This is going to be a long post, but a long-awaited one as well, so please bear with me to read it (especially if you are following me).
I sincerely want to apologize for being gone for so long, and it’s been bugging me that I haven’t said why.
So, as many of you know or remember, I posted VERY frequently back from about January - February/March of 2021. I have gained in that time 1000 wonderful followers, and I love you all so so so so so very, very much.
But, sadly, in early February of this year, I suddenly vanished. I am here to explain why that is, in as much detail as I WANT to give (don’t worry, I don’t feel a need to be overly apologetic. None of what I’m sharing makes ME uncomfortable to share).
That being said, though, if talk of things such as hospital visits, mental health, or anxiety surrounding gender/sexuality bother you, then please proceed with caution through this post. Nothing will be graphic, and I’m okay, I just don’t want to catch anyone offguard since I know these can be triggering subjects.
Anyways, so around February 8th (or the night after the Super Bowl), I got quite sick to the point where I could not sleep through the night. None of my symptoms were COVID symptoms, and I was doing completely virtual school, but my life was still disrupted by 3 consecutively sleepless nights. Eventually, I went to the emergency room, since I have a history of GERD as well as other gastro-intestinal issues, and I was worried something was seriously wrong. Turns out, I was having anxiety-induced symptoms, which made sense because I have a history of serious (albeit undiagnosed) anxiety, and at the time was having a prolonged panic attack because of everything going on; college decisions, my parents being down my throat, my parents making ME schedule and arrange all of my doctor’s appointments for this very sick-period, and other life things.
In the end, I got officially diagnosed with chronic anxiety, but not medicated. I got short-term stuff to help with my symptoms, and the best relief was that I was physically fine (no cancer or ulcers, as I and some of the doctors had feared).
But then, whoop-dee-doo, right after I got un-sick (kindof), my anxiety got racketed up again.
I don’t want to get TOO into this part of the story, since it is an ongoing process and I am (unfortunately) still closeted to my IRLs for the most part. But I came out as non-binary around mid-March, and now use they/them pronouns. (My name is Frankie, by the way. I am just now realizing that I never even put pronouns or a name in my bio LOL). But that was a very long-suffering journey that I finally stopped gatekeeping myself from; but since coming out, the stress has not eased very much.
The sick part of my time has faded, but by the time it did, it was exam season and I was unable to rack up any lost hours here on Tumblr or on Hades. And when THAT ended, I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL and went on a 2 week road trip with my mom (after being fully vaccinated for a month!).
Now, I am back - to unfortunately, another remarkably anxiety-inducing situation, but one I am able to manage more thoroughly since I am not juggling school, too. I am working a very minimal job and simply packing (stressful) and looking forward (positive) to college.
That being said though, upon my return I have realize that the Hades fandom has been… quiet. I want to return to this account, I want to bring you all more content, but… is anyone out there?
You all, my followers and anyone seeing this post mean so much to me. You brought me more joy than you could know in a really, really difficult time for me and I’m really sad that I had to ghost for so long. I want to come back but I fear coming back to an empty room. I miss you guys and I don’t want something I put so much effort and thought into to die out. I miss it here.
So, chime off if you’re still here. If you’re new, chime off so I can follow you. I want to hang out with y’all again. Just let me know you’re out there.
I love you all so very very much, and I want to rebuild the community we once had here.
[Hey guys!!! It’s been awhile since I’ve been active!! But school is coming to a close and my health is back in check so let’s chat again!! Send me asks! What’s been going on babes?]
