Raven 80’s outfit

Cyborg and Raven is such an underrated couple.

Demon baby ❤

Happy Valentine’s day

I never drew casual titans so !!

A lil’ Raven doodle I posted on instagram

Some Raven studies uwu

Author’s Notes: 

I’d like to say, that I am grateful to be safe from the typhoon that passed by the Philippines a few days ago. I’d like to ask whoever is reading this to please pray and hope for the best for everyone who was hit by this destruction.

~.~.~.~.~.~.

I have lived and stayed at the same place for so many years.

This was my home. 

Home had red skies with red orange liquid streaming way down below me. The towers of dark brown rocks stretched to the horizons. My spot in this place was at the top of one of those big mountain rocks. 

Whenever I wake up, the scenery is always the same, nothing ever changes in my world, my home.

I had awoken from a long slumber and I was greeted with the same view when I had fallen asleep. Nothing ever changes here and I have come to enjoy this fact.

Red skies that stretched for miles and bright molten liquid streaming down below. Big giant towers of rocks erected around me and the temperature was as it always had been, hot– burning hot.

This didn’t bother me though as this had always been home. I was simply used to it. The same thing could be said about the other residents here. 

They were similar, no– they genuinely looked the same. White hair with black horns, yellow eyes, red skin and the same piece of clothing that oddly covered their legs. 

They too didn’t seem to mind the scorching heat.

And so, I returned to my slumber, because nothing ever changes in my home. I would simply wake every now and then to be greeted by the same environment I love: the red skies, the towers of rocks, the red liquid and the residents. And home was very warm.

And then one day, I felt something heavy lean against me, and so I was undoubtedly stirred awake. No one ever bothered me, and so I was confused as to why anyone would dare to now.

Something was gently splattering on me, later on, I would find out it was called tears.

Fully awake now, I realized that you were different from the other residents here.

You had black hair that stopped way past your chin, violet eyes and pale skin. So very different indeed from the residents here; where their skin was mostly left bare, yours was clad in more fabric than I have ever seen them wear. 

You were greatly smaller than them in terms of structure– very different indeed.

You said it was scary here.

You said you hated it here.

You said: that after all you’ve done, you deserved to be in hell.

I did not get it– was hell bad?

But this was my home, and my heart ached when you said such things about it.

Was hell really that bad?

I understood that you hated this place so much. It felt like your voice was dripping with hatred.

I decided, I will return to sleep instead. I didn’t want you to ruin my view of my beloved home. Perhaps when I wake up again, you who were greatly different from the constant that I have known, will leave too. 

When I wake again you will be gone and I can just think of you as an odd dream. So very odd to dream about someone like you, since you were the first you I had ever seen.

But you often came to visit me and at first it brought me great distress. You were not a dream, a figment of my imagination. I truly wished you were– but I guess it wouldn’t make sense to have thought of you so vividly when you were the first you I had seen. 

I never thought it was possible to have clothes the same shade as the hair of the resident’s here. This was such an interesting thought to have, now that I have realized this peculiarity.

Well, I guess you are now a resident here too. The resident anomaly.

You always wept over the same things. 

How much you hated it here.

How scary it was.

How scary your father was.

How scary your brothers were– in the very least this information was new. The residents here, who all looked like one another, were your brothers. 

Brothers, I wonder if I had any.

But why didn’t you look anything like them?

Why did you have black hair? Why are you wearing more clothes than them? Why is your stature smaller?

These were questions I had no answers to.

Eventually your grievances will start to decrease but the damage is already done, your words have already been planted in me and swayed me. But at this moment, this is something I have not realized yet.

Perhaps my home really was just as awful as you had told me. I just hadn’t realized it because this was home for way too long.

The sky was a ugly and unnatural color. The temperature was more than just too hot, and the red liquid beneath was just contributing to the unbearable heat. The same rock formations that stretched for miles in all directions was very annoying too.

These were things I came to feel about because of you.

You talked about a place you loved dearly that you had brought to its own doom.

And listening to you, I too started to believe: that maybe you did deserve to be in hell.

I wanted to see the world you claimed you brought to its own demise. I wanted to see how beautiful it was for you to call my home ugly and dreadful– and deserving for someone who had brought death to an entire planet. 

You made me want to see more than what I have always been happy with– my home that you called hell.

An existence that used to bring me agony then became annoying which eventually became endearing– you became so very endearing to me. I didn’t know when it happened, but it did, and with that fondness that grew it became a root of frustration for me too.

That should have been a sign that you, who was different, would bring another unexpected variable to my once unchanging life. That my world would be changed again. 

That I would be changed. 

It was such a clear sign, I should have known better. At this point it is clear that you are a catalyst for change.

I remember that day. You came running to me, you who looked so determined. I wondered why, what could possibly make you look so strong and  brave. I wondered what you could possibly do to make such an expression, your motivation and drive.

And then you broke me.

At least, there was another unexpected outcome from you breaking me. I finally saw how similar you are to your brothers. And yet, still, so greatly different. 

Their bodies looked so stiff and hard, and yet you, even with red skin, and two sets of yellow eyes, retained the same black hair I’ve always known you by, still looked soft and fragile with the curves your brothers did not possess. Even with your black horns, I could not fully say you and your brothers were the same.

And yet, you and them are similar enough.

You hated them, you said they were cruel– your brothers and father. Weren’t you the same?

I didn’t want to be broken. I was full, and now I was just– not even a significant fraction of what I used to be. You broke me without a second thought and placed so much anger and hatred in me.

You called it Trigon.

I was reduced to pieces. I, who had lived here for centuries. 

I, who lived under the same red sky, the same towering mountain, above the same orange liquid for centuries. 

I, who had asked for nothing and received peace and quiet in return, on the spot I have always been–was broken by a variable Trigon called: Little Girl.

You placed me on the center of your face between what you called brows and there I stayed. 

I wondered for how long would I stay against your skin, since now I have come to know that there is nothing but impermanence for me now.

Since your arrival it seems that all I have for my future is momentariness. Something foreign to me has now become the only thing I should expect because of you.

You, the harbinger of nothing but fleeting moments. And me, the one forced to deal with the repercussions you bring.

Soon, I found out that Trigon was who you had said was scary and was your father.

I wondered if all father’s made their daughters feel that way.

That was what he called you: daughter.

You ungrateful daughter, I will make you pay for this treachery, were words I often heard. The anger in his words would seep into me slowly, this at least I could foresee.

After all, I did get swayed by your words about my beloved home and you only visited me a little too often than I would have liked. But this time you have placed your father inside of me, I foresee that I will be influenced even faster by your father than your presence that kept coming to me that time I was still whole.

After you trapped Trigon inside of me, you abandoned my home, abandoned your brothers and you brought me with you to a different world.

And yet again, another change.

I had no say on the matter, after all I was forever stuck on your forehead. I wondered if I would forever be housing Trigon within me too.

But this place was so, so, different from my home. I thought that hell was beautiful, but I was wrong, this place you called Earth was even more beautiful.

I came to like it here.

Earth.

You met people that looked like you, not with your red skin when you were entrapping your father inside of me, since it is only your brothers who had such a skin colour, but that of your pale skin but they had different shades and tones, and even that was so beautiful.

Everything was so new.

They asked for your name, and I realized, I never knew your name after all these years. Or I hadn’t paid attention, it might have shown how little I actually cared for you.

Raven, was your simple response. After how many years together, I now know your name.

A name. I wonder if I had one.

For the first time, this change was something I really loved more than my home that you called hell. Living in this place, you and the ones that look like you, called Earth.

The water here was different, it was like an accumulation of your tears. It was blue and vast and had many shapes. The ground here had so many living creatures, from what you called insects to plants to animals– to you, different looking creatures that almost looked like you– humans, that’s what they are.

I loved it here so much, but the appreciation for the new was difficult with your father constantly yelling: You ungrateful daughter!

I ignore it as best as I can because I wanted to love this unique place that could not compare to home. But still, I missed the red sky and what you called lava. 

But I was now stuck to you, where you are is where I will be. So I pushed your father’s angry and hateful words away. I pushed the longing for my beloved home away too. And I tried my best to live and love the place you have brought me to instead.

This majestic place you called Earth.

And then you fell in love. 

Love.

What a weird feeling it was. What a weird thing to feel for someone that looked like you– almost like you.

Green eyes, black hair, tan skin that was toned.

A toned body– that was what your brothers had, oddly, I missed them. Their unchanging presence from the years I have lived with them. I really missed them.

It was odd to love what you called a person. You do love him a lot. And it was even more odd that I could feel your love for him. 

You loved his smile, this man with green eyes and black hair. I, too, came to be very fond of him.

You called him Damian.

And he called you, Beloved.

Did you have many names? Why are you called Raven and Beloved? 

Do I have multiple names too? 

But at this point, I was already struggling so much. It was so difficult not to be affected by your father’s presence inside of me.

I have come to loathe you.

You ungrateful daughter, trapping me in this stone, you will regret it!  I will kill him! 

Is that my name? Stone? 

But I didn’t ask to be shattered into many pieces either. Trigon always complained about the injustice, the betrayal, and the pay back he will surely give you, Raven. But no one asked me if I wanted to house such darkness, negativity, pain, loathing and anger.

No one asked me.

And so, that was how I came to loathe you too, exactly the way your father felt about you, maybe because he has been in me for way too long.

You did not ask me if I wanted to be broken and hold your father within me. You did not ask me if I wanted to leave my beautiful, beautiful home. You did not ask me if I was feeling alright.

But then, I saw you smile from a wall that reflected you and Damian. I heard what people called laughter from you, and I saw myself against your head. 

I was red. Red. It was the color of my home– I was the color of my home– hell.

I couldn’t bring myself to loathe you. Not like this, not because of your father– especially not when I had finally seen and heard you so… happy. Not when I can feel that happiness too.

You gave me happiness and love, just as much as Trigon gave me anger and hate.

I didn’t want to hate you, Raven, not when Damian made you so happy. Not when I also shared and relished the happiness you were feeling. And yet, the same could be said about your father’s effect on me– I shared and relished his anger on you too.

The days blurred as I struggled to balance myself between love and hate, anger and happiness. And then you placed a vast darkness around your father– cutting him off from the world you are currently living in.

You did this because you were hiding what you and Damian do when you two are alone. I, however, was not immune to Trigon’s anger, in fact, it has also become mine. I, too, was not immune to you numbing your father out from what you do and what you see because I wasn’t the one inside the stone. 

I saw and heard what you and Damian do. And I felt the love you two had for one another.

You and Damian seemed happy, in the very least, and that alone anchored me to at least try and fight the pure rage inside of me that was always boiling and on certain days, boiling so much I can’t help but get confused in the loathing that wasn’t mine in the first place.

I hated you, Raven, but also didn’t want to.

You brat! Give me back my sight!

Your father would yell when you pull such a stunt. He would yell for you to return his sight back, to let him hear and see and know exactly what you are doing. But you won’t and for those times when you do such a thing, you do not feel him. But I still do. And amidst this, the warmth you have for Damian, and his warmth towards you was a stark difference to the boiling heat inside of me due to your father.

This too would help anchor me.

You cannot always keep your father in the dark because it would be too straining for you, but I know you are very capable, Raven.

Your life on Earth has also made me realize the importance of life. It made me understand why you hated your father. Although, I admit in my part, it took a little too long for me to comprehend. 

You have to understand, you have placed Trigon inside of me.

The drive you, your boyfriend and peers have to protect life made me understand that life had a value. And yet, why was I not part of that equation?

Was I not life? Is my life too insignificant to be considered?

It seemed that your father’s effect on me has run too deep. I seem to keep going back to the same thing, a hatred towards you that cannot be fully resolved. I had foreseen this, I shouldn’t be so surprised.

Your father will always be angry at you and would seek release from his confinement, and I would be swayed by his anger and think of it as mine. And then I would recall the peace and tranquility I had in my home that I missed for so long now but chose to ignore, and then after that, I would be filled with guilt. 

Because, after all, how could I hate you?

You too had not asked for this. You too are suffering because of your father. 

But at least you were happy, in the arms of a man with green eyes, who had at least contributed to this warmth I came to love too.

I decided that perhaps, it is better to slumber again and never wake. Perhaps it is better to be strong enough to hold onto Trigon and let you live your life. At least if I go back to sleep, I can still see my home. 

Still see and live through a time that has long passed.

I used to live a quiet life, in a world where the sky was red and the water was burning hot, which now I know is called lava.

But it was home and I loved it.

The beings that lived there in that hot climate were all men with red skin, white hair with black horns and yellow eyes. And oh how oddly they were clad.

And then she came.

Broke me to many pieces and that alone gave me the understanding of life.

I hope for the best for you and him– Damian. I hope I will not shatter in even little more pieces so that your father will forever be inside of me, so that, in the very least, you get to live a peaceful life. 

This, I truly want for you.

Despite the fact that I did not ask to be broken and be brought here, I truly do love what you have come to love. 

And for you to live a peaceful life, I shall fall into the deepest slumber I have ever gone into, and never wake. In this, I can guarantee that I would not be swayed by your father’s aggravations and feel myself weaken because of it. In this, I can secure your happiness. 

I will just be a stone. 

As I was and always had been a stone.

As I fell into my slumber, I saw the red sky and I recalled I used to be bigger than what I was now. The residents here looked so similar. And it was always so very warm.

I will get out of here Raven! You will regret this!

No, you won’t get out of here Trigon. I will be your prison for all eternity if it has to be. And with that I felt my outer layer harden even more and my final consciousness dissipates. 

Everyone called me a stone.

If a stone was to be cold and hard, you were probably the same. After all, you did not think twice when you thought of breaking me Raven.

Reciprocate III: The After

Reciprocate[ 1: Raven ,2 : Damian] 

Reciprocate 2021 Version[1: Raven,2: Damian]

~.~.~.~.~.

It took two years and almost a half for Raven to finally wake up from her coma. When she woke up her first reaction was to freak out. She jumped off her bed thinking that she had to go somewhere. 

 But Raven didn’t recall where she ought to go and what it was she had to do. 

 She knocked over a vase of flowers when her feet gave way and she was confused  as to why her legs felt like jelly. 

 She knew however that she had to check her surroundings and her current state. She was fortunate enough to not have injured herself with the shards of porcelain on the floor. She held onto her bed weakly, knowing that she had to go somewhere– but where?

“Raven!” A man had called out as he burst into the room banging the door loudly. She looked up at him with no recognition but the name he uttered was familiar to Raven however she couldn’t figure out why. 

The tone in his voice was filled with so much worry that she could not help but feel anxious too.

She observed him quickly scan the room until his eyes finally met hers. She was mesmerized by his green eyes and a strong sense of familiarity hit her. 

His uneasy state was greatly calmed when he saw her. When he sighed, she did too, and she shared the relief he felt too. He slowly approached her with a gentle expression as she remained on her spot, greatly leaning on her bed for support.

“Raven.” He whispered when he was two feet away and she realized that she was Raven– that was why the name was familiar. 

It was her name.

He picked her up and carried her in his arms and even though she did not know him, she wrapped her arms around his neck. She was at peace in his embrace– in his presence, she felt safe. And she did not make a fuss even when she didn’t know the identity of this man.

The strong sense of need then engulfed her, there was a name at the tip of her tongue that she felt she had to call out.

She struggled to form the word and then, “Damian.” She whispered as she squeezed him and sighed in relief. He had not corrected her so he must be Damian and she felt at peace knowing this.

She rested her forehead on his shoulder, as he carried her back to her bed. He set her down gently as he pulled away. She grabbed his right hand as she sat up as she studied their hands.

“It feels so perfect.” She gently told him, and Damian was startled by her words. A smile slowly formed on his lips and he found himself chuckling. And she found herself enamored by his soft laughter as a faint flutter settled in her chest. A strong sense of knowing came to her: that this man rarely smiled or laughed.

“I’ve been here almost every day, holding your hand. Maybe your hand molded into mine—” He shook his head in disbelief. “Or maybe the other way around.” Hearing his words ignited her anxiousness. 

What did that mean? How long has she been unconscious? And more importantly, who was he to her?

It occurred to her that there was nothing but blankness in her mind. These questions she couldn’t answer. She didn’t even know anything about herself. 

Why couldn’t she remember anything about anything?

Even so, Raven knew she had to at least try and stay calm.

“I—my memory is kind of fuzzy,” Raven said as she laid back in bed as she tried to calm her nerves simultaneously, but the realization that she didn’t recall anything bothered her. However, this man, named Damian, gave her a calmness that was indescribable. 

She knew him somehow. She trusted him without a doubt, even when she wasn’t sure of her name a moment ago– she knew she could trust him.

“But I know you, I remember you.” Raven continued on as she connected the dots that were vaguely on her mind. “I heard you so often, it became so scary when you weren’t there.” She knew him, she finally recalled, his voice that haunted her and the fear she felt when he said he would let her go. 

She did not want him to let her go, she recalled her dread and she clenched his hand. 

Aside from him, she was uncertain about everything else, and she was afraid to know the reasons and the hows or what, but she found herself drifting into sleep. 

Raven wanted to fight the drowsiness because she was so aware that she had just woken up, but there was a part of her that wanted to go back to sleep. If she woke up and he wasn’t there at least she can pretend that this encounter was just a dream, at least then it would hurt less. She held his hand tightly until she fully fell into slumber, to which her grip finally loosened.

Damian took the opportunity of Raven falling asleep to call the doctors and scientists to inform them of her recent development.

When Raven awoke again, she was afraid, even more than when she had awoken earlier that day. She was afraid that the one she called Damian would have really left her like he had said before. Those words that haunted her dreams for who knew how long she was asleep.

“I have decided. I am moving on– I am letting you go.” Those were the words that kept ringing in her head. The fear that came felt like an assault on her soul. It was unwelcomed and it hurt, but she did not know where to find solace.

When the thought of Damian not being there with her crossed her mind, the fear felt like it was about to burst out of her. Even Raven, with her non-existent memory, could tell that her fear was more than just hearing him tell her that he can’t wait for her any longer. It was like she couldn’t breathe even though the air was just there. She could feel that the fear was very deeply rooted into her and she wondered why it is so, why or what could have caused this suffocating feeling.  

What caused this fear to be this strong that it felt like he was life itself?

She jolted up on her bed, ready to jump out to look for him, but then she saw Damian and a tear slipped down her right cheek as a loud exhale escaped her lips. She found herself breathing again, as if the fear of losing him never attacked her in the first place.

It was like air was given back to her lungs, and life was given meaning.

Damian was talking to a doctor and a scientist, but to Raven she thought that he was talking to two doctors in a lab coat. Seeing strangers made her nervous. She started to breathe heavily and with Damian’s sharp hearing, he turned to her instantly and with long strides was already by her side.

“I’m right here.” He told her as he touched her shaking hand and she grabbed his hand with strength she didn’t know she possessed.

“Who are they? What do they want?” She asked giving him a death grip. Damian was surprised by her reaction and tried to soothe her in a gentle tone.

“Raven,” He looked at the doctor and scientist. “They are the head of their department that helped me keep you safe.” He continued on but he noticed the confused look she had on her face when he said head of their departments. 

Raven opened her lips but Damian cut her off, “It’s best if I don’t explain to you your medical history, it would only cause you stress.” He cupped her cheek and caressed her face gently, wiping the stray tear away.

“I– I understand.” She replied as she glanced at the two people in their lab coats. They looked at her like she was some kind of miracle but mostly like a specimen. It was another question added to her list: Why did they look at her like that?

“You two may leave, I will contact you later.” Damian ordered in a soft manner as he glanced at the two in lab coats. His tone was controlled to not freak Raven out. 

The pair look at one another for a moment and then, “We understand.” One said and they left quietly.

“See, those people are completely harmless.” Damian said, turning around to look at Raven like coaxing a child, but he was surprised to see her teary eyes. He couldn’t help but suck his bottom lip inside his mouth as he tried to look as neutral as he could, but he was suddenly wrapped in her embrace, her small back shaking. 

“Everything is fine.” He told her as he slowly wrapped his arms around her. Raven suddenly burst into sobs.

“I thought you were gone!” She wept, hugging him as tightly as she could in terror as she caved in. Hearing this, Damian felt his heart ache and the next second he was convincing himself not to keep his hopes up.

“I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.” He comforted her in a low voice and she froze. She pulled away to look at him, staring directly into his green eyes as if seeing right through him.

“You said that too, I heard you. But– but–” A tear slipped down her eyes as she blinked. “You then said you were going to leave me.” The words barely got out of her mouth, as her lower lip quivered. Raven found that she could not hug him again, instead she buried her face into her hands as she wept. “You promised.”

He was frozen hearing this, he heard her? How long had she heard him? Did she hear everything?

“I–” He shakily said but Raven cut him off.

“Don’t lie to me!” She glanced up quickly at him and then sobbed back into her hands.

“No. I wasn’t going to lie.” He said and she stopped crying and looked up at him with doubtful eyes. He cupped her face in a solemn expression. “I just– I couldn’t see you like that anymore.” 

She wondered if he was lying, and he wondered the same too. Raven silently gave him another hug as she silently cried. After minutes passed, Raven finally stopped crying, but he continued to hold her for a few more minutes before pulling away.

“You need to gather strength, you need to eat a lot, and train your legs.” He told her in his best soothing voice while wiping away her tears and caressing her face. He wondered if this would be the first and only time he could hold her and touch her in such a manner. 

She nodded profusely in response. “Okay.” She agreed instantly.

“Okay,” He said as he stood up and she looked at him with slight fear. “I’m going to get a damp washcloth to put over your eyes.” He said in the same tone he had been using this whole time– gentle, tender, caring and perhaps even loving.

“Alright.” She said with a small nod and pressed lips as she slowly lay down in bed. He nodded at her and slowly left the room. She kept her eyes on him until he was out of sight and kept her gaze by the door waiting for his return. She patiently waited even though her anxiousness was growing louder as his absence grew longer. 

When Damian finally returned she sighed at the instance she saw him. He had a bowl with water and a face towel inside soaking in the water.

A thought crossed her mind, Raven felt like she was the cloth and Damian was the water, she couldn’t but absorb him into her and want to keep him with her, the basin ensuring that the two will always be together.

“Relax, I’ll be here unless you tell me to leave.” He sat down on the chair beside her bed and she frowned at what he said. “I’m sorry, I’ll be here, always.” He corrected himself and she nodded firmly, closing her eyes. Damian takes that as a gesture that he may place the cloth over her eyes. He twisted the cloth in order for the excess water to leave it, and she placed the damp cloth over her eyes.

He looked at her with grief, certain this time would pass as she was merely just confused. She didn’t actually need him, Raven will surely find Garfield again.

The next day came and when Damian went inside her room Raven was already awake on her bed. Her head turned towards the door and their eyes instantly met.

“You’re already awake.” Damian was surprised as it was still quite early in the morning. In fact, the sun had just risen a few minutes ago. 

When she saw him, her eyes watered and he came running to her side.

“What’s wrong? Are you in pain? Should I–” He turned around ready to call a nurse, but a cold hand over his hand stopped him. His head spun to look at Raven with an ashen expression and Raven wiped away her stray tears with her free hand.

“I just wanted you here.” She confessed in what was barely a whisper. Hearing that made Damian kneel before her as he clenched her hand and brought it to his forehead which was lowered. This had been a habit he had developed over the years he spent waiting for Raven to awaken.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized as a tear slipped away from his eye. “I–”

“You’re not going to leave me, right?” Raven’s voice broke as she asked but she still held onto her resolve to look strong. He looked up at her with green eyes that held terror at the thought. She thought that this was an image she never knew he would show, and yet she was uncertain why she thought so.

“I swear Raven, I will be here throughout your recovery. No matter what.” Damian swore tears pooling in his eyes. She withdrew the hand against his forehead and reached out to his temple, he closed his eyes as she brushed her thumb gently under his eye.

“I will hold you to that.” She replied, pulling her hand away.

“I can’t tell you how you got this way– I can tell you your medical condition– granted not in full, in order not to add stress to you.” He said his tone back to a gentleness she was certain wasn’t his norm. 

Raven placed her hand over his again and nodded in understanding. Even if something was telling her this wasn’t how he normally acted, she still embraced it, maybe only because it was only for her that he was acting like this and no one else. And she kind of hoped that this version of him was indeed only for her, even if it was a selfish thought.

“Okay, so good news is: because of your magical origin you didn’t really lose weight. In fact, because of your magic you were able to survive.” Damian noticed the confused look on her face, and he found himself rather alarmed. 

“What is your latest memory Raven?” His tone on edge, she just looked at him blankly and then eventually frowned.

“I don’t– I don’t recall anything.” She replied and Damian inhaled a sharp breath.

“Yesterday was the same?” Damian tried to confirm even though he did not want to know the answer and she nodded in reply.

“It’s just a blank haze.” Raven mumbled with a frown. 

“Okay, okay– no it is fine, okay?” Damian mumbled although his eyes were shifty. Raven squeezed his hand to try and calm him and reassure him. It was odd how she naturally wanted to comfort him over anything else– over the fact that she has known since she had awaken– that she knew nothing at all.

“I’m in no rush to get my memories– as long as– that is, you are here.” Raven looked at him with calm ease. But his expression did not look pleasant, and a blanket of fear settled over her heart. “I realize– I don’t know how we are related– you must have someone–” The tension in her voice was stifling and Damian immediately cupped both her cheeks forcing her to look at him, making her forget her unreasonable fears.

But were they really unreasonable?

“There is no one else I’d rather be with than with you.” Damian said, leaning his forehead against hers, and she sighed as she closed her eyes, cupping his cheeks in return. She didn’t want to break the silence, and she felt– she was certain he felt the exact same way. Raven couldn’t explain why she knew that but they bask at the silence and their warmth for as long as time would allow.

He told her that she was special and in an almost round-about manner that she was related to a powerful being, whose name and identity shall be omitted to ensure she will not be overwhelmed. And because of this entity, she was born with magic which then aided her rather impossible recovery. If she wasn’t this special, he feared the worst, and Raven knew what that meant.

She could have died.

 ~.~.~.~.~

 Almost two weeks had passed and Raven was utterly frustrated. She wanted to remember something– anything. She wanted so desperately to know him.She couldn’t sleep because of it.

“I know you are having a hard time remembering, so I understand why you are restless in an unfamiliar place, but you need to get some rest.” Damian urged Raven quietly with arms crossed. She looked at him with furrowed brows, she was on her hospital bed that was elevated for her to sit.

“Haven’t I rested enough?” She wondered aloud and he shook his head.

 “You know that is not what I mean.” He replied to her.

 “I just can’t sleep.” Raven confessed in a quiet voice as her eyes dodge around the white walls anxiously.

 Damian took a step closer to her, “Why?” He asked in a gentle manner and her eyes fell on him. The gentleness in his voice is almost associating to his default tone– almost.

 “I’m afraid.” She replied with watery eyes, and her hands started to shake a little. He couldn’t help but press his lips, he did not know what to say. He was supposed to show her how firm he could be but he could see that she had become weary because of exhaustion.

 “Why?” He simply asked as if talking to a child, and she suddenly held onto his wrists.

 “What if, when I wake you’re not here?” She said nervously, her eyes darting to the door momentarily. In fact, she would refuse to eat some meals if she had not seen him for the day.

 “I already don’t know much about you.” Raven looked back at him, her eyes visibly shaking. “What if– what if–” Her stare seemed to unfocus behind him which worried Damian.

 “What if I wake up and I don’t remember what little I know about you?” Her violet eyes suddenly looked at his green eyes which startled him. The fear and the distant gaze made his heart ache and made him equally worry. “I already don’t know anything about you.” Her breathing became ragged and he felt guilty.

 “But what if you remember?” He asked simply in a soft voice as he looked down, he did not want to acknowledge it, but it had to be said.  

 Suddenly Raven held his shoulders and was so close to his face that he was left startled again. Her eyes filled with terror that Damian almost mirrored the same thing.

 “What if I don’t like what I remember?” She asked as she exhaled in an almost wheezing manner. Damian’s heart sank hearing her words. 

 “But– what if you do?” He heard himself barely whisper. He was certain that the first thing she would remember was Garfield and all the happy memories they shared. He had not thought of Garfield in the past weeks, but it made him realize how he had to tell Garfield that Raven was now awake. 

 Damian looked at her with the most indifferent expression he could muster, and cupped her cheek and sighed. But the indifference in his face made her scared. He had told Dick not to tell anyone she was awake for now, as to not have any visitors that could overwhelm Raven, but it is probably time to introduce her to other people. 

 “You know, I think if I introduce you to people you knew before the accident, it can help you.” Damian said slowly, not even looking at her face. Raven’s eyes widened in sheer terror, and her shaking hand reached out to Damian’s jaw to make him look at her. She couldn’t even make him turn his head to her because she had no strength in her body left at his suggestion.

 “Please, don’t make me.” Tears fell down her cheeks as her voice broke. Looking at her like this made Damian feel a different kind of guilt that stayed heavy on his heart. 

 “Okay, okay, okay.” Damian scooped her up into his arms. “I won’t force you.” He comforted her as he rubbed her back. She wept for a few more minutes and then pulled away.

 “But you have to promise me that you will try and get proper rest.” Damian added gently and she pouted. 

 “If you sleep with me.” She replied in a serious tone, but the words shocked Damian to his core, he almost wavered and gave in to her request. Damian knew he shouldn’t.

 He sat there frozen, which made Raven frown. “I can’t do that.” He said standing up, his tone uninviting as he turned his back against her. Raven pressed her lips but did not try to persuade him. She laid back down on her bed, and stared at his back.

 “Fine.” She agreed silently. “I don’t want visitors yet.” She added in a slightly louder tone as she observed Damian nod his head.

 “Let’s just focus on your recovery first then.” Damian turned around to look at her again, but this time with a smile and Raven felt that she had no choice but to pretend to not be hurt at that moment.

~.~.~.~.~

The days passed which then turned to weeks, the doctors and the scientists were surprised with her incredible recovery. 

 In less than two weeks Raven had already found strength in her legs to hold her body. She was still frail, but she could walk a couple steps, albeit with trouble. However, they attributed her speedy recovery from her origins, her magic that she must have been unconsciously using all this time.

Damian had once mentioned to Raven that she could heal herself and be back to normal in a matter of seconds. But her response, which also frightened him, put a stop to any attempts of convincing her to heal herself– Raven simply said she didn’t know how to.

Damian’s heart ached at the implication of Raven not knowing how to do something she was currently unconsciously doing. It could mean she was never using her magic to heal herself, and surviving or waking up was sheer luck. Or perhaps she won in the gene lottery because of her father. If it wasn’t magic that got her this far, perhaps the different composition of her father’s blood in her had helped her somehow. And if that was the case, it would still boil down to sheer luck for Raven to live this long.

The implication was something that he hated. 

Luck was intangible and as untrustworthy as his own mother. If luck was the reason Raven was still here, then he was so close to losing her for all eternity. This was something he could not accept.

“I don’t understand why she can’t recall anything.” Damian asked from outside Raven’s room. Raven was leaning against the wall by her bedroom door. She had initially wanted to go out to meet him, but his worried voice from outside just made her pressed her lips instead. 

Raven felt bad that she couldn’t remember anything, but she also liked the pace she and Damian had. There was a fondness in the fact that their moments together were completely theirs and no one else’s, Raven purely enjoyed this.

“We theorize she doesn’t want to remember.” A voice replied which she recognized as the head scientist.

“Well, aside from obvious trauma.” The doctor added and she pressed her lips again. Raven decided she did not need to hear what they had to say next, as she slowly walked across the room, lost in her thoughts.

“I can’t make these kinds of decisions for her.” Damian had said in a faintly pained voice. 

The door to Raven’s room is eventually opened by Damian as he walks in quietly. Raven was standing by her window as she gazed at the lawn outside. 

“Raven, when did you wake up?” He asked her, the pain in his voice gone and was replaced with a stifling gentleness that she recognized as unfamiliar and yet that was how he had been talking to her since she woke up– gentle, tender, caring and almost so very, very loving.

“It’s odd…” She mumbled, looking out the window and then glanced at the windowsill. “ I am certain you normally don’t talk in such a manner.” She brushed her fingers on the windowsill as she heard footsteps go to her. He stopped a little behind her, and she shifted her gaze out the window again. 

“And yet, I have no memory to supplement–” She raised her hands and gazed at her palms. “This knowledge.” Damian looked down on the ground unsure on how to comfort her or reassure her without having to lie. 

“I just know… you’re not this gentle– but–” She turned to look at him. “I also feel that you are only ever gentle with me.” Raven noted his fluttering eyes which then quickly avoided her, she cupped his cheek making him look at her.

“You still refuse to tell me what we really are to each other.” She said, and she noted how he closed his eyes.

He sighed, “I don’t think you’d want to know.” Was his reply as he slowly opened his eyes to look at her. “We are–”

“I believe you.” She cut him off in a firm but gentle tone. She didn’t want to know, but she wanted to live in this moment. “I believe you’re right when you say that I don’t want to know.”

Raven’s gaze at him was patient and unhurried, she didn’t want to know especially when he said she wouldn’t want to. She smiled at him softly and he stared back at her, hiding the pain he felt. 

Damian concluded that he couldn’t get lost in this moment because when the bubble burst– when she recalls, he knew who she would run to first and it was obviously– it couldn’t be– him. No matter the small hints dropped, Damian had to believe it was unintended because she was merely confused with the missing memories.

He will endure this pain until she chooses Garfield all over again. It was always Garfield– it was never him.

 ~.~.~.~.~

 A few weeks passed by and Raven was finally walking without a problem, she had ventured through the villa and knew every room as if it was her home. Damian had just convinced Raven to take walks outside the villa and she begged him that he had to be there whenever she did go for a walk outside the building. 

They went down the stairs, but being self-aware that she was expected to walk out of the building scared her. She knew she wasn’t ready and she squeezed the hand that held hers firmly. Damian’s green eyes looked at her trying to hide the worry, but she saw through it. 

Raven knew that she had to be strong for him at least, that alone was enough to bring her to the end of the staircase. She knew he asked this of her for her own good. She knew he was worried how she had locked herself inside the villa. She knew these even when there were no words that were said directly to her. 

Raven knew and she did not know why, but she knew all of these.

Damian would ask her if she wanted to know more about her, but she would just shake her head, rejecting his offer. Raven then would tell him that she was content with what little she knew of herself. And she knew and could feel his turmoil as if it was hers, but she would not delve into the matter any further.

She didn’t want to know more about herself. Raven simply wanted to know more about Damian.

Damian guided her to the main entrance, a door she would more often than not pass by as if it did not exist. There were a couple of times she would glance at it and rarely stare for more than two minutes and then proceed to ignore it. She found she had no interest in the outside world, she liked it here, inside this huge mansion with Damian. That was more than she needed. She wanted to be with him– the man holding her hand.

Raven squeezed his hand again as they stopped in front of the door. 

Damian had reached out for the doorknob with his free hand but feeling her squeeze his hand again made him turn to her.

“Do you want to do this?” He asked sympathetically, and she tried to smile to comfort him but her uncertainty had become bigger than her. She squeezed his hand again as she forced herself to nod. 

Damian took a deep breath and opened the door and as it swung open and revealed the green grass, Raven’s legs buckled. An image in her head overlapped with the green grass. And she no longer saw the tranquil lawn outside– instead she saw destruction.

Raven’s breathing became heavy as the image remained in her sight. Cars littered everywhere, smoke and flames, and then there was–

Raven screamed as her palms covered her face. She had fallen on her knees screaming as she wept.

“Raven!” Damian yelled as he dropped to his knees to hold her in his arms. She screamed as she held onto him.

“No, no, no!” She repeated as she held onto his shirt as if she’d ripped it from how strong her grip was. “Damian!” She screamed his name in so much terror his heart dropped to his stomach and he hugged her tightly.

“I’m here, I’m here.” He repeated but her repeating words of no was louder. He called her name but she didn’t respond, just sobbed and called his name in a broken whisper. He forcefully pulled her away from his chest, and she struggled in his arms not wanting to let go. 

“I’m here Raven, I’m here.” He  forced himself to say as he kept her at a distance so she could see his face. She continued to scuffle at him, her eyes unfocused as tears streamed down her face. “Raven!” He called her name as loudly as he could so his voice would not be drowned out by her voice. He sounded like he was about to burst into tears and his chest ached even more seeing her tremble in place at the sudden sound– at his sudden burst.

Raven’s eyes found his, her hands quivering, “Damian.” She hugged him and wept in silence.

“There, there.” He patted her back and they remained that way for a moment, he adjusted his hands so that he could carry her back to her room. “Let’s go back, let’s try again some other day.” He coaxed her quietly. He felt her nod against his collar bone. 

Damian squeezed her one more time and then found his footing in order to stand up. Raven continued to cry as he climbed back up to her bedroom.

When they arrived in her room and he settled her on her bed, she confessed to him how afraid she was that night of the accident. She was afraid she wouldn’t get to experience a life with him by her side. 

Raven initiated their first kiss, and in the confusion he kissed her back with the passion he held onto and had for her for years. Raven kissed back, slipping her tongue inside his mouth and she recognized his inexperience because of it and he confirmed it when he pulled away.

Damian couldn’t help but mention she had dated before, couldn’t help but say Garfield’s name and thus had to see her expression shift right before his own eyes. 

She longed for him– Garfield.

Raven was confused because she didn’t have any memories of Garfield, but her heart beats loudly upon hearing his name. Her expression could not help but mold into longing, and Damian saw all of this. She could vaguely feel his pain behind the turmoil that was brought about when Damian said Garfield’s name.

She still wanted to choose Damian even if her heart and body remembered this man named Garfield, even if she reacted in such an extreme manner. But the turmoil inside of her made her tired, she wanted to rest and yet she still wanted Damian.

Raven asked if they could try walking outside again tomorrow and he quietly obliged. She knew she had to tell him before her feelings got lost in translation– lost in words that were never said. 

Raven had to define what she wanted with him. What she wanted with Damian and no one else.

“I would like to date you, Damian.” Her words were sincere and certain even when she was clearly reacting towards that name– Garfield.

But Damian quickly shot her down by saying, “Your memory isn’t like what it was, Raven. I think it’s too early to say that.” She pressed her lips, she hated how he replied. She hated how he shot her down so quickly. But then, she also hated herself, what could she have done to someone this good to her, to reply that easily? To reply in such a manner?

Garfield, even though the name sparked a reaction to her physically, she didn’t remember her love for him. If someone told her that her heart was beating because of the love she had for Garfield, she’d tell them instantly: that isn’t the case. 

This beating was more akin to fear, she didn’t want to know anything about Garfield because to a degree she was aware it would affect her relationship with Damian. 

Now that was something she did not want at all.

But Raven will be patient, she had to be. 

If Damian wasn’t ready now, she will wait, and she will not have someone who she didn’t remember obstruct her. She knew she chose Damian on her dying breath and that meant something stronger than this person she didn’t remember, named Garfield. 

 ~.~.~.~.~

 Raven had stopped keeping track of the days but a week ago she was finally able to step out of the mansion. Previously they would stand in front of the entrance ranging from a panic stricken melt-down to a staring contest that could last a few minutes to hours and yet she could never step out of the building. 

The first time Raven struggled to go outside helped her remember something though– her accident. She had an inkling why she was afraid of going outside and now she knew her accident took place in an open space. 

Raven found this out the first time she attempted to step out and saw the fast field. Her legs gave in as she so vaguely recalled a scene that overlapped the green grass. It was an unpleasant memory which she had not informed Damian she recalled, even if so very faint. Even when he carried her up to her room and comforted her, she didn’t tell him the details of what she had seen and felt but now it was different.

Raven knew for certain that it involved the man who was always there as she recovered– Damian. 

She tried to calm her mind in order to find peace to try and put the pieces together. And that was how she knew, just a week ago, why she held Damian so tightly every time, why she had to see him, why it had to be him that accompanied her.

Today Damian promised he would go out and join her for a walk. If he wasn’t by her side she would refuse to even attempt stepping out of the safety of the building he provided for her. They stood in front the main entrance of his villa, Raven holding his wrist with both hands in a tight grip. Even though they have gone out over a couple of times, it still wasn’t an easy feat for Raven. 

Damian rested his free hand over her cold hands that were tightly wrapped around his wrist. Even when she was evidently shaking he never forced her out. But there were so many times where she would just faint out of pure fear which then would make him wonder: if Raven knew how painful it is to catch her like that, would she refuse to leave the villa?

Did he even have the right to be hurt when he is someone she didn’t love in that way?

“Damian?” Raven called in a small voice, her eyes worried as she looked up at him. He smiled at her faintly.

“I’m sorry, I was lost in my thoughts.” He admitted, no matter what, he cannot be delusional. It might have seemed like she held her hand out for him twice, but it could be that it wasn’t– no it isn’t the case. She could have been confused and thought he was Garfield. He sighed and closed his eyes tightly.

He recalled what happened weeks ago, where they had shared their first kiss, she said doesn’t remember Garfield but when she does recall her old flame, Damian knew he’d be left with a broken heart. She didn’t know any better, and he tried his hardest to pretend it never happened. He knew Raven could see through him and did not cause any trouble, instead she played along with his unspoken wish. 

Pretend like she didn’t tell him that she was scared to not experience a love with him, pretend she didn’t kiss him and he didn’t kiss back.

“Damian.” She called his name again, her voice sounding like she was at the verge of tears and he looked at her worriedly. “Do you know why I’m scared of going outside?” She thought that even if she just knew a few days ago of the reason why she found it hard to step outside, she had to tell him, even if– when her memories return, it might not be the truth anymore. 

Even when he was clearly pushing her away.

Damian didn’t look at her, he only looked down on the floor. He did not want her to continue. 

And it made her heart ache, it made her wonder why he would act like this. When her memories return, she would know why he is like this, she must have hurt him a lot before. And there was a part of her that hoped she wouldn’t have those memories back, because there was one thing she knew for a long time– she wanted to build a future with him.

She wasn’t sure she could if she really did something awful to him. 

Was she an awful person?

Raven pressed her lips together, but she still had to take a chance, “Whenever I get to hold your hand.” She pulled one of her hands off of his wrist and laced her hand with his. “It feels so perfect, when I get to hold you like this, it makes me feel so safe. Like I would never get lost, and I would never lose you.” She leaned against his shoulder as he remained quiet.

“Please don’t tell me that I will regret this when I have my memories back.” She softly added as a tear slipped her eye which she hid from him. And they remained silent as she found the strength to open the door and step out. 

And for the first time, it was her who guided him out, not the other way around. 

 ~.~.~.~.~

 Then the day she finally met Garfield came, Garfield called her name out and it made her freeze. The beating in her chest wasn’t out of fear, it was love and Raven hated it. She hated how she recognized his voice and when she turned to look at him– she remembered him. She recalled their happy memories. She instantly knew something about him and it scared her.

Raven had been so happy these past months because of the man beside her– Damian. And yet, this person– Garfield, decided to barge into their pleasant conversation. She still didn’t remember much about Damian other than being so terrified when she thought she was dying and couldn’t spend time with him.

But with Garfield it was like her life with him was flashing through her eyes, and she was feeling everything as if it was still happening. 

It was overwhelming her, she knew she loved him. She loved Garfield so much. 

Raven could feel Damian’s turmoil– his pain. She could feel Garfield’s joy at her being awake and his anger at Damian for not telling him. She could even feel the guilt of the man behind Garfield, whom Damian called Greyson. And she can feel the love she had for Garfield for nine long years.

Damian confirmed what he knew– in her eyes Garfield will always surpass him. But this moment also made Damian realize just how much he had allowed himself to sink into this make-believe life they built within the mansion. He wasn’t her boyfriend, and she didn’t have a space for him in her heart. 

The unexpected guest that Greyson brought was a much needed wake-up call.

“Get out.” Raven said firmly and as mean as she could but her words came out gentle and tired. Damian was surprised by this and turned to her instantly, but she turned around and looked out the window. “All of you.” 

Raven was combing the memories that felt more than an assault than anything else. It was her happy memories with Gar, she was sure of it, but she hated it so much. She crossed her arms over her chest refusing to talk to anyone and they left one by one, Damian being the last to leave.

When the hours passed by she felt better with more control over her emotions. Raven sat down by the windowsill thinking of what she could or would do with these new found memories. She knew firmly how she did not want to pursue Garfield even when her memories were playing tricks on her. 

Yes, tricks that is what these memories are– tricks. 

Raven knew who she wanted to be with Damian, it doesn’t matter how her memories of Garfield made her so desperately want to run to said person. She had made her choice, the night of her accident, that she wanted her future to be with Damian.

And yet, why was it that she was convincing herself over and over again of that choice?

When the door opened and she heard footsteps come her way, even when her back was facing the intruder, she knew it was Damian.

“He hasn’t left has he?” She asked even if she did not have confirmation that it was Damian, but the voice that responded was the one who had been with her since she woke up– no since she was in a coma. His voice always followed her.

Damian told her how Garfield refused to leave until he talked to her, but Damian didn’t come here to convince her to talk to Garfield, he came because she had to eat dinner. 

Raven agreed to eat dinner only if Damian joined her and Damian did not complain. He was rather surprised that she would want his company, perhaps this would just be like how they have been living so far, another stolen moment– a temporary happy memory. And yet, he still could not complain, he was still rather glad, even if it was temporary he was still being chosen– for this moment, for this hour, for this day.

Damian brought the food up for the two of them and they sat across from each other in silence. Raven was picking on her food and he remained quiet and patient. 

Raven sighed and then said, “It’s odd, when I saw him, it felt like I just realized the world was a puzzle with missing pieces, and his presence just made all the missing pieces appear on it’s designated places. He was familiar, he was someone I knew— love , maybe even… but something didn’t sit well with me. I didn’t want to approach him and I didn’t want him to approach me.”

There could have been more said after what Raven confessed and yet the pair knew there was nothing that needed to be said or done. They were completely fine with each other’s company. She recognized his pain and his suffering for all these years, and he recognized how upset and angry she was at how Garfield made her react the way she did.

But they said nothing to rely on what they already knew about each other and instead remained in silence which was a comforting embrace for them both.

 ~.~.~.~.~

 Three days passed when Raven finally decided she could meet Garfield. She had to face him sooner or later and she was mostly thankful for his unexpected visit as it became the firestarter for her memories to really come back to her.

It hurt and it was overwhelming, she knew she loved Garfield, but that was a version of her who has always known nothing but loving him. She saw clearly how bad they were together and yet the love she had for Garfield was like looking at the scorching sun directly in the eyes. No matter how bright the sun was, staring at it directly would pain one’s eyes.

It did leave her so utterly confused. But her decision hasn’t changed, it was still Damian whom she wanted to be with.

The day Raven saw Garfield was the last day she had seen Damian. She grew so very anxious, she had lost her appetite to eat or go out of her bedroom. She wondered if her refusal to eat would at least prompt Damian to visit her again. 

Why had he not visited her for days? Had he seen her with Garfield that day– out on his lawn?

She had to explain herself to Damian and then she would find herself standing by her bedroom door thinking of leaving, to look for Damian herself. But her body couldn’t, it refused to go out, she would find herself puking into her toilet instead. 

Her days without Damian passed like that, she couldn’t go out of her bedroom without him. But she wanted so badly to see him and talk to him because the fear in her chest was so heavy it felt like it was crushing her ribs. She didn’t realize until now how dependent on him she had become.

Raven was currently laying on her bed, looking at the ceiling as she tried to control her emotions. She didn’t count the days that she hadn’t seen Damian after the third day because she was afraid that he might never come and being that aware of how many days she hadn’t seen him pained her too much.

She wanted to cry, she was so scared, but she couldn’t even find her voice to express her fear and pain.

Raven got up and faced the door when she felt another wave of panic assault her. She covered her face as she caved in on her emotions. The memory of the night when she was attacked flashing before her eyes.

Was it too late to tell him? Will he never come?

She wanted so badly to be with him, the fear of not being able to– was choking her.

The door suddenly opened and she shot up on her feet, hoping it was him– she catched the familiar black hair and green eyes and that beautiful tan skin of Damian Wayne. Her feet moved fast with a sob as the distance between them only felt like two steps as she gave him a tight embrace. 

Raven was scared, she was terrified that maybe she was manifesting a fake Damian because of her desire to see him. But holding the warm body and familiar aura of the man who had patiently waited for her for years– she knew, it was undoubtedly him.

Damian was confused, but when she felt his strong arms gently returning her hug, Raven held onto him even tighter as she placed her eyes against his shoulder as she wept, refusing to let him go. 

“I thought you wouldn’t come back. I was so scared.” Her pleading voice made his heart ache. 

He didn’t know what to say, “I’m sorry for worrying you.” A soft reply as he tightened his hold on her and held her down so her feet would touch the floor. But she did not let him go and he did not either and so they held each other tightly for a bit longer.

Eventually Raven pulled away as she tried to collect herself. She wiped her tears as she looked at those emerald eyes. She instantly saw the confusion in his eyes and her heart skipped a beat in fear. She reached for his hands, afraid he’d suddenly turn around– deciding to leave her for good.

So she told him all the things that were running through her head. 

“When Gar came and guided me outside, I couldn’t find the strength to step through the door. All I could think about was that I need you. I need you to hold my hand as I step outside. While that night kept flashing through my mind. But he held my hand– and it felt so familiar. And all my fears just vanished.” Raven looked down on her feet, she could remember vividly how that day went. And if Damian had seen them at the lawn, how it must have felt for him to see such a scene.

“And I found myself outside– with him.” She added, sounding distressed, but she hadn’t finished and she found herself holding onto Damian’s hand tightly as if looking for strength to continue on. A broken smile was on her lips as the tears on her eyes slipped and fell onto the floor. She didn’t want to continue, but she had to. 

“I forgot the time I was injured, till the time before he held my hands. It felt like I could breathe again.” Her eyes suddenly met his green gaze and Damian was startled, he had to admit: he hated this conversation. “He will always be someone that matters to me, we will always have history. I have loved him for nine years, we shared so many memories– so many firsts. But I do not want to be with him. I want to be with you. And I know I am asking a lot, but if all these don’t bother you– I would love it, if you would date me.” She said as quickly and calmly as she could. Raven felt like she was just ranting and making a fool of herself now. And it was worse when there was only silence that greeted her.

“I want you. I want to be with you.” She softly added, thinking that maybe it would make a difference. But the silence continued and her confidence shrank even more.

“I don’t mind.” Was his soft reply that she didn’t hear, because Raven was convinced that he did not feel the same way for her. 

She indeed was such a fool.

“If that is an issue for you, then I completely understand.” She mumbled.

“I don’t mind.” He repeated, a bit louder this time.

“I know it’s been two years, and that there must have been someone you became interested in. Or maybe you’ve even dated a bit. I know we don’t talk about it, but I get that–” She tried to rationalize because it made sense. Damian wouldn’t wait for someone who broke his heart over and over again. And yet, it hurt so much, she squeezed her eyes trying not to cry at the truth. 

He didn’t want her.

But Raven’s tone gave her away, she was so close to sobbing. She was so scared of losing him.

“Raven,” Came Damian’s steady voice that echoed into the room, she found her eyes looking straight at him. His strong hand against her cheek, his green eyes steadily gazing at her in a tender manner. “I want to be with you.” She couldn’t find the strength to believe him.

“I’ve always wanted to be with you– I waited for you.” His words finally reached Raven’s soul, she felt his relief and her tears washed away her distrust over his confession. “I almost gave up, I admit that.” He looked away and she cupped his cheeks.

“If I were in your place, even I would waver.” She admitted as she tried to catch his gaze. 

When their eyes were finally locked at one another she added in a gentle tone, “Garfield will always have some meaning to me– his all I have known for nine years, even before sleeping for two years– my history with him is half my life. I was afraid. I thought he was the only one who could possibly love someone like me– I was wrong. I was so, so wrong. I want my next memories and moments– with you. And slowly those memories I had, and my history with him, will just be a fraction of my life. I want you. I want every possible milestone with you, Damian.” She felt that she had to explain herself, had to make him fully aware that being with her would be a challenge, that it wasn’t going to be easy because of her ex. But God– Azar, this was all she wanted since she woke up. 

It was difficult to hold to the desire of wanting to be with Damian when her memories made her feel her love for someone else. It hurt so much and it was draining her, but she had to hold on because she had to see if she had a chance with him– with Damian.

He nodded and she wanted to cry in disbelief and happiness. He really chose her, despite everything and the challenges that had faced and they will face. She knows very well, first hand, how hard it is to hold onto the thought of a future with Damian.

“I never thought this day would happen.” A gentle confession from Damian as he leaned against her, resting his forehead on hers. The contact made her smile softly and they remained like that in silence.

It was Damian who would break the silence, “I was afraid to ask, or open up about this, especially since you were still recuperating– and your memories are fuzzy. But who would have thought you would catch me by surprise and open up the topic yourself?” 

Raven didn’t want to hear him talk anymore because to her ears, it was Damian confirming how closely she evaded not having him in her life. And Raven took another chance– she kissed him and she was surprised when he kissed her back shyly. 

Raven deepened the kiss, wanting to taste more of him. Her worries about losing sight of wanting to be with him are lost at the back of her mind. The kiss seemingly a symbol that anchored her to him. 

She pulled away when she recalled the last time they shared a kiss, his inexperience– the same kind that was now awkwardly against her lips.

“We will take it step by step. I might still remember more about Garfield, and I might get a little confused. But remind me that I chose you since that night.” Raven stood on her tippy toes and rested her forehead against his head. Their eyes locked at one another and she caught the surprise that flashed in his eyes for a moment and then he brushed his thumb against her cheek. 

“I finally caught up to you.” He whispered and Raven couldn’t help the small laughter that she tried to hide from coming out.

Raven felt that it was truly the other way around. It was her who finally caught him.

  ~.~.~.~.~.~

 Damian was asleep with Raven in her king sized bed and he awoke when he noticed the familiar frame that was usually resting on his chest turned to her side, away from him. His green eyes slowly opened, aware of the missing weight and warmth of his girlfriend. His eyes were still half open when he heard the shallow breathing of Raven.

“Raven.” He called out as he turned her to lay on her back, she did not respond but he noticed the sweat forming on her forehead.

“Gar…” She whispered between wheezes. Damian froze hearing her call for Garfield.

“Gar– Please.” He heard her stifle. “Don’t– please.” She turned her head from left to right. “Don’t leave me please.” She begged as tears streamed down her. 

“I love you.” She whispered and then wept, Damian felt like his heart was ripped away from him, but looking at her like that all sweaty and in tears– he couldn’t let his pain get ahead of himself. With shaking hands he wiped her tears with one hand and wiped her sweat with the other.

Raven suddenly jolted awake from the touch. “Gar?” Was the name that she called out first as she sat up and placed her hands on Damian’s chest. Damian’s expression remained as stoic as possible, but he couldn’t hide the slight widening of his green eyes.

“Gar– I thought– I thought–” Raven’s voice sounded desperate and Damian hated it. Her violet eyes were also filled with the same kind of desperation. 

Raven’s shaky eyes stared at Damian’s emerald eyes, but he could see and understand that his girlfriend was not seeing him. He saw how Raven’s gaze of despair slowly turned to pure confusion then fear.

To Raven she had seen Garfield’s green skin, but once she gazed at his eyes, she found that it was not the same shade or shape as Garfield’s eyes. And then suddenly the image of Garfield was replaced by Damian Wayne.

“Damian?” She asked in confusion, almost chokingly. “What are you doing in my bed? In my room?” She glanced around and realized she did not recognize where she was. “Where am I?” Her tone was pure fear and Damian could only press his lips in silence.

Raven stumbled as she got off the bed in her confusion, “Where– where am I?” she mumbled as she gazed at her surroundings again and she tripped backwards. Raven felt extremely hopeless, she placed her hands over her eyes as she wept.

“I don’t- I don’t.” She mumbled as she heard rustling from the bed. Damian got up and slowly approached her and knelt by her side. He was hurt, he was so hurt that she was still looking for Garfield. This wasn’t the first time he would wake up to her hysterics, but it did not make every single one after the first episode any easier. 

This started happening a few weeks after they got together and the intervals became closer as the time progressed.

He reached her hand and she heard her loud gasp as she looked up with wide amethyst eyes that showed both her confusion and fear. She felt guilty at how loud her own breath was.

“Damian?” She asked as she sniffed, there was recognition in her eyes and she hugged him as she wept. “I did it again, didn’t I? Oh my gosh, I am so, so sorry.” She cried and he hugged her tightly.

“It hurts, I admit that much.” He whispered as he put his face against the nook of her shoulder and neck and there was silence from Raven as she held in her sobs by sucking in her lips. “But you are not going to get rid of me that easily. You made me promise, remember? To remind you that you chose me since that night.” 

Raven pulled away to look at him and cupped his face, the tears pooling in her eyes and she nodded as she tried to smile. 

“Yes, that’s right, I chose you. You– Damian Wayne.” She whispered her eyes searching for his pain. His thumb neared Raven’s left eye and she closed both her eyes as he wiped her tears. 

“You choose me, and I will fight whatever fucking monster I have to– to remind you that you chose me– until you don’t want me anymore.” Damian spoke gently as he rested his forehead against hers.

“Me? Not wanting you?” She repeated back, a concept she could not understand and she shook her head. “All I’ve ever wanted in my coma was you.”

Damian felt a warmth in his chest and he found a small hand rubbing against his sternum gently. Her eyes glanced at his chest for a  second.

“May this warmth bloom and grow bigger, I am not letting you go ever.” Raven then suddenly gazed at his eyes. Damian was startled by the firmness in her  eyes.

“Okay.” He couldn’t help but reply. He was more than alright with that. He smiled at her affectionately. 

Damian was always taken aback by her skills as an empath, especially on times like this; when Raven would reaffirm his affection for her by reminding her in small gestures that she can feel his love for her, and he never needed her to say that she loved him back because it was clear in her eyes, in her touch, in her voice– she loves him back wholeheartedly.

It wasn’t something  they questioned when their minds were in this kind of tranquility. 

 ~.~.~.~.~

 They had been officially dating for a couple of months and Damian could clearly see how positively this fact has affected Raven. She was laughing with him so much and she would look at him with such an endearing gaze; which was rather suffocating for Damian, only because he still couldn’t believe it himself– that they are finally together. 

Raven would run around with him through the villa like kids, and they would steal kisses from one another. Whenever he was here, the two would have so much fun. It was unbelievable that the two had been pining for someone for nine years.

When Damian would have to leave, and when his absence would be longer due to missions, he could see the fear and worry in her eyes and face. And it made him want to stay by her side, but he couldn’t do that, he was a hero, this was his job. The guilt and pain Damian felt when he had to leave Raven for long missions was worse now that they are dating.

The feeling of not wanting to leave was so strong that it made it hard for Damian to part from Raven with a tranquil mind. In fact every parting since they started dating had made the feeling even more stuffier; for a moment or two, he had considered leaving the team and Batman entirely.

The couple were in Raven’s bedroom, they were sitting on a new bed that the two had gotten to replace her hospital bed a long time ago. They even spent so much time renovating her entire space. When Damian would step into the room, he could now tell it was hers. She had a space in a house he had asked from his father for her. There was a level of permanency that could not be replaced and could not be described with this fact. He had finally grown and nurtured such an intimate relationship with someone.

However, Damian has to leave for two weeks and he can see it in his girlfriend’s violet eyes that she does not want him to be away from her.

“When you’re gone, now that we are together, your absence feels longer than it actually is.” Raven confessed, she was finally no longer lying on the hospital bed that she had slept on for years, it was oddly comforting. 

Damian was sitting across from her on her bed and he looked at her gently as he brushed her cheek, hoping he could brush off her sad expression.

“I will be careful.” He whispered, the moonlight being their only light within the room. 

“I know, it’s what you always say every time.” Raven answered back, and they stared at each other.

But this time it was different. 

Those were the words that the couple didn’t say aloud but knew was in each other’s minds and it was clear on their faces. 

But this time it was different. It is true, this time, it was different. 

To Damian this would be the first time he would leave her as her boyfriend for two whole weeks. To Raven, when he leaves she could no longer ease her mind by exploring the villa anymore, just so she would not think of the perils he would be in. She wished that she could do more, but she couldn’t remember how to use her magic or more like it wasn’t cooperating– working, even though she really wished it would.

“I need to go now.” Damian said with a heavy heart and they looked at one another. 

When Damian moved, Raven grabbed his shirt and he looked at her with a broken expression. He held her hands, squeezed them and urged her to let go by pulling her hand off of him. 

It was clear to Raven that he did not want to leave, but they both understood that he had to.

“Be safe.” She said, conceding to his wishes but he pressed his lips and Raven’s eyelid twitches.

“I will try my best.” Was his reply, and she closed her eyes, his hands no longer holding hers as he stood up. Raven stood up too and he looked at her one last time. She leaned closer to him and kissed him on his lips.

“Be safe.” She said again and for a second he rested his head against hers and then planted a gentle kiss on her lips and left her room. 

Damian refused to steal another glance; it never made leaving easy. He couldn’t be tempted into staying any longer. He knows his duties and she knows it clearly too.

Raven couldn’t lead him out of the villa, she was scared of seeing his figure out in the open at night. So she stayed in her room quietly, refusing to even take a peek outside the window to seek out his  figure. 

The thought that maybe this time would be the last time she would see him would overtake her thoughts often, tonight  was worse. Now that they are together, she couldn’t exactly not think of him on missions, she couldn’t distract herself by roaming around the mansion he got for her because all she would see was him and her now. 

They had accumulated so many memories within the mansion that it would be too difficult not to think about him at all.

What kind of dangers would he be facing? How close would he be to death’s door? What decision would save his life?

These thoughts often would haunt her mind when Damian left for missions. 

Raven gazed at her palms, wishing and hoping she would remember how to work her magic at that very moment.

She wanted to protect him. But all she remembered were things about Garfield, Damian leading them as a team– some instances with her team members and– that was all. 

When she tries to remember the night of her injury, she only recalled the fear of losing him. She recalle

Lazarus’ Pit: The Demon Lost Her Heart

[Disclaimer: An alternate timeline of Daughter of Trigonand Lasaruz’ Pit: The Demon Lost His Head; Both characters are 25+]

 Raven was a woman who came out of nowhere. A full-grown woman of unknown origins that had power that could not be explained had abruptly entered earth.

The Justice League saw her for what she was—a threat. 

Raven, however, simply affiliated herself as neutral but on occasion helped the Justice League when faced with an extinction level threat. Even though she fought by their side she would make it evidently clear that she was not good nor was she evil. And because she has helped The Justice League a few times; The Justice League became lax in keeping an eye on Raven and labelled her as an antihero instead.

Damian Wayne or as he is now known as– Damian Al Ghul had a different kind of story. He was more bad than he was good and he now leads the League of Assassins. However, there was a time in his teens where he allied himself under the Justice Leagues’ guidance and closely with and directly under Batman and their version of justice. Now Damian fought for a different kind of justice, one which painted him black in the eyes of the Justice League.

But on occasions, when the world faces possible extinction, he would step up and put his differences with the Justice League aside and maybe that was how the two crossed paths. 

The Justice League wasn’t quite certain if that was how Raven and Damian met, but it is a fact that they are rather uneasy with this development.

Raven and Damian became known as lovers and the Justice League was even more worried over this progression when it was revealed. 

They were dangerous. And even more so for Raven, who they recognize as a being who could level the planet, who also regularly threatens them to do so if any harm comes to Damian Al Ghul.

So, when news of Damian Al Ghul’s demise reached the Justice Leagues’ ears, it felt as though the entire earth was holding in its own breath.

“I told them, didn’t I? If anything were to happen to you, I would destroy this planet.” She mumbled to her dead lover, whose head was resting on her lap as she caressed his pale cheek. “So, tell me, why didn’t you take my threat seriously? You loved this planet more than I, so why would you allow yourself to turn out like this?”

And as natural as it is, as the dead could not speak, her lover did not respond to her.

A man running towards Raven screamed ready to swing his sword on the woman on the ground, who thought she was preoccupied with her loss. 

And oh, how wrong he was.

He stopped from his advance as he was engulfed in purple flames. Raven’s eyes that were violet had started to glow.  

The man didn’t even have the time to scream, or maybe she couldn’t hear his wails of pain, it didn’t really matter– not even a body was left of the man in the following second. She exhaled and purple flames circled her and it stretched for a meter in width.

“How noisy.” Her eyes glow brighter, the same shade as her violet eyes. She cradles her lover on her chest with vacant eyes that continue to glow a steady violet. And then everything around her seemed to slow down and turn grey. And Raven’s violet eyes slowly turned red. 

The red in her eyes matched the sky as she grew horns. Her skin slowly turned red. The grey sparrows that were flying and the grey leaves that rustled around them slowed to the point that they were close to being frozen in time.

“Raven!” Someone called out, and the transformation on her skin halted, but the earth still remained close to being frozen. Raven’s skin reverted back to its usual paper white hue, but her horns remained, her violet eyes red and the whites were now black. She turned her head to see Batman still in color and moving perfectly fine, a grim smile on her lips. Wind blows and an unkindness of ravens caw and fly overhead.

Batman covered himself from the sudden strong gust of wind and dust by using his cape as a shield. When the wind stopped and the cawing subsided, he placed his arm down. Raven and Damian were no longer where he had seen them. 

The sky was still red, everything was grey except for batman. His Justice League comms started ringing, there was color on the flashing screen.

Raven and Damian reappeared in front of the Lazarus Pit in Nanda Parbat. She looked down on Damian whose skin was blue.

“We shall reunite my love.” She said, as he was lifted up gently by her magic in a purple hue as he floated in front of her. With a small wiggle of her fingers, Damian hovered above the green liquid and slowly went down to the waters of the pit. 

Raven watched quietly as the green liquid consumed him. And an ache in her chest that she could not fully describe was felt as she stared at his body being swallowed by the Lazarus Pit. 

Damian had told her the properties of the Lazarus Pit.

And she waited. And waited. And waited.

Until instead of kneeling with her legs folded underneath her, she sat on her butt. Her knees were bent in front of her as she waited by the edge of the pool. 

And she waited.

She brought her knees closer to her chin as she continued to wait. She started to become agitated.

Was the Lazarus’ Pit not working? Could it not revive the dead?

Was Damian wrong?

And the black in Raven’s eyes turned white again, her eyes no longer red but purple and her horns resided until they were gone. Perhaps Raven reverting back to her actual appearance emphasized the pain she was feeling. It was so painful that she took the form of the woman he loved. 

If she has to, then she will put the whole human race at stake to bring him back from the dead. Her iris turned solid red with the decision as she clenched her fists.

A tan hand finally came out of the green liquid, followed by screaming and a deranged Damian aiming towards Raven with an outstretched hand. Before his hand could even touch her throat, Raven’s fingers were already outstretched towards her lover’s forehead, a violet glow emitting from her fingertips.

She shushes him gently, and his eyes slowly dims. Damian blinked and gulped down saliva, swaying a little. After a few more blinks his eyes cleared up and he looked at his lover with a gentle gaze.

“Raven…” Damian called her name out, as his face showed his confusion. His hand that was awkwardly outstretched towards Raven, cautiously touched her cheek. Raven placed a hand over his hand that was on her cheek and with her freehand she gripped his wrist. Her eyes closed as she leaned onto the hand on her cheek.

She had almost lost his touch, his body temperature that was certainly not there anymore– but now that is just a thing of the past. 

Damian Al Ghul was now alive and breathing.

“Welcome back, my love.” She softly whispered to him with a loving tone. Her red eyes reverted back to normal when she opened her eyes again. And the earth felt like it could finally breathe. Time went back as it should be, and the grey tone of the world reverted back to its original colors and hues.

“What did you do?” He asked as he too felt the shift of the entire planet, his free hand splashed on the water. He looked down, and realized where he was. He was certain that he was killed but now that he was gazing at the waters of the pit, he knew he really did.

He knew he was killed. He knew his last thoughts were seeing her one last time. He wanted to hold her and tell her he loved her so much.

He knew he had died. And yet, here he was breathing and alive.

“Raven—” His eyes locked onto hers.

“Do not worry about it.” Were her final words as she edged near him and rested her forehead against his. “I have told you this before, there is no price I am unwilling to pay for you.”

He couldn’t respond because he too would do the same if it was her, but– he stared at her and cupped both her cheeks.

He wondered how much pain she felt seeing him like that. He knew that she didn’t care much for this planet and its people, after all she had not grown up here on this planet. In fact, when Damian and Raven met she didn’t care much for anything but she then started to deeply care for him and only him.

“I would have done the same thing.” He whispered as he knew that he would. Damian leaned down to kiss her and she closed her eyes.

If Damian had died she would have destroyed this planet. She would not want this earth to remain to haunt her due to the loss of the man she loved. But she would also do everything in her power to return him to her side.

If Raven had not done this, he would not feel her warmth again. 

She wouldn’t feel his warmth again.

The thought was something she could not accept, even when she was so very close to having that as her reality. 

Raven had seen the devil, lived and grew up in hell with the devil as her father. This earth– him– Damian, was the only thing that linked her to being relatively normal. She knew she was part human, and it was him who made her really feel that part of her. 

She wasn’t going to allow herself to lose him.

“I love you.” She whispered to him, holding his head against hers. Tears falling from her eyes, this was the first time she cried and this was the first time Damian had seen her tears.

“I love you too.” He replied back sincerely.

They shared a tight hug after and Raven’s violet eyes turned red and the whites were black as she gave a sly smile. 

The beauty of this earth was only Damian, if he was not here– turning this place the way her father wants wouldn’t be a problem. 

The Gallery

DamiRae

A woman in a black fitted business dress with her black hair twisted to a low bun stood in front a large painting of a woman. She studied the art crucially as if it held a greater meaning. 

She had entered the art gallery located in Gotham on impulse. She had just happened to pass by the place for the third time this week and she finally decided to go in. She didn’t expect that she would be staring at the piece before her for hours.

A man in a black crisp suit stood beside her and stared at the artwork. “Hello miss, I think you are rather entrapped by this piece.”

“Hmm, I suppose I am. I can’t  seem to understand this piece.” She simply replied not even turning to the man, who then glanced at her, his green eyes showing amusement. He ran his hand through his black hair, the muscles under his suit seemed to be more distinct due to the motion. It was clear that the man was very fit underneath the crisp suit, the skin that peeked out of his sleeves gave an alluring aura.

“But you must have some kind of opinion on it.” He added putting his hand down and looking back at the art on the wall.

“I don’t quite understand it.” She sighed and glanced at the man beside her, her violet eyes widened slightly as she realized that the man beside her was rather attractive. The faint light from the surrounding gave his bronze skin a beautiful glow that she could not help but appreciate– the paleness of her skin made her think that she was a blank piece of paper, rather insignificant compared to the man beside her.

But she also noticed how dim the place has become since she came in. Her violet eyes brushed past his strong shoulders and she noticed that it was dark outside. 

“My how the time seemed to pass.” She whispered as she looked back at the piece, perplexed, this time about how long exactly that she was standing in front of this particular painting.

“Oh you noticed? You’ve been standing on this particular piece for hours.” The man beside her said no malice in his voice. He put his hands behind him still looking ahead. “You must have your own thoughts about this piece?” He added softly unrushed despite her and him being alone in the gallery now.

“It is quite odd.” She began and then shifted her standing position with a leg out and her arms crossed. “It is clearly an image of a woman, it isn’t really that abstract– and yet it brings out a very abstract feeling inside of me.” 

“It’s simply an image of a woman, I find it interesting that you see it so abstractly and feel the same about it.” He remarked as he looked at the painting of a woman who was smiling and behind her was green grass, trees and marble ruins. 

“It really isn’t an abstract art. I just wonder if this woman is the artist’s muse.” She said and shook her head and they both chuckled at the same time. Startled by the unified laughing, she looked his way and to her surprise he was looking at her too.

“Why would you think that?” He asked sincerely. She was captivated by his gentle green eyes and she blinked a few times embarrassed and looked back at the painting.

“It just seemed that the artist–” She glanced at the plaque. “Damian Wayne captured the beauty of the woman in his eyes.” She said thinking that the name was awfully familiar. The man beside her looked at the art in confusion.

“I personally don’t agree with you.” He said his tone revealing his plain confusion to her statement.

“And why is that?” She asked as she looked at him matching his confusion as she stood up properly.

“I think I should know. I’m an artist.” He said and she was startled. “If you’re implying that the artist is in love with this muse, so to speak, you are gravely mistaken.”

“I don’t think one can make this kind of art if,” She glanced again at the plaque. “Damian Wayne, didn’t feel any sort of affection for this woman. Do you think he’d paint anyone in this way if he didn’t love her?”

“I think I would know if he loved her,” He turned to her. “Hello, Damian Wayne.” He held his hand out to her in a polite manner and he smiled at her shocked expression.

“Oh, I’m sorry– I didn’t–” She stuttered and glanced at his hand that started to look awkward. “Rachel Roth.” She introduced herself as she took his hand. “I–” 

“It’s alright,” Damian chuckled, cutting her off. “I like hearing others’ opinions on my work.” Rachel’s face turned pinkish at his words as she let go of his hand and looked back at his work. “But I do admit your statement is something I’ve never heard of.”

“It’s–” She sighed. “I just felt envious of the girl in the painting. Like what would make her look at someone with so much love. You must be a very lucky man then.” Rachel’s tone seemed dreamy but then her dreamy state was broken by Damian’s contagious but sincere laughter that echoed inside the empty gallery.

“I am serious, there is nothing going on with me and this lady in this painting.” He tried to hold in his laughter but she raised a brow at him. “I swear!” He raised his hands up. “I would never paint a lover and put them up in an exhibit.” 

“Oh really? Why is that?” She asked him as she stared at him,

“Maybe I just don’t like sharing.” He shrugged a faint smile on his lips as he looked at the blonde woman in his painting, trying to see what Rachel was seeing with seriousness. 

It was her turn to laugh, “I see.” She shook her head and gazed around her surroundings.

“You’re the only one left here.” Damian said as he looked at her and saw how she just recently noticed how completely empty the space was.

“I didn’t know– you should have said I was bothering you– I mean that you are close.” Her violet eyes glanced back at him and they locked eyes. He smiled at her and she couldn’t help but smile back.

“But you seemed so engrossed in my work, I couldn’t disturb you.” Hearing this she laughed.

“Shouldn’t the building be closed?” She asked as she looked around looking for security.

“I own the building.” He replied and she froze and she shook her head with a small smile on her lips. 

“Now, that explains why I haven’t been kicked out.” She smiled at him.

“Well you have been standing here for hours, and it is quite late, if I may be so bold, would you want to have dinner with me? We can discuss this artwork further.” He offered and she was surprised by the invitation. 

She came here out of impulse, she probably should head home.

“Alright, I’d like that.” She agreed unexpectedly. Well she did enter on a whim, whatever happens after could be considered on a whim too. Like having dinner with a stranger, something she would never do on a normal day. He offered his elbow to her and she hooked her arm over his.

“I think you shouldn’t say never, who knows, maybe one day you will have your lover hung on one of these walls.” She smiled at him as he led her out the building.

He laughed at her statement, “I don’t think that will happen, Miss Roth.” To which she silently smiled.

~.~.~.~.~

Almost five years passed by and there by the same wall but with a different painting, stood the same woman with black hair in a bun, but this time she wore pants and a purple hoodie. She was quietly watching the painting of a woman who was in a white dress and standing around water turning around as if twirling with a picnic hat with a white bow. The only feature that was noticeable on the woman in the painting was her soft smile and her long black hair.

“This seems oddly familiar.” A man with black hair and in a black suit said as he stood beside her.

“Hello, Damian. It’s been a while.” She replied with a faint smile still mesmerized by his artwork. “You made a lovely piece.” 

“Why thank you, Raven.” He replied and looked at his latest work.

“So, I assume this one isn’t your muse?” She asked with a hint of a jesting tone and he turned to look at her seriously. 

“At one point I did tell you I would never paint my muse.” He laughed nonchalantly as he looked at the painting with endearing eyes. “And yet, here I am– showing to the world my muse.” He said as he touched the plaque with his name and the title of his work: My One and Only Muse.

“She must be really lucky.” Rachel replied and he turned to her with a small pout.

“Okay, Raven I played along because you seemed to be in memory lane, but I’m becoming jealous.” He crossed his arms over his chest as he glared at her and she looked at him as she laughed. She raised her left hand to cover her lips and with her fingers tried to hide her amusement. The diamond ring on her finger sparkled as it caught the light around Damian’s new work and she held her laughter.

“I’m sorry,” She stifled her laughter. “But shouldn’t I be the one jealous?” She asked as she took a step forward towards him, a sly smile on her lips.

“No, I don’t like sharing.” He said as he captured her in his arms in an embrace. He rested his head on her shoulder.

“No one can see my face in that painting.” She pointed out as she wrapped her arms around him.

“I’m still a very jealous man.” He whispered as he inhaled her scent. 

“Even though we’re going to get married soon?” She asked as she gently pushed him away to gaze at his face. She extended her hands to cup his face. He smiled at her at the thought that he had proposed to this beautiful woman, and that soon she will be his wife.

“I don’t want anyone else to see you the way I do.” He mumbled lost in her violet eyes and her eyes crinkled as she smiled.

“You’re monopolizing me.” She whispered back as she started to lose herself in his green eyes.

“Won’t you let me spoil you?” He asked, his breathing was uneven as his face inches close to hers.

“If you let me do the same.” She answered back as she stood on her tippy toes to become closer to him.

“If it’s you– only if it’s you.” He replied as he leaned closer and so did she.

“Yes, only if it’s you my love.” She said before their lips met.

~.~.~.~.~.

Bonus Scene

“When did you arrive?” Damian asked as he pulled away from their kiss, his voice gentle and his eyes oozing sincerity and tenderness.

“I just arrived.” She replied, the gallery empty except for the couple.

“And you decided to come here first?” He asked as he found himself cupping her face and gently brushing her cheek with his thumb.

“Yes, I decided to come here, to surprise you. I knew you would be here.” She leaned in on his hand as she overlapped a hand over his. “I was quite surprised to see that though.” She added as she opened her eyes and turned her head towards the painting of her.

“It was my surprise for you.” He gently replied with love in his eyes as he stared at the painting. 

“I can now clearly see how differently you painted her– seeing this.” Raven smiled dreamily. “Those many years ago, I thought she was your muse,” She looked back at her fiancé, “I stand corrected.” 

He chuckled seeing the slight mischief in her eyes. “Oh?” He pulled her closer to him. “I stand corrected too. I swore I would never show anyone my muse, but that is clearly not true anymore.” 

Damian pushed her away gently and seriously stared at Raven, “How was your business trip Miss Roth?”

Raven pulled away from him and laughed. “Well you ruined my surprise, I thought I’d walk here and cover your eyes and say: Guess who? And then we laugh.” She hugged him and rested her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. “But this, this feels much better.” She added as she looked at the painting of her. 

“So, this is how you see me.” She whispered in a dreamlike state and she felt his chest vibrate as his soft laughter entered her ears.

“It’s only you, I see.” He whispered back and she smiled at his words.

The couple was very thankful for their chance meeting in Damian’s gallery. They finally found that special someone they had talked about the first night they met. And soon, they will be waking up beside each other as spouses. 

Bonus: Their First Dinner

“Actually, my mother calls me Raven.” Rachel said as she leaned forward a bit, clearly tipsy from the wine and she laughed.

“Raven?” He said, thinking that it was a very unusual nickname. “And why is that?” He asked as he watched her giggle at herself.

“I’m actually not that sure–” She laughed and he couldn’t help but laugh, finding her laughter contagious.

“At least you have a nickname.” He tried to reassure her and she stopped laughing and stared at him seriously.

“No. Way.” She pointed at him, her vision slightly blurry. “How can you not have a nickname!” She shook her head and he laughed.

“I do, it’s just– it…” He sighed and she stared at him intently.

“It’s not coming from a special someone.” She simply said in a somber state. The both became quiet and then Rachel suddenly gulped down her remaining wine. Damian’s eyes widened as he stood up.

“You shouldn’t drink anymore!” He said as he took the wine bottle away from her reach and she laughed at his reaction.

“I can drink a bit more.” She said in a slurred manner.

“Uh, no you cannot, Rachel.” He said as he shook his head.

“Call me Raven.” She whispered as she rested her head on her hand. He looked at her a bit startled by her suggestion before he could refuse her, she smiled and leaned forward.

“I insist.” She said softly as she rested her hand over his hand that was holding the wine bottle. His eyes widened at the sudden physical contact and he looked at her earnestly.

“Alright.” He heard himself reply in a soft tone and he too was startled by his response, something out of the norm.

She smiled at him with affection and he found himself reciprocating the same thing. Today seemed to be filled with unexpected things, responses that would never be their norm. But both parties were extremely thankful for going out of their comfort zone. 

FIN.

~.~.~.~.~

Author’s Note:

I placed the bonus scenes because initially I wanted this fic only up to them talking again five years later. But then, I created the bonus scenes which break off from the initial way I wanted the fic written, but it does add to more depth to the story. Hope you enjoyed it!

Just a reminder I have these up on my shop here!

DamiRae ✨

A little drawing of one of my favorites ships ❤️ waiting to see some DamiRae in the next justice league movie✨

raven / rachel roth icon pack

like/reblog if saved!

so I drew raven as one of my six fan art thingies and I’m really proud of her eye makeup

You think being a bi alt girl with a gamer bf is just a coincidence? No. Bitch you chose to ship beastboy and raven growing up.

That’s on you.

The quintessential goth girl!

Still toeing the line of just how sexy I can make my art, what do you think? Too far?

robrae cuddle bc I always miss them