Today’s Sleepless Hysteria Thought™️: Baki baki ni ore but to the tune of ra ra rasputin

I'msorrybutyou'recursednow-

No one, ever: …

Me, at ANY given moment: Baki baki ni ore~

Satori Tendō =3

Satori Tendō =3

tendou, on goshiki’s second day at shiratorizawa: I’ve only had goshiki for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

BABIE

Did you know that Tendou was act as a giant on Attack on Titan?

Author’s Note: Just a little drabble I thought of about what Tendou’s first kiss would be like :))

Tendou Satori

Tendou’s first kiss with you was syrupy. His lips were chapped, which made for a rough kiss, but his tenderness made up for it. He was gentle, and excessively sweet, two qualities he was not known for. Most of all, however, he tasted like chocolate syrup. The redhead had begged to share a sundae with you; which was quite odd as he was notorious for hogging whatever ice cream he could get his hands on. He drenched the sweet in syrup, and merely laughed when you complained about it being too much.

Tendou poured many feelings into the kiss. Pent up feelings of love and desperation were felt. He was desperate for affection, and desperate for his fill. It was almost as if he was scared you’d reject him after this show of affection.

Tendou had never romantically kissed someone before. It was rather embarrassing considering the fact he was a third-year in high school, so he had tried his best to keep it a secret. (Well except the time he was playing a heated game of never have I ever—he was dead set in beating Semi) He was inexperienced, and any amount of practice with a pillow would not have prepared him for the actual ordeal. The sensation of you kissing back was phenomenal! It was nothing he would’ve expected…especially since this kiss was a spur of the moment mistake.

He was frazzled when you parted. His mind was in a daze as he tried to wrap his head around what happened. His thoughts ceased, however, when you tangled your hands into his hair and pulled him in for another.

YOU BUY A PLUSHIE OF THEIR BEST FRIEND

characters ♡ iwaizumi, kenma, akaashi & tendou 

tws ♡ graphic plushie abuse and parent!reader in akaashi’s

HAJIME IWAIZUMI

♡ honestly, you saw the oikawa plushie sitting in the window of some sports shop in the mall which you rarely visit

♡ and that same morning you had heard from iwaizumi that oikawa would be in town and visiting y’all tomorrow, so what would be a sweeter gift to give a rich volleyball player than a miniature version of himself?

♡ hence you bought it without a second thought (well, trying your best to ignore the ungodly price they had plastered on a glorified piece of stuffing)

♡ in fact, you also thought it would be cute to show iwaizumi since he hasn’t seen his best friend in years! perhaps he’d appreciate the little token of fame that displayed how far his childhood teammate has come

♡ but you couldn’t have been more wrong 

♡ like you even went to the effort of showing it to him while he is cooking bc that is when he is most peaceful, but no.. he was still annoyed

♡ but he wasn’t irritated for long, bc who could stay mad at such a cute face? (don’t ask whether he means your face or the plushies lol)

♡ however, even if he drops the “argument” (parenthesis bc it was just banter disguised as a quarrel), the oikawa plushie will still likely be defaced within the next 1–3 business days

♥  ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ 

“ew, what the fuck is that!?”

“it’s oikawa.” you hummed, gaze flickering between the plushie and iwaizumi’s utterly disgusted expression. honestly you couldn’t see anything wrong enough with the plushie to merit such large reaction; the eyes were a bit cartoony but other than that, it was cute! 

“exactly. get it out of my house before i throw it in here.” he spat while motioning to the pot of boiling rice, attention hastily fixating on the steam rising from the water, rather than having to view that thing any longer. “how much was it?” he muttered, hesitant to even imply that he was the slightest bit interested in it, but his curiosity was strong.

“expensive.” you croaked while averting your gaze, staring at the bubbling pot and smiling as if you didn’t notice how he was glaring you down, out of the corner of your eye. “but whatever, it’s not for you, anyway. it’s for him, and i’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

iwaizumi rolled his eyes and scoffed, which is seemingly all he has been able to do since he laid eyes on the plushie, “put the receipt next to my gym bag. i’ll return it on my way there tonight.” he said in an oddly flat tone, which contrasted with the exaggerated gasp that was ripped from your throat. 

“no way!” you pressed the back of your palm against your forehead while lifting the plushie in an exaggerated manner; if he was going to make a big fuss over a piece of stuffing, you may as well be dramatic too. “just because minikawa is better at volleyball than you, doesn’t mean you have to be envious of him. i love you both equally.”

catching on to what you were doing, iwaizumi first had to suppress an chuckle before snatching the plushie from your clutches and holding it above the pot of boiling rice; poor minikawa’s fluff being dampened by the steam. “let’s see if he can swim.” he tried to utter in the most sinister tone possible, but failed as you both had already burst out laughing. 

once he was able to catch his breath, he retracted his arm from above the pot and casually threw the plushie back to you, “here.” he said gruffly, as if he hadn’t just been cackling like a maniac a few seconds ago, “but if you’re gonna give it to him, at least let me sew the thing a better outfit first.”

you hummed, raising an eyebrow before glancing at the plush, scanning it’s attire and realising it was wearing his blue, argentinian uniform. immediately figuring out what he meant, your nose scrunched with joy, “it’s fine, i’ll sew a small seijoh uniform right now. you work too hard.”

iwaizumi chuckled, reaching backwards to slip a strong arm around your waist and pull you forward, planting a kiss on the first place his lips could reach; your jaw. followed by sensual whisper, close to your ear, “thank you, angel.”

KENMA KUZOME

♡ okay it really depends which bsf you buy — kuroo or hinata

♡ but realistically, why would a plushie of kuroo exist? he’s literally an employee at japan volleyball association (or an pornstar/tax evader depending on what manga panels you’ve been looking at) 

♡ meanwhile hinata is a pretty famous athlete, so it’s not surprising when you find a plushie of him for sale on amazon

♡ kenma had entrusted you with the task of finding “a few cute gifts” to give shōyō when he comes to visit

♡ you had bought all the usual stuff like soaps and flowers, also you had the idea to buy a customised MSBY jackals bottle opener and towel, so you thought you were set 

♡ but you had never ran to the virtual check-out faster than after you saw that plushie

♡ (also since kenma is famous too bc he is a stock trader/CEO/youtuber, there is probably a plushie of him for sale on amazon too — along with kageyama — and all three of them were in the “frequently bought together” section) 

♡ kenma is terrified 

♡ it didn’t bother him too much at first; he acknowledged that he thought it was creepy but he decided not to mention it since it wouldn’t be his problem for long anyway 

♡ but then you arranged all the gifts in a hamper, which you placed on the vanity which sat directly across from yoursharedbed

♡ so when he woke up in the middle of the night and took a small sip of water, he caught a glimpse of the plushie and it’s beady, dead eyes staring him down and he literally screamed 

♡ it wasn’t loud enough to wake you up but it still left his throat sore for the next week, and he spent the rest of the night hidden under the sheets, almost suffocating

♡ when he told you to get that gremlin out of his room and you asked why, he almost had a breakdown trying to explain that he wanted the plushie gone without admitting that he was scared

♡ because if he did — since he married a menace — he’d probably end up finding ten other plushies around the house, in the most unsuspecting places and it’d give him a heart attack every time

♡ one eye open when i’m sleeping

♥  ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

upon ripping open the parcel that had just arrived, you immediately sprung to your feet and rushed to kenma’s office just to show him the adorable item you bought. 

he owns a small suction cup sign which he sticks to his door whenever he is streaming or simply does not want to be disturbed, so when you notice that the sign wasn’t up, you barged into the room with the most cheesy grin gracing your features and the plushie hidden behind your back, “guess what?”

“you bought something.” his gaze remained fixated on his PC screen, yet he replied without missing a beat. 

“correct!” you announced proudly, noise scrunching with delight, “it’s for hinata, and i think it’s soperfect.”

before kenma got the chance to utter a single question, he flinched along with his desk as a large item was slammed onto the surface. turning to look at the source, his hairs jumped to stand on their ends as he met the lifeless eyes of a ginger goblin; he could’ve sworn he saw hellfire in it’s inky pupils 

“perfect?” he questioned, voice being reduced to a hoarse whisper.

“yeah,” you trailed off, noticing how his expression fell into a grimace, “don’t you like it? look what it does!” you tone was still surprisingly lively as you pressed it’s stomach, and hell broke loose. it sounded like hinata’s bathroom song being sung by a choir of devils; the noise caused kenma involuntarily cringe and avert his wide stare, yet he could still see out of the corner of his eyes that you seemed to be.. content? pleased with the chorus of ungodly screams? wearing a cute smile too? were you both hearing the same thing?

left speechless, all kenma could think to utter was a brief, “okay.” before returning to his work. if he didn’t care about you deeply, he’d have thrown the thing out the window by now. but he doesn’t want you to think of him as irrational or manic, so he forced his mouth shut and glued himself to the chair. in fact, he was too paralysed in fear to even move his arms;bonus!

happy with the response, you picked up the plushie and began heading for the door, but kenma couldn’t help but snicker at how you held the wretched thing dear like a baby when it was literally the visual manifestation of sin. 

“alright, kenma.” you peered over your shoulder and playfully blew him a kiss, which he reciprocated — he basked in your radiance, even if it was over a cursed gift, “i’ll let you get back to work. but remember to take a break soon.” 

you reminded him, since he had a tendency to overwork himself (when he wasn’t procrastinating) and he nodded, letting out a small sigh as you closed the door behind you. he wasn’t exactly sure how he was going to break it to you that the plushie was a bit freaky, but that was a problem he could deal with later. perhaps he’ll surprise you with a new car and then — while you’re overwhelmed with joy — he’ll ask you to take it on a test-drive to the incinerator and throw the plushie inside.

KEIJI AKAASHI 

♡ the most supportive boyfriend <3

♡ even if the plushie is literally terrifying, he will try to fix it with marker or just sew/knit a new one 

♡ and if y’all have a kid/baby he will show it to them and be like “look! it’s uncle kou..”

♡ and while the baby is all happy and content, he’ll take a video and send it to bokuto, who replies with a video of him making funny faces, for akaashi to show the baby

♡ either way, akaashi will be pleased…

♡ …until his kid starts carrying miniature bokuto everywhere 

♡ and whenever you try to take it off them to wash it, they immediately start wailing 

♡ it was endearing at first; how they were cuddling with the plushie almost all the time, and how akaashi had a bunch of pictures of mini-bokuto in the most random places bc your kid refused to leave it at home (including the aquarium, the mall, the cinema and the supermarket, sitting on the shelf amongst the towering diet coke bottles)

♡ but it got to the point where you were both afraid that they’d never grow out of it.. 

♡ but fortunately, once bokuto actually came to visit y’all — and your kid got to see uncle kou in the flesh — they kinda left their plushie in favour of the real deal

♡ even when bokuto had to go back home, your kid spent so much time playing with the toys he brought, they pretty much forgot about the plushie all together 

♡ benefits of tiny child brain

♡ but what you and akaashi failed to consider, was the fate of the grimy, tattered bokuto plushie once your kid had given up on it

♡ it was in too poor condition to give to charity, so that only left you with one option…

♥  ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

“i suppose this is goodbye.” you monologued, watery gaze fixated on the torn plushie in your hands. well, your hands that were protected by two layers of disposable plastic gloves, of course; there was no way in hell you’d touch that thing with your bare palms. not when it was covered with grime, dust, filth and memories. 

“don’t be so dramatic, sweetheart.” akaashi chuckled. though he found it endearing that you were almost as attached to the plushie as your baby was, he simply couldn’t bare another second so close to the object without some sort of nose plug; it reeked. 

as you stared dejectedly down on the plushie hovering over the endless trash void, akaashi considered swatting the plushie out of your hand and into the garbage to spare some time, but he didn’t dare to touch it without hand protection. “why are we still standing here?”  

you sighed, turning the plush to face him with it’s beady eyes, “look, it’s so cute. plus our baby adored it so much, maybe we should keep it for memories’ sake?”

“or maybe we shouldn’t.” akaashi reached up to squeeze his nose shut, which conveyed to the point he was trying to prove. 

“yeah.” you said nonchalantly as your grip on the object loosened, allowing it to fall from your hand and join the rest of the trash. though your stare was filled with sorrow, akaashi appeared as though he couldn’t care less, but he did try to force a frown for your sake. 

his gentle touch lingered on your back, opposed to holding your hand, “i’m glad our house is free of that stink.” he mused, planting a brief kiss on your cheek before walking inside, likely to feed the baby. 

needless to say, you both spent the rest of the night looking through his gallery of photos with the baby and their ex-best friend.

SATORI TENDŌ

♡ worst mistake of your life 

♡ he’s a menace 

♡ makes it his personal goal to put the poor ushi plushie through everything

♡ at first he did exclusively evil stuff; like putting it through the blender, the washing machine, the oven, encasing it in chocolate etc 

♡ like it is wasn’t even for stress-relief or anything- he just thought it was funny

♡ (he even opened up a secret tiktok account to showcase his shenanigans @ushiwakasmoothie )

♡ (and he’d send the tiktoks to ushijima like “yo dude, this guy on tt is DESTORYING your plushies” and ushiwaka is 99% certain it’s tendou making the videos but he still replies “Haha! ” )

♡ but eventually you convinced tendou to be nicer 

♡ (so now that he is a changed man he has to make a new account for his cute photos @ushiwakaismyson )

♡ and his feed is mainly comprised of the plushie doing nice things like drinking milkshakes, going on walks, doing yoga, enjoying a bubble bath — generally just the opposite of the hell he was put through earlier

♡ and the account probably becomes really popular too bc who doesn’t want a picture of mini-ushijima riding a toy tractor as their homescreen?

♡ ultimately, all good things must come to an end, though

♥  ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥

trying to take a nice skyline photo with the plushie sat on the balcony railing of tendou’s penthouse wasn’t exactly a smart idea. but who’s to say any of your ideas ever were?

“more to the right.” you mused, staring at the scene through your phone camera, trying to capture a gorgeous shot of the horizon while also keeping the plushie as the focal point.

in tandem with your request, he adjusted it, but not without tossing his head back and letting out an exasperated groan, “my arm fucking hurts.”

yet all you could do was giggle, “i’m almost done.”

“really?” his eyes practically lit up with joy as he jolted to his feet and let go of the plushie in favour of running behind you, peering over your shoulder to peek at the photo you had yet to take.

“i said almost.” you grumbled, just about to snap a shot until a large gust of wind caused your hair to flew over your eyes. once it ceased, time seemed to slow down as you both watched the plushie lose balance on the thin railing, stumbling backwards on it’s uneasy feet until it was gone, over the edge. 

the look of concern you both shared after watching the object quickly disappear past the glass barrier quickly morphed into one of stifled delight, “what the fuck—” you cackled, tears brimming at your lashline. 

“there he goes!” tendou had to rest a hand upon your shoulder to stop himself from keeling over with laughter, “oh, god—”

this went on for a while until you were both able to successful stand up and repress your snickers enough to form whole sentences again, “should we maybe head down and grab it?” you inquired politely, only to be met with a roll of tendou’s eyes as he guided you back instead. 

“nah, it’s fine. he had a good run.”

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CARNIVAL DATE WITH TENDOU 

choose-a-date ♡choose love! — 2k event ♡@giveitallyougotbuddy

tw: swearing & no beta

instructions:for each decision you make, you will be given points. at the end, tally your points and click on the links at the end to view your results! everything inred bold is a question for the reader

The carnival was packed. waiting patiently, you sat perched at the end of a bench, trying your best to avoid the ketchup smeared on the seat beside you, slurping your slushy while absently staring into the masses, observing the idle chaos.

Distant screams could be heard from the rides surrounding, as if that didn’t clog your senses enough, the blinding lights piercing through the night had you squinting and was on the verge of causing you a migraine. Noise-cancelling headphones or a blueberry slushy couldn’t save you; all you wanted to do was leave. Bored out of your mind amidst the overwhelming atmosphere. 

 Until, it all went dark. 

Cold yet soft palms were pressed over your eyes, shielding your vision as warm breath tickled your ear, “Guess who?”

> “My love!” ♡3 points

> “Tendou!”♡3 points

> “Ushijima!”♡2 points

> “God!”♡2 points

> “No clue.” ♡1 point

A warm chuckle erupted from behind you; the hands parting from your eyes to reveal an upside-down tendou hanging in front of your face, his loud smile immediately filling you with joy, “It’s me!” He chirped, swiftly taking a seat beside you but only swinging one leg over the bench so he could face you and press his forehead against your own.

“Sorry I’m late, I got caught up back there.” He gestured in the direction the entrance, where you was lined with booths which you could hardly resist yourself, so you couldn’t blame Tendou for getting a bit distracted too.

“It’s fine, you’re here now.” You shrugged while pulling away from his touch slightly so you could continue drinking your slushy, casually offering him some too and laughing as he eagerly snatched the cup from your had and took a sip. 

Then, he pulled it away from his lips with a refreshed ‘ah’, handing it back to you with cheesy grin, “Thank you.” He paused, throwing off his backpack and bringing it on to his lap, unzipping it then staring at you with anticipation, “Alright, guess what I won you.”

You felt heat rise to your cheeks, the surrounding, flashy rides suddenly becoming more interesting as you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his crimson eyes, “You didn’t have to do that.”

“But I did.” He cooed, shaking his bag and considering the incomprehensible rattling noise to be a ‘hint’ as to what’s inside, “C’mon, guess what I won, just for you.”

Your unwavering blank expression was enough to prompt him to elaborate, “It’s a plushie of an animal that reminds me of you!”

> “A tiger!” ♡3 points

> “A bear!” ♡3 points

> “A bunny!” ♡2 points

> “A panda!” ♡2 points

> “A chicken!” ♡1 point

Tendou blinked a few times before bursting out into laughter, slowly revealing the plushie with a shaky arm, the inner corners of his eyes already beginning to glisten in amusement. “I—”

He stuttered, and you weren’t sure what was so entertaining about your answer, until you saw the plushie. Hello Kitty holding a cupcake.

“I probably should’ve mentioned that it wasn’t real.” He wheezed, struggling to pry his eyes open and watch as you scooped the item from his hands, admiring it with a concentrated look; the sparkle in your eyes causing the tips of his ears to redden. 

“I mean, cats are real.” You pointed out, absently squishing the kitty’s soft cheek with your finger; the sight was oddly amusing, however maybe that was due to the fact you were too tired to deal with anything else. 

The time you spent alone in the booming crowd had evidently drained you, but Tendou going out of his way to win you something, proved your waiting to be worth it; you couldn’t express how much appreciated him, but you could try. “Thank you so much, Satori.”

Even when you turned to smile at him, with his chin resting against his palm, his lovesick gaze never faltered; neither did his gentle smile, as he cooed, “Do you like it?”

> “Obviously! It’s so cute!” ♡ 3 points

> “Of course, but I feel like I need to win you something now.” ♡3 points

> “Yeah, I love it!” ♡2 points

> “Yep, you know me so well.” ♡2 points

> “I’m not sure.” ♡1 point

Tendou simply nodded, taking the plushie from your hand and placing it back in his bag for safekeeping. 

“Careful!” He laughed at your exclamation, making sure to zip it up extra slowly as if that was going to make a difference to Hello Kitty’s wellbeing. Once it was secured in his backpack, he slung it back over his shoulders, “I’ll give it back to you before we leave.”

There was a moment of silence between both of you while Tendou’s attention seemed to fray from his previous fixation on your lips, hence you followed his gaze to see multiple bags of cotton candy — of various sizes — hanging from the edges of what looked to be a ring toss stall. 

From the corner of your eye, you could see Tendou opening his mouth to speak but before it could reach your ears, you had already darted off in the direction of the stall with a mischievous smirk painted on your face; one would think you were about to cheat, but no, you were just proud of the fact you could finally win your boyfriend something. 

Upon approaching the stall, you slammed the crumpled game ticket which had been pushed down to the depths of your pockets, onto the counter. Allowing the worker to exchange it for a small, plastic ring. 

Preparing to throw, you leaned back and curled your dominant arm round your body, assuming that would provide it with more power. Your eyes fluttered shut as you took a deep breath, the stress of the carnival melting off your body and leaving warmth in its place. 

Just as you were about to step forward to through your first ring, a scream was ripped from your throat in response to feeling hot breath against your ear; a eerily mellow voice muttering, “What’re you doing, babe?”

All the warmth rushed to your cheeks, not only from embarrassment, but also how close Tendou was, for a split second. 

“What does it look like I’m doing?” You panted, placing your hand over your chest in attempt to calm your heartbeat, “I’m trying to win you that candyfloss.”

Tendou let out an elongated ‘oh’ of realisation as he stepped aside, giving you more room to practise your throwing technique, “Sorry for interrupting, carry on.” He sung with sickeningly sweet smile which you couldn’t stay mad at, even if you tried.

You huffed out through your nose and shut your eyes once again, attempting to find your zen while crossing your arm over your chest in order to put enough force into the throw. After stabilising your breathing, you pried one eyes open to observe the options laid before you. 

There were three rows of sticks; the farthest ones obviously being worth the most points, hence able to win you the largest bag of candy floss with the singular ring you had. However, the number of sticks in a row also decreased along a greater distance, hence it would be less risky to aim for the closer sticks.

Which one will you aim for?

>The farthest away stick ♡3 points

>The stick in the middle ♡2 points

>The closest stick ♡ 1 point

Surprisingly, the ring followed the exact course you sent it on, leading to it landing perfectly around the stick you aimed for; which left the worker looking almost as stunned as you, meanwhile Tendou was simply dancing, free cotton candy!

“You did it!” He cheered, shooting you a cheesy grin while being handed the bag of cotton candy, of a size in relation to how many points you won. But regardless of how large it was, Tendou simply appreciated the fact you went out of your way to win it for him.

One of his hands dipped into the plastic bag to take bites of the candy, while the other clutched the item in his back pocket; he was certain he wasn’t going to regret this. 

“So,” He almost stuttered, fidgeting with the strap of his bag, “Can I take you somewhere?” His found its way into yours, gently rubbing the back of your cold hand with his thumb as he awaited your response.

“Sure, but where is ‘somewhere’?” 

TALLY YOUR POINTS

4–7

8–12

Ushijima: I carry a picture of my rival Oikawa to always fill me with vengeance.
Tendō: I guess that makes sense.
Ushijima: I take it with me wherever I go and I sleep with it on the other pillow by my face.
Tendō:…

something in his eyes that drew me xd