#honeymoon
0 - The Leap this is when you take the plunge and let yourself begin to fall.
1 - Falling This is the honeymoon phase everyone talks about. Includes giddiness, constant excitement, dreaminess, drawing hearts everywhere, smiling all the time. There’s also a fair amount of anxiety as you aren’t sure yet if it’s right. This is especially true if you’ve been hurt before.
2 - Sinking This is when the crazy giddiness starts to wear off. You’re still falling, but more slowly, there’s more substance, and a warmth and peace starts to grow around your relationship.
3 - Digging You find yourself on solid ground. All the low hanging fruit of getting to know each other is gone, to get deeper you have to really dig into who they are, ask deep questions, have big conversations. It takes effort, but it’s worth it. Deep friendship starts to form. It’s more work, but the reward is also greater.
4 - Building You have become each others’ best friends. You know each other SO WELL. You start working as a team, creating, planning, making memories, establishing relational and life habits and having experiences. What you build now will become the foundation for a life together into the future.
what comes after these stages? I don’t know yet. I guess we’ll find out :)
Lili Trifilio
knockin’ on heaven’s door
The city is such an elusive toxic ex. And unfortunately, for me, it’s the one I would still get back with if they asked me to. It’s carved a place in me because it gave me all of these first experiences, and pushed me to do things I would’ve never done. I came here when I was 22, right after college, working odd jobs and living in an 8x10 in Brooklyn. I stayed out late and fell asleep on trains at 4am. I carried a toothbrush in my bag, along with a lot of other things because #commuterlife. It was glorious. I got tired of living that kind of life after a year so I left for a little bit, and now that I’m here again, it’s exactly what I hoped running into an ex I still loved would be like. The red flags are mysterious novelties once again, like letting you be free and whoever you want, but that’s also how they make others feel too, so in the end you’re not even all that special. Here I am, back in the city. I can’t say that I didn’t take this into calculation, putting myself in the vicinity of old love, of potentially running into this ex at any moment, of impulsively falling in that trap yet again.
Lana Del Rey album covers