#hate my job

It’s 5pm on a Sunday night and I have to go back to work tomorrow. My stomach hurts just thinking about it. This past week flew by so fast, I loved not have to wake up in a rush to get my son ready for school and to make myself look half decent. So dreading tomorrow where my life goes back to Chaos management. My work gives me so much anxiety, It’s been very clear lately that they are using me for my ideas and actually hired a girl who’s job is to copy the marketing that I do for my company. I feel like there’s no room to grow and most of all I feel stuck. I am good at my job, I take pride in it but lately I’ve lost all of my drive and feel like I’m not sure what I’m working towards. I know what’s going to happen tomorrow I will wake up, I will get my son ready and drop him off at school and I will go to work. By Tuesday I will be back in the swing of things and hating life again. I feel like after vacation you need something to look forward to just to keep going. I do have a business trip in March ( for a job I’m not happy at) lol. Ok no more negativity, this is 2022. New year, new me with all the same problems. I will do my best to be in the moment and really enjoy life, focus on the positives. I started a new face washing/toner routine to make myself look like I’m 22 ( haha not 34). Also hopefully I’ll be saying goodbye to some pounds, I have been drinking giant jug of water everyday. It’s funny how New Years forces people to take a hard look at themselves and see what they are not happy with. I also read somewhere that dressing better forces you to look at yourself in a better light. I’m going to start trying to not look like I just rolled out of bed in 2022. I also got some turtlenecks because I think that’s going to be a go to top this year. Last time I wore a turtleneck was in 6th grade, I felt suffocated the whole time. Wish me luck. So the new Kate will arrive to work tomorrow, with shiny skin from all the crap that I’m using to look like I am 22, with a coffee in one hand, giant water jug in the other wearing a turtleneck. I will also have my new work tote with my new 2022 planner in it, that I am going to force myself to use and not stop by February like all the others. Positive, only positive thoughts. Wish me luck. 01/02/21

Being off this week from work is making me wonder if I even want to go back. I wish that I worked because I wanted to not because I need to. It doesn’t help that lately I feel like my job has become a dead end and I have no room to grow. I report to the president, wish my paycheck reflected that. The positives about my work, I get to use my creativity for marketing purposes, it’s 5 min from home, my son’s school is basically across the street. I used to be excited to wake up and get dressed to go to work now I drag my feet, hair is always a mess my and I wear the same pants 3 times a week. I feel like I’ve hit the ceiling there and that’s the reason why I no longer feel motivated there. My work also goes unnoticed a lot. I have been there for over 5 years, that’s like 40 years at a normal job. The field that I work in is different to say the least- construction. The people I deal with on daily bases are construction workers with multiple personalities. I’m the 1st face they are when they apply, I’m the one that interviews them, makes the offer and then they all consider me their go to person for just about anything. My check is wrong, I put in vacation request, I have my supervisor, I want benefits, I failed the drug test, my license expired, I need an eye exam, I got hurt, my car broke down- they look at me as their solution for all their problems. It gets mentally exhausting. By the time I come home I do not want to talk to anyone. It’s only Wednesday today and I am dreading going back on Monday. So between now and Monday I have to hit the lottery, fingers crossed. 12/29/21