blushbi:

blushbi:

blushbi:

the biggest lie in haikyuu is that tsukkis sports goggles look cool . there is not one pair of sports goggles on planet earth that could be described as cool

akiteru is just a serial liar like first he tells his little brother that hes the ace when hes actually a benchwarmer which ends up traumatizing him and then years later he gets him sports goggles but tells him they look cool ??? bitch no they do not

tsukki: [being a little bitch]

suga to hinata n kageyama: you let a kid with sports goggles speak to you like that??

Ukai: what kind of sycophant are you?

Takeda: what kind of sycophant would you like me to be?

Oikawa:I don’t like Ushijima’s pants…

Daichi:I get it, the cow on it is a little absu-

Oikawa: But I might like what’s underneath them~*wink*

Daichi:…

Bokuto:…

Kuroo:…

Ushijima:…

Ushijima: My legs?

Oikawa:.nO

Bokuto: I don’t get it,,..,, his skin?!?!

Kuroo, wheezing: I’m gonna tell him

Daichi silently walks out of the door

Oikawa:not all dogs are ‘good boys’

Kyoutani:*slowly grabbing a pitchfork*

Oikawa, sweatingly: … Bc some are 'good girls’

Kyoutani: *slowly puts back the pitchfork*

MSBY

Hinata:I heard that 1 in every 4 people are gay

Bokuto:oh so that we means 1 of us is gay

Atsumu:I hope it’s Omi-kun

Sakusa:Atsumu we have been dating for 2 years now

Sakusa:It’s 4 out of 4 people for us, you idiot

Tanaka: why can’t dinosaurs clap?

Tsukishima: because their hands are too sma-

Nishinoya: bc they are all dead

Tsukishima: biTCH

Oikawa: why’d I fuck a demon? Simple, for status. Imagine you and your friend arriving at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death for eternity and you just jump into the arms of your sugar demon, legendary.

Oikawa:Not to mention the privileges *winks*

Iwaizumi: ffs it’s 4am

MatsuHana: no, no continue you’ve a point

Karasuno catches KageHina cuddling

Tsukki: You know, you said Kageyama wasn’t your boyfriend

Hinata: He’s not my boyfriend!

Kageyama: I’m not his boyfriend!

Kageyama: He just doesn’t get it.

Hinata: No. Why would he ? Let’s go, baby.

Kuroo: Hey, I’ve a science headcanon

Kenma: Can you just say you’ve a hypothesis like a normal person

Kuroo:

Kenma:

Kuroo: So my science headcanon is…

Hirugami: you’re violent.

Hoshiumi: yeah, but I’m short so it’s adorable.

Bokuto: Is masturbating while smoking weed called masterblazing?

Kuroo: Bro, no, it’s called highjacking

Oikawa: Guys no, it’s weedwhacking

Daichi [with seriousness]: No, it’s called disappointing your mother.

Osamu: shut up!!

Atsumu: b-but I didn’t say anything

Osamu: you were thinking. That’s annoying.

Akaashi: Bokuto-san, look me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth

Bokuto: no man can look at you and be straight

Yaku: What are you, 5?

Lev [smirks]: yeah, 5 heads taller than you

Yaku:

Lev:

Lev: I’m sorry, please don’t kill me

akaashi: wanna know something?

bokuto: yeah sure

akaashi: i found out that i liked you when i got to know the things you do, the things you like, and random fun stories

akaashi: but i found out i loved you when you bit your finger trying to eat 6 fries at once

iwaizumi: sorry i called you a fucking idiot, i was trying to flirt

oikawa:

bokuto: i wish i was someone’s number one 1…

kuroo: [sighs] forget about hydrogen, you’re my number 1

bokuto:bro…

kuroo: i could tell you a sodium joke

yaku:

kuroo: but Na

yaku:

yaku: that’s why you don’t have friends

bokuto: all i want for christmaaaaas is-

kuroo: [fixing bokuto’s door] is A LITTLE BIT OF PEACE AND TRANQUILITY

kuroo: are you made of boron, iodine, technetium and hydrogen?

yaku:

yaku:wha-

kuroo: cuz you are a B I Tc H