#haikyuu incorrect quotes
nishinoya: diet day 1 - i have removed all the bad food from the house. it was delicious
yamamoto: *throws open door*
yamamoto: you two are doing IT
kuroo and kenma: *innocently lying around while reading and playing games*
kenma: *looks up* we are? kuroo why didn’t you tell me, i would have put my nintendo switch down
akaashi: hello, people who do not live here
kenma:hi
kuroo:oya
bokuto:AGHAASHI
akaashi: i gave you the key for emergencies
kuroo: we were out of food
akaashi: so you decided to eat mine?
kuroo:oh yeah, and you’re also out of food now, *turns to look at kenma and bokuto* who’re we robbing next?
atsumu: what if people had food names and food had people names?
suna, to atsumu:hey spaghetti, time for dinner
atsumu (spaghetti): what are we having?
suna: kita
kita: why am i even friends with you guys?
atsumu: shut up potato
osamu: bro, what the hell are you doing?
suna: making chocolate pudding
osamu: it’s 4 in the morning, why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?
suna: i’ve lost control of my life
tanaka: everyone has asked me if i’m a glass half full or a glass half empty person
tanaka: and i have come to this conclusion!
tanaka: *abruptly smashes glass on the ground while cackling*
kageyama: i sort of did something stupid and i need your advice, but i don’t want any judgment or criticism
tsukishima: and you came to me?
kageyama to hinata: coach ukai taught me to think before i act
kageyama: so if i smack the shit out of you, rest assured i thought about it and am confident in my decision
*sugawara and daichi with kids in a museum*
sugamama: lol, look at those idiots over there
sugamama: …hold on
sugamama: oh my god, those are our idiots. tanaka, put that damn gun down. nishinoya, i’ll give you 2 seconds to come back to the ground. hinata, you better stop carrying that bear mount around and come back here or so god help me
osamu: shake it
atsumu:*shimmies*
osamu: the container, tsumu
hinata: *slowly sipping his hot cocoa*
kageyama: *is solving crosswords* annoying, but still manages to be somewhat adorable and is always incredibly beautiful
kageyama: *says hinata’s name
kageyama:it fits
hinata: *chokes on his drink while blushing furiously*
lev: wow your legs look great in those jeans!
yaku: i know right, you should see me without them
lev:
lev: yaku-san, why would you take off your legs?
kenma: so what else do we need?
kuroo, pushing the grocery cart: i don’t know, i’ve got everything i need already
kenma:
kenma, sitting in the cart and starting to blush: ˢ⁻ˢᶦˡˡʸ ʷᵉ ᵃˡˢᵒ ⁿᵉᵉᵈ ᶠᵒᵒᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ˢᵗᵘᶠᶠ
tendou: welcome to my very first vlog in which I try different hair products!
tendou: [sprays hairspray into his mouth]
tendou: well, right off the bat, I can tell you that this one is not very good
akaashi: bokuto-san what’s your mbti?
bokuto: he/they are you free on thursday
hinata: just look at things from my pov here
tsukki: [crouches]
hinata: oh frig you
daichi: i just need to hear four words
suga: i love you daichi
daichi: no, try again
suga: i won’t kill anyone
daichi: we need a distraction, is anyone good at jumping up and down and making weird sounds?
noya: my time has come
tanaka: hey bro
nishinoya: yeah bro?
tanaka: can you hand me that leaflet?
nishinoya: brochure
tanaka: [wheeze]
nishinoya: [wheeze]
Osamu: shut up!!
Atsumu: b-but I didn’t say anything
Osamu: you were thinking. That’s annoying.
Akaashi: Bokuto-san, look me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth
Bokuto: no man can look at you and be straight
Yaku: What are you, 5?
Lev [smirks]: yeah, 5 heads taller than you
Yaku:
Lev:
Lev: I’m sorry, please don’t kill me
akaashi: wanna know something?
bokuto: yeah sure
akaashi: i found out that i liked you when i got to know the things you do, the things you like, and random fun stories
akaashi: but i found out i loved you when you bit your finger trying to eat 6 fries at once
iwaizumi: sorry i called you a fucking idiot, i was trying to flirt
oikawa:
bokuto: i wish i was someone’s number one 1…
kuroo: [sighs] forget about hydrogen, you’re my number 1
bokuto:bro…
kuroo: i could tell you a sodium joke
yaku:
kuroo: but Na
yaku:
yaku: that’s why you don’t have friends
bokuto: all i want for christmaaaaas is-
kuroo: [fixing bokuto’s door] is A LITTLE BIT OF PEACE AND TRANQUILITY
kuroo: are you made of boron, iodine, technetium and hydrogen?
yaku:
yaku:wha-
kuroo: cuz you are a B I Tc H
kuroo: bokuto is lost! can you find him?
akaashi: so? do you think i put a tracker on him or something?
kuroo: …you did, right?
akaashi:
akaashi: yes, let’s go find him
kuroo: i want us to grow old together…
kenma: are you assuming that i want to stay alive?
oikawa: truth or dare?
iwaizumi: [sighs] truth
oikawa: do you want to kiss me?
iwaizumi:dare
oikawa: [leans in] i dare you to kiss me
iwaizumi: never have i ever…
oikawa:WE AIN’T PLAYING THAT
kuroo: can you please not pet every single cat you see in the streets?
kenma:
kenma:no
bokuto: people would love to be as strong as me! i’m the personification of strength!
kuroo: you cried 3 hours when bambi’s mother died
kuroo: [kisses bokuto’s forehead]
bokuto: you missed
kuroo:wha-
bokuto: [grabs kuroo’s face and tries to kiss him]
kuroo:[panics]
kenma: [stumbles over his foot after serving, his head hits the ground and starts to bleed]
kuroo: we need to call an ambulance. kenma what’s your blood type?
kenma: b positive
kuroo:
kuroo: [panicking] IM TRYING
hinata:
kageyama: [in his mind] i value my breath so it would be great if you didn’t take it away every time you pass
bokuto: [talking about kuroo] this is my rival and it’s one of the best friends i’ve ever had, i’d die for him
oikawa: [talking about iwaizumi] this is my teammate, he is a bastard who has no respect for anyone and hits me for no reason, apart from the fact that he spends all the time insulting me, anyways, i would die for him
akaashi: would you..
akaashi: …like to marry me?
bokuto:
bokuto: i don’t even know how to cook rice…
akaashi: [high-fiving yamato] you’re pretty amazing
yamato: thanks akaashi
bokuto:
bokuto: did you just call him pretty?
akaashi: i said pretty amazing
bokuto:
bokuto:[leaves]
