Ben Solo writes….

Sometimes…

Sometimes i feel sad for what i have done,

Sometimes i question myself and ask what have i become.

Sometimes i wonder how my mom is feeling,

Sometimes i hope my scars start healing.

Sometimes i want to go back to my mom and dad,

Tell them i love them and ask them if they accept me for what i now am.

Sometimes i think how chewie is doing,

How much he misses the times we spent together,

And how much pain he is going through after losing he co-pilot forever…

I realize how sad everyone is because of me,

I hope everyone can forgive me for my deeds…

Ben Solo’s diary on the day he killed Han

I saw my mom and dad after so long on Takodana. They were in alot of pain. I could feel it.

I wish i could shout out “MOM DAD I LOVE YOU I AM SORRY HELP ME PLEASE..”.

Chewie was also there he is getting old. I remember how much he helped me maintain my hairstyle and the stories he told me when i wasn’t able to sleep.

I met a girl. Her name was Rey. I saw a little bit of myself in her. Lost, looking for love and happiness. She defeated me the scar she gave me isn’t half as painful as killing dad.

I feel like i am suffering. I told my dad his son was dead. But actually he is miserable. I feel so guilty. I wanted to prove my dad i was good enough but instead i proved otherwise.

Save me please…

(tear drops on the page)

Reblog if you want Ben to smile in the next sw….

Also tell me how bad this is

Joker meets Ben Solo…(part II)

Joker: why does your light saber has three blades

(joker didn’t know what to call them)

Ben: So that none of them feels like lonely like me…

Joker: Oh…

(Awkward silence)