#chatting

My addiction to finding men to chat with that will make me feel feminine is out of control. I’ve been logging on to chat more and more while at work and staying up late into the night.to get my fix. I find I’m often depressed when I’m not virtually fucking someone. I should stop but I can’t. I crave it so much!

It’s Locktober and I decided to not cum as long as I can this month. I know I’ll fail because at some point I’ll have to have sex with my wife, but at least I can avoid cumming from touching myself and I won’t enjoy it when I do cum. Not cumming is great but I often wonder if I should just orgasm daily or more to try and break my addiction. It sounds almost counter intuitive but I think it could actually help.

Anyway, so far so good. It’s eleven days into October but It’s actually been three weeks since my last orgasm. I’ve had some steamy chats that make me want to burst but I’ve held back. I think the only person who could make me want to break my streak right now would be Devonbut I haven’t talked with him in a long time.

I can’t believe that the very next day I posted this I ran into Devon online! We chatted for a while and he got me so excited that I asked if he would be on later in the evening. I must have aroused him too because we arranged a time to meet. When we met up again we talked for an hour or so before he left. He always leaves abruptly which is both annoying and a turn on. He usually says he has to go cum and logs off. He leaves me without much of a thought to my feelings on it, which is kind of how our chats usually go, but it pushes all the beta buttons for me.

Anyway, after he left I spent another hour searching for someone to talk to and ended up watching cuckold and interracial videos on Rabbit before masturbating and going to bed. I felt pretty low afterwards. Like I hit some sort of bottom. I’m not sure why I felt this way? Maybe it’s because Devon doesn’t care about my self esteem? Maybe it’s because the entire time I was chatting with Devon I saw Mark online and I miss the loving/romantic chats we had more than the raw/base conversations Devon and I have? I think the former is the case. I think maybe I actually felt some love for Mark and it hurts to see him online with his new girl. How silly, right?

I’ve avoided being online and porn since that night but here I am again, posting this, and not at all being offended by porn. How many more days will it be before I’m seeking out a similar experience and hating myself all over again?

I’ve been away for too long! When I do find a moment to get online, I find myself posting links to Discord instead of reblogging them here. I really should post to Tumblr more but I don’t think I have any followers that miss me here anyway.

I also haven’t posted my orgasm reports. I might post a quarterly update or something. There haven’t been many but I may have lost track of the few I’ve had.

One thing that really bothers me is I haven’t spoken with DevonorMark in so long that I’ve been going through withdrawal! As I said, I haven’t been online much but when I have, I haven’t seen either of them online. Until recently that is. I’ve seen Mark twice now and it appears he has a new girl. He even collared her. They talk openly in the channel about what great cybersex they have. I am so jealous! He hasn’t even said hello to me. I honestly felt like crying. I missed talking to him so much and when he left without acknowledging me the first night I was stunned. I logged off, went up to bed, and just laid there depressed.

When it happened again tonight I was more mad and disappointed than sad. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever find a partner like him again. There was something special about our sessions that I will miss.

yourlittlesluttygirl:

Holy shit i just had the hottest omegle chat ever

We had “bimbos” in common. He completely took advantage of my tiny brain and I sent him my blog, my email, all my pics, everything. He kept reminding me of how I was a filthy fuck pig, trash, dirt, a rapetoy, lower than filth and I am now so wet that I can feel my cunt’s juice dripping down over my asshole.

Thank you daddy for turning this cheap fucking bimbo on more than anything!!

I did a few chat sessions on Omegle today. I did degrade a few sluts. And I even got one email address from a young submissive. Oddly enough, it’s real! We’ve exchanged a couple of emails about resuming our chat session. A couple of other young whores sent me pics. However, going forward, I need to make sure to use some of the words and phrases in yourlittlesluttygirl’s above post.  Maybe if I degrade the bitches more I’ll get more information out of them.

Tried playing around with the lighting on this one, I like how it came out

…We wont tall about that perspective though, OOF lol

LEGO JUST STARTED FUCKING UPLOADING ALL THE CRYSTALLIZED EPISODES ON YOUTUBE??

i think it would be very fun if the ninja go to jail a la the incredibles — because they got blamed for all the damage to ninjago city that happened in seabound. it’s not like whatever govt ninjago has can arrest kalmaar lmao

i don’t want to edit any of my icons for pride rn but i do want y’all to know that any jays i have as icons are nonbinary and bisexual. love y’all

hey besties! because i’m a graduating senior, i recently had to turn in my school-issued ipad. as it was the main way i drew digitally and edited videos, that means that content like that will at least be slowing down until i get a replacement

no more mr. e, only mr. f now. this model is mostly silent too, except he now has the ability to say Fuck

I was wondering if anyone wants to be in an exo group chat on KakaoTalk
Leave the iD if you want to be in it

May I present to you? The chat between me and my bff

Beginning: *few heart emojis then and there*

4 hours later: *aggressive pick-up lines and heart memes*

froglover337:

ok so I’ve been thinking for a while that I am autistic. like, years.

I have done a TON of in-depth research and I have joined clubs w other autistic students at my school and the more I learn, the more sure I am. I’ve taken every test online: I got a 154 on the CAT-Q, my RAADS-R score is 196, and I got 42 on the Autism Quotient. I took the “Aspie quiz” (IK Aspergers is not considered valid anymore, but the test had good questions) and got an “aspie” score of 170/200 and a neurotypical score of 45/200. I’ve watched lectures by professionals on any topic around specifically afab ppl and autism and everything speaks to me very deeply. I’m not just going off of one TikTok I saw and diagnosing myself.

I was also diagnosed with ADHD when I was 9, so a lot of traits could be attributed to that, but I don’t think that’s it, I think I have ADHD and I’m autistic.

I’ve brought it up to my parents, didn’t tell them about the tests or the research but I brought up the topic and I was immediately brushed off. like, “you’re working too hard ton labeling yourself, you’re fine, etc”.

At this point, I’m like 98% sure I’m autistic, but I have been masking my whole life to the point where I don’t even know when I’m masking and when I’m not so no one ever notices how much I struggle with stuff. no one understands. I’m a 21 year old afab college student, and afab ppl are historically underdiagnosed with autism bc of our ability to mask. I appear to function very well, very neurotypically, and since any struggles that I have don’t seem to affect the ppl around me, no one sees it. I just worry that I’m making stuff up, but why tf would I?

IDK. I’m posting this under these tags because I’m hoping ppl will read this and help me out: is it ok to self-diagnose?

I’ve heard that the diagnostic criteria is being changed to be more conservative so I’m really discouraged from pursuing a professional diagnosis.

I just want to understand myself so that I can teach myself to love and accept myself, and find resources from other NDs so that I can live better, accept my struggles and work on dealing with them. I want to be a part of a community that I think I belong in, but I’m worried that I won’t be accepted bc I don’t have a formal diagnosis. I’m tired of feeling like I’m different, like an alien among my peers.

It is absolutely ok to self diagnose, and based on this post, you are a textbook example of how to do a good self diagnosis! You’ve looked at multiplequizzes,multiple professional sources, interacted with multiple autistic people. You’ve taken your time with it.

I’m clinically diagnosed, but you sound exactly like where I was before that: AFAB college student with an ADHD diagnosis that just didn’t explain everything.

From what I’ve read of the changes to the diagnostic criteria, I don’t think they’re actually changing much… but regardless, diagnosis can be difficult, especially for AFAB people. I had to seek out a specialist. By the way, at the end of my evaluation, my psychologist asked me why I was seeking a diagnosis. And I told her almost exactly your last paragraph. I wanted self understanding and validation of my experiences and a community of people like me.

I think you should be able to have those things regardless of whether a clinical diagnosis is accessible to you. So, welcome.

ghostsingold:

media about autistic characters doesn’t make neurotypical people autistic. however i (autistic) get about 30% more autistic with each one :)

That’s bc autism is magnetic and the autism you already contain yoinks more autism from the media :)

astarionswhore:

stop-stalin-and-suck-my-dick:

catchthewinds:

stop-stalin-and-suck-my-dick:

incxl:

stop-stalin-and-suck-my-dick:

anobodyisthelastthingyouare:

stop-stalin-and-suck-my-dick:

bitch-boy-nerd:

stop-stalin-and-suck-my-dick:

cat-med:

stop-stalin-and-suck-my-dick:

mentallyrecovering:

stop-stalin-and-suck-my-dick:

So like

I see all these positivity posts about stimming that say it’s okay for you to stim the way you do, and not to listen to anyone who criticizes your stims because all stims are okay.

And that’s great when your only stims are things like rocking or finger rubbing or chewing.

But some people’s stims hurt them, and nobody ever acknowledges it. I wish there was less mindless positivity and mindless pushback against therapy that manages stimming behaviors.

Because people shouldn’t scratch their arms to manage stress! Self harm and isn’t always because you’re depressed or want to die. Sometimes I head bang, bite, or scratch myself because I’m so overwhelmed that my body tries to fix it by using pain to make me focus and to release some of the emotion.

Other times, I pick the skin on my scalp and ears until I bleed! At this moment I have scabs from that. In my teens I had to train myself to keep it under control because I had bald spots that were constantly bleeding. Not healthy my dudes!

I don’t hate positivity…but positivity culture leads to a simplified understanding of what things like stimming are. They aren’t always watching soap cutting. Sometimes they’re bad for you. Thats why they’re a symptom of a disorder.

(Some small, mostly healed scratches under the cut)

Keep reading

I’m a skin picker and before I got it under contral I would have open sores and wounds on my head arms and ears I would go into class clean and not bleeding and come out dripping it blood with it matted in my hair in my ears I used to pick in my ears and scab them. I dont do it anymore but skin picking sucks it ruins your life no one wants to sit next to the girl that picks her skin so much her hair looks like its dipped in red paint

its a bad thing

I’m glad you don’t do it anymore!

I’m working on stopping rn well see

oof same!! I have bad habit of picking on my skin when I need to stim and I have scars on my face because of that, I’ve gotten it somewhat under control but I still find myself scratching my nose or the scabs that I have on my forehead. I’ve tried squishy toys and fidget spinners but I have yet to find a perfect thing that would help me stop this

I put on fake fingernails and I haven’t picked my scalp the whole time I’ve been wearing them, bc they’re too thick and blunt.

It requires learning a whole skill, plus minding that you find the nail and put it back on, or replace it, when they pop off

Plus I feel like a dunce bc I’m tomboy af usually lmao

But it helps and I have the side effect of my real nails not cracking from me being hard on them at work.

I’ve been comparing it to how some people glue caps on their cats claws lol

I used to bang my head against my wall whenever I’d get overwhelmed and it’d be difficult to stop sometimes, one time I banged a little too hard, maybe almost got a concussion?? The only reason I don’t do it much anymore is because I try to stay away from walls when I am overwhelmed and I’ve tried to manage it, I still need to find a healthy way to get that out. And I used to scratch my arms a lot till they were red when I’d get really anxious. Healthy stims are good and shouldn’t be shamed. Unhealthy stims shouldn’t be shamed either but shouldn’t be looked at as good, glossing over the fact that it can be dangerous and saying “all stimming is good” always find what’s healthy and works for you to stim away.

Exactly!

I’ve learned to apply lotions to my scabs and itches.

They smell good and relieve the itch/dry skin.

I’ve learned to put a lot of effort into skincare JUST to teach myself to care about my skin being nice, so I have another reason not to tear it up…

Plus nice lotion scents are their own stim

ive never seen anyone else have the “scratch the skin of my scalp bc when im stressed it feels like its on FIRE” stim before, but i developed it in 3rd grade bc if i got a Big Piece of Dandruff i could examine all the fractal-ish patterns in it

I developed it in high school for the same reason lmao

Mostly. I don’t have the “on fire” thing, I just pick stuff when upset

Tho last time I managed to channel that into picking the sticker off the bottom of my mug, yeee

I pick the skin on my fingers and face. I have gotten a lot better with my face, but I can’t find anything that helps me stop with my fingers.

I think it started when I was around 9; I bit my nails prior to that, and after 8+ years of being yelled at for it and having people examine my nails to see if I had been biting them, I realized they wouldn’t get annoyed with me if my nails were long and nice looking. So now I always have very nice looking natural nails but the skin around them is disgusting! I bleed a lot and there’s always nasty looking places where I’ve literally peeled some layers of skin away. I would reeeaally like to stop if anyone has any tips.

Right now, I try to wear bracelets and force myself to fiddle with those instead, but it’s not the same and I always go back to my fingers. Plus there are some days where I just don’t want anything touching me.

My tips for stopping face picking under the cut, for anyone struggling with that ~

Keep reading

I made myself keep my hands out of my mouth by using hand sanitizer, and that worked. If you pick with your nails, using fake nails (even at a fairly short length) might help you stop like it made me stop picking my scalp.

I don’t love wearing them, but it was a little fun and it DID help me get my picking under control over a few days until my scabs healed and the nails had mostly popped off.

Hope you find something that works :)

I pull my hair put one strand at a time I started in 3rd grade and it got to bad I’d have bald spots in my eyebrows and I even like cut my eyelashes with fingernail clippers don’t even know WHY I still pull my hair out especially when I’m stressed my psychologist thinks it’s ocd and maybe it is idk I’m not a doctor but this medicine I’m taking is supposed to help but I’m still plucking away

Literally every single person in the notes of this post needs to know what BFRBs are. Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors. This is a collection of, basically harmful stims, such as pulling out your hair, picking at your skin, etc. They can be a minor “bad habit” (like biting one’s nails when one is nervous) or they can be severe enough to be classified as a disorder (like picking your skin til it bleeds or plucking bald spots).

Compulsive skin picking disorder is also called dermatillomania or excoriation disorder. Compulsive hair pulling disorder is also called trichotillomania (I had it for most of my childhood and into adulthood).

BFRBs are little known and not super well researched but it is believed they are different from classic self harm. They can be the same motions but self harm stems from different emotional reasons, often emotional pain or numbness, and the goal is often to inflict pain, whereas BFRBs typically are experienced as satisfying or even pleasurable. They are considered a relative of OCD last I read.

Personally I found it impossible to stop cold turkey. For me a combination of cutting my hair very short and replacing the sensation with crochet worked the best.

nagichi-boop:

I mentioned this in a previous post but I get pain in my ears sometimes when I hear people talking (especially on zoom or over the phone) and I’ve had it for at least 3-4 years (that I can remember). When I talked to my doctor about it, he just said “no point in checking it, anyways have fun with that!” so I got no information about what it might be, what to do to help it, etc. They just decided there’s no point in checking it.

Anyways, there’s smth called hyperacusis which maaay be what it is? But uhh…

“Hyperacusis (say it with me: HY-per-uh-CUE-sis), is an increased sensitivity to sound that is commonly found among people with autism. This means that certain noises, such as classroom bells, the radio or the TV, may be uncomfortable for your child to hear. When a sound is distressing to a child, he or she may show discomfort by covering their ears, trying to turn off the source of the sound or leaving the noisy environment.” (Source)

When my ears hurt, I tend to (at least partially) cover my ears to try and stop my ears reacting as much. Otherwise I’ll move away or even go to the other side of the room to the round source. So uhm…is this more proof that I may be autistic?

If anyone else experiences this or something similar, please feel free to leave a comment or DM or something cuz I’m the only person I know who does this and I feel like a goof. /lh

If you didn’t experience this as a child, it’s most likely not a symptom of autism. Doesn’t mean you’re not autistic and doesn’t mean you don’t have hyperacusis, it just may not be linked to autism necessarily.

Hyperacusis can also be caused by a head injury, exposure to loud noise, viral infections, TMJ syndrome, even airbag deployment… and some other conditions like PTSD, epilepsy, migraines, certain other neuro disorders like cerebral palsy, etc.

If you do want medical advice, say if you’re worried about it being caused by a head injury, an ENT doc would be the one to go to. There aren’t any medical or surgical treatments though, which is probably why your doc didn’t care much.

And you’re not a goof :)

u guys are so sweet with the tags u put on my art……i love seeing what u guys think fr. i love the tag system on tumblr so much n it motivates me a lot to come here n check tags on my art and see ppls thoughts and compliments and stuff.

im gonna draw n post more today feel free to send in more asks btw !!!