mountain lions run towards you, bobcats run away from you.
bring lots of water. all the water you can carry. it will be taken, so bring extra.
the snakes will ask you to join them in the shade. do NOT follow them.
sandstone is the most reliable building material, but you will have to pay. just stick to packed dirt and gravel.
agave plants collect water and you can chew most of them to get it, but don’t swallow. also, the plant that was there yesterday is not the same as the one there today.
bones are to be expected, but try not to disturb them.
same with raw minerals and gemstones. they aren’t there for you.
the vultures circle for fun. it’s when the ravens show up that you’re gonna die.
cloudy nights are brighter than the full moon.
coyotes will eat what you give them but will not respond to any name. they know your name, though.
contrary to popular belief, there are trees here. joshua trees are friendly, but they don’t know much. bristlecone pines know everything.
it may be tempting to carve your initials somewhere. don’t do it. that’s a contract.
lizards are good if you don’t mind a lot of salt.
Burros may come up to you carrying saddle bags full of supplies. they’ve been here since the spanish settlers, so the supplies are long expired.
the gila monsters are venomous, but they don’t like the taste of humans.
play the music as loud as you want. no one else can hear you
you might find a neat but dusty living room in the dry lakebeds. those are normal and you can rest there for the night, but don’t overstay your welcome.
have fun! keep your boots tight, keep your gun close, and die with your mask on if you’ve got to.
a white sign with JESUS printed on it in blue letters, but nothing on the back (Arizona)
white building with aggressive red neon lighting but nothing on the sign (new mexico)
abandoned gas pumps (new mexico)
mysterious, overwhelming death stench (new mexico)
the largest cross in the western hemisphere (texas)
four white signs: “FREEDOM” “CHRIST” “SET US” “FREE” (oklahoma)
decomposing cat skeleton at a gas station, of which @deep-disparity harvested the jaws, 2 teeth, and some vertebrae (oklahoma)
a well-lit billboard with the 10 Commandments, no context (oklahoma)
a billboard with an evolution diagram (monkey to man silhouettes) crossed out next to a picture of earth with “in the beginning, GOD CREATED” on it (tennessee)
random aquarium that looked like it was in the middle of the woods but realistically probably isn’t (tennessee)
large cross built from scaffolding with a color changing light pointed on it for illumination that happened to be an ominous red as we approached and stayed an ominous red until like .2 seconds before we were completely past it (virginia)
HUGE banner for the Arizona Diamondbacks … in Tennessee
a frame for a billboard with no boards, leaning way the fuck over and partially out of the ground (arkansas)
a billboard with the side panels gone so it was just a middle panel and the only readable word was DIE (texas)
r o a d k i l l (everywhere)
yellow port-a-potty miles away from all civilization stationed in the middle of the desert (arizona)
red banner proclaiming REPUBLICAN PARTY in a shopping plaza with no context (arizona)
