#forever bitter
every night, i think back
to what we had and where it went wrong
all my friends said, “he’ll hurt you”
guess i really should’ve known it all along
i wonder if i’ll see you someday,
flashback to when we first met in your lonely little town
i’ll smile tightly and say “you look good”
and i’ll get deja vu when you say, “you too”
god, i really should’ve known right from the start,
that someday you’d shatter my heart
and the only thing that break really did was break us apart
and the girl you love now, was she worth it?
are you happy with the life you chose?
maybe you hate me now, maybe you blame me for what happened,
but darling,
our shadows, they know what they know
-can you blame me for running? c.r.
im not going to talk too much about the current route that Marvel Comics have decided to go down with Cap, bc I’m not a reader of the comics and in my head MCU Steve and Comics Steve exist independently of each other. All I have to say though, is that Steve Rogers, Captain America, was created by two Jewish men in the midst of war where their people were being murdered for their faith. Steve Rogers was a symbolic “fuck you” to that cause. To have the current writers start an arc in which Steve is and has been a member of HYDRA all along, an organisation meant to represent the Nazi party responsible for the deaths of those people, is not only disgusting, it’s also disrespectful to the legacy of Jack Kirby and Joe Simon.
“It’s fine, Katara,” Zuko’s words were a soft utterance against the turmoil still echoing deep in her chest.
“I just wish I could do more,” she cut him off, “Perhaps I could ask Pakku to make a quick stop to the Northern Water Tribe to get a vial of Spirit Water before he meets us here – that way at least…” Katara’s words rushed words suddenly tapered off as she lost herself to her inward musings.
Zuko wanted so badly to quell the way her eyebrows furrowed; button nose and blue eyes red from crying she’d been doing way too much of lately. The Agni Kai was over a week ago and Katara couldn’t stop beating herself up over what happened.
Zuko had died – if only for a moment in her arms. His chest now covered with yet another permanent reminder of an agony he never should have endured…
If only she listenedto him - stayed back like he urgently requested than none of this would have happened! Because of her stubbornness, she went against those orders and if she hadn’t, Azula neverwould have shot at her with a stone pillar in her way. If she hadn’t been so stubborn– Zuko would have redirected it how he wanted – he never would have had to jump in front of her. That blue lightening bolt sent straight into his chest and –
“Katara!” Zuko’s voice increased in volume when she had yet to answer him.
“What?” she asked quickly, eyes finally leaving the star patterned scar on his chest her fingers gently hovered over. Yet another healing session that slowly lessened the ache but now the pink indentations he would surely retain for the rest of his life regardless of how talented a healer she believed she was.
Zuko took that moment to just look at her. Scared, widened, impossibly blue eyes glittering with unshed tears; her cheeks and nose red from her emotional state and Zuko was sick of seeing this Waterbending Master completely broken…over him no less.
“…I’msosorry, Zuko.” she apologized for the dozenth time that day and while Zuko immediately tried to dissuade this tired conversation, she trudged forward. “You didn’t need another scar…especially not because of me.”
Before Zuko could argue as per usual when this came up, Katara’s expression changed and Zuko didn’t even flinch as she suddenly reached forward with her unoccupied hand to touch the scar on his face, the other resting on the newly acquired one on his chest. There was a reputable ocean of emotion in her gaze as she searched his unmatched golden eyes.
An unspoken conversation they’d been having this past week with only their eyes - the ease in which they could communicate without words. The brush of fingers and gazes said so much more – and for that Zuko was grateful for he’d failed so many times in the vocal department. But right now… just the silence and the gentle stroke of her thumb where his eyebrow once was and how the index of her other skirted mindlessly over his chest.
While neither wanted to verbally confirm what had happened during the Agni Kai; desperate claims and confessions that were still so fresh in their minds would have to wait for now – but Zuko knew he should say something.
“Katara…” her name was as soft as a prayer on his lips; ones Katara glanced at before meeting his eyes again. “Don’t say that – I’m proudof my new scar…and I would do it again without hesitation, you know that, right?” Zuko suddenly smiled unabashedly at her and he watched as one of the tears that had been building fell unheeded down her face and dripped off her chin. He held back his desire to brush it away.
Instead of the usual reaction to that claim, Katara smiled tenderly at him. “I know….” she sighed resolutely.
While there was still so much left unsaid and feelings that needed desperate sorting out, Katara leaned forward; pressing her forehead on his. Zuko’s smile widened; their eyes communicating so much more than he could ever put into words.
And for now, that would have to be enough.
…..
I have come to accept that I will never be over these two. Nothing like I used to be but if I do a piece of art once in awhile to stave off my bitter contempt, I suppose there could be worse coping strategies. XD
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