it was unexpected when you had found out you were pregnant. even more unexpected when your boyfriend kenma agreed to help raise the baby. despite living apart at the moment, the two of you had a baby girl, just shy of seven months now. it wasn’t that you two were broken up or you didn’t want to live together, it was just difficult finding a house that could fit you three and afford with both incomes. at the moment, your daughter stayed between houses every few weeks, mainly at yours but this weekend she was with kenma.
you clicked away through your files on your laptop as you glanced at the house site tab every so often. letting out a sigh, as you go to call your boyfriend, he was already calling you on discord on his pc.
“hi bubs,” you smile at your boyfriend on the computer screen. “and hi pumpkin.” greeting your daughter, who was gnawing on kenma’s hoodie strings as she lay flush against his shoulder. her hands barely wave as she sniffles and chews. her hair is messily done pigtails, one drooping more than the other.
“love,” he sighs, playing with her fingers as he bounces her on his leg. “can you come get her?”
“why? what’s wrong?” you tilt your head. “was she crying?”
“i- yeah but i- she wouldn’t stop crying today,” kenma pinches the bridge of his nose. your daughter looks up at him, gripping his hoodie to get his attention. “and she pooped all over the bed so i don’t know what to do or why she doesn’t feel good.”
“she’s probably teething, that’s why she’s biting your clothes,” you gesture. she turns slightly to the screen, whispering small noises as she looks at you. “she chews on my hand when she goes to bed because her pacifier isn’t enough for her.”
“oh,” he looks at your daughter in defeat. you watch as he carefully pulls up her lips to expose four teeth creeping up in the front. she winces as he counts the teeth with the pads of his fingers. “she has four now.”
“four!? she’s growing up too fast. she had three last week,” you pout. “if she’s still hurting, rub her gums and if it’s too much for her, you can give her the tylenol in her bag.”
“well, me and stinkie are gonna go take a bath,” he says lifting her up, making her giggle at the motion. she reaches for his face, grinning down at her dad. “say bye to mama.”
she opens and closes her hand towards the screen, babbling softly. “bye bubby, bye pumpkin. mwah, mwah, i’ll come over tonight so i can sleep over m'kay?”
the call ends and kenma looks at his daughter as she drools down her onesie. “okay stinkers, you do need a bath.” he carries her to the bedroom, setting her down on the middle of the bed.
“baba?” she babbled. she pats her hands below her as she watched kenma place down new clothes and a fresh diaper. she picks up the items, giggling as bath time is her favorite.
“yes, baby, babas,” he agrees. “hopefully, mama and i can live together soon so i don’t need to call her every time you cry.” he squishes her cheek softly as she looks at him in awe. he lays beside her momentarily as she crawls over to him.
she reaches up to tug his hair, her way of asking for kisses. kenma lifts her up and peppers her face with kisses, pulling away only for her to lean into his cheek. she nibbles and drools onto him, making him cringe at the feeling. “okay stinkie, now we both are going babas, you gremlin.”
a/n: i hit 300 followers while i was on hiatus so i will start an event soon
cw: kuroo swears once
TSUKISHIMA
it was your birthday, and tsukishima wanted to make you a special breakfast to start of the day. the only problem was that he had estimated the time you were going to wake up incorrectly. he could hear your footsteps upstairs when making the waffles.
not knowing what to do he runs upstairs in the hopes of keeping you upstairs just a bit longer. “goodmorning.” - “goodmorning kei. you’re always up so early.” you give him a confused look when you notice him blocking your way to the stairs.
“is there something downstairs?” - “just go back to bed, i have to do something important downstairs.” he says before running off to the kitchen, leaving you behind in the bedroom. “that was … weird?” you mutter to yourself. even though you didn’t know what to do you decided to listen to him and wait for him.
KUROO
planning a surprise party wasn’t such a difficult thing to do, as long as you get the timing right. kuroo had thought out everything and was decorating the house, it was only halfway through the decorating that he heard the notification sound he had set for your number.
shift ended earlier, i’m heading home now :)
“fuck, fuck, fuck!” he exclaimed out loud as he frantically tried to call the people he had invited. he needed some extra hands to help him out. he even got bokuto to talk to you on your way back home so you’d take longer.
they’re leaving now you better be done with decorating !!!!
“bokuto says they’re leaving.” kenma reads from his phone. “COME HELP ME OUT KENMA!” - “jeez, i shouldn’t have left my house.”
KENMA
organizing something in secret was not something that kenma liked to do. he didnt like being all sneaky and hiding stuff from his s/o. it was yamamoto who convinced him to “step out of his comfort zone”. and now he was stuck in a disastrous situation.
he had bought you this sweater you had wanted for a long time, but the package hadn’t arrived. so now he didn’t have a present for your birthday. buying you another present wasn’t an option because, what was he supposed to buy?
the time was ticking and you could be arriving at the cafe at any moment. it was until he saw a notification pop up on his phone.
There is someone at your door.
the video doorbell displayed the mailman pressing the doorbell. he left as fast he could and texted you that he would be just a little bit later.
okay so I’ve been gone for a minute because I was writing my first fic on ao3 but I’m back with more trash than ever! I really love crack fics and my friend and I thought up this absolutely GREASY premise and I just couldn’t help myself. I only included a few of my ideas in this post but let me know if yall like it and maybe I’ll do a part 2
Haikyuu!! Frat House AU
Bokubro is obviously a member of the frat, he’s also a minor drug dealer with Kuroo, and his room is L I T E R A L L Y DISGUSTANG, like Kuroo actually has a fear of Bokuto’s side of their room. People are baffled, BAFFLED when they find out that his boyfriend is non other than Akaashi, president of the most prestigious fraternity on campus. But what can akaashi say? he believes any guy who can drink his weight in vodka, take at least three different unnameable drugs, and still smile at him the morning after, deserves his attention.
Kuroo took one for the team when he rushed, and roomed with Bokuto. Needless to say, his quiet gamer boyfriend, Kenma, refuses to stay over. When they first met at one of the frat’s infamous ragers, they’d stumbled into Kuroo’s shared room, heading toward a drunk hook up. Then Kenma put his hand in something wet. And very much alive. That was the first and last time. Bokuto and him irritate everyone by constantly referring to themselves as “businessmen”, only to be immediately informed by Iwaizumi and Daichi that “selling drugs to high schoolers doesn’t make you business men”
Daichi didn’t want to be in charge, but duty calls and when you and Iwaizumi are the only sane ones in the house, well a man has to step up. Plus, it totally gains him brownie points with all of the trashy college girls that show up to their notorious parties. because he was totally interested in that, and definetly not in the chaotic silver haired boy from the competing fraternity. no he wanted nothing to do with Sugawara. It’s not like he catches himself openly fantasizing about him, and the whole house made it into a running joke.
Iwaizumi is also in charge, to no one’s surprise. he and daichi have the cleanest room in the house, not only that but he’s the only one who will do dishes. he’s exhausted. he’s also sleeping with Oikawa Tooru the single most irritating member of the prestigious fraternity suga and akaashi are in. but don’t mention it, don’t talk about the way he blushes when oikawa throws it back, and DEFINETLY don’t bring up the time Oikawa broke his knee sneaking out of Iwaizumi’s room, and spent an entire semester harassing iwaizumi on a bright pink motorized scooter.
Ushijima doesn’t really care enough to be in charge. Mans is a FARMER if you catch my drift, and he makes fat stacks off of his “business” with Kuroo and Bokuto. once spent the entirety of his rush week in a maid’s costume. but hey he’s not complaining, it did get him the attention of that really weird dude from his leisure cooking class. he and Tendou are possibly the only couple that have it all figured out so kudos to them, three years strong
the miya twins are living frat legends, and they have been since their first party, at which Osamu got wasted and punched an equally wasted atsumu in the face for “breathing too loud”. Atsumu seems like he sleeps around a lot, and maybe he did, but the guy won’t stop simping for a very reserved chem major named Sakusa. sakusa gave into atsumu’s begging once and woke up on a stained mattress in Vegas for his trouble.
Terushima is also there, making each party a little bit more chaotic and sleeping his way through ever girl on campus, except for kiyoko and yachi, the other guys were oddly protective of them. make no mistake though, terushima was a loveable himbo, who made extra sure that safe, sane , and consensual relations were his top priority. during hell week, he had to poop in a target dumpster, but daichi and iwaizumi didn’t keep a good look out for him, he narrowly avoided getting arrested. NARROWLY.
Nishinoya and Tanaka rushed together. it went exactly how you think it did. Daichi and iwaizumi swore up and down that if they weren’t desperate for new pledges, they would’ve never let those two in after they set the toilet on fire. Tanaka got really smacked one night and took a vow to abstain from any hook ups until he and Kiyoko (the hot girl from that one sorority) were engaged. Noya holds him to it and it’s actually really wholesome. Noya on the other hand is battling a low grade obsession with the anxious design major from Akaashi’s fraternity. everytime Asahi gets inebriated he’s instantly the life of the party, and if Noya wasn’t already in love, that time drunk Asahi took his clothes off and swam in the city fountain with him really cemented it.
kyoutani hates that little snot from the other fraternity….what was his name? mini oikawa, super prissy and whiny….YaHAbA. Kyoutani won Iwazumi’s admiration when he took his rush like a champ, obliterating keg stands and hair removal alike. everyone thinks it’s really funny because they’re basically the same person down to the snotty, prissy, irritating boyfriends they won’t admit they have.
Ennoshita is the mini daichi, and he’s a simp for Tanaka. constantly pulling him back from fights, and rubbing his back when he throws up. maybe someday Tanaka might notice….
Lev is possibly the dumbest rush they have ever received and also the most fun. his natural talent for shotgunning and dangerous drunken adventures, makes him a favorite. he ripped his pants in front of the entire student body during his rush, on purpose. like he wanted it to happen. still to this day, no one understands why. he’s been simping for yaku as long as he’s been in college, so two whole months. to the outside world, it looks like the angry little man wouldn’t think twice about the lowly freshman, but lev’s been in enough closets with him to know that that’s just not true.
kindaichi just adds to the madness, he’s an anxious peacemaker with an epic talent as a lightweight, and a massive crush on his apathetic roommate, kunimi. Kunimi regretted joining the frat the first time he watched Bokuto peel string cheese with his toes.
Hinata and Kageyama are rushing at the same time. Tobio Swageyama is made for Greek life, but Hinata can barely do a keg stand. So naturally they are paired together through the rush callenges. This results in the loss of no less than six pairs of pants, a completely bald (no eyebrows) Kageyama, and an upside down lower back tattoo reading “boke”, sometimes they get a little too spicy at parties and take the whole “kiss the homies goodnight” thing to a whole other level
a/n: Just some random tweets that I wanted to post ‘cause they’re cute (also sorry for the BAD grammar I wrote this for fun so I didn’t proofread) ++ the Instagram one is just a try (the comment is from Bokuto)
