I see all these positivity posts about stimming that say it’s okay for you to stim the way you do, and not to listen to anyone who criticizes your stims because all stims are okay.
And that’s great when your only stims are things like rocking or finger rubbing or chewing.
But some people’s stims hurt them, and nobody ever acknowledges it. I wish there was less mindless positivity and mindless pushback against therapy that manages stimming behaviors.
Because people shouldn’t scratch their arms to manage stress! Self harm and isn’t always because you’re depressed or want to die. Sometimes I head bang, bite, or scratch myself because I’m so overwhelmed that my body tries to fix it by using pain to make me focus and to release some of the emotion.
Other times, I pick the skin on my scalp and ears until I bleed! At this moment I have scabs from that. In my teens I had to train myself to keep it under control because I had bald spots that were constantly bleeding. Not healthy my dudes!
I don’t hate positivity…but positivity culture leads to a simplified understanding of what things like stimming are. They aren’t always watching soap cutting. Sometimes they’re bad for you. Thats why they’re a symptom of a disorder.
(Some small, mostly healed scratches under the cut)
I’m a skin picker and before I got it under contral I would have open sores and wounds on my head arms and ears I would go into class clean and not bleeding and come out dripping it blood with it matted in my hair in my ears I used to pick in my ears and scab them. I dont do it anymore but skin picking sucks it ruins your life no one wants to sit next to the girl that picks her skin so much her hair looks like its dipped in red paint
its a bad thing
I’m glad you don’t do it anymore!
I’m working on stopping rn well see
oof same!! I have bad habit of picking on my skin when I need to stim and I have scars on my face because of that, I’ve gotten it somewhat under control but I still find myself scratching my nose or the scabs that I have on my forehead. I’ve tried squishy toys and fidget spinners but I have yet to find a perfect thing that would help me stop this
I put on fake fingernails and I haven’t picked my scalp the whole time I’ve been wearing them, bc they’re too thick and blunt.
It requires learning a whole skill, plus minding that you find the nail and put it back on, or replace it, when they pop off
Plus I feel like a dunce bc I’m tomboy af usually lmao
But it helps and I have the side effect of my real nails not cracking from me being hard on them at work.
I’ve been comparing it to how some people glue caps on their cats claws lol
I used to bang my head against my wall whenever I’d get overwhelmed and it’d be difficult to stop sometimes, one time I banged a little too hard, maybe almost got a concussion?? The only reason I don’t do it much anymore is because I try to stay away from walls when I am overwhelmed and I’ve tried to manage it, I still need to find a healthy way to get that out. And I used to scratch my arms a lot till they were red when I’d get really anxious. Healthy stims are good and shouldn’t be shamed. Unhealthy stims shouldn’t be shamed either but shouldn’t be looked at as good, glossing over the fact that it can be dangerous and saying “all stimming is good” always find what’s healthy and works for you to stim away.
Exactly!
I’ve learned to apply lotions to my scabs and itches.
They smell good and relieve the itch/dry skin.
I’ve learned to put a lot of effort into skincare JUST to teach myself to care about my skin being nice, so I have another reason not to tear it up…
Plus nice lotion scents are their own stim
ive never seen anyone else have the “scratch the skin of my scalp bc when im stressed it feels like its on FIRE” stim before, but i developed it in 3rd grade bc if i got a Big Piece of Dandruff i could examine all the fractal-ish patterns in it
I developed it in high school for the same reason lmao
Mostly. I don’t have the “on fire” thing, I just pick stuff when upset
Tho last time I managed to channel that into picking the sticker off the bottom of my mug, yeee
I pick the skin on my fingers and face. I have gotten a lot better with my face, but I can’t find anything that helps me stop with my fingers.
I think it started when I was around 9; I bit my nails prior to that, and after 8+ years of being yelled at for it and having people examine my nails to see if I had been biting them, I realized they wouldn’t get annoyed with me if my nails were long and nice looking. So now I always have very nice looking natural nails but the skin around them is disgusting! I bleed a lot and there’s always nasty looking places where I’ve literally peeled some layers of skin away. I would reeeaally like to stop if anyone has any tips.
Right now, I try to wear bracelets and force myself to fiddle with those instead, but it’s not the same and I always go back to my fingers. Plus there are some days where I just don’t want anything touching me.
My tips for stopping face picking under the cut, for anyone struggling with that ~
I made myself keep my hands out of my mouth by using hand sanitizer, and that worked. If you pick with your nails, using fake nails (even at a fairly short length) might help you stop like it made me stop picking my scalp.
I don’t love wearing them, but it was a little fun and it DID help me get my picking under control over a few days until my scabs healed and the nails had mostly popped off.
Hope you find something that works :)
I pull my hair put one strand at a time I started in 3rd grade and it got to bad I’d have bald spots in my eyebrows and I even like cut my eyelashes with fingernail clippers don’t even know WHY I still pull my hair out especially when I’m stressed my psychologist thinks it’s ocd and maybe it is idk I’m not a doctor but this medicine I’m taking is supposed to help but I’m still plucking away
Literally every single person in the notes of this post needs to know what BFRBs are. Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors. This is a collection of, basically harmful stims, such as pulling out your hair, picking at your skin, etc. They can be a minor “bad habit” (like biting one’s nails when one is nervous) or they can be severe enough to be classified as a disorder (like picking your skin til it bleeds or plucking bald spots).
Compulsive skin picking disorder is also called dermatillomania or excoriation disorder. Compulsive hair pulling disorder is also called trichotillomania (I had it for most of my childhood and into adulthood).
BFRBs are little known and not super well researched but it is believed they are different from classic self harm. They can be the same motions but self harm stems from different emotional reasons, often emotional pain or numbness, and the goal is often to inflict pain, whereas BFRBs typically are experienced as satisfying or even pleasurable. They are considered a relative of OCD last I read.
Personally I found it impossible to stop cold turkey. For me a combination of cutting my hair very short and replacing the sensation with crochet worked the best.
I have a relatively mild skin picking problem. When my hands aren’t distracted or when I’m anxious, I’m skimming my body looking for bumps to pick. I’ll pick and pick until I’m red and bleeding. I keep my nails short to help but I recently got these fidget/stim tools to put my hands to use when I’m watching tv or reading! They’re soft and squishy and can be plucked. I’d highly recommend them for anyone who struggles with Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors like skin picking or hair pulling. There are soooo many types of toys out there to choose from. So far the ones I got are helping me!
It’s been a min but I’m PRETTY sure I got them from Therapy Shoppe where you can sort by reason you need the tool (like they have a section for tools that may help skin picking)
You can pretty much get fidget tools anywhere these days, even in big box stores. But Therapy Shoppe and other similar sites like Play Therapy Supply&My Sensory Tools have a seemingly endless number of tools to choose from.
