded when she had looked away. She lifted her shirt off of her as his pants completely fell off to his ankles. Her violet eyes staring at his erected dick.
She approached him as she tossed her shirt on the floor, the look on her face breath-taking to him.
“Wa-wait.” He began but her lips already met his hard penis. And how she worked her mouth on him, made him think that his deduction about her inexperience must have been completely wrong.
Damian hissed and growled at how she sucked him and licked him. Her tongue swirling around his penis, her hands deftly moving around his balls and dick. The throbbing between her legs seemed to be pulsating intensely too, but this is only something she would know.
He noticed that her black bra was still on, and Damian leaned in to unhook the thing and pulled it off of her shoulders. She felt his penis twitch within her mouth and she pulled away whilst removing her bra too. She panted as she moved back a bit, her legs spread before him, their eyes locked as he leaned into her.
He groped her and kissed her in a rougher way, but it was captivating. And as she lay completely naked before him, his naked back arched as he left kisses on her collarbone. He gathered all the strength he could to pull away.
“You’re twenty-four, right?” He asked again. She furrowed her brows but nodded. “Good.” He mumbled as he sucked on her right nipple and groped the other. Her soft moans above his head.
He pulled away from sucking her breast and kissed the base of her neck. His right hand that was resting below her breast traveled down and stopped dangerously near her crotch.
“Are you sure?” He mumbled again, his mind slowly drifting back into his undeniable desire.
“Yes.” She whispered as she placed a hand on his upper back, her left hand resting near her hip. His hand traveled even lower and as his fingers touched her womanhood, her breath hitched. And he smiled with her reaction and he placed the tips of his fingers in, swirled a bit and pulled out. From what he could feel, she was pretty tight, she was after all a small woman.
He inserted his middle finger in to test her lubrication, but what he found was that his finger alone seemed to have difficulty in entering. She was too tight for sure.
She was such a small woman, would she be able to handle him and his desires, he wondered. But her seductive moan made him forget his worry and all he could focus on was the throbbing on his dick. He wanted her now.
“Good, you’re really wet.” He said as he pulled away, and she saw his dark gaze as he looked down on her. “But a bit too tight.” Her face flushed.
“Don’t be nervous, my dear.” He said as he kissed her lips whilst inserting his middle finger slowly inside her. With a steady pace he moved his finger inside of her, while his free hand kneaded her left breast. He was gentle and didn’t force his finger in.
“Relax.” He muttered into her lips and as she sighed and moaned intermittently. After some time, his middle finger finally entered her completely. He wiggled his finger inside of her and he heard her voice hitch, he smiled as he kissed down to her sternum. He pulled out his finger and slowly worked on adding a second finger inside of her, as his lips worked around her upper body to try and keep her relaxed.
Soon after, he finally got three fingers in and he couldn’t help but sigh.
She really was too tight, what a small woman she was. He couldn’t help but to think as he placed both hands on her hip to steady her. He felt her stiffen ever so slightly against his fingertips.
“Relax.” He reminded her, the desire in his eyes undeniable.
She was embarrassed and so she brought her forearm to rest against her eyes. She did say he could do whatever he wanted to her. She could tell by the way he looked now that she would finally know exactly what he wanted to do to her, to the full extent.
He gripped her hips firmly, his eyes locked onto her embarrassed face, which just fueled his desire. He could tell this night was going to be particularly long. His desire for her seemed to reach a new threshold every second he was near her. It was rather astonishing.
At first, he slowly placed himself in her, but once his tip entered her, his thoughts went blank as he bit his lip.
He fully entered her with a rough and possessive thrust. She winced and whimpered, and he pressed her body down to minimize any movement that could harm her any further. His eyes widen, his golden-brown skin turning ashen. The hands on her hips were wavering a bit. He looked as though he had killed a man unintentionally.
“Did-did I hurt you?” His voice came wearily. “I- I’m sorry.”
She stole a peek at him, water in her eyes. “It’s- it’s not your fault.” Her voice sounded like she was close to crying. And it was like something clicked in Damian’s mind as his eyes widened in realization. Every piece falling into place and putting a clear image on his head.
“You-you.” He muttered, realizing what had happened. “Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice is slightly on edge. Raven hid behind her arm again and he could tell she didn’t want to talk about it.
“You’re—you’re really twenty-four though, right?” He asked quietly, unmoving, slightly terrified at the thought of taking someone underage. It had almost happened to him once.
“I am.” Her brows furrowed. “I told you to do what you want with me, please, don’t make this a big deal.”
He couldn’t even be mad at this point, he sighed. “You should have told me.” He leaned in to kiss her neck.
“I’m sorry, I will be gentle.” He reassured her and he took it slowly. He kissed her and groped her and sucked on her with his lips and hands to keep her distracted from the pain of losing her virginity. Eventually, the pain was gone and her moans became alluring once again, almost begging. She had become accustomed to him, but he was still a bit weary, a bit guilty.
He should have noticed her tightness, but he was too distracted with his increasing desire that was obviously out of place. He should have noticed the moment he noted her inexperience. It was a major flaw on his part. He shouldn’t have been so rash; she had blind-sided him with her experience in a blowjob, this he couldn’t deny.
“Yes, please…” She mumbled bringing him back to his current situation. He had gained speed unconsciously and she was begging him to continue on.
Yes, indeed this night will be long. He thought as he slowed his pace to tease her.
It was hours later after multiple moans, screams, begging and orgasms from both parties that Damian truly realized how odd his behavior for the woman in his arms truly was. He wasn’t a cuddler. But look at him now, holding Raven against his chest. He certainly would never even invite a potential sexual partner to his apartment. And yet, he did for her.
He wasn’t even the type to do a one-night stand or picking a woman up randomly and in a club of all places. In fact, he would carefully pursue a potential sexual partner, or in the very least have gotten to know them significantly before sleeping with them. And admittedly he would stick to one fuck buddy for as long as able. But he supposed there was a first for everything. As long as it wasn’t someone underage. That was a line he was not willing to cross.
He had almost after all, been a victim of trickery of an underaged woman because of his family name.
When he had seen Raven at the club, the woman in his arms, she stood out like a sore thumb. She obviously did not belong at such a loud place, and clearly didn’t know anything about the club culture. He was just silently observing her, curious as to how she even caught his gaze. But when she looked as though she was avoiding phantom touches, he couldn’t seem to stand it. He got up from his chair, leaving his mindless companions and approached her through the sea of people on the dance floor.
He didn’t expect much. He didn’t even think that the night would end the way it did, when he had first seen her. He approached her blocking the greasy hands of a man in front of her. She had noticed Damian’s hands blocking the hands moving close to her. She followed where the hand came from and her violet eyes met his green eyes.
He genuinely did not expect anything, but when their eyes met, there was an undeniable connection. Her eyes were translucent and it clearly showed that she made up her mind about something. And that clarity in her eyes made him even more enamored by her.
They danced a bit, as she tried her best to avoid the wandering hands of the people around her. And unwanted body parts against her certain body parts. They had exchanged names but it was rather unclear over the loud music. And soon later he invited her out, that was how they ended up on the alleyway across from the club in the first place.
The moment their eyes met she must have made up her mind on how she wanted her evening to end. She must have made up her mind that she wanted her virginity lost and to him of all people.
He gazed down at the head on his chest.
Damian had exhausted Raven too much for her first time. And a part of him felt guilty for it, but he also felt protective—no rather it was possessive over her. He held her firmly and she softly moaned, as his eyes fluttered closed.
Raven rarely had a good night’s sleep. She was normally plagued by awful nightmares when the night came. But that night, against the chest of a man she had met at a high-end club, in the rich part of Gotham, she found that she had the best sleep she ever had in her entire life.
When she decided to lose her virginity earlier that evening, she was about fifty-fifty. She wasn’t expecting much. In fact, it wasn’t something she whole-heartedly put her heart into doing. Raven figured, that since she is in Gotham already, wouldn’t it be the best place to have her first sexual encounter.
No one knew her, and she could just slip away after the deed was done. And it wouldn’t matter because she would leave Gotham in a few weeks. But she also wanted to at least meet someone experienced, and since she was at a place, she wasn’t familiar with, she should also try things she normally doesn’t do.
That was how she ended up at the club. With a half-hearted desire that could or could not happen that night and to experience a night life in an unfamiliar place.
She was supposed to slip away at night, if she wound up sleeping with someone. But she had the best sleep in Damian’s arms. And when she woke up, she was still on his bed, but without the owner. The sunlight peeking through the cracks of the thick curtains on her left.
She was supposed to slip out at night, she recalled as she sat up. But it was clearly day and she was still on his bed.
Raven studied the room carefully. The bedroom was impossibly too big for one person. She studied the stretch of thick black curtains on her left. There was a night stand on either side of the bed. The simple furnishing, yet the wide, wide space. There was a dark round oak table with two matching chairs with arm rests on the left corner of the room by the wall of black curtains.
There was a dark blue settee against the wall facing the bed which had black and white sheet over the arm. And there was a glass coffee table with dark oak wood in front of the settee. A white canvas with a black painting atop the settee, it looked to be a landscape painting of a building that looked Arabic but filled in black with trees in the background.
The room was filled with black, white, dark blue and dark oak wood. The walls were dark blue, and the floor onyx. It was pretty grim, but the space clearly belonged to a man. The image of her first lover came to mind, and the space fit him exceptionally well.
There was a short hallway by the wall on her right. From her angle she could see that there was a white door. It didn’t appear to have anyone inside, as there were no lights from under the door.
She turned her head to look at the door beside her, he must be outside. She searched for her clothes, but it was nowhere to be seen. Instead, there was a white polo shirt neatly folded on the night stand on her right. It was clearly for her. She picked it up wearily and stood up, she felt extremely sore everywhere and particularly worse between her legs.
She buttoned the polo shirt and on her it looked like a dress. She cautiously and carefully stepped out of the bedroom. Because of the rush last night, she wasn’t able to study the apartment when they entered. And as she looked at the living space, she was completely in awe.
She thought that maybe she was dreaming. The bedroom she would describe as grim, but the living room looked as though it was heaven’s lounge. If she thought that the bedroom was way too big for one man, what she could see of the apartment from where she stood, could not justify a single person owning such a space.
White, gold and glass, that was all she could see, and it stretched out till the back. But she still did not see Damian. Exactly, who was this man?
She was absolutely intimidated.
“Raven?” She heard his voice and he stepped out through an archway she could not see from where she was. He was holding a plate of food; he wore a white shirt and plain black boxers. “I was going to give you breakfast in bed.” He said and she could hear her heart pounding in her chest. She was unsure of her situation.
This was not how she thought her possible morning could be after her first intercourse.
“Would you like to have breakfast in the kitchen?” He asked patiently, seeing her nervousness.
“I couldn’t find my clothes.” She stated something they both already knew, but he gave her a patient smile.
“Well, I went and washed them.” Her eyes widened in response and he couldn’t help but chuckle.
“It’s not a big deal,” He told her, but the actual truth was: that was the first time he ever washed someone else’s clothes for them. “I’ve already seen you without them after all.” He added nonchalantly.
“No-no you didn’t have to do that!” Her face was completely red at his implication and him washing her clothes for her, even her underwear was an embarrassing thought as it was. Even though he did remove them himself last night, she was still very embarrassed at having a virtually male stranger wash her clothes– especially her undergarments for her.
“Relax, it really isn’t a big deal. I honestly didn’t want you to wear them as you go down. I don’t want to have you do a walk of shame.” He smiled charismatically at her. Raven’s initial self-consciousness was gone for a moment.
“But-but that is what I get, I- I did go here—” She couldn’t finish her words, her face completely red recalling the long, long night they had.
“I was supposed to slip out at night. A one night-stand.” Raven confessed abruptly and awkwardly as she took a step forward. Hearing her confession Damian couldn’t help but feel a thump in his chest. He really did not understand why he would react that way towards a stranger. But she smiled at him and he forgot about the concerning and abnormal thump.
“It’s alright, you are inexperienced.” Her eyes flickered at his comment but she chuckled instead. Unconsciously she took a step forward and walked her way to him and he gave her a genuine smile.
“Uhm, so if my clothes are being washed—” She started.
“Oh, I asked someone to buy you clothes.” He cut in and her face froze.
“Wha-what?” The thought of someone buying her undergarments crossed her mind and she felt a different kind of embarrassment surge through her.
Raven heard him laugh thus making her mind wander to him.
“This isn’t funny!”
“I’m sorry,” He contained his laughter and cleared his throat. “Honestly, don’t worry about it. I took the liberties and asked someone to get you a selection of clothes. And from what I know of your body—” He observed her with a slick smile, his green eyes noticing her small frame in the polo shirt he prepared for her, aroused something in him, it was his shirt after all, the sight she was giving him, well, he couldn’t deny that it was very sexy.
She felt his desire and saw his gaze show the faintest hint of lust and she couldn’t stop her body from heating up under his serious stare, but he suddenly cleared his throat.
“From what I could tell and know, I think I made some good estimates of your clothing size.” His eyes looked away from her and a small part of Raven felt disappointed. “And I even asked for a number of styles, in hopes that the likelihood of you liking something at least would be raised.”
“You didn’t have to…” She mumbled and he looked at her and simply shook his head.
“It’s the least I could do after I went all out on you like that.” And her face flared up again in remembrance of the passionate night. She was surprised her throat did not feel dry at all, but she could faintly feel the throbbing pain between her legs, something she had forgotten while conversing with Damian in her shame. Standing before the man who caused it, even though there was a significant distance between them, made the space between her legs feel empty.
She cleared her throat at the thought, her eyes slightly wide.
“You must be hungry. Would you like to have breakfast in the kitchen?” She looked at him for a moment then looked at the space beside him, where he had stepped out from. She was afraid her eyes would reveal her ignited desire and so she glanced away quickly.
“Yes, that would be lovely, thank you.” She mumbled, trudging towards him.
“The kitchen is here.” He said and she noticed the archway on her left. Even the kitchen looked like perfection of its own. There was another archway across the one they passed through. On her right upon entering was a six-seater dining table. It was made of glass and had white accents.
Damian set the plate he was holding in front of the other set of food that was identical to hers. She approached the seat he placed her plate on, and he pulled the chair for her.
There was an island counter made of grey marble on the space right of the dining table with bar stools on the side closest to the dining table. On the other side of the island counter was the fridge, sink, oven and the same grey marble that stretched horizontally to each end of the wall of the room.
“Your—your apartment is beautiful.” She mumbled as she heard herself gulp down her saliva. “I guess, you still won’t tell me who you are?” She nervously laughed and he shook his head with a faint smile on his lips.
“Let’s have some breakfast, I exhausted you too much last night, especially for your first time. My apologies.” Damian said politely as he waited for her to pick up her fork. The ache between her legs finally registered in her head when he reminded her of how thoroughly he released his desires on her.
“Thank you for the breakfast.” She said again as she picked up her fork.
“I’m actually quite curious about something.” He told her and she looked up from her meal. “You were a virgin up ‘til last night, right?” She nodded in response cautiously.
“It makes one wonder, if you kept it for that long, you must have been saving it for someone.” And he hit the mark on that, and he knew he did when her body stiffened. Before he could tell her that she didn’t have to say anything she looked at him softly with a smile.
“You’re not wrong.” She quietly began as she set the fork down. “I- I had a boyfriend.” He patiently waited for her story, her eyes seeming to enter a memory.
There was the slightest anger and jealousy in his heart at the thought of her thinking of a different man, especially someone she knew longer than him. And even the thought of him reacting the way he was right now did not cross Damian as an odd thing, he was more concerned about what kind of memory she has had with her boyfriend more than anything, even his peculiar reaction.
“In fact, we only ever dated one another. We dated when we were sixteen, and we were really in-love.” He frowned as she tucked her hair behind her ear, looking away from him and recalling good memories. Her eyes sparkled at the thought of her ex, and Damian lamented.
“He knew that I wanted to save myself for marriage.” Her eyes suddenly flicker at him, and Damian was startled and he couldn’t help but think that he didn’t have a good feeling of how this story would end.
“And he respected that. At first it was shy kisses on the cheeks, which lead to shy kisses on the lips, and then slightly longer kisses on the lips. Eventually we would make out, and then longer make out sessions. He knew I wanted to save myself for marriage. And it was perfect, we were happy.” Raven had a faint smile on her lips, her eyes had wandered onto Damian’s plate.
“As we grew older, we tested a few things, and he kept within the line. Kissing, groping and hickeys, it’s how it started. And then as time passed, he wanted more- he wanted to experience more. So, a hand job there, then a blow job and for some time it was alright. And then he wanted more. He knew I wanted to save myself, it’s why we compromised. It’s why I compromised, even though I didn’t want to do those things.” She closed her eyes briefly with a sigh. When she looked at Damian, he looked ashen.
“Did—” He hesitated, his eyes quivering, she blinked in surprise. “Did he force you?” He asked in such a low voice. He was scared for her and she smiled faintly, touched by his concern.
“I wouldn’t concede to what he wanted. And in the beginning, he respected that, but then he started saying that we would marry each other someday, so I should give myself to him completely. At that point, we were dating for almost six years already. And even if I was already in my twenties, I still wanted to save myself for marriage. He didn’t even formally propose to me.” Raven licked her lips as she leaned close to the table while her head was turned to the island counter on her right. Damian waited patiently.
“He started becoming colder, would stay out late and wouldn’t tell me. It took me some time to realize, maybe I was in denial—six years— you know” She sighed heavily. “The late nights, the swollen lips paired with lipstick stains on his clothes. The undeniable smell of a woman’s perfume. He was sleeping with other people because I was unwilling.” Raven felt like she could smell the perfumes of those women and she heard Damian’s breath hitch.
“I must be an idiot, because I still stayed with him quietly for a few more months. And he would pretend and say I love you like he wasn’t doing what he was doing. At that point I saw him in the act in the shadows. Even though other women were filling what I couldn’t, he became more aggressive in his advances with me.” She felt the anger in Damian from across the table, and as she noted his clenched fists, she came to realize that it was odd that she was comfortable sharing such a thing with him.
Raven placed a hand over his clenched fist on the table. “It’s clear he didn’t get what he wanted because it was my first-time last night.”
Damian’s eyes cleared a little with the reminder. A rueful smile on his lips.
“And don’t you worry, I broke it off a few months ago already.” Raven quickly clarified.
Damian thought that it was a detail she didn’t have to clarify in such a gleeful manner, but in the back of his mind, the fact was rather reassuring. it also fueled his possessiveness for the woman across from him.
“I had personal business in Gotham. It was also a good way to stay away from my boyfriend—” She realized what she had said and corrected quickly. “I mean my ex, sorry, I haven’t talked to anyone about him being my ex, it’s quite a foreign word.” She laughed awkwardly as she shook her head.
“Well, anyways, the thing I had to attend to—ended earlier than expected, and since I had free time, the thought crossed me: what if I took this opportunity to get rid of it? You know my virginity.” She waved her hand carelessly. “And that is how I ended up at the club. I wasn’t really thinking of finding someone and just doing it. I was half-hearted with the thought, but if it did happen, I planned to slip out in the middle of the night after the deed and I would finally not have it– my virginity.” She placed her elbow on the table as she covered her mouth and her cheeks turned pink.
“I obviously did not slip away last night.” She said embarrassedly and he chuckled in response. She glanced at him with a small pout.
“I’m glad you didn’t.” He quietly said, and she was taken aback by it.
She shook her head. “You probably say that to every woman who comes here.” She was stern in her words but she noticed the soft glance and small twinkle in his eyes and then he barely shook his head.
“You might not believe this, but I have never brought a woman in here before. You are the first.” Hearing this Raven’s eyes were slightly bigger than usual. “You clearly don’t believe me.” He laughed wholeheartedly, and she glanced down on her food, her face completely red.
“You really are. In fact, I don’t sleep with just anyone, I’m rather picky, I prefer to know them significantly enough to feel like sleeping with them casually.” He said before she could say anything, she glanced up at him. His green eyes were so clear, she knew he wasn’t lying.
“Well, there is a first for everything.” She responded gently. “In fact, last night was the best sleep I’ve ever had.” Damian was startled at what she had said, and his eyes sparkled even more and his smile grew wider and was so gentle. She knew what he was going to say before he said it.
“I honestly feel the same way.” And this time, Raven’s blush was not out of embarrassment but of love. It wasn’t crazy love, but it felt like she had met someone she really connected with.
“Your breakfast looks really good.” She said hoping that she didn’t look like some lovesick girl as she picked up her fork.
“Mmhm, I can think of other things that look good.” Even though she was looking and picking on her food, she could feel his gaze on her, and it made her entire body flush.
She cleared her throat as the doorbell rang. Her body quivered due to the sudden ringing of the bell and he chuckled as he stood up.
“That must be your clothes, why don’t you continue with breakfast while I go get it.” She looked at him as he stood up and left her in the kitchen.
Raven solemnly chewed on her food as she recalled her ex-boyfriend. It was odd, it felt like that happened years ago, when in fact, it was at least six months ago. A lot has happened since then. Although that whole situation was messed up as it already was even then.
“I laid the clothes down on the bed for you to choose from.” Was the first thing Damian said as he re-entered the kitchen. And seeing her look so serious with vacant eyes, made his heartstrings strained.
“Hey, are you alright?” He asked as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“Hm?” She looked up at him, her violet eyes looking less hazy. “Sorry, I was just thinking.”
“Thinking of what?” His tone was as light as he could muster, trying to give her peace of mind.
“That I really screwed up this potential one-night stand.” She laughed and he smiled hearing her soft laughter. Finding that he was not offended by her comment at all, as he could feel that she was teasing him. But he was genuinely glad that she didn’t slip out last night, not that she could with the way he held her.
“I think you should be flattered, you’re the first girl to ever see my apartment. And the first person who gets to taste my cooking!” He smiled at her, his eyes looking like the stars for Raven and she felt her cheeks flushed.
“Your cooking is really good.” She mumbled and he laughed.
“Well, I was extra careful, I was kind of trying to impress someone.” He leaned onto the table towards her, and she avoided his stare. “I just hope I’m a better cook than your ex.” He added lightly and she laughed.
“Oh, you definitely are.” She took a big bite of her food as she looked at him. “I hope you’d eat with me though, that is something he hasn’t done in so long.” He looked at her with furrowed brows and a thin line on his lips.
“Of course.” He finally said, picking his fork up.
“So, are you going to tell me who you are?” Raven opened up again and he burst into fits of laughter, shaking his head.
“No. I’d rather not ruin this moment.” He sounded very warm and welcoming, and Raven finally understood that his smile was so contagious. She couldn’t help but smile back at him, holding in a giggle.
“I just hope you’re not a criminal, you know?” She teased, and he quickly shook head.
“No. No! I am not!” But for a second there was a darkness in his eyes that she had detected.
“I just wouldn’t want to be left in a ditch somewhere. You just seem way too good to be true.” She quietly assessed as she took another bite.
“I’m not a bad person.” He reassured her and then hesitated. “Well, at least I’d like to think I’m not.”
She peered at him in confusion and spoke in certainty. “I don’t think you are.”
And Damian was completely taken blind-sided by her. And they continued on with their breakfast with such a warm and loving aura around them. It felt like they had known each other longer than their passionate evening yesterday. For the first time, Damian felt his apartment was filled with warmth, not the sheer coldness it always had.
“Oh, I hope you took your pill.” Damian recalled that they were fucking raw last night and Raven stopped drinking her orange juice.
“I have something to confess…” Raven mumbled and Damian actually felt fear. Was this all a trick? He’s mind feeling fragile, he didn’t want this to be a trick, he actually liked her. And to him, liking someone did not come so easily as this.
“I’ve– I’ve never been under the pill before, so there is that, but I do plan to take it if the deed did happen.” Raven avoided looking at his face in fear that he would show disdain towards her.
“Oh, that’s alright. I should have been more cautious and used a condom.”
“No– I was glad you didn’t, so I got to experience that…” Her face flushed “The way I did, uhm, the birth control is in my bag.” She cleared her throat.
“Alright, that is in the living room, I can go and get it real quick for you.” She nodded and she watched him stand up and leave. He returned with her bag and she smiled as she took it.
Raven held the birth control and took the first pill and downed it with orange juice.
“At least you get to see me drink it, not that I wouldn’t…but a witness is better than none.” Raven smiled at him and he smiled back.
Damian picked up his fork and continued eating, staring at the woman across from him.
“I’m glad you didn’t slip away last night.” He muttered under his breath and she looked up at him, her smile disappearing.
“What?” She asked not hearing his words.
“I’m glad we met.” He smiled at her, and she knew that wasn’t what he had initially said. It was what her gut was telling her, but his eyes were clearly telling her he wasn’t lying too.
“I’m glad too.” A simple and honest response.
When they finished their breakfast, she offered to help him clean. And he insisted that she didn’t have to.
“Why don’t you go take a shower instead.” He suggested.
“I should at least help you clean.” Raven muttered, the pair standing by the sink beside one another.
“You must be feeling sore, I think a hot shower would help you.” He whispered as he turned to her, and her mind was brought back to last night.
“I actually forget about the ache.” She whispered back, the pain completely forgotten, now it just felt like she was empty again.
“Still, a warm shower would really feel good.” He turned his back to the sink, trying not to think about the look on her face that was making him think naughty things.
“I don’t even know where the shower is.” Damian glanced back at her seriously and nodded.
“Here let me show you.” He placed down the plate he was holding and guided her out of the kitchen and back to the living room. Mid-way he realized that it would be odd to guide her there. He stopped in his tracks abruptly.
“There is a bathroom in my bedroom, the doors on the right, the left one is the shower.” He quickly explained turning to her who was startled that he stopped but nodded in response to his instructions. Raven was nearing his bedroom door and he had just turned around to return to the kitchen.
“Uh, wait.” Raven suddenly called out, turning to look at him and he turned around too looking concerned, her face red.
“Tha-thank you for your hospitality.” Raven shyly spoke and he nodded because words could not seem to come out of his lips. She entered his bedroom, her face feeling so red and recalled that he had laid the clothes on his bed and was shocked to see the amount of clothes he had prepared for her.
Raven was beyond mesmerized and shocked at the amount of clothes prepared, even the undergarments. Aside from different styles, there are also different color palettes. Damian didn’t even forget to add in accessories and shoes. She was certain the man she had slept with was some big shot. And that big shot had gone through extreme lengths for her.
Raven felt rather intimidated by all the clothing choices laid before her, and so she retreated into his shower instead. In the little hall there were only two doors, one on the left which was a white door and another on the right. She recalled that he told her to go to the one on the left and so she opened the door knob and was heavily astounded.
Even his bathroom was surely not meant for one person.
Raven was certain that it could be some spa room at a five-star hotel or something.
The place had white, black and gold. The floor tiles were white. The walls black.
Damian had a jacuzzi, a big space in the center for who knows what with a marble bench, an area for showering that had a glass wall and door which had a marble bench inside. By the shower area there are two sinks in front of a mirror that reached his ceiling.
Raven noticed that by the sink, there was a clean set of neatly stacked and rolled towels in white and black on the shelves on either side of the sink. She even happened to glance at all the expensive products by the sink as she picked a towel. She stared at the white towel in her hand and wondered if she could even afford dirtying it.
Raven sighed heavily and dragged her feet into his shower area. Her hands shaking as she opened the glass door, wondering if she broke the glass could she even afford to replace it if she sold her kidney. The pale woman froze when she saw his shampoo and soap and other necessities inside the shower area.
“Who-who is this man.” She muttered with shaky fingers, even his bathing things were too expensive to use. Did he expect her to use these? Should she have asked him to buy her toiletries instead of all the clothing options he gave her?
Raven took a deep breath and calmed herself down.
“He let you shower– it means you can use everything here.” She mumbled to herself trying to gain confidence.
Eventually Raven was able to shower and found confidence to even look around his bathroom for a spare toothbrush, which she found and used.
He was right though, she felt rather refreshed after the shower, or perhaps it was because the shower was expensive that she felt the need for it to be the most refreshing thing she had ever experienced in her life. And in all honesty, this was probably the closest she would get to living such a rich life.
she also realized something, he did quite the number on her body, she was peppered with so many hickeys.
Raven stepped out of his enormous bathroom to be greeted with an even bigger bedroom, and was instantly intimidated by the clothing on the bed. She had forgotten about that.
She was as dry as she possibly could be as she walked to the bed and studied a piece of clothing that she had refused to check, at least not until she showered. And well, the time has now come.
Raven was dumbfounded by the branding tag of the dress on her hand. And she checked the brands of the clothes in front of her and even the undergarments. They were all exclusive and expensive brands. Damian really went all out for her. He had even removed all the price tags and so she can’t identify the price for each clothing. But she knew well that the names she could recognize were high-end brands.
How could she possibly wear any of these?
Raven couldn’t exactly pick the cheapest items based on the non-existent price tag, so she went for the second best. Choosing simple pieces to wear instead.
Like the black mid-thigh skirt, and a simple white shirt, but it might be a bit too cold, so she could wear those black tights underneath– or maybe wearing a dress would be better. But didn’t a dress cost more than a shirt and a skirt?
Raven contemplated what to wear, and decided on one thing with certainty: she would have to wear the shoes she wore last night.
Raven finally decided to wear a simple pair of undergarments that surprisingly fit her perfectly, but she supposed Damian must have checked the sizes of her undergarments last night to get such a good fit. Then she wore the plainest clothes she could find. A black skirt that ended half-way from her knees and ankles, a white blouse with long sleeves and attempted to find her shoes but it wasn’t inside Damian’s bedroom.
In the very least, this outfit would also hide all the marks he left on her body. Thankfully the man didn’t put any on her neck, but the hickeys start from her collarbone.
Raven stared at the multitude of clothes and folded them neatly and stacked them, leaving the arranged shoes where they were, untouched by the bed. She sighed; he even got her eight pairs of shoes. This man was more than expensive and meticulous.
“Okay, just ask for your shoes and leave…” She mumbled to herself, patting her skirt nervously. “And your purse because you left it on the table.”
Raven cautiously stepped out of Damian’s bedroom anxiously.
“Oh, you’re done.” Damian’s voice startled Raven who had not noticed him. He was wearing jeans and a black shirt. He had a pair of dark lens shades on his shirt and a hat on one hand and a jacket slung over the arm. “While you were in my bedroom shower, I grabbed some clothes from my closet and took a shower in the bathroom.”
“Oh…” Raven mumbled, stepping fully out of his bedroom and awkwardly rubbing her arm and he studied her.
“I didn’t expect that you would wear that.” He remarked but clear amusement and respect was seen in his eyes. “It suits you well, Raven.”
“Oh… well… you know there are way too many clothes in there, I don’t think that was necessary, but thank you for giving me new clothes– I- I don’t know how to repay you.”
Damian raised a brow at her, “Repay me? No, I didn’t buy those clothes for you to repay me, Raven.” She looked hesitant and then he added, “You have to bring all those clothes back with you, it’s all for you.”
“Oh no, no, no. That is too much.” Raven instantly replied to his offer with some hand gestures.
“Well, I am not going to wear them, Raven.” He shrugged and she couldn’t help but giggle at the mental image he had placed in her, he did put some nice lace outfits on the mix.
“But it’s too much…” She cleared her throat, the simple one-night stand seemed to be more complicated than simple.
“You keep them, I insist.” His confidence seemed to tell her that he won’t take no for an answer, “And you seem to be the type to bring your clothes back with you… well, while they are still drying… Can I be so bold to ask you out? You did say you’re not from Gotham, right?”
Raven looked at him confused and startled.
“If you insist that it’s too much, how about I ask for you to let me tour you around the city as payment?” He smiled at her mischievously and she couldn’t help but playfully roll her eyes at him.
“You and I both know that is utter pennies in comparison to the amount you must have spent on my wardrobe. The clothes you bought me, “Raven pointed at his bedroom door, “Could literally cloth me for two weeks– a month if I mix and match them well.”
Damian merely sheepishly shrugged his shoulders and the sight was rather endearing.
Raven found herself biting her lower lip, “Things that happen in Gotham, I suppose stay in Gotham.” His green eyes steadily gaze at her lips. “I guess… if you insist, then paying you back for the clothes with you touring me in Gotham is fair.”
He smiled at her and she was mesmerized by his beauty.
“Great.” His sparkly white and perfectly straight teeth flashed at her, making Raven recall that his man was very different from her. He put on the hat, shades and jacket. “I hope you don’t mind if I look like this, if you haven’t noticed, I am kind of a big-shot, these are just safety precautions.”
Raven laughed as she glanced down on the floor with a little shake of her head, “Oh, I think I have noticed self-proclaimed big-shot.”
Damian’s smile widened at her playful tone.
“Would this humble, big-shot tell me who he is?” She ventured again and he shook his head but his eyes still sparkling in admiration and laughter at her. “Then I guess I will never know how big is big.” Raven shrugged.
“Well then, Raven–”
“Roth.” She added and he smiled.
“Raven Roth.” The smile on his lips was contagious and the way he called her name felt warm. “Would you give me the honors of showing you what greatness Gotham has to offer?”
“Yes, I’d love that, Damian.” She smiled back.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~
The two returned to the apartment rather late, and the two were laughing, Raven entering the space first and Damian followed behind her.
Damian couldn’t help but note that Raven entered his penthouse as if she had been living there for a while now. And in all honesty, seeing her like that felt right.
“Thank you for today, I had so much fun.” Raven turned around staring at the man before her. He was such a mystery and he was removing his little disguise.
“It was so nice meeting you. I had a wonderful day.” Raven spoke in such a dreamy manner and Damian couldn’t help but lick his lips.
“Why don’t you take a shower?” She was startled by his offer but ultimately nodded.
Raven removed her combat boots and placed them at his hidden shoe rack that he had shown her earlier before they left. She stole a glance at him as she retreated back into his bedroom and he nodded.
It felt right for her to be in his space, which was a rather unusual thing for him.
Raven looked back with flushed cheeks, his bedroom door open and a hand on his doorsill, “Hey, Damian?”
“Uh, Yeah?” He replied, stopping midway from taking off his shoes.
“Would you like to join me in the shower?” She barely uttered and he looked like he was punched suddenly. The shoe that he was holding fell on the floor. “Oh, uhm… if you don’t want to–”
“No, I want to!” He cut her off quickly, his eyes wide as he approached her. He still had one shoe on his foot and he removed that as he made his way to her. He was normally a very neat and kept person, but sometimes– being unorganized is fine too.
Damian rushed to her side, placing a hand by her hand on the doorsill, “Are you sure?”
Raven deeply inhaled and his scent filled her lungs, he was so close, and she wanted him, she wanted to kiss him. Maybe sometimes being unreserved is fine too.
Raven has been doing things she normally wouldn’t do since she went to Gotham, so why stop now?
She stood on her tippy toes, placed her fingers on his strong jawline and kissed him. “Yes, I am sure.”
And Damian kissed her back passionately.
“I’ve never tried doing it in the shower.” He chuckled at her confession when he was busy kissing her neck, an odd thing to say for a first timer.
Of course, she hasn’t tried shower sex before, she didn’t even try intercourse before him. But it made Damian’s heart flare up at the thought that she wanted to have another milestone with him, of all people she wanted him.
“Then, I will make it special.” He said as he went closer to her. He reached for her hand and held it gently. His lips found hers again and he lifted her up easily once more, this time his destination was his bathroom.
~.~.~.~.~.~.
Author’s Notes:
This was a genuine struggle to make. This is also supposed to be my Damirae Week 2020 week prompt (First and Last)….so I will still tag that as is, but man this fic, I almost deleted it.
Man. This has been stuck in WIP Graveyard for like 1-2 years, and I decided to just post it.
This is supposed to be a 3-parter. All I have made is this sadly. Maybe you guys will see an update, or maybe not. idk.
I hope you guys like it, and I will try and write the continuation, but only time will tell.
Initially, I only wanted to post this until I finished all the three parts, but this was stuck in my WIP for too long and part 2 & 3 have not even one word in it… so now I have decided to just post it.
Hope you guys like it.
I genuinely have mixed feelings, I love this, but it also gave me quite the negative emotions for this piece. Which I shall just contain and forget.
I’d like to say, that I am grateful to be safe from the typhoon that passed by the Philippines a few days ago. I’d like to ask whoever is reading this to please pray and hope for the best for everyone who was hit by this destruction.
~.~.~.~.~.~.
I have lived and stayed at the same place for so many years.
This was my home.
Home had red skies with red orange liquid streaming way down below me. The towers of dark brown rocks stretched to the horizons. My spot in this place was at the top of one of those big mountain rocks.
Whenever I wake up, the scenery is always the same, nothing ever changes in my world, my home.
I had awoken from a long slumber and I was greeted with the same view when I had fallen asleep. Nothing ever changes here and I have come to enjoy this fact.
Red skies that stretched for miles and bright molten liquid streaming down below. Big giant towers of rocks erected around me and the temperature was as it always had been, hot– burning hot.
This didn’t bother me though as this had always been home. I was simply used to it. The same thing could be said about the other residents here.
They were similar, no– they genuinely looked the same. White hair with black horns, yellow eyes, red skin and the same piece of clothing that oddly covered their legs.
They too didn’t seem to mind the scorching heat.
And so, I returned to my slumber, because nothing ever changes in my home. I would simply wake every now and then to be greeted by the same environment I love: the red skies, the towers of rocks, the red liquid and the residents. And home was very warm.
And then one day, I felt something heavy lean against me, and so I was undoubtedly stirred awake. No one ever bothered me, and so I was confused as to why anyone would dare to now.
Something was gently splattering on me, later on, I would find out it was called tears.
Fully awake now, I realized that you were different from the other residents here.
You had black hair that stopped way past your chin, violet eyes and pale skin. So very different indeed from the residents here; where their skin was mostly left bare, yours was clad in more fabric than I have ever seen them wear.
You were greatly smaller than them in terms of structure– very different indeed.
You said it was scary here.
You said you hated it here.
You said: that after all you’ve done, you deserved to be in hell.
I did not get it– was hell bad?
But this was my home, and my heart ached when you said such things about it.
Was hell really that bad?
I understood that you hated this place so much. It felt like your voice was dripping with hatred.
I decided, I will return to sleep instead. I didn’t want you to ruin my view of my beloved home. Perhaps when I wake up again, you who were greatly different from the constant that I have known, will leave too.
When I wake again you will be gone and I can just think of you as an odd dream. So very odd to dream about someone like you, since you were the first you I had ever seen.
But you often came to visit me and at first it brought me great distress. You were not a dream, a figment of my imagination. I truly wished you were– but I guess it wouldn’t make sense to have thought of you so vividly when you were the first you I had seen.
I never thought it was possible to have clothes the same shade as the hair of the resident’s here. This was such an interesting thought to have, now that I have realized this peculiarity.
Well, I guess you are now a resident here too. The resident anomaly.
You always wept over the same things.
How much you hated it here.
How scary it was.
How scary your father was.
How scary your brothers were– in the very least this information was new. The residents here, who all looked like one another, were your brothers.
Brothers, I wonder if I had any.
But why didn’t you look anything like them?
Why did you have black hair? Why are you wearing more clothes than them? Why is your stature smaller?
These were questions I had no answers to.
Eventually your grievances will start to decrease but the damage is already done, your words have already been planted in me and swayed me. But at this moment, this is something I have not realized yet.
Perhaps my home really was just as awful as you had told me. I just hadn’t realized it because this was home for way too long.
The sky was a ugly and unnatural color. The temperature was more than just too hot, and the red liquid beneath was just contributing to the unbearable heat. The same rock formations that stretched for miles in all directions was very annoying too.
These were things I came to feel about because of you.
You talked about a place you loved dearly that you had brought to its own doom.
And listening to you, I too started to believe: that maybe you did deserve to be in hell.
I wanted to see the world you claimed you brought to its own demise. I wanted to see how beautiful it was for you to call my home ugly and dreadful– and deserving for someone who had brought death to an entire planet.
You made me want to see more than what I have always been happy with– my home that you called hell.
An existence that used to bring me agony then became annoying which eventually became endearing– you became so very endearing to me. I didn’t know when it happened, but it did, and with that fondness that grew it became a root of frustration for me too.
That should have been a sign that you, who was different, would bring another unexpected variable to my once unchanging life. That my world would be changed again.
That I would be changed.
It was such a clear sign, I should have known better. At this point it is clear that you are a catalyst for change.
I remember that day. You came running to me, you who looked so determined. I wondered why, what could possibly make you look so strong and brave. I wondered what you could possibly do to make such an expression, your motivation and drive.
And then you broke me.
At least, there was another unexpected outcome from you breaking me. I finally saw how similar you are to your brothers. And yet, still, so greatly different.
Their bodies looked so stiff and hard, and yet you, even with red skin, and two sets of yellow eyes, retained the same black hair I’ve always known you by, still looked soft and fragile with the curves your brothers did not possess. Even with your black horns, I could not fully say you and your brothers were the same.
And yet, you and them are similar enough.
You hated them, you said they were cruel– your brothers and father. Weren’t you the same?
I didn’t want to be broken. I was full, and now I was just– not even a significant fraction of what I used to be. You broke me without a second thought and placed so much anger and hatred in me.
You called it Trigon.
I was reduced to pieces. I, who had lived here for centuries.
I, who lived under the same red sky, the same towering mountain, above the same orange liquid for centuries.
I, who had asked for nothing and received peace and quiet in return, on the spot I have always been–was broken by a variable Trigon called: Little Girl.
You placed me on the center of your face between what you called brows and there I stayed.
I wondered for how long would I stay against your skin, since now I have come to know that there is nothing but impermanence for me now.
Since your arrival it seems that all I have for my future is momentariness. Something foreign to me has now become the only thing I should expect because of you.
You, the harbinger of nothing but fleeting moments. And me, the one forced to deal with the repercussions you bring.
Soon, I found out that Trigon was who you had said was scary and was your father.
I wondered if all father’s made their daughters feel that way.
That was what he called you: daughter.
You ungrateful daughter, I will make you pay for this treachery, were words I often heard. The anger in his words would seep into me slowly, this at least I could foresee.
After all, I did get swayed by your words about my beloved home and you only visited me a little too often than I would have liked. But this time you have placed your father inside of me, I foresee that I will be influenced even faster by your father than your presence that kept coming to me that time I was still whole.
After you trapped Trigon inside of me, you abandoned my home, abandoned your brothers and you brought me with you to a different world.
And yet again, another change.
I had no say on the matter, after all I was forever stuck on your forehead. I wondered if I would forever be housing Trigon within me too.
But this place was so, so, different from my home. I thought that hell was beautiful, but I was wrong, this place you called Earth was even more beautiful.
I came to like it here.
Earth.
You met people that looked like you, not with your red skin when you were entrapping your father inside of me, since it is only your brothers who had such a skin colour, but that of your pale skin but they had different shades and tones, and even that was so beautiful.
Everything was so new.
They asked for your name, and I realized, I never knew your name after all these years. Or I hadn’t paid attention, it might have shown how little I actually cared for you.
Raven, was your simple response. After how many years together, I now know your name.
A name. I wonder if I had one.
For the first time, this change was something I really loved more than my home that you called hell. Living in this place, you and the ones that look like you, called Earth.
The water here was different, it was like an accumulation of your tears. It was blue and vast and had many shapes. The ground here had so many living creatures, from what you called insects to plants to animals– to you, different looking creatures that almost looked like you– humans, that’s what they are.
I loved it here so much, but the appreciation for the new was difficult with your father constantly yelling: You ungrateful daughter!
I ignore it as best as I can because I wanted to love this unique place that could not compare to home. But still, I missed the red sky and what you called lava.
But I was now stuck to you, where you are is where I will be. So I pushed your father’s angry and hateful words away. I pushed the longing for my beloved home away too. And I tried my best to live and love the place you have brought me to instead.
This majestic place you called Earth.
And then you fell in love.
Love.
What a weird feeling it was. What a weird thing to feel for someone that looked like you– almost like you.
Green eyes, black hair, tan skin that was toned.
A toned body– that was what your brothers had, oddly, I missed them. Their unchanging presence from the years I have lived with them. I really missed them.
It was odd to love what you called a person. You do love him a lot. And it was even more odd that I could feel your love for him.
You loved his smile, this man with green eyes and black hair. I, too, came to be very fond of him.
You called him Damian.
And he called you, Beloved.
Did you have many names? Why are you called Raven and Beloved?
Do I have multiple names too?
But at this point, I was already struggling so much. It was so difficult not to be affected by your father’s presence inside of me.
I have come to loathe you.
You ungrateful daughter, trapping me in this stone, you will regret it! I will kill him!
Is that my name? Stone?
But I didn’t ask to be shattered into many pieces either. Trigon always complained about the injustice, the betrayal, and the pay back he will surely give you, Raven. But no one asked me if I wanted to house such darkness, negativity, pain, loathing and anger.
No one asked me.
And so, that was how I came to loathe you too, exactly the way your father felt about you, maybe because he has been in me for way too long.
You did not ask me if I wanted to be broken and hold your father within me. You did not ask me if I wanted to leave my beautiful, beautiful home. You did not ask me if I was feeling alright.
But then, I saw you smile from a wall that reflected you and Damian. I heard what people called laughter from you, and I saw myself against your head.
I was red. Red. It was the color of my home– I was the color of my home– hell.
I couldn’t bring myself to loathe you. Not like this, not because of your father– especially not when I had finally seen and heard you so… happy. Not when I can feel that happiness too.
You gave me happiness and love, just as much as Trigon gave me anger and hate.
I didn’t want to hate you, Raven, not when Damian made you so happy. Not when I also shared and relished the happiness you were feeling. And yet, the same could be said about your father’s effect on me– I shared and relished his anger on you too.
The days blurred as I struggled to balance myself between love and hate, anger and happiness. And then you placed a vast darkness around your father– cutting him off from the world you are currently living in.
You did this because you were hiding what you and Damian do when you two are alone. I, however, was not immune to Trigon’s anger, in fact, it has also become mine. I, too, was not immune to you numbing your father out from what you do and what you see because I wasn’t the one inside the stone.
I saw and heard what you and Damian do. And I felt the love you two had for one another.
You and Damian seemed happy, in the very least, and that alone anchored me to at least try and fight the pure rage inside of me that was always boiling and on certain days, boiling so much I can’t help but get confused in the loathing that wasn’t mine in the first place.
I hated you, Raven, but also didn’t want to.
You brat! Give me back my sight!
Your father would yell when you pull such a stunt. He would yell for you to return his sight back, to let him hear and see and know exactly what you are doing. But you won’t and for those times when you do such a thing, you do not feel him. But I still do. And amidst this, the warmth you have for Damian, and his warmth towards you was a stark difference to the boiling heat inside of me due to your father.
This too would help anchor me.
You cannot always keep your father in the dark because it would be too straining for you, but I know you are very capable, Raven.
Your life on Earth has also made me realize the importance of life. It made me understand why you hated your father. Although, I admit in my part, it took a little too long for me to comprehend.
You have to understand, you have placed Trigon inside of me.
The drive you, your boyfriend and peers have to protect life made me understand that life had a value. And yet, why was I not part of that equation?
Was I not life? Is my life too insignificant to be considered?
It seemed that your father’s effect on me has run too deep. I seem to keep going back to the same thing, a hatred towards you that cannot be fully resolved. I had foreseen this, I shouldn’t be so surprised.
Your father will always be angry at you and would seek release from his confinement, and I would be swayed by his anger and think of it as mine. And then I would recall the peace and tranquility I had in my home that I missed for so long now but chose to ignore, and then after that, I would be filled with guilt.
Because, after all, how could I hate you?
You too had not asked for this. You too are suffering because of your father.
But at least you were happy, in the arms of a man with green eyes, who had at least contributed to this warmth I came to love too.
I decided that perhaps, it is better to slumber again and never wake. Perhaps it is better to be strong enough to hold onto Trigon and let you live your life. At least if I go back to sleep, I can still see my home.
Still see and live through a time that has long passed.
I used to live a quiet life, in a world where the sky was red and the water was burning hot, which now I know is called lava.
But it was home and I loved it.
The beings that lived there in that hot climate were all men with red skin, white hair with black horns and yellow eyes. And oh how oddly they were clad.
And then she came.
Broke me to many pieces and that alone gave me the understanding of life.
I hope for the best for you and him– Damian. I hope I will not shatter in even little more pieces so that your father will forever be inside of me, so that, in the very least, you get to live a peaceful life.
This, I truly want for you.
Despite the fact that I did not ask to be broken and be brought here, I truly do love what you have come to love.
And for you to live a peaceful life, I shall fall into the deepest slumber I have ever gone into, and never wake. In this, I can guarantee that I would not be swayed by your father’s aggravations and feel myself weaken because of it. In this, I can secure your happiness.
I will just be a stone.
As I was and always had been a stone.
As I fell into my slumber, I saw the red sky and I recalled I used to be bigger than what I was now. The residents here looked so similar. And it was always so very warm.
I will get out of here Raven! You will regret this!
No, you won’t get out of here Trigon. I will be your prison for all eternity if it has to be. And with that I felt my outer layer harden even more and my final consciousness dissipates.
Everyone called me a stone.
If a stone was to be cold and hard, you were probably the same. After all, you did not think twice when you thought of breaking me Raven.
A shadow came rushing and stumbling down the cavern with another figure in their arms. When the flickers of the fire reached the two figures it was then clear who had arrived.
Damian Wayne- or Al Ghul, whatever it is he carried as his last name, looked frightened for his life. He had scratches and flesh wounds around his body, blood trickling down his forehead. But it was the woman in white robes that was stained with blood and dirt in his arms that looked far worse than him. In fact, she looked a tinge blue and she was holding onto her stomach trying to stop the bleeding from a wound there, but it clearly wasn’t working as she was dripping blood on their tracks.
She coughed blood as she tried to talk, Damian looked down at the woman. Her black bob hair was wet from her sweat mixed with blood.
“Please, Raven, don’t try to talk.” Came Damian’s shaky voice as he continued to stumble as he carried her. “We’re almost there.” His eyes locked at the green liquid that was too many paces too far from them, it might as well have been a mile. But he had brought her here, he was so close.
“Please just hold on.” His tone was begging, desperate.
Raven tried to pick herself up, pull herself by his shoulder, and he froze for a second as he looked at her with wide eyes.
“N-no, we-we don’t know how it will affect me.” She struggled as she tried to get out of his hold. His eyes darkened as he firmly held her in place, he looked ahead at the goal clearly in front of him.
He continued to walk, “I don’t care.” His paces were heavy as he was extremely weak, but he would not lose her, not when the Lazarus Pit could help her. Not when it was clearly in front of them.
“Da-damian.” She begged and then coughed blood.
“Stop talking.” His always firm voice was weak and begging, scared and hurt and so very afraid of losing her. He was afraid his name would be the last words she said, and barely with any strength. She never spoke his name so weakly until now and this fact alone made his heart ache deeply.
“Almost there.” He mumbled more to himself than to Raven. He had been mumbling encouraging words to himself, it was all he could do to keep himself sane.
“We don’t know how this will affect me or the pit.” She begged as the tears fell from her eyes and she clenched his chest.
“I don’t fucking care!” He yelled; the pain he didn’t want to manifest came as hot streaks of water from his eyes down to his cheeks.
He will not lose her, not when that vile pit existed. He continued to walk with a reignited desire to save her. The only goal in his mind, the only option, whatever comes after he would face head on as long as she was breathing and alive.
“Damian.” Raven wept but he could not be stopped. He will use the pit to save her from this fatal wound, from death’s door.
Raven wanted to call out his name again, but found that she was growing weaker, and saying his name only hurt in more ways than one. So she endured as tears fell down her cheeks too.
Who would have thought that she would see Damian cry like this? She never thought she’d see him this broken because of her.
Raven hurled and blood came out of her mouth as she coughed. Damian could only squeeze her in his arms. Almost there was the thought that made him power through the pain.
Raven’s eyes were shut as she tried to cough the blood out of her throat and willed herself to make it till he placed her into the pit. At the very least, she should try and make herself conscious till then. She didn’t want him to put her into the pit, but he wanted to– he had to, she felt his desperation as if it was hers. And so she will let him, it wasn’t like she had the strength to fight him anyways.
“Raven.” He stared at her for a second as they stood before the pit.
“I love you.” She said in reply to him calling her name as he walked into the pit and he held her closely to his chest and submerged her into the waters.
“I love you.” She whispered again as a tear slipped from her eye before her face was fully submerged. But he never said the words back, even when she repeated them.
Damian concluded that his wounds didn’t matter, they were nothing but flesh wounds and so he stepped out of the pit and waited for her on the side. She would need him in case she turned insane because of the pit’s after effects.
And so, Damian waited, in the quiet cave with flickering torchlights for the woman he loved that was dying to be fully revitalized.
But the wait was agonizing and longer than he expected. He then became too worried; he couldn’t look at the pit that had no signs of life so he turned his back on it.
Why was it not working? Was it because of the pits’ origins? Raven did warn him– they didn’t know how it would affect her.
Damian felt helpless kneeling on the floor, his back against the pit and his palms on the ground as his eyes burned due to the tears.
He couldn’t be without her. This had to work. He found himself praying to whatever entity that would hear him to– at least make it work.
Please.
But the wait continued on and the quiet cavern was now filled with a sickening silence that Damian hated more as the minutes passed.
He didn’t know how long he waited but enough time passed that he finally felt hopeless and resigned.
The Lazarus Pit probably couldn’t cure her. He wasn’t even able to tell her that he loved her, tears fell from his eyes and it did not stop. He didn’t want to say them because he thought he still had the chance once the pit healed her.
Damian squeezed his eyes and sobbed.
Raven was gone.
“Damian?” Hearing Raven’s careful voice was indescribable. Damian gasped at the sound and turned to look at her, the surprise in his face disappeared and quickly matched the confusion she had.
Raven stood in an empty pit. The vile green liquid he knew as the Lazarus Pit was gone.
“Damian?” She called out again, this time her voice tinged with fear and he too was frightened. Raven coughed and that made him rush to her side. Damian slid down the pit even more scared than a moment ago.
Damian’s shaking fingers cupped her cheek and his other hand wiped her hair off her face. He was so frightened that the pit really didn’t work, but was cruel enough to give them this moment.
Raven continued to cough. The tears streaming down his face felt nonexistent. He was so terrified.
What if the coughing was the side effect of the pit working?
What if at the next second she will just fall and turn into a lifeless corpse?
Raven coughed again as she tried to pull away and Damian’s hand froze as he saw the familiar green liquid trickle down the corner of her lips.
Was it really just a cruel trick the Lazarus Pit was giving the couple, like a cruel last miracle to haunt him after?
“Damian?” Raven called his name again, but this time it was as weak as when she had called him moments before she entered the Lazarus Pit.
Raven’s knees gave in and she fell towards him and he frantically caught her but fell on his knees too.
“No, no…” The son of Batman heard his desperate cry. The tears on his face felt searingly hot once again.
But Raven, his beloved Raven, continued to cough green liquid from her pale lips. He propped her up with his knee and cradled her.
“No…” His voice was so soft and in pain that anyone who would have witnessed such a sight would wonder if he really was the heir of the Demon’s Head.
In Raven’s weakened state she attempted to lift her hand. Damian felt the movement and looked at her shaking hand that was midway towards him. He captured that hand and let it rest against his cheek. He couldn’t let her suffer anymore.
His green eyes stared at her ashen face.
There were no words that could be said now, they were both clearly in pain.
Raven’s eyes fluttered and Damian’s heart squeezed inside his chest.
No, he didn’t want her to close her eyes. Before his objections could be said, Raven’s eyes had closed.
Her breath soon followed and came to a stop.
And he heard his sharp inhale pierce through his ears as it bounced around him within the cavern.
His body automatically crouched over her head as he cradled her lifeless corpse. He found that his voice was hoarse. He wondered if he had been screaming in sorrow when she didn’t emerge instantly from the pit. Or maybe when he approached her in the empty pit, perhaps he was screaming.
Or maybe it was now. The ‘I Love You’, the ‘Don’t leave me’ and ‘This can’t be happening’ were not registering in his head. The phrases he kept repeating despite his hoarse throat and aching heart.
At one point, Damian just knew that he couldn’t find his voice and strength to vocally scream his pain anymore.
Raven was really gone. The pit was gone and she wasn’t even saved. Her body was cold and so was the space inside the cavern, it was so terribly cold. In fact, Damian could feel the chilliness inside his body too.
The useless piece of liquid didn’t even bring her back. The liquid disappeared but didn’t even return anything to him.
Damian’s sorrow was turning into anger and then suddenly a sharp inhale from lips that wasn’t his resonated through the empty cave and more importantly his ears.
He gasped as he looked down and stared at the lips of his beautiful lover.
Raven was gasping for air like she was a fish out of water, violet eyes open. Damian’s green eyes were wide as he saw green lines all over her face. He studied her briefly and found that it was her veins all over her body that were protruding and glowing a familiar shade of green– the Lazarus Pit’s shade. Aside from green veins there were similar green lines reaching into her eyes and he felt her body heat up.
She gasped loudly again and then silence. The green lines in Raven’s eyes disappeared along with her green veins as a faint greenish glow surrounded her entirety.
Then Raven became slack again.
Damian was left confused. He couldn’t hear her breathing for at least five seconds and then– soft even breathing.
Raven’s eyes opened and it revealed the same green as the Lazarus Pit instead of her usual violet hue. Damian was very perplexed and then she blinked and her green eyes were gone. Damian was now staring at the familiar violet shade that he knows and loves.
“Hello.” She sat up studying him, a small sly smile on her lips. It was like she wasn’t injured or in pain a few seconds prior, her tone was calm and collected. It somehow eased the agitation Damian was fighting within himself.
Did he want to know what happened?
Did he want to know the consequences of his actions?
Did it really matter?
Damian cupped both her cheeks and steadily held it in place as he studied her new found vitality. She smiled back at him with a tint of mischievousness and held his face in her hands by his jaws.
He had so many questions.
“I feel– very much alive.” Raven said with a sinister smile on her lips.
He should be afraid. But Damian was the son of Batman, a trained assassin who is the son of Talia Al Ghul and grandson of Ra’s Al Ghul, afraid was only a moment he felt when he thought he had lost her.
When he thought he lost his beloved Raven?
Clearly, she was alive perhaps altered a little, but alive and that was all that mattered.
Damian leaned his forehead against hers as he exhaled, his eyes locked on her eyes. With the same smile on her lips, she inhaled his breath.
It was clear that his future is now altered too.
How can he be a hero when villains would and could take everything from him? They had already tried taking Raven away from him permanently.
He often wondered why he was holding back when he had the Lazarus Pit and could save the love of his life at any time. If needed, Damian could use the pit to resurrect her. He didn’t imagine that he’d have to use the Pit to actually save his girlfriend that could heal virtually any wounds– except the one they were faced with that night. But now, there was no reassurance that he could use the pit if anything deadly was to happen to her.
Damian might have put her into the green waters of the pit as a hero but he emerged from this incident as a different man. He noticed the darkness in Raven’s eyes and he brushed the corner of her eyes gently.
He could not be Damian Wayne, not when he used the pit like this. The League of Assassin’s would not allow it anyways. He would also need the League’s resources and data about the pit now that the situation has become like this. Now that they were on an empty Lazarus Pit. He’d also have to pay the price for this.
He can clearly see that Raven was changed because of the pit. He wondered how the pit changed his lover.
“I’m still the same.” Raven replied in a steady manner as if she had read his mind, but there on her lips was still a sinister smile.
He knew she wasn’t the same.
“I love you.” He brushed her nose with his. Whatever has transpired here, he will stick by that decision. He decided that it is the best decision to become the next Demon’s head after all.
They were both changed that day.
The decision to become the next Demon’s Head proved to be the right thing to do in the coming days after Raven was revived.
Raven was the same for the most part, however, when she bled, she bled green liquid. The color of the Lazarus Pit and her wounds would instantly heal without using her magic to heal.
It didn’t take long for them to find out that all the Lazarus Pits were now nothing but empty pits.
She did warn him that they didn’t know how it would affect her or the pit. However, who would have thought that it would affect the pit itself in this way?
Raven was also more attuned to her demonic side and took pride and joy in extracting information for the League with whatever skill or method she has in her disposal. In a simple word: torture, she had come to marvel at such a dark thing.
Raven didn’t even affiliate herself as a hero anymore, she would kill without a second thought. She wouldn’t allow anyone who could possibly bring Damian’s demise to be alive. But her love for Damian was the same, be it him as a Wayne, an Al Ghul, a Titan– she still loved him the same.
The same thing could be said about Damian’s feelings for Raven. Maybe at first, he felt trepidation over her change but ultimately accepted them because it was simply the price that came in exchange for her life.
Since the fact that there is no more working Lazarus Pit, Damian could understand her willingness to kill. Without the pit, if he was heavily injured, he could not be healed, in fact he cannot prolong his life like what his grandfather did.
But Raven is the Daughter of Trigon, she will surely find a way to preserve her lover for as long as she lives. After all, the two would spare no expense for their partner.
The empty pits in multiple places that used to house green liquid that could heal and revive the dead is a clear proof of the kinds of lengths they were willing to go for one another.
Damian will live as long as Raven would, being Trigon’s daughter had its merits after all.
THE END.
~.~.~.~.~.~.
Author’s Notes:
This is actually not how I initially wanted to make this AU. I only realized AFTER I finished it. With that said, I plan to make the right one, entitled: Eternity (that’s the plan at least) Details would be different from this, if you are interested keep posted on my profile or something.
In a sterile white room devoid of any color and of any indication of ownership or personalization, laid a single figure on top of a white medical bed, white sheets tucked over her sternum. The room felt bright because of the color, it was also rather lonely and rather very empty—except for the pale woman with long purple hair that laid on the bed. An empty chair on her right side and bedside tables with nothing on top, on either side of her bed. Her hands laid on her sides and her eyes closed. There was no indication of movement except for her quiet breathing.
The door opened to reveal Damian Wayne in a white button up shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, black slacks and black dress shoes. Despite his neat outfit, his hair was a mess and his eyes were bloodshot with eyebags underneath. He looked as though he had not slept well at all—which was likely the case.
Afterall, he had not slept well since the day Raven got stabbed. There were good days and bad, now—today was a better day. He walked to the empty chair beside Raven’s right hand, his back facing the door. He sat on the chair and gazed longingly at the figure on the bed.
And he recalled what had transpired that night—the night that caused Raven’s current medical condition.
Raven had fallen and her eyes slowly fluttered close. He could tell that she was trying not to lose consciousness. Raven lifted a hand towards Damian and Garfield’s general direction making Damian wonder if she was trying to reach out to him or Garfield.
‘It had to be Garfield.’, He thought because it would not make sense if Raven was trying to reach out to him. Damian couldn’t help but feel very bitter inside. She would never choose him. She would unlikely want to hold him with her dying breath.
At this moment the creature was distracted by Tim who was on the other side, seeing this—Damian took the opportunity to run to Raven. He took note of the footsteps that followed behind him, Garfield was right behind him as they ran toward Raven.
Her raised hand was faltering and Damian felt as though his heart was about to jump out of his throat– out of fear.
No. You cannot close your eyes. I will not allow it!
Damian ran faster towards Raven and as her hand fell to the ground, he finally reached her side. But her eyes had also closed, and Damian held his breath as he– so very gently, held her in his arms.
“Raven! Raven!” He called to her frantically. “No. No. No. Don’t close your eyes, please come back, stay conscious!” His breathing was ragged, his heart beating loudly in his ears. Damian bit his lip and held his breath in a conscious manner, as he tried to calm himself, and think. He had to think.
“Raven! Oh god no.” Garfield stood hovering above Raven, and the next second he was reaching out to Raven. But Damian pulled her closer to him and gave Garfield the darkest and cruelest glare Garfield had ever seen. And Garfield froze, he took a deep breath and gulped down his fear.
“Gar…” Terra came running towards Garfield, and her eyes laid on Raven. “No, if-if she didn’t try to protect me—” Damian gave Terra the same glare Garfield received, making her unable to finish her thought. She froze in fear too.
“We have to stop her bleeding.” Damian absent-mindedly said, his voice cold, and as he scanned Raven’s wound, his eye twitched. Raven had a gaping hole on her chest, Damian did not want to think about it—but the situation was truly grim.
“How are you going to—” Garfield received another glare from Damian.
Damian was not asking or seeking their help to stop Raven’s bleeding, he had said what he had said to inform them only. He will deal with Raven’s injury, no one else is suitable.
Damian reached for something in his utility belt, and he pulled out three silver balls. His facial expression seemingly frozen in a cold and uncaring manner as he placed the one-inch sized ball strategically on her gaping wound. He placed one on top and two at the bottom, forming a triangle. It beeped and glowed a faint blue and from it came out a purple like foam.
Damian’s right eye twitched, his lips pressed together so much that his lips became pale and his brows drawn so closely together, that he looked like he would punch the next person who would touch him.
He had no choice. This was the only way to ‘plug’ Raven’s gaping hole. She was losing too much blood because of it.
Damian clenched his teeth even more, if that was even possible. He leaned Raven on his right arm as his hands clenched tightly. If he had not had gloves on, then anyone would be able to see how white his fist had become. His brows still tightly knit together, it looked painful to watch his brows like that.
And to Garfield and Terra, he looked like the scariest man on earth. They seemed to fear Damian more than the unbeatable monster that had stabbed Raven into this state.
Damian hated what he had to do. He hated that he had to plug Raven like this. He hated that he knew he had to put her down now. Now.
There was a moment of hesitance, but Damian bit his lip till it bled to keep his focus.
“We need to put Raven in a safe spot,” He said in a clipped manner as he picked Raven up in his arms in a princess carry, “Distract that thing and keep him far away from her.” He continued absent-mindedly as his eyes quickly analyzed the best spot to hide her away.
And at the same time, he recalled her injury. There were no organs that were damaged, that at least is a good thing. And he hoped and prayed– at that same moment– that Raven can survive this.
With Damian standing on his full length, Garfield snapped out from his frozen state and had begun to reach out for Raven once again.
“Don’t you dare touch her!” Damian snarled in such an unsightly manner that Garfield remembered the initial fear Damian gave him. Terra did not feel the fear again because she was looking at Garfield with worry and realization. Terra missed to see Damian’s expression and his words did not register in her mind because she knew at that moment while looking at Garfield—that Raven and Garfield will always have history.
Of course, she knew of Raven and Garfield’s relationship and didn’t mind it. Raven was simply his past. Garfield told her that he loves her, and that he would never go back to Raven—if that was something Terra worried about. And he must have kept his word. But the years Raven and him shared was something that could never be erased. And emotions built up throughout those years was something that couldn’t be replaced so easily. To realize such a thing now of all places—
Damian had accidentally hit Terra as he started moving, cutting Terra’s thoughts. For a second her eyes laid on the boy wonder—and to her, she did not see a hero protecting or saving someone. She saw a man holding someone in a way that showed he was too afraid to hold any tighter in fear of losing her. A man refusing to blink, too afraid that it would be his last sight of her and that she would turn into dust any moment now. He held her in such a cautious manner—that it hurt to see him so forlorn like that.
That was something she thought she would never see in Damian Wayne. His body—every cell seemed to radiate a want to not let go of the woman in his arms. A conflict of holding her so tightly so he can remember how it feels to hold her and yet—still, he was a man of responsibility. Despite his desire to just be with her—he knew where he stands—the monster was still there.
Terra quickly turned, refusing to see Garfield’s expression—it was something she did not want to see right now.
“I will cover for you, Damian.” She told him firmly not waiting for a response and simply initiated her suggestion.
Damian sighed loudly in the white room, his forehead resting on his hands that was propped up on the bed beside Raven’s right hand. When they finally got to neutralize the enemy, the first thing Damian did was run to where Raven was. He was so afraid that when he got there, she would be cold and blue.
But she held on.
She held on.
He sighed again, as he turned his head that was resting on his right hand towards Raven.
He begged his father to help him keep her alive, and the first few months—God those were awful. When they arrived to have her healed, nothing was working. Whatever that creature was and what he did, messed with her. He begged his father to do anything—anything. Somehow, they found a way to stabilize her and close the gaping hole in her chest—of course every step was a struggle.
Seeing her with so many tubes and monitors, some advanced tech and some actual alien tech, hurt Damian in a way that a bullet shot could not compare. And he felt so helpless. It was probably the helplessness that hit him even worse than a bullet wound.
Damian Wayne—son of Batman, son of Bruce Wayne, a robin—a boy wonder—an assassin at some point, still a man seen as the heir of the Demon’s Head—felt so powerless despite all the titles and honor and glory those titles held. He still felt powerless.
He held the woman he had loved for years in his arms, and had to leave her in her injured state to defend the world of the very same creature that injured her in the first place. He left her all alone in a corner—not even knowing if she would be alive when he returned. He knew that having someone guard her would be a waste of manpower. He had to think of the bigger picture—because it is his responsibility, he couldn’t put her over that. And a small part of him hates himself for it.
He had seen her struggle to survive day after day, and night after night since then. The rejection her body faced—and his selfishness, thinking—hoping that she would survive it.
And she did.
She survived everything. And most of the tubes and monitors were finally taken away. Of course, she still had an IV drip and a monitor checking her vitals, just in case. Still, it was fifteen less tubes and monitors—and doctors and scientists.
Damian reached out for Raven’s right hand with his left, his palm resting on the back of her hand. He had gotten so used to all the tubes and monitors, that the first week without them was so unfamiliar to him.
Every time he visited her, he expected the tubes and monitors to multiply and revert back to when they couldn’t seem to cure her. Up until just a few weeks ago, he expected that they would return because she would become unstable again. But it never happened. He was so thankful it never happened. He slipped his right hand under hers, his worries just seemed like paranoia.
“Raven, won’t you wake up already?” He muttered as he had gotten used to talking to himself whenever he visited her.
“I still planned to confess to you,” He chuckled emptily “Won’t you at least let me do that?” He brought her hand to his forehead. “Let me be selfish…”
~.~.~.~.~
The door to Raven’s personal room opened, revealing Damian in his robin uniform, his mask off. He walked to her in a slightly slump manner and he took her hands on his and sighed.
“I’m sorry Raven, it appears that I can’t visit you for the unforeseeable future. Something came up.” He looked at her sleeping face sadly.
“Don’t be angry, I try to visit you every day after all, even if it’s just for a couple of minutes, but I never missed a day since you got injured.” He paused a vacant look on his face. “If you ask me, I’m pretty sure they were lenient on my lack of participation in missions recently because I looked as if I had lost a lover.” He laughed in a broken manner.
“It’s funny– how I am reacting as if I had lost a lover—when we never really got to be together. It would be nice if you wake up—at least let me confess to you clearly. And you can put a rest to my pining.” He didn’t know why, but he felt that he had to rearrange her hair before he left and so he did.
“I will come back, I promise you.” He said as he reluctantly let go of her hand. He refused to look back as he left the room, and took his mask from his utility belt and puts it on.
~.~.~.~.~
The door opened gently again as Damian Wayne in an all-black outfit walked in. He was in his signature black turtleneck. He had on a thin black framed eyeglass on his nose and held a book on his left hand. He had gotten used to opening the door slowly and gently, out of the fear that when he opened the door she wouldn’t be there anymore.
At first, he thought that it was an unreasonable fear, but clearly it was not. He was afraid that the time he wasn’t with her, she would have long been gone. And when he comes to visit, he would be greeted with an empty bed. And he would not be able to even say his farewells.
He closed the door even more gently—because when the door is closed this time was theirs—well his. Because she was still unconscious—still very unaware of his presence.
“Hey Raven, I brought the book I last read to you—I have enough time today to read to you just a few chapters.” He said as he walked to his position beside her. He took a seat on the chair and held her right hand with his right hand. “It would be nice if you woke up soon.” He smiled grimly, the words have started becoming something he said out of habit.
Damian gave her a little recap of what he had read to her before as he held her hand. After that, he continued where he left off, holding her hand when he wasn’t flipping through pages. He read in a slow manner; his mind more aware of the fact that her hand felt so very right against his, instead of the words he was saying aloud.
~.~.~.~.~
Raven was still lying unconscious in the white room, on her white bed. Everything was quiet inside.
“Damian it’s been almost eight months!” Came a voice from outside the room.
“So, what Grayson!” Yelled back the voice of Damian Wayne. He was in an argument right outside of Raven’s room with Dick Grayson, his adopted brother—also known as Nightwing.
“Are you serious Dami?” A pause. “At least let others see her!”
“By others you mean Garfield, right?” A loud bang was heard from inside the room.
“Well—shit, yes! Why won’t you let Gar see her? He has been asking about her or where she is.”
“Don’t you dare bring Garfield to see her—don’t you dare!” A furious reply from Damian as shuffling footsteps were heard.
“Look man, I get it. I really do. But Damian, you can’t just hide her away from her teammates.” Dick said in a tone of anxiousness.
“You see her too.” Was Damian’s quiet response.
“You know that’s not what I mean.” A louder bang entered Raven’s room ending Dick’s words.
“She planned to leave anyway.” Damian said defensively. There was silence for a few seconds and a frustrated humph could be heard from outside the room.
“I—I didn’t think anyone would be able to deal with seeing her in that way—I” Damian paused. “I don’t think they’d want to see her in a coma—I thought it was for the best. I—I’m sorry Grayson, I will let them see her—but—just not Garfield, Grayson. That is all I am asking from you, just not him. He caused her enough pain.” And the door to Raven’s room opened. She still laid there asleep. Damian did not wait for Dick’s reply and he slowly closed the door behind him.
He was in a black button up polo shirt tucked into his black slacks, that was held into place by a black belt with a silver metal piece and he wore his black leather shoes. He looked tired but there was no hint of anger from what had transpired outside Raven’s bedroom.
“You must have heard our little argument, huh?” He said approaching the familiar chair he always sat on when visiting her. “I’m sorry to have disturbed your sleep.” He continued as he sat down on the chair and took her hand in his again. “Of course, I didn’t disturb your sleep, after all you’re still unconscious.” A hollow chuckle soon followed.
Damian placed the back of Raven’s hand against his forehead. “You can wake up now. Scold me for being so selfish. For not allowing Garfield to visit you. In fact, for not letting anyone else visit you aside from a select few. But—mostly Garfield. I will not allow him in here too— in this space– so why don’t you wake up and just tell me how selfish I am.” He tilted his head to look at Raven while her hand was still pressed on the temple of his head.
But as usual there was no response, he was so used to talking to himself by now. At this point, Damian was very convinced that Raven had tried to reach out for Garfield, one last time, before she fainted. And the thought was something that caused him bitterness.
Even in her near-death, Garfield was the last in her mind.
~.~.~.~.~
Damian was sitting on the same chair holding Raven’s hand. Three months have passed since Damian and Dick’s heated argument outside of Raven’s bedroom. He wore a red hoodie with black pants and black shoes. This time around, for the first time, he looked less tired since this whole ordeal happened.
“It looks like you had a lot of visitors this month too.” He glanced at the flowers on both bedside tables, pictures in frames of Raven with the team and other things. Now the room seemed to have a little bit of a personality.
“I think it’s great that you have some visitors. Though I admit, I think that eventually they will come to visit less and less, so I think you should wake up soon. Everyone misses you a lot. I think the longer you stay asleep people would forget about you. Everyone you know is a hero Raven, and even though you stay asleep—we still have to defend the people. Everyone’s priorities will shift and they would have less time to see you. And because they have started settling with your absence, for sure the visits will lessen. But I promise, I will visit you every day until you wake up.” Damian placed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand and he froze.
His lips hovering over her hand. He wiped the spot he kissed her at, with his thumb.
“I’m sorry, I should be asking permission. I didn’t—” He stared at the back of her hand. “I’m sorry I don’t know since when I started doing that, but I’m sorry. I overstepped.” He gently placed her hand back on the bed and stood up. “Let’s see what’s in the drawers, shall we?” He muttered to himself and surveyed every nook and cranny and objects in her room, keeping a mental inventory.
“We will be starting a new book soon. I no longer keep track of the books we’ve read.” He said after finishing his inspection of the room and went to sit back on the chair and crossed his arms across his chest.
“Well—I mean I keep track of the titles but no longer itemize them…” He added quietly, he used to count them but stopped at around the fifth book because it seemed like the list would continue to grow. And seeing the number rise would just be another reminder of the fact that the days waiting for Raven to wake was stretching to impossibility.
~.~.~.~.~
It was a little over a year since Raven has been in her comatose state. The room felt heavy and she stirred because of it. Her breathing a little louder—a little labored. Her eyes fluttered open—her vision a blur. She saw two figures at the foot of her bed. The taller one looking at the shorter man. The shorter one was looking at her startled—he seemed to have an odd skin color. She could almost swear it was green. Raven’s eyes started to roll back to unconsciousness.
“Dick, she’s awake!” It was a familiar voice; Raven couldn’t help but think.
“What?” Dick turned to look at Raven, her eyelids slowly closing, her labored breathing slowly quieting down.
“I saw her eyes open; I swear it!” She recognized the voice as Garfield, but knowing who it was did not give her any extra motivation to fight her sleepiness.
“What the fuck is going on here!” Another familiar voice furiously entered Raven’s faltering consciousness. She wanted to wake up—to fight the tiredness she was feeling. But it was simply too late now.
The door had banged open when Damian entered. Damian was still wearing his black outer coat, his shoes dirty as he had just arrived from outside. He had no time to freshen up to visit Raven because he found out what Dick was up to.
When his eyes laid on Garfield who was looking at Raven, he wanted to rip Garfield’s head off. Damian Wayne looked like he was going to pop a vein on his neck. He glared at Dick with such open hostility that Dick was taken aback, and Garfield beside him recalled the fear Damian instilled in him that night Raven got injured.
“Her eyes opened; I saw it!” Garfield said frantically, hoping that would ease Damian’s anger. Damian stole a glance at Raven—but she was at the same state he had last seen her in.
Comatose.
“I asked you one thing, Grayson!” He growled as he slowly stomped his way to Dick whose hands were up in a ‘I surrender’ way. Damian grabbed Dick’s coat collar and pulled him close. “One thing Grayson!” He shoved Dick and pointed at Garfield.
“Look—you can’t continue denying someone who wants to visit a friend.” Dick tried to calm his brother down as he straightened his coat.
“Friend?” Damian snorted in response.
“Look, Damian I begged Dick to bring me to her.” Garfield said and he received Damian’s angry glare.
“Get. Out.” Damian simply said, he looked as though he would kill either of them any second now. For some weird reason Garfield got a little more courage at that moment, he began to open his mouth. Dick seeing Garfield’s lips open—quickly intercepted by pulling Garfield by the arm and pulling him towards the door.
“I’m sorry little D, we will talk about it outside.” Dick said as he draggedGarfield out, giving Garfield a stern look to ensure Garfield’s silence. Garfield wasn’t happy but he understood that Dick was looking out for him.
Damian stood where he was, glaring at Raven as he waited for the door to close behind Dick and Garfield. He was stiff in his spot and his fists clenched so tightly. He was still very much angry. He stood like that for five more minutes before he tried to calm himself down. His fist unclenched and his brows unfurrow.
“So—well, stop pretending then—he’s gone now—so wake up.” He demanded in a low voice as he hovered beside Raven near the chair. She did not move. And Damian laughed brokenly as he fell on his knees. He reached out for her right hand absentmindedly and rested his nose on the back of her palm.
“So, it turns out you just needed him to visit you to wake up?” Damian whispered as tears fell on her hand. “So why aren’t you awake already?” He sobbed.
It was never him—she never chose him.
~.~.~.~.~
It had been four months since Garfield had been regularly visiting Raven, and at times he would also bring Terra with him. Damian had conceded Garfield’s wish to allow him visitation rights to see Raven. Damian could not stay angry at Dick for over two weeks, and the pair reconciled, despite Dick undermining Damian’s wishes. Damian understood that Dick was looking out for him.
Damian’s family was very much worried over him since Raven’s fall. He acted more detached and unapproachable. He wasn’t sleeping well and every second he could spare he was always hovering over Raven. In fact, he slept well hunched by Raven’s bedside with Raven’s hand against his hands and forehead. Damian was even unwilling to celebrate his twenty-second birthday with Raven still unconscious. And they could see the toll it was taking on Damian.
His family knew he needed a little push to try and let Raven’s state go and pushing Damian to allow Garfield entry was the way to do it. Damian needed to move on.
But here he was again, in the white room he specifically prepared for her. Her accommodations are all arranged by him, and his visits are always a constant. But the past four months were difficult, as he was also actively avoiding having to meet Garfield when Garfield was visiting Raven.
When Damian was able to take a step back from his anger at what Dick did—he knew that his family did it to distract Damian—to keep him away from lurking around Raven. He understood it was made of good intentions. Damian reached out for Raven’s hand, a habit he has come to develop long ago.
He wore a plain white shirt with jeans. His hair was not as neat as it usually was, and there were eyebags under his eyes yet again.
“But I guess I am a man who will only love one person in their lifetime.” He muttered, placing Raven’s hand against his right cheek. “I’ve come to wonder sometimes if I am unfortunate to be such a man—or to fall for you—” he studied her face; he has memorized every detail about her. How could he not when he was here, beside her so frequently.
“I’ve come to learn that loving you is not something to be regretful about. In fact, I am rather thankful for it. But you really got me pining over you, Raven.” He sighed, his eyes not capturing even the smallest of movement from Raven. “I love you.” He whispered and brushed his lips against the skin on the back of her hand.
A week and a half after, Damian paced at the foot of Raven’s bed, very much frustrated. He paused and glared at Raven, running his hands through his head, a sign of his developing anger. He stomped towards his spot as he glared at Raven again.
His hair was a mess, his eyebags had gotten darker. His clothes that was a plain black shirt with jeans had creases, very uncharacteristic of him.
“I don’t get it!” He said, containing most of his anger. “You obviously woke up the first time Garfield visited you! Tsk, as it turns out, all you need was for him to visit you– for you to wake up. So why did you go back to sleep!” His tone louder now and he sighed to try and dispel a little of his anger. His hand at his side clenched into balls.
Damian was seething in anger, and he exhaled and inhaled in air as if he was palpitating. Finally, the anger he had dissipated. But it was replaced by raw hopelessness, anyone who would see him in such a state, would feel their hearts knot.
“You really—really got me pining over you.” Damian said as he knelt on the floor with a hunched back as he took her right hand in between his palms. “It’s funny how you pined over someone else as I pined over you—it seems that you’re making me pine over you just as long as you pined over him.”
The chair he usually sat on was across the room, toppled down. A droplet of water falls in front of Damian’s right knee.
~.~.~.~.~
Two months passed just like that. Raven’s friends had long since stopped visiting her as frequently as they did the first three months. Asking them to take so much time off of their busy hero life was too much to ask for. But Damian always made time for her, and at almost a year and a half the toll of doing so had fully manifested.
He looked so tired, his eye bags are in the darkest shade it had been since the accident. He looked thinner, not scarily thin, but it was obvious he had lost some weight. His clothes were as neat as it could be. His white button up shirt crisp and so is his black slacks. His black leather shoes are very shiny. He placed a lot of effort in his appearance because even he could tell that his health has waned, and he was compensating with his clothes.
When Raven was in ICU for the first three months, he was in such a bad state. When she finally got relatively cured but was in comatose, he looked better– more relaxed. Then a little after, he had to continue with his responsibilities, particularly as a hero and somehow, he managed. The weight he had initially lost, he had regained and now he had shed perhaps even more than he did at that time.
But now at almost a year and a half of juggling hero life, personal and family life. Being with Raven almost every day since the night she got hurt. To actively avoid Garfield while Garfield was visiting and arranging his own visits to go around Garfield’s visitation, but also keeping to his schedule and preference of seeing Raven on a very regular basis. And Raven still not waking up—Damian was quite spent.
He was sitting on his chair facing Raven’s right hand. His head propped onto his hands which were propped up on his knees. He was looking at Raven’s face blankly, dark circles under his eyes. He didn’t know how much longer he could do this.
Raven’s state was always at the forefront of his mind. And when he was on a mission, he tried to put it as a lesser priority. But when he is near to death his first thought is: If I die who will look after Raven? And so, he fights with every screaming fiber he had, even when he was in such excruciating pain. After all, he still had to see her wake up.
One would think a year and a half wasn’t really a long time—but it did not feel like it has been just over a year for Damian—it felt like he has been waiting for her to wake up for five years.
He had just realized quite recently, just exactly how much stress he had gotten due to all this. And it was taking a major toll on him. He now completely understood why his family was worried about it—about him. Hindsight after all is 20/20 and he now clearly saw exactly how concerning his state was.
There was only one solution. His eyes flickered to Raven—he had not noticed that his gaze had drifted off of her and was surprised when his eyes laid on her again. He sighed and suddenly stood up, and picked up a lock of her hair.
“Raven, your hair has grown quite a bit—it’s already at waist length. I thought of having it cut—but I think that should be your decision.” He placed it back down. “If you don’t wake up any time soon—I’m afraid I would have to let you go.” He mumbled to himself as he turned around to lean on the bed and gaze at the ceiling blankly.
Two weeks after, Damian was back in her room, looking even worse. This time he was just standing beside Raven with a very empty gaze. He had been standing there in his black slacks, black dress shoes and a green button up polo shirt for fifteen minutes already.
“I give up Rae.” He looked down on the ground. His words were so soft because he was very much afraid of the implications himself. He knew he had to let her go.
“I—I don’t think I can visit you like this.” He fought the tears as he said his words a little louder. And there was nothing left to say, he just softly touched her hand for a second and pulled away and then looked at her blankly.
A month after Damian’s decision to let Raven go, he realized getting to the conclusion and acknowledging what had to be done and executing his decisions were two completely different things. He was still visiting her in the same consistency that he always had. And he knew he had to fight to break the habit that he had already formed. Seeing her was second nature to him, and he simply had to break it.
~.~.~.~.~
Two months after, Damian was finally able to decrease his visits. And had even met Garfield a few times and actually didn’t mind it. His visit reduction was not really significant but the fact he was able to decrease it at all, was a win for him.
He was in jeans and a red shirt, looking very casual and he looked more unbothered and not so tired. His hands in his pockets as he just stood. For the first time, he looked genuinely relaxed. His gaze at her was soft and the eyebags he had been sporting in different shades, for almost two years, were significantly less dark this time.
“I know I don’t visit often anymore—and you probably can’t tell—aside from the obvious,” A small twinkle in his eyes at the little joke. The fact that he could make a joke like that, spoke volumes of how far he had come. “You really made me pine over you for the duration you pined over Garfield. Nine years—you really made this whole thing come into full circle. You pined for him for nine years and decided to move on completely—but this happens.” He gestured at her generally.
“Now I have pined for you for the same duration, and I have decided to move on too.” He said grimly and the hint of playfulness he had prior was gone. “It really came full circle.”
He just stood to her right with a small smile. He tried his best not to stay so long to visit her nowadays. Damian found that standing was the best option in order for him not to stay longer than he intended.
Damian puts his hand atop Raven’s, he has also avoided holding her hand properly or else he’d find himself sitting on his spot and just holding her hand. He would then talk to her and the intended short visit would become like his regular visits from before.
“I have decided. I am moving on—I am letting you go.” And he pulled his hand away a little too quickly, afraid of the temptation that was the familiarity of her hand against his—or maybe it was his hand against hers. After all, it was always him holding onto her.
His head had looked away to look at the flowers on her bedside tables. He has been talking to her about visiting her less, and letting her go for a few months now. At first it was just a passing thought. But the last two months, it seemed Damian had to tell her every time he visited. He was unaware of how frequent he was telling her that. But in retrospect, he could tell now that he had been dropping hints.
It started from hints, to telling her absentmindedly, to repeatedly telling her every time he visits—until finally he was able to visit less. And because Damian turned his head, he missed the small twitch of Raven’s hand when he pulled his hand away, to look at her bedside tables.
There was silence, as he looked down and closed his eyes. He squeezed his eyes for a moment then sighed as he looked at Raven, a faint smile on his lips. He took a step back, feeling as though he was leaving his heart on this spot. He then turned feeling lonely yet strong and regretful at the same time.
When he was gone, Raven’s eyebrow twitched.
The next day when Damian decided to check on Raven’s condition, he was frozen in fear to see the scientist and doctors hovering over Raven who was attached to so many monitors and tubes.
It was like he had stepped into the time she was brought in to close up her wound. He was unfrozen when she saw her spasming. He ran towards her, as her chest lifted and she was choking, black almost slime like blood came out from her mouth and spilled from her oxygen mask.
“Sir—we need you out of the way.” A doctor pulled Damian away. “Who let this one in!” The doctor added and a nurse took Damian away, trying to console him.
“This is odd—there seems to be no traces of the compound we found last time. But her body is rejecting something.” Damian heard the doctor say, at that moment Raven’s eyes opened and her line of sight fell on Damian’s instantly. Her hand lifted slowly to his direction; her eyes wet as her face slowly turned red from the lack of oxygen. A doctor had already punctured her lungs to assist her in breathing, but black blood was oozing out from it.
“Let me, the fuck go!” Damian yelled as he strongly shoved the nurse off of him. He was normally someone who didn’t do this, but seeing Raven’s face slowly contort to fear and resignation, he actually went against the nurse. He remembered when she was in ICU for the first few months he observed quietly from the distance, but he couldn’t now.
“Raven!” He called out as he knelt on the floor and held her right hand that she had stretched out. “I promise, I will not leave you. So, you have to fight this!”
She squeezed his hand in hers as best as she could as her eyes closed and a tear slipped from her eye.
“Sir—I’m sorry but you are being a distraction.” A bulky man approached Damian, giving him no choice but to let go of Raven’s hand and put his hands up as he slowly left the room.
“She’s—I heard the subject has powers—” A person in a lab gown said, perhaps a scientist.
“Patient.” A doctor cuts off the scientist.
Before Damian was shoved out of the room, he stole a glance of Raven, her hand was glowing a faint purple black hue. And it seemed that she could breathe.
“Sir—there seems to be something appearing—” And that was the last thing Damian heard before the door was shut close in front of him.
Two weeks later Raven was finally stable but still in a coma. They were fighting with her condition for those two weeks—cross referencing and analyzing data, finding and testing out new information. And everything has now calmed down. He was only allowed entry today after the stunt that he pulled.
Damian was sitting on his chair, holding her hand. He wore a white t-shirt with many creases. His hair is a slightly better case compared to his shirt. And the outfit was complete with a plain pair of jeans and casual shoes. And to top it all off, his eyebags had become darker again.
”You really scared me. God, I forgot how afraid I was of losing you recently—you really know how to make someone remember, huh?” He muttered as he put her hand against his forehead, he was shaking a bit, as he fought his tears. And he felt her hand twitch against his—and he choked as he looked at her face.
Her eyes were still close but for the first time, he actually felt her react. In two years, she finally moved. He smiled tightly and nodded his head. He brought her hand against his lips and softly kissed her hand.
“You reached out to me that night, didn’t you?” He put her hand against his cheek as he turned his head towards her again. “You have to wake up and clarify that to me.” And he heard her loudly inhale.
For the first time in months, he finally had hope that she would wake up. “I promise you; I will wait for you to wake up. This time, I will not break this promise.”
~.~.~.~.~
The door suddenly opened with a panic stricken Damian. He was unable to take off his outer coat and change into cleaner shoes because he heard a crash from generally where Raven’s room was located, on the second floor, when he had just entered the building.
“Raven!” He called out his fear practically at the base of his throat.
When he heard the loud crash, he feared for the worst. His eyes at first saw an empty bed, and his heart almost jumped out of his chest. The vase on her right bedside table with flowers had shattered on the floor. He quickly searched for Raven, and exhaled deeply when he spotted her at the foot of her bed. She was holding onto her bed with great difficulty. Her eyes observed Damian wearily.
He approached her, thinking that maybe this was a dream.
“Raven.” He whispered when he was two feet away, her violet eyes did not show any recognition at seeing Damian. He picked her up and carried her in his arms, and despite not recognizing him at first, she wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Damian.” She whispered and he squeezed him back. She rested her forehead on his shoulder, as he carried her back to her bed. He set her down gently as he pulled away, she grabbed his right hand.
“It feels so perfect.” She gently told him, and Damian was startled by her words. A smile slowly formed and he found himself chuckling.
“I’ve been here almost every day, holding your hand. Maybe your hand molded into mine—” He shook his head. “Or maybe the other way around.”
“I—my memory is kind of fuzzy,” Raven said as she laid back in bed. “But I know you, I remember you. I heard you so often. It became scary when you weren’t there.” Her eyes started to flutter, she seemed a little bit too tired. But she continued to hold his hand until she fully fell into slumber, to which her grip loosened.
Damian took the opportunity to call the doctors and scientist to inform them of her condition.
When she awoke again the doctors, scientists and Damian were talking.
~.~.~.~.~
A month after, Raven was already walking by herself inside her room. She started walking around the villa quite recently. But she has not been able to walk outside yet. She found that once the door to go outside the villa was opened, her knees would buckle. So, for the past month she was mostly roaming indoors.
She had found out that this was one of Bruce Wayne’s properties, and Damian had asked for the property. Damian was someone who would never ask anything of anyone if he could do it himself, so it was surprising to everyone that Damian had asked for this villa. And because of that Bruce granted Damian the property, if not for that, in the very least to give Damian some peace of mind. At least then Damian would know Raven had a place to stay and would not be kicked out if he so much as vanished.
She also found out that Damian did not spare any expense in her recuperation and that her situation was quite odd. The creature’s origin could not be quite narrowed down, thus its effects on her were up on the air. But that was where the doctors and scientists and all the tech was for, alien tech included. With the collective resources provided, they were able to make something to assist Raven’s condition.
“Raven, I think you should really try to get out.” Damian said as he walked in. He looked so happy seeing her, just standing by the window gazing out. She turned her head to smile at him.
He looked better—in fact the happiest and relaxed he had ever been in two years. His clothes were pressed well, it was a casual attire, and he had no hint of any kind of weariness. No more eyebags, and his eyes no longer looked so dead.
“If you go with me, I can try.” She responded, she had not seen him in two weeks due to his busy schedule, with the team and talking to her doctors and scientists. Him learning and relearning everything about her condition since she got attacked, and he also had family matters, he didn’t really have time to be with Raven recently and she understood.
She kept herself busy by building her physical strength through walking within the walls of Damian’s villa. She also used the time to comb through her thoughts.
“Okay.” He agreed as he offered her his right hand and she accepted it with both her hands. Until now he couldn’t believe that she was awake.
“I really thought I was dreaming when you woke up a month ago.” He confessed again as he sighed and led her to the door.
“I’m here. Everything is still a bit fuzzy. But I know you—I trust you. Your Damian.” Raven responded unhurriedly as she placed a hand on his arm.
Fifteen minutes later, Damian came in with Raven in his arms weeping.
“I—I can’t… it—it…” And she wept.
“I’m sorry, we will take it step by step. I will be here if you ever want to try and go outside.” He comforted her as he placed her on her bed. She nodded as he wiped away her tears.
“I thought I was going to die—” She sobbed. “There was something I wanted to do… I don’t—” Another sob, “I don’t recall what.”
He held her hands and then she suddenly froze on the spot. She looked at him in the eyes, and she blinked as the tears fell. “I didn’t want to leave you.”
And this time it was his time to freeze on the spot. Raven pulled her hands away from his, and she placed her fingertips on either side of his face.
“I was afraid that I didn’t have enough time with you. I wanted to know you more.” Her vision seemed to go back to that night. “I wanted to be with you.” She absent-mindedly brushed her lips against his. And when the pressure registered in her brain, she pulled away, an apology at the tip of her tongue.
Raven was surprised to feel an even heavier pressure against her lips. And she returned the kiss as well as deepened it. She noted how she was reacting very naturally over the situation, and how inexperienced Damian was. And she pulled away.
“Is this your first kiss?” She asked him. And he looked away with a small blush on his face.
“It’s—I’m very inexperienced with dating…” He admitted, and she observed him as she wiped her tears.
“I’m assuming, I have dated before.” She replied impartially.
“Yes, Garfield.” He responded blankly, and when the name came off Damian’s mouth, he saw her expression soften. His eye twitched as he looked away. He suddenly felt her hands against his, making him turn to look at her again.
“Gar… field…” She muttered, his hand clenching at the way she called his name. “Was he the only one I dated?” Damian nodded in response.
“I see…” She said with furrowed brows. “My head is aching a bit. I think I should rest…” Raven lets go of Damian’s hands.
“Can we try going outside again tomorrow?” Damian was pulled out from his reverie with the inquiry, surprise in his eyes.
“Of course, I would love that.” She smiled at his response.
“Can you—” She looked at him hesitatingly. “Can you hold my hand when we do?”
He was even more shocked to hear those words, and he smiled as he placed a hand on her cheek. “Of course, Raven.”
“I would like to date you, Damian.” Raven stared at Damian, who just pulled his hand away from her cheek and straightened his posture as he looked away.
“Your memory isn’t like what it was Raven, I think it’s too early to say that.” His response wasn’t something she enjoyed but Raven pressed her lips together and did not push him.
She didn’t recall her love for Garfield at the moment and assuming she would choose Damian when she does recall, would be too much of wishful thinking on Damian’s part.
~.~.~.~.~
The sun was setting and the white room was filled with an orange hue from the setting sun outside. Raven and Damian had just arrived from walking outside. This time around she was able to stay outside longer without having flashbacks of the night she got stabbed. It was great progress. But she always held Damian as if he was the only remaining lifeboat in an open, turbulent ocean.
Damian and Raven were continuing a pleasant conversation they had outside in her bedroom, when suddenly the door opened.
“Raven!” Garfield came in with such a relieved look on his face, his eyes expectant as he searched for her. Damian and Raven’s happy conversation grew stale as they turned their head to the door.
“Raven!” He called out again when his eyes landed on her but Raven remained in place. “Of course, you wouldn’t tell me she is awake!” Garfield added with a glare to Damian, whose head was casted down.
“Tsk, Greyson.” He muttered, Greyson right behind Garfield but was hidden from Damian’s line of sight. Despite Damian’s head casted down, he took note of Raven’s reaction.
She was still, she stood in place, but Damian could tell, she was so close to running to Garfield and hugging him. And all Damian could do was squeeze his eyes shut, as he inhaled softly while clenching his fists.
Seeing Garfield, Raven felt like her soul from inside her was vibrating with excitement. And yet, at the same time it felt as though a thin layer of frost blanketed her entire body, and it was enough to render her frozen. Despite her deep desire to hug Garfield, her feet were so heavily planted on the floor, that she didn’t even move an inch. Her breathing was shallow and unhurriedly soft, and she just focused on that.
The days had passed so pleasantly after Raven woke up that Damian had thought that he had a place in her heart. But seeing her like this, he knew—Garfield still outweighs him.
“Get out.” Raven said, to which Damian snapped his head to Raven’s direction, who had simply turned her back and walked to the window. “All of you.”
Damian wanted to say something, his fists curling and uncurling by his sides, but he saw her stiff figure with crossed arms as she stubbornly looked outside. He was the last to leave.
He came back a few hours later, to see Raven sitting by the windowsill looking outside.
“He hasn’t left has he?” She whispered hoarsely not looking at who entered. Damian shook his head as he replied, even though she would not see it.
“His downstairs, hoping you’d at least see him.” He got no response, but she tilted her head.
“I didn’t see him leave.” She muttered vacantly.
“I’m here to convince you to eat dinner.” And Raven turned to look at him, a frown on her face.
“Okay,” She sighed. “But you are eating with me.”
Damian was startled at hearing this, a second passed before the words sunk in.
“Alright.” He blinked at her.
“Here.” She added and he told her that he would be back, as he left for a moment to get them their dinner.
When he arrived with food, they sat on a pub table that was added a little after Raven woke up. It could only sit two people, and it was made of some nice honey brown wood. The cushions of the chair are red and its frame is made of the same wood as the table. It was rather small for two people, but they made do.
Raven was vacantly playing with her food while Damian observed her with a frown. He had not yet scolded her for not eating, as he was giving her just a little more time.
With a sigh she said, “It’s odd, when I saw him, it felt like I just realized the world was a puzzle with missing pieces, and his presence just made all the missing pieces appear on it’s designated places. He was familiar, he was someone I knew—love, maybe even… but something didn’t sit well with me. I didn’t want to approach him. And I didn’t want him to approach me.” Damian just listened as she said her piece.
The two were enveloped in a tranquility that evidently belonged to them, and them alone. They felt secured in each other’s presence and there was no response needed.
~.~.~.~.~
It took Raven three days to be able to even meet Garfield. The sun was setting, and from Raven’s window, one could see Raven talking with Garfield. They were sitting on a bench facing the sunset, their backs facing the window in Raven’s room.
So, it was a given that the two did not see Damian observing them from the window. He did not look upset nor joyful with the scene he was seeing. But once Garfield placed a hand on Raven’s hand, and she tilted her head a bit towards Garfield, you could see Damian’s face slowly turn into unpleasantness.
When the minutes passed, and Garfield nor Raven had not pulled away from one another, his face contorted to wanting to storm out from Raven’s room to standing still and just holding his breath—just hoping and wishing—that she had not chosen Garfield.
But the minutes continued to pass, and Garfield’s hand continued to rest on Raven’s hand. And Raven glanced at him with a smile forming on her lips. And Damian couldn’t help but think that despite Raven having difficulties in leaving the building with him, if it was Garfield with her—of course it would be easier for her to be outside with him– with Garfield.
And Raven started closing in on the space between her and Garfield, and Damian did not want to see that. So, he turned around quickly, and he stood with his back against them, as he flexed his fists, and sighed. He had hurried to see her; he had gone through the garage so he was unable to see them in the yard. Once he got into her room, and she wasn’t there, Damian absentmindedly walked to the window. That was when he saw her and Garfield together on a bench, looking like lovers.
He wondered how long he stood by the window looking at them. He closed his eyes and sighed again, by the end of the day it was never him. He walked to the door without looking back.
A few days later, Raven is pacing her room anxiously. She had not seen Damian in days, she worried he saw her and Garfield the other day and that was why he was nowhere to be seen. But she wanted to explain to him what he had seen wasn’t what he thought. She had to tell him.
And she could feel the panic go up onto her throat. She sat on her bed, facing the door. She had refused to step out of her room after she talked to Garfield—not without Damian. She could not find the strength to go out of her room after her chat with Garfield.
Raven buried her hands on her face as the tears started to stream from her eyes. All she could see under her closed eyes, was the time—that night, when she reached out for Damian. The pain when that black spike hit her sternum.
She recalled her desire to be with Damian, but right now she felt it so very intensely that she was afraid. She was so afraid that she had lost that chance. And the door opened, and in an instant she was up on her feet with wide eyes. Seeing that it was Damian, she sobbed as she ran towards Damian and tackled him with a hug.
He was startled and it took a moment for him to realize that she was hugging him so tightly. He gently returned her hug.
“I thought you wouldn’t come back. I was so scared.” She wept on the nook of his shoulder, her feet not even touching the floor.
“I’m sorry for worrying you.” He replied softly, and tightened his hold on her as he set her down a bit so that she could touch the floor. They stood like that for a moment.
Raven eventually pulled away and tried to collect her bearings. She wiped her tears and looked at Damian in the eyes. On the other hand, he was wishing she hadn’t pulled away– maybe that was the only time he could hold her like that. And she reached for his hands and it felt so right.
“When Gar came, and guided me outside, I couldn’t find the strength to step through the door. All I could think about was that I need you. I need you to hold my hand as I step outside. While that night kept flashing through my mind. But he held my hand—and it felt so familiar. And all my fears just vanished.” She looked down on their feet. “And I found myself outside—with him.” There was guilt in her face and on the tone of her voice. And Damian honestly did not want to hear what she had to say next. But she held his hands tighter, making him decide to just keep quiet. A small smile formed on her lips as tears fell and splatter on the floor.
“I forgot the time I was injured, till the time before he held my hands. It felt like I could breathe again.” Damian’s right eye twitched, he wondered what was her point. She suddenly flicked her head to look at him, and he was startled.
“He will always be someone that matters to me, we will always have history. I have loved him for nine years, we shared so many memories—so many firsts. But I do not want to be with him. I want to be with you. And I know I am asking a lot, but if all these don’t bother you—I would love it, if you would date me.” But she was greeted with silence. “I want you. I want to be with you.” She softly added, her confidence fading.
“I don’t mind.” He said so softly, but Raven didn’t hear it.
“If that is an issue for you, then I completely understand.” She continued on.
“I don’t mind.” He repeated.
“I know it’s been two years, and that there must have been someone you became interested in. Or maybe you’ve even dated a bit. I know we don’t talk about it, but I get that—” She squeezed her eyes, her tone ready to break in a sob.
“Raven, I want to be with you.” He cupped her cheek and tilted her head towards him. She looked at him with the slightest hint of distrust. “I’ve always wanted to be with you—I waited for you.” He said, being able to say those words felt like such a relief to Damian. And the tears started falling from Raven’s eyes as the distrust was washed away.
“I almost gave up, I admit that.” He couldn’t bring himself to look at her anymore. She cupped both of his cheeks.
“If I were in your place, even I would waver.” She told him, trying to catch his dodging eyes. When she finally was able to lock her eyes with his, she added. “Garfield will always have some meaning to me—his all I have known for nine years, even before sleeping for two years—my history with him is half of my life. I was afraid. I thought he was the only one who could possibly love someone like me—I was wrong. I was so, so wrong. I want my next memories and moments– with you. And slowly those memories I had, and my history with him, will just be a fraction of my life. I want you. I want every possible milestone with you, Damian.”
He slowly nodded, and when Raven’s eyes registered the nod, he couldn’t help but smile and chuckle. But she looked like she was going to cry out of happiness and disbelieve. This time she has chosen him.
“I never thought this day would happen.” He leaned in to rest his forehead against hers, and a soft smile formed on her lips. And they shared the moment in silence. After a while, Damian talks.
“I was afraid to ask, or open up about this, especially since you were still recuperating—and your memories are fuzzy. But who would have thought you would catch me by surprise and open up the topic yourself?” Raven took the opportunity to plant a kiss on his lips, and he conservatively kissed back to which she deepened the kiss. And she pulled away recalling Damian’s inexperience last time.
“We will take it step by step. I might still remember more about Garfield, and I might get a little confused. But remind me that I chose you since that night.” She leaned her forehead against his, eyes locked with one another. Damian’s eyes flickered with surprise and the confirmation that she chose him that night, made his eyes soften with the acknowledgement. He caressed her face with his thumb.
“I finally caught up to you.” He whispered, a giggle bubbling up on the base of Raven’s throat.
~.~.~.~.~
A few months later, the white sterile room was no longer white nor empty. Raven had flipped the room with Damian’s help and approval. Its walls were now a soft lilac color. The room’s furniture was either accented with white, glass or silver metals. And the ceiling was littered with little crystals, that once the lights were off, would illuminate like stars in different colors. The medical bed swapped for a king sized bed. Her sheets were navy blue and white.
“Raven, are you ready?” Damian’s voice came from outside her open door. She turned in her white fitted dress with the thinnest spaghetti straps. Her long hair that passed her waist was tied into a fishtail braid.
“Of course!” She replied happily, as she ran towards the door, and tackled Damian with a hug and giggled.
“Excited for our brunch?” He teased.
“Absolutely!” She replied without missing a second.
Later that night they were in her bedroom. Damian sat on her bed and she was kneeling over his lap. Raven’s hair slowly unravelling from its braid. Their lips have been intertwined with one another for minutes now. He had one hand on her waist and the other on her thigh, a bit too afraid to rest it on her bum. While her hands were on his neck and on his chest.
Raven broke off the kiss, and started kissing his neck.
“If we’re going too fast, you can tell me.” She muttered in between kisses. But when she did not hear any response, she pulled away to look at him.
“I know Garfield and I had a lot of firsts together, if that bothers you…” Damian broke away from his dazed state and looked at her questioningly.
“I admit, at first it did,” His eyes followed his hand as it traveled from her thigh to her waist which he caressed. “Thinking of how he knows how to please you…” He looked back at her conflicted eyes. “But that just means I have to learn how to please you my way. You two were together for so long—it would be a given that I’m not your first. That is alright. But you are mine.” He admitted a small blush on his face. And she smiled as she kissed his eye and trailed kisses to his jawline. He was being brought back to his dazed state.
“I feel honored.” She whispered in between her kisses. And she playfully bit his ear after. Damian was startled and grabbed her butt and she gasped.
“Then I will take the lead then.” She whispered alluringly by his ear, as her hands travelled under his shirt. Her braid was completely undone at this point, soft black wavy waist length hair cascading down her head.
FIN.
Bonus Scene:
Garfield and Raven were outside on the yard and they had been talking for hours that the sun had finally begun to set.
“You know, when I woke up, I couldn’t find myself to walk out of my room. Eventually, I was able to overcome it. But I found that it was so difficult to step outside the villa. All I could see was that night and being stabbed, and the last person I saw.” Raven confessed and Garfield placed a hand on hers to comfort her.
“But Damian was there, he guided me and stayed with me as we walked outside.” A small smile on her lips. “I always held him like I was in open water and he was the lifeboat. I was afraid of losing him. I mean, I still am. I still hold him so tightly, because I’m afraid that it would be my last chance with him. I thought I was going to die that night, Gar.”
“But when you offered your hand and held me, after you said you knew of my condition—my fear outside.” She glanced at the open area. “I forgot how afraid I was of going outside. It was like my fears these few months were nothing but a phantom. You were always associated with love and happy memories for me. But you and I both know, Gar, we were imperfect. We were destructive. We had become unhappy together for a very long time.” And she glanced at him fully.
“I want to say goodbye.” She finally said, and Garfield looked at her gently as Raven extended her arms to hug him. “I want to start a new romance—with Damian.” She whispered as they embraced one another.
“I wish you two happiness.” Garfield said as he pulled away.
“Yes, thank you.” She looked back at Damian’s villa. “I was so afraid I would lose him, I still do now, it’s why I always hold him tightly whenever we go outside.” She looked back at the sunset that was facing them.
“I held on because of him—I’m sure it was him, I could feel his hand and hear him every now and then, until all I knew was his presence.” She mumbled mostly to herself.
Alternate (timeline) Ending:
Damian was asleep on the table, and had woken up with a jolt, all teary eyed.
“Damian, what’s wrong?” Raven said as she approached the table.
“I had a dream, you got injured and you were in a coma.” He replied. And he tells her what happened in his dream.
“I had a dream, you got injured and you were in a coma.” He replied as Raven sat down beside him. She gently places a hand on his, as she smiles softly.
“Damian, that did happen.” She replied unhurriedly.
‘There she was again at the foot of her bed, in her room in the Titans Tower—weeping. It was like she was grieving. But knowing her—she probably was.’ Damian couldn’t help but think as he stood unmoving by her bedroom door.
Raven’s head was buried into her hands as she cried.
This again. How many times has Damian seen Raven like this? How many times had he come and comforted her?
Raven noticed someone’s presence inside her bedroom. And she knew that there was only one person who would come into her room in the state that she was in.
Damian Wayne.
Damian Wayne who is the leader of the Teen Titans at the age of nineteen, which Raven had been a member for seven years and at twenty-one she has been one of the longest active team members, alongside Garfield or also known as, Beast Boy.
'Garfield. It has to be him again.’ Damian thought bitterly as he gazed down on the floor with a darkened gazed. And how many times had he comforted her over him? Of all people, how many times had he comforted her over Garfield?
“Damian?” Raven called out in a broken sob as she wiped her tears and glanced to her left side to find, and to no surprise, that it really was Damian who was inside her bedroom. Garfield would never come to comfort her after their arguments, she came to realize at some point, the one that did that was Damian. When she met his blank gaze after he looked up from the floor, she couldn’t help but give a faint smile and cried again.
“We broke up again.” She cried into her hands and in response to her words, Damian just clenched and unclenched his right fist. Of course, Raven would not feel the turmoil he was feeling and had not seen his reaction. She always failed to notice him.
He wandered very frequently, like right now, if his existence held any weight to her at all. If he was someone that would make her react the way she was, about a man who didn’t see her value the way he did.
“And what? This is for the nth time. Am I supposed to be surprised?” Damian said in a rather cold voice laced with something else he couldn’t identify at that moment. But his breathing was uneven and yet Raven still didn’t notice as she stopped crying and stared at him- and he regretted his tone. He regretted making her look so broken and hurt and he simply just wanted to undo how he had said his words. But the thing was—he meant it, with every beating of his aching heart.
“You don’t understand.” Her voice comes out so weak that his heart sunk for her or maybe for him. “This time—” Raven’s eyes widened a bit. “This time—it’s for real. No more do-overs. No more makeup. This time—” Raven started to hyperventilate. “This time we’re really done.”
And saying the words aloud—despite it not actually being loud enough perhaps because of how broken and in pain she was, made Raven realize how true the situation really is. Only a tear slipped down her left eye as she sat there frozen and very unmoving. The situation sinking deeper into her soul.
This time it’s for real. The words echoed in both their heads, and yet their emotions towards those words were quite different, almost opposite.
How many times had he heard that-was he supposed to believe it? But seeing her empty gaze and unmoving body—he knew—that this really was for real. And in Damian’s mind he had already reached out to caress her face to comfort her.
There was a small amount of happiness in the back of Damian’s mind as opposed to Raven’s sheer grieve over those words: This time it’s for real.
'Until that 'for real’ becomes another lie.’ Damian’s mind couldn’t help but whisper to his heart, the small glimmer of happiness damped just as quickly as it came. He shouldn’t even find happiness in her sorrows.
“He says he’s leaving the team— he’s going to join Young Justice.” Damian was surprised to hear this as the information had not gotten to him yet. “He told me not to follow him—because this really is the end of the line for him and I.” She pressed her lips together.
He didn’t know what to say, how to comfort her at this moment. He stared intently at her but with as much a gentle gaze he could offer. If what she said was true, perhaps this was his chance. He shook his head, to shake the thought out as it should not be the priority now but he couldn’t help it. His heart has become so weary.
“Raven.” He called out to her as he approached her slowly. Her eyes flickered to meet his gaze and as she did so, silent tears fell from her eyes again. “Maybe that is a good thing.”
And Raven did not take it well. What did Damian mean? Her tears fell faster as she broke into a sob, she covered her mouth with her right hand, unaccepting of what he had just uttered to her.
“Raven.” He called her again, as he sat beside her and touched her left hand with his right hand. “This could be a good thing. You can finally let someone take care of you the way you deserve.”
This wasn’t what she wanted to hear and it wasn’t what she expected to hear from him.
Of all the times Damian had comforted her over her numerous break-ups with Garfield he had never—ever—said such a thing to her. And she felt as though he had punched her yet all she could do was wept loudly in response.
Damian sighed and hesitated to hug her, but eventually was able to wrap his arms around her shaking form. It was not the tightest hug he could give, but it was all that he could muster to give to her. And this time he couldn’t help but wonder if she could hear his aching heart from such a close distance.
“I love him, Damian.” She wept as she gave him a tighter hug and Damian flinched at the words she spoke. But of course, Raven failed to feel it, just like the pain that he was clearly resonating from deep within his bones and soul.
Love? Damian wanted to snicker at her and yet it was also something that would be directed at him.
“Have I not tried everything to please him? Where have I failed?” She pulled away from his embrace, the distance between their faces only a mere two feet away. Her hands were on Damian’s chest as she looked up at him. “Am I not enough?” She sobbed as he furrowed his brows at the words he knew to be so ridiculous to hear.
Not enough? He felt the anger that he had buried a long time ago shimmer from very deep within him.
“Is my love not enough? Is this why he never chooses me? Didn’t I try everything to please him? Do I not deserve love? Is this why I’m always—just—I’m never chosen?” She ranted as her left hand wrapped around Damian and her forehead rested on the back of her right hand that was on Damian’s chest over his heart. And Raven continued to cry. Her words reflected the way he had been living for how many years now.
He silently bit his lip. Even though her hand was already resting so firmly over his heart, she still couldn’t feel or hear his heart breaking at that very moment. How many times had he let her break his heart over and over again?
“You call this love?” He whispered unexpectedly. And when Raven pulled away to look at him with confusion on her face—Damian understood that he had spoken his thoughts aloud. He can’t take it back now. He looked down at her, mirroring her confusion but water was pooling on his lower eyelids.
“How can you call this love?” He said in such a low voice with plain disbelief and confusion. “How many times have you cried over Garfield? How many times have you said you two will never get back together—and yet somehow you get back together—despite how many times he has hurt you. But you hurt him too—but still—the pain you two inflict on each other—when will it be enough?”
Raven felt like he had dumped cold water on her and as Damian looked at her expression- even, he had felt that he had dumped cold water on her.
His mouth quivered as he contemplated whether he should take it back-of how he should take it back. But he had meant every single word and Raven’s face was ashen from his words. She took in three long breaths controlling the ache in her chest. She found that at this moment, she was more hurt over what Damian said than over her breakup with Garfield. Damian wondered when his cycle would come to an end.
“How could you say that?” It came out barely as a whisper and her grief over her break up had become forgotten. She wiped the tears off of her face, as she completely pulled away from Damian by standing up from her bed.
“How could I?” He asked with a broken laugh as he stood up to face the door, Raven behind him as he secretly wiped the tear that slipped out of his eye. “How could you not? How many times have you two broken up in the span that I have been a part of the team? Let’s not count when I wasn’t part of the team! How can you—” A pause as he controlled his temper and the tears that wanted to fall. Damian closed his eyes as he deeply inhaled. When his green eyes opened there was a coldness befitting a son of an assassin and he turned to look at her.
“You two—not respect one another enough to just call it quits the first time—or maybe by the third time of your break ups. Why would you—you two—drag out this pain for all these years?” Damian’s voice had a hint of suppressed tension in it. And Raven laughed at his rant, but the laughter sounded so resigned that Damian’s heart couldn’t help but flinch. She had looked away from him as she continued to laugh.
“Of course, you wouldn’t understand how I feel!” Raven paused from laughing to stare at his green eyes coldly trying to compete with the indifference he was showing her. “I can’t believe that I had thought you understood me—I can’t believe I expected you to understand!” Another fit of broken laugher. Damian clenched his fist at her words. The disdain she had for Damian—he felt. And yet she still did not see his feelings- she still did not feel his feelings. How his heart at this moment was aching because of the love he had for her that he could never say out loud.
“I knew him for seven years Damian! Seven bloody years! And I love him. I love him so, so much.” And Raven could not help but start to cry again. “I love him- for seven years.”
It was a fact, it was undeniable. It simply is. He smiled brokenly at her, the indifference gone.
“Time does not guarantee that you are meant to be with someone.” Damian said it so simply and when the words fell on Raven’s ears—she froze.
“Why are you doing this?” She whispered not expecting an answer, as she simply had just spoken what was in her mind. She really did not expect this from Damian.
“Just because you know someone for a long time and love them just as long—it doesn’t mean you could not love someone with the same intensity even when you just met.” He continued on his voice soft and in a very resigned manner, and yet Raven wanted to scream at him and ask why he was continuing on.
Why was he doing this?
Her heart was aching enough already. Why were you adding to that? She wanted to say but found her lips could not form those words.
“Get. Out.” Raven heard herself say after a minute had passed, it came out softly and with no weight to it. Damian looked at her with evasive eyes. “Get Out.” She said a bit more firmly to which Damian stood unmoving with furrowed brows in front of her.
He seemed like he wanted to tell her more, but Raven did not allow him to. She wouldn’t let him break her heart again. Why did this feel even worse than her breakup?
“Get Out! I said get out!” She yelled. Damian glared at her with his jaw clenched and hands in a fist. She tried to match his anger as she glared back. But Damian knew he was at a loss, he would give anything to make her happy. And so he concedes and leaves quietly out of her bedroom. Before the door was fully closed, he heard Raven fall on her knees and wept again, muttering something he couldn’t quite catch.
“I love him- for seven years…” She whispered and repeated. She wondered for a split second if she was trying to convince herself of this fact. And she continued to grieve alone in her bedroom.
~.~.~.~.~
Damian was in the gym room of the Titan Tower. He was punching a sandbag with wrapped hands. He had been at the gym for a few days straight to vent out —in fact since his first failure at comforting Raven over her break up. He had tried to be unbiased, but everyone had a tipping point and Damian Wayne simply hit his tipping point on the matter.
Even so, he tried to act accordingly as the leader of the Titans. He had started comforting Raven in the pretense of his obligation as the team leader. But maybe it wasn’t a pretense—and if so—when had it started becoming a pretense? When did he start convincing himself that it was part of the duty as the leader? When it was clear-looking back- that he had a weak spot for Raven and that he gave her special treatment.
Raven and Garfield appeared to be as civil as they could around each other after their recent breakup. And finally, Garfield had talked to Damian about leaving the team. Something about moving up the ladder. And God hearing that made Damian want to punch the man.
What did that entail 'moving up the ladder’? Did Raven not fit Garfield’s desire—is that why they broke up this time around? She wasn’t too high up that ladder? But Damian never voiced out the thoughts that invaded him as he heard Garfield say what he did.
In fact, Damian tried not to comment about Raven and Garfield’s relationship, or lack thereof, just as he always had but the same could be said with anyone else. He tried to be as much of a team leader as needed be—and he did not—absolutely did not mention their personal romantic relationships with one another unless it was to remind them that he does not wish for it to affect the group dynamic. And maybe that was what led him to comfort Raven the first time around.
Damian valued the team dynamic too much just for a couple to ruin it. But when it was Raven who was so upset over her relationship, he would find himself in front of her door and then in her room, comforting her the best he could and with more effort than he would if it was someone else.
After Raven kicked Damian out over what hopefully was the last break-up of Garfield and Raven, Damian went out of his way to avoid Raven in the most casual and indifferent way possible. It almost bordered normalcy and yet it was clear that something had changed.
“Damian.” A familiar voice called out to him, but he did not hear it as he was focused on his punches.
“Damian.” He paused and Damian steadied his sandbag and turned to look behind him with furrowed brows.
“Raven.” He greeted simply and was about to continue punching the sandbag again. But she called out to him again and he sighed.
“What is it?” He asked indifferently and with a sharp edge, his hands on the sandbag, keeping up the appearance of steading it.
“I’d like to apologize.” He raised an eyebrow, shook his head and mock punched the sandbag and it swung a bit.
“You don’t have to—” He steadied the sandbag. “I should be the one apologizing.” His eyes do not look at her though.
“I suppose.” She said quietly after what felt like a minute had passed in silence with no apology from Damian. “But you made a good point.” He stiffly nodded, the apology he has been meaning to say was at the tip of his tongue. Another minute passed in silence.
“I know you’re looking out for the team. Thank You.” She said quietly, waiting for Damian to respond but he just nodded again and another minute of silence.
“I—I think I will take your advice—” Advice. She had called it advice; Damian’s eyes looked up at her. He was surprised to see her violet eyes look at him intently with patience. “I—I should move on—close that part of my life. Start a new book.” Damian’s right eye twitched in surprise. The apology he had been meaning to say still stuck in his mouth.
She smiled at him and she nodded and then did a 180 turn on her heel.
“I’m sorry.” He finally said but it was only a whisper. His disappointment and anger in his own inability to apologize properly made him clench his right knuckles against the sandbag, as his eyes followed her back. For a moment he thought she froze on the spot, but she continued to walk away.
'No. She had heard. But she did not give me a hard time over it.’ Damian thought as a faint rueful smile found itself on his lips.
She deserved so much better. He sighed aloud as he looked up at the cieling.
~.~.~.~.~
'Why was I back in this situation again? Had she not said that it was over for real then? I guess today is the day it finally became a lie.’ Damian stood inside of Raven’s bedroom as if he had seen a ghost.
Last time he was here—she was twenty-one. Now he is the twenty-one-year-old and she is twenty-three. Two years had passed since the last time he was in this situation—in her room—watching her cry herself raw on her bed.
And yet Damian knew—it has to be about him again.
Garfield.
His right eye twitched at the thought. An empty smile on his lips as he looked at Raven sob.
'Didn’t you say it was over—so what is this.’ The words never came out of Damian’s lips, but it almost had but she felt his intentions. And if Damian had known that his thought had been conveyed to her through his emotions—then maybe he’d think: for the first time she finally noticed my feelings.
Raven noticed that Damian had entered her room—how could she not with what he was emitting. It has been so long since the two were in this situation. It had been two years to be exact. And she felt guilty—because the last time he had comforted her in here—she said her and Garfield were really done.
And here she is—the proof of a lie.
“I—” Raven tried to muffle her cries but failed. “Him and I—we hooked up.” And to Damian those words were crushing but not as crushing as what the word 'hooked up’ entailed. Was she—she couldn’t be— “And so we secretly dated after that.” Damian couldn’t help but sigh when he heard her say that.
It wasn’t as bad as the thought of Raven being pregnant. He thought that he must be an awful person for thinking such a thing.
“But then… does that mean—” Damian looked at Raven in confusion, piecing something together in his head. How long has she been lying?
“For almost a year.” She softly sobbed as she wiped a tear away. Damian felt like he had been punched. A year. He had been trying to make her happy for two—but that one year—that half time he placed in effort, even when it was masked mostly as group activities—was happiness that Damian was not able to give her—but Garfield had.
And Damian simply saw the truth of the matter, the recent year when Raven seemed even more happier than the last—it was not because of him. He should have known. No—he must have noticed—Ah. That is right. He had seen the signs but chose to ignore it.
“Isn’t he with that girl named Terra?” Damian asked softly, quite blindsided by the truth. Raven nodded in response and he felt that same old anger he had not felt since that time two years ago—in this room, seeing her nod to his question- return to the surface. A symbol of agreement resulted in an anger that had been buried which was now reignited.
“But they had taken a break when Garfield and I got back together.” She quickly added before he could say something and oddly enough that subsided a bit of Damian’s anger. “It was just a hookup, no attachment. He was upset and hurt and I was lonely—and we knew each other well.” Raven had stopped crying at this point and was picking on her fingertips looking for hangnails with furrowed brows.
She sighed as she looked up at her ceiling as she let her silent tears fall, “It wasn’t supposed to mean anything—”
“But the love you had for him was reignited, right?” Damian couldn’t help but cut her off with a bite in his tone. And he chuckled—it was empty and shallow. “So, what is it this time? Am I supposed to be surprised you broke up again? Well this isn’t the first break up you two had—and last time surely wasn’t the last!” A hollow laugh came from Damian as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
“God, how stupid!” Damian suddenly yelled and Raven stood up to glare at him.
“How can you call me stupid! I loved him whole-heartedly for seven years and I continued to love him for two more—you don’t forget that. Even when it’s muddled—it’s a fact that I have loved him for so long and invested so much into him—into me—for him and me- us. And even when we broke up—I will always love him. He will always have a special place in my heart.” Raven paused to calm herself, the words she was spilling felt as thought she was stabbing herself too. “Even when he broke up with me now—because he realized he loves Terra.” She bit her lip and Damian looked at her like she was the stupidest person on earth.
Damian suddenly laughed, it was a rather wholehearted laughter and yet it held such muted grief.
“You think I called you stupid?” He looked at her in the eyes, and something about his stare hinted to a degree of insanity. “You actually think I called you stupid?” He shook his head with a faint smile on his lips as he glanced at the space beside her. “I’m the one who’s stupid!” Raven took a step back in confusion as she studied Damian with a knot in her chest—she thought that Damian looked a little mad.
“I like you! For the longest time, I have liked you!” Raven looked at him as if he had grown an extra head. “I might even actually love you—but what do I know—after all—you said it yourself: I don’t know what that is like!” Raven looked at him thinking when had she said that, and she realized it must have been the last time they were in this room together when he was comforting her. She had opened her lips to tell her that: that was not what she had meant, but Damian continued on.
“But you never noticed my feelings for you! I was just a fly in comparison to Garfield. Maybe if I wasn’t three years younger than you—then maybe you might take me seriously! Or maybe if I had known you first than Garfield—then maybe you would actually look my way!” Damian’s stare had started to become a hateful glare. “You know when you two broke up for reals-” He said mockingly. “I thought that maybe—maybe—this was it. This was my chance to get you to notice that I have liked you for the longest time. Maybe this was the moment you would let Garfield go and let someone else show you—just how much you deserved to be treated. How special you are to that one person—how important you are to at least one person.” Damian’s angry glare softens into resignation.
“It didn’t have to be me. It could be anyone.” He paused as he pressed his lips and squeezed his eyes shut for a second and he looked at her again. “That is fine. I don’t think I deserve that kind of special someone to dote on—and love me.” He paused again, but Raven didn’t know what to say as he looked down on the floor. “But I wanted you—” He looked back at her again with mournful eyes. “I wanted at least for you, to be happy. I wanted to know that all the years you spent crying over some stupid guy over a stupid little thing because of a stupid relationship—is happy. I wanted that for you.” He pressed his lips together as he shook his head and evaded her shock eyes.
And then the silence allowed the two to think of what had just happened. It gave Damian the time to really process what was happening—what he had said and he was shocked at what he had done.
No.
He had just confessed to her.
No.
He looked up at her with a shocked expression, his eyes so wide in realization. He had said aloud the thoughts that have been plaguing him for years, the glimpse of how his thought process has changed as Raven’s relationship with Garfield became a bane of his existence—of what he thought was also her’s and Garfield’s.
Damian’s face paled, wishing he could take back what he had just said and done. The secrets and frustration he had held in was finally said. And it sat between them rather heavily.
“I—” They had both spoken at the same time and a pause followed. Damian stared at Raven, unsure who had spoken—was it her or him. Before anything else could be said and done, Damian stormed off with his fist clenched and with long strides close to a dash.
Damian had been punching the sandbag aggressively for almost two hours now following his confession. He was embarrassed and frustrated. And thinking of so many ways to take back what he had said and done. Prior to those thoughts, he had evaluated how he could have handled the situation better.
Damian gave the sandbag a very powerful right punch that the poor weakened sandbag gave in to the hit. His fist was inside the sandbag and as he was about to pull his fist out, the sand spilling out from the hole, he heard Raven calling his name. He turned to his left to look at her with furrowed brows, and her eyes shifted from him and the sand pouring out from the sandbag, her expression worried.
Raven had been calling out to Damian a few times already before he had noticed her. If Damian knew he would be greatly disappointed with himself.
“Damian…” She started at Damian’s fist that was still half inside the sandbag.
“Look—forget what I had said. I said it to distract you. I did it as my obligation as the team leader.” He said coldly as he fully retracted his fist from the sandbag, more sand poured out from his action. He looked away from her as he checked his fists for damage. He was surprised to see that he had bruised and had cuts on his hands. His right hand had the most damage.
“No.” Raven said as she took a step forward, he turned his head at her with a glare. Raven does not back down. “We need to talk about this.”
Damian was contemplating how to bolt from this situation and Raven could tell his intentions. So, before Damian could act about his thoughts, she grabbed his fists and he flinched.
“Seriously, we can’t have our leader’s fists injured.” She said as she checked his injuries up close, turning his fists in her hands, taking her time. He was quiet but his jaw was locked and his brows so closely knit to each other.
“I—” Raven looked up at him, straight into his eyes and Damian was startled as his eyes met hers. “I had noticed your feelings before.” She softly confessed and Damian’s fists clenched, before he could yank his hands away from hers- Raven firmly held his hands in hers. “I had noticed.” Her expression seemed to have glazed over and she sighed aloud and dispelled her thoughts.
“I had noticed. But it became overlooked as I was more focused on—other things—” And for a moment her eyes glazed over again. “On Gar.” A sad smile on her lips.
“His love overshadowed your little crush on me. I—focused on him and me so much that anything else was just white noise. I forgot that you had a crush—it was just an afterthought that was forgotten.” To Raven, Damian looked as though he wanted to yank his hands off of hers and storm off, but with clenched jaws he fought not to. “And I am truly sorry.” She said as she healed his hands.
Raven licked her lips and pressed it together but her eyes looking at the ground, “And—yes—our age had been a factor – why I didn’t take you seriously. There was one time that I considered the possibility of dating you. And our age gap-” Raven made a displeased face. “bothered me. And three years, I know it isn’t much,” She glanced at Damian. “But it’s undeniable that at some point I was of legal age and you weren’t. And that—that unsettled me. But mostly—it’s because of my love for Garfield- that made me always overlook your crush. And—I really am sorry.”
Raven was looking at Damian with wavering eyes, she felt guilty, but she was also very sincere on her apology.
'This,’ She thought. 'is the final push I needed to really move on from Gar.’ As she lets go of Damian’s hands.
“I hope, everything said and done today—doesn’t affect our relationship—in fact I hope it clarified the things between us.” Raven said dispelling the guilt she had. “You are a great leader Damian, you always think of everyone, and I guess that is why you never said or did anything that could be permanently damaging to the team.”
With that Damian buried the thoughts that he was having, like did he have a chance to be with her now? No—Raven is right—he couldn’t risk the team dynamic. But he also came to love her a little bit more. She seemed to always see something more in him, things he could never see in himself.
'It’s probably why you never attempted to confess to me—to not add to the mess that was Garfield and me.’ Raven had mulled over in silence with a smile that was neither sad nor happy. Which made Damian curious if it was a smile out of happiness or sadness because then he would know the meaning behind her smile.
~.~.~.~.~
Three months after Damian’s sudden confession, Raven took the initiative to go to Damian who was in his bedroom.
It was rather late at night but she had made a decision already and wanted to tell Damian at that very moment. The room was rather dark but they were both used to it, their eyes adjusted well or maybe even better at the dark.
After Damian’s confession, their relationship was rather strained- how could it not be with such a revelation? But the two worked hard to flatten out the strain and finally they were in a position that was back to normal but never quite the same. But it was perfect—in the oddest way—it was perfect and they were content.
“Damian, I know it’s late…” Raven rubbed her left elbow with her right hand. “But with everything that has happened these past few months—I know I have to tell you this now.”
Hearing this Damian was worried. “Please Raven, continue.” He said as he pats the space beside him, on his bed. But she shook her head in rejection and she avoided his gaze. He understood that the words she was going to say were difficult on her part, and he waited patiently. He quietly observed her as she chewed on her lips and finally sighed.
“I’m planning to leave.” The oxygen in Damian’s room felt like it wasn’t enough for him to breath. And Raven instantly became worried seeing him in a mix of shock and fear. She approached him cautiously, her hand extended towards him. Raven was two steps away from Damian when he suddenly shot up to his feet and she froze as she studied him.
Damian was ashen, his jaw clenched and his fists flexing, but his eyes that were on her—seemed to go through her and in his green eyes she saw him shredding his initial reaction into oblivion. He closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath and when he exhaled, that was when Raven found herself unfrozen and had touched Damian’s arm. She looked up at him, a fear in the base of her throat that felt like it was going to burst, but he only glanced at her in silent confusion.
“I don’t plan to leave now—I was just making you aware that I will—maybe in a few months.” She blurted out, in order to speak before Damian could. “I think it’s for the best—it’s still kind of hard to see Garfield. Especially now—no maybe particularly now—because I really want to move on from him.”
“He will always affect you.” Damian whispered with the smallest hint of resignation. And before Raven could acknowledge it, he added, “It can’t be helped, our team and Young Justice cross paths now and then—and recently it seems to be more frequent.” His tone was that of a firm leader that Raven completely forgot his previous remark.
“Yes, that is exactly it.” She softly agreed. In the silence that followed she realized that she was still resting her palm on Damian’s arm, she pulled away quickly and looked away from his general direction.
“I’m not planning to leave anytime soon—so you really don’t have to worry about my replacement yet.” She said jokingly but he only quietly nodded as he observed her.
Not even a week after Raven’s revelation of leaving due to the difficulty of seeing Garfield, the three found themselves in a room in the Titan Tower. Damian was standing in front of Garfield while Raven stood by Damian’s left side with her arms crossed over her chest. A rather strained triangle was formed between the three.
“We need your help on this Damian, I’m here to try and convince you.” Garfield said as Damian took notes on Raven from the corner of his eyes. She looked as neutral as she could, but he knew that she must be having difficulties seeing him so soon— with Garfield acting as though him and her were not a thing a few months ago.
“I don’t think I need convincing, Garfield. If it’s an order from the league I cannot say no to it.” Damian simply responded.
“Well, that is true, but I guess I am here for formality’s sake.” He replied but his eyes glanced at Raven, who had caught his eyes and so did Damian.
“Raven is my right hand, and she has been in the team the longest. We will discuss how we can best assist and inform our team.” Damian firmly decided, Raven nodded her head, arms still crossed.
“Oh—well—” Garfield glanced at Raven then Damian, “I thought maybe I could—”
“We need to discuss how best to help as soon and as quickly as possible.” Damian cuts in, and Raven nodded again silently. Garfield at this point is blatantly looking at Raven. He had intended to try and talk to her, but it seemed that she did not want to.
“I—” Garfield had begun to say.
“We will contact you Gar.” Raven quietly said before Garfield could say anything else.
Maybe she did want to talk to him, it’s just that they were more focused on the mission and intel he had just provided. Garfield thought as he nodded absent-mindedly.
Damian turned to leave and Raven followed before the conversation between the three could be dragged out by Garfield.
Damian walked quickly to his room and Raven followed absent-mindedly. When they arrived in Damian’s room, Raven just stood in the center blankly. Damian cleared his throat.
“I know this isn’t the best place to bring you in—” She heard him say and she glanced at her surroundings, realizing where she was. Damian had led her to his bedroom. “But you don’t have to participate if you don’t want to.” Raven simply shook her head.
“No. I am a part of this team; I am just as responsible as you are Damian.” And he knew her well enough to know that Raven had made up her mind, and that she will not change her mind. If only he had known then, what would happen in the mission- because he had allowed her to go, then maybe things would be different for him and her.
“I know you wanted to leave because of Garfield—and this happens—if you ever want to leave this mission half-way, I totally understand.” Raven looked at him with a gentle gaze, glad for Damian’s thoughtfulness. But this was work, she should be able to do this mission. And maybe—this should be the last. And she nodded as she responded to his offer, little did Damian know that Raven was thinking of having this as her last and final mission as a Titan.
A good way to end a bad relationship she supposed—working one last time with an ex she was trying to avoid.
“I need to call in for a team meeting.” Damian sighed while shaking his head and putting a hand on his forehead. And she smiled faintly at him, but her mind steered back to a green skinned boy, she still knew she loved.
~.~.~.~.~
Damian did not expect things to turn out like this. They were pushed in a corner, the creature facing his direction trying to spot anyone on his side. Tim was somewhere behind the creature tending to a team member who had fallen. Damian was unsure if Tim was tending a Titan or a member of the Young Justice team from his hiding place behind a car.
Terra attacked the albino twenty-foot creature. And Raven who was on the far side of Damian’s general left area, heard Terra’s battle cry. The next thing Raven knew was a knot in her heart as she heard Garfield who was in vulture form, screaming Terra’s name.
Raven instantly stood up from her hiding place and ran to the center still very far from Damian. Raven saw Terra’s body flung towards her general direction and Raven catched her by putting a shield around Terra which slowed and protected her from a dangerous fall. But the act left Raven extremely vulnerable.
Garfield had landed near Damian and shifted back into human form. Raven’s eye caught the black eyes of the creature—if you can call them eyes. And she realized what it was about to do, she placed a force field around herself quickly as she reprimanded herself for her stupid move of going out of her hiding place to help Terra out. She knew completely that her decision was impaired due to Garfield screaming Terra’s name with such fear. She hated herself for being affected by it.
She hated that she still places him in high regard.
Suddenly—it was quiet. Raven’s face twisted into confusion. The shield around her was up, so why did she feel the blood drain from her? She felt rather weak. She heard Garfield screaming her name—she couldn’t help but smile. Thinking that Garfield could still scream her name the way he did when he screamed Terra's—was oddly comforting. She turned to look at her left where Damian and Garfield were, confused as she could hear another male call her name.
Raven’s eyes landed on Damian’s face, a contortion of shock and fear and maybe five other more emotions that she could not quite place. He was screaming her name, looking as though at any moment now, he would run to her. And she was even more confused. She turned back to look at the creature, but with her gaze that was casted down, she noticed what had happened.
Yes, her shield was up. But there was a black spike that passed through her shield. No—it wasn’t that it passed through, it seemed that her shield allowed it to—or to be exact her shield couldn’t close onto the black spike. She followed where the spike continued on after passing her shield, and she was in a state of serenity to see that it hit her- just below her sternum.
The mix of screams from Damian and Garfield was something she tried to focus her mind on.
Her shield dissipated as she found herself coughing blood, and the black single spike on her chest retracted. She stared at the creature blankly as the spike entered its palm. Raven slowly dropped to her knees; her brows furrowed. She could not think straight.
They were still screaming her name. She turned her head, initially planning to look at Garfield, finding it so very odd to hear him call out her name the way he was. She never knew that he would be worried about him like that after everything they had been through. But when she turned her head to the left, as her body tilted back—it was Damian who her eyes laid on.
And her eyes widened as she realized the truth. She could only hear Damian’s screaming now—but she was aware that Garfield was screaming her name too because he was in clear view from where she now laid. But her eyes focused on Damian.
For the first time she had seen and felt Damian’s fear, something she was certain he couldn’t express prior to this moment in time. She could just feel him telling her not to give in, but her eyes were droopy. She felt tired.
And for the first time she truly felt his feelings for her. The rawness—the intensity. How could she have missed it?
Raven tried to extend her hand to Damian, feeling rather guilty—and hoping she was at least able to convey her apology though the act. But it was so very difficult to keep her eyes open.
'I should have known.’ Raven thought as she tried to keep herself conscious. 'I shouldn’t have taken you for granted. I should have given you the chance—I should have taken the chance sooner to move on from a relationship that did me no good.’ Raven thought she saw Damian running towards her—but maybe it was just an illusion.
'If there is some other life—I wish to give you a chance. I wish to be happy with you.’ She swore to herself.
And her eyes fluttered shut. Raven was unsure if she indeed felt her body being lifted up from the ground. Damian held her gently in his arms as he glared at the creature’s back who was currently distracted by Tim on the other side.
'I should have seen and felt you. I am a pathetic empath for missing such an important thing. It was clearly so obvious—and clearly in front of me. You do love me Damian, I wish I could tell you that. You had loved me for the longest time—and I did not notice.
It’s pure and true—it is still love; The love I have been wanting—I’m glad I got it from you.’ Raven silently confessed to herself, the words she wished he could hear, she wished that she could have confessed it to him.
When Damian Al Ghul reached the side of his beloved—Raven. She had exhaled her last breath a long time ago. All he could do now was hold her lifeless blue corpse in his hands. He did not understand and could not comprehend—no, it was simply denial—what has happened to his beloved Raven who was in his arms.
He was kneeling down on the ground, a hand resting on the back of her neck. Her head limp and eyes closed and lips so terribly blue, his other arm under her legs. She had died a long time ago, had he come a minute earlier; nothing would have changed.
Time felt awfully too slow for him at that very moment. And yet, he was so very aware of every breathing, moving thing or person around him. And it made the non-existent breathing and moving of his beloved’s chest so sickeningly deafening in his ears.
His lips opened, and his inhalation was slow. “I want them all dead.” He heard himself say, his head spinning. “No—I want their limbs pulled apart, and I want them to suffer.” He heard himself continue on.
“Yes, my lord.” An assassin in black replied.
The heat from the flames around Damian reached his skin.
For a moment, he thought that maybe the heat would warm the cold body in his arms. He pulled her closer, but she was still freezing. He looked up at the sky, imaging a life without the woman he was cradling. And soft splatters of water fall from the sky.
It was like heaven was agreeing: that a life without her, was not a life worth living.
The rain drops pick up, and it felt like pellets against his skin. The cold from the rain quickly settles against his skin, and a small part of him longed for the heat. And he pulled her tightly against him, trying to protect her from the rain.
“You’re already so cold—no more…” He whispered brokenly; his eyes closed tightly as his back arched to shield her from the rain. But her body was so stiff against his, and it just made his heart ache even more.
Behind Damian was chaos. There were orange flames licking everything, his assassins catching those who aren’t a part of the league. Dead bodies littered all around, some people trapped inside the flames. And there was a lot of screaming. And because the rain was strong, the flames were contained but not enough to put the flames out. And Damian screamed and wept. His screams mixed with the harsh sounds of the rain and the chaos behind him. His tears blending with the painful rainfall against his face.
Eventually the flames were quelled by the rain and the screaming of frightened people disappeared. And even the pellets of water weren’t as painful and strong anymore. In front of Damian, the eerily dark, empty and silent forest seemed to mock him.
He too, stopped grieving. He couldn’t even tell if his throat was hoarse from screaming, or if his eyes burned after weeping so much. All Damian knew was emptiness now.
His assassins were hidden, too afraid to even approach him in such a state. They could see very clearly how broken their lord has become. They could see that he had fully entered into the darkness. This was something they have wanted collectively, and yet they feared the day that it would come—of the change necessary—and here it was.
The day they had feared the most.
A death they feared more of happening then their master’s.
Raven was an existence to them that was almost rather vile. It wasn’t that she was a bad person, it was because she was quite the opposite that they recognized the danger. The implication.
The weakness a Demon’s Head should not be having. And yet, it was also the same reason why they would go out of their way to ensure her safety. They could see clearly the kind of man their lord can be when she is taken off the equation. And they feared that kind of man even more.
Sometimes the assassins of the league would think that there really was no right or wrong between a Damian with or without his Raven. But they are Damian Al Ghul’s underlings, so of course, they would just follow. And since they knew he wanted her safe, following that would be easier than deciding who to fear more.
Him without her, or him with her.
Her clothes were no longer white. Her robes were always so pristinely white, thus she always stood out amongst the assassins with their black garbs. Now, it had the tinge of brown, and there was blood, dirt and rips everywhere, and mud on the parts that touch the ground. The assassins felt awful seeing her in that state. It was simply unfamiliar.
And Damian suddenly stood up. The air around him grew lifeless.
What would their leader do?
“Let’s go.” He said in such an empty tone. His voice is slightly different from what his assassins were used to.
His assassins reappeared around him. “Let’s return to Nanda Parbat.”
When Damian arrived at Nanda Parbat, the assassins who were not with their lord previously, upon seeing their lady’s lifeless corpse, understood the situation quickly. And they found that they were holding back their shivers of fear. Soon, the entire place was filled with lifelessness and trepidation.
“Prepare a basin of water, a wash cloth, sponge and every kind of essential oils we have.” Damian ordered as he continued to walk through his palace. The echoes of his footsteps are very eerie.
“Prepare the best silks we have too.” He added quietly.
He brought Raven into a room. “This was supposed to be my surprise for you.” He mumbled looking at the walls and decorations in the room. “I painstakingly prepared everything for you.” He mumbled, setting her down gently on the bed. He kneels by her side, holding her hand and resting it on his forehead. And he wept silently.
Her fingers were so stiff and cold against his skin. And it made his heart ache again.
Soon his subjects placed all that he asked for in the room. They did not say a thing about their own master kneeling on the floor by the side of his dead lover. And they quietly left just like how they entered– in complete silence.
Minutes passed before he pulled away from her lifeless body. His heart ached as he tried to remove her clothes off of her. He was so careful, he had to be. He was so afraid he’d hurt her more. And when all the dirty clothes were off her, his eyes twitched at the bruises and wounds all over her body.
He couldn’t save her.
Silent tears fell from his eyes as his shaking hands reached out for the sponge and water with some lavender oils. He gently cleaned her with the sponge and dried her skin with the washcloth. And with all the dirt and blood off of her body, he could see even more clearly all the wounds and bruises.
He was late—too late.
But as he cleaned her, he had made up his mind. He has resources.
“You might hate me for this. But I am willing to take the consequences.” He slipped in a white silk dress on her. And he picks her up, his eyes full of resolve.
The next thing Damian knew was the brown walls of the cavern illuminated by torches. And the green liquid of the pool in front of him. He was very familiar with this place. He could hear the sound of the flickering torches around him, and the sound of breathing from his own lips.
The woman in his arms, must have been dead for a few hours now. The pool looked very inviting, despite its disgusting color.
“There have been a few people that the Lazarus Pit revived—and the consequences, my beloved, I am willing to take.” He stroked her cold cheek. “Forgive me.” His apology was simply lip service. He actually didn’t care if he would hate her. He wouldn’t care if she would not be the same.
A life without her—was really—a life he was not willing to live.
As long as her heart was beating, and there was breath in her lungs, then everything was worth it.
He kissed her forehead gently and then looked at the Lazarus Pit. His eyes were cold and determined. He took a step near the pit and continued on. His hold on her was gentle, her head resting on his shoulder. Soon the water was around his waist and he lowered her. He waited for a moment, his heart aching at having to fully submerge his beloved into the green liquid, but he cannot hesitate now.
Damian kneeled and so Raven was submerged under the water, his head above the water.
He waited and waited. And it felt so long that it hurt.
She had already died because he was too late and here he was drowning her dead body. It felt like he was killing her ten times over. But he closed his eyes, his jaw clenched tightly.
And finally, he felt her twitch against him and arms wrapped around him. He quickly pulled her up by standing up. There was a lot of screaming from her, her entire eyes black.
“Raven! Raven!” He called out but she kept screaming. “It’s me!” And he felt a sting on his left shoulder. She had bit him hard, he was bleeding.
“It’s me.” He coaxed her as he patted her head. “It’s me.” He hugged her and she whimpered, teeth still on his shoulder.
“My Lord!” It was the familiar voice of a woman he had become friends with when he was twelve. The worry in her voice was so unlike her. He turned around, and for the first time, her face was not frozen in the expression that he was used to—indifference. Her facial expression matched the tone of her voice.
It was so clear on her face and in her tone, the fear and the pain she felt.
And when her eyes landed on Raven whose teeth were still on his shoulder, her body winced. She gulped down her messy thoughts. And suddenly fell to her knees.
“I should have been there!” She said her head casted down.
“Raven is perfectly fine.” Damian replied, and the woman before him, who was his shadow, his right hand—among other things, just clenched her fist silently.
“I should have been summoned back. I should have gone back.” She made her mind up. She shouldn’t have waited for a summon.
“Everything is alright. Raven is fine.” He caressed his lover’s black hair. “You had a mission to complete. And my Raven– my beloved Raven is completely safe.” Damian insisted as he continued to caress the hair of the woman in his arms who had growled at him like an animal.
“We will be alright.” Damian finally said as he walked out from the waters of the pit. The lady outside the pool silently kneeled with clenched eyes and fists.
Raven was never the same, but Damian welcomed the change with open arms. After all, she was still breathing and alive.
