OK I wanted to put my soul and love to this drawing and I DIDN’T THINK IT WOULD BE THIS BEAUTIFUL AH I’m so proud Dragonji and Foxian now live in my heart eternally
Had lots of fun working on my first collab with @dragonterra88, loved her beautiful style, especially with Lan Zhan.
Really really LOVED the outcome !!! ❤ Her Wei Ying looks so beautiful !! her style is so precious! I had a lot of fun doing my first collab with u ❤❤@shadowv17❤❤
I was doing homework and my brain was suddenly like:
“HEY draw SQQ and LBH as animals”
“… I don’t know how to draw animals …”
“JUST DO IT”
“okay”
And here we are, I’m in chapter 20 in SVSSS and I’m not ready to see my bb Luo grow, I mean I love him that way when he’s smol, he’s a smol white lotus ! I still love him when he’s grown but he’s so innocent now, I’M NOT READY-
What do u get by combining ancient china with modern AU WangXian ? Cyberpunk WangXian AU !
I’m planning to do a full AU of this idea I had one lonely night, but there is something called “virtual classes” that literally consumes all my non-existent time, maybe one day I’ll have time to plan this a lot more.
among other things, I really love the way love bears a liberating quality for wei wuxian and lan wangji. it’s definitely more obvious for lan wangji, what with his famous head ribbon being touched and played with so many times and finally untied by wwx. his head ribbon signifies self-control, following the clan’s rules and your principles. it stands for wangji restricting his feelings in the name of what’s considered right by his clan and in the name of maintaining the perfect image.
this is how wangxian’s relationship starts: with wei ying messing around with the lan clan’s virtues and making lwj break his rules and take a different look at the world, at morality, at what’s wrong and right. the untying of lan zhan’s head ribbon was a symbol for this (aside from the whole “only family and spouses can touch it” thing).
its colour is also symbolic - white, the whiteness of being pristine, controlled, chaste, and proper. this is what wei wuxian freed lan zhan from.
and liberation works the other way around too. it’s hard to see the wild wei ying who does whatever he wants as someone in need of freedom but he has his own chains weighing down on him too. he’s not the only portrayed constantly wearing a ribbon. remember the red binding he used for tying his hair all the time? they didn’t put this in the tv show but it’s right there in the novel and the donghua. he, too, is restricted but it’s not by rules and high morals and self-control. it’s by everything the colour red stands for - by his own passionate nature that gets angry in the face of injustice and has to stand up for shit and fight, be violent, by his arrogance that makes him believe he can do it all, he can dominate the world and protect all of it at the same time, by his hot head and fast mouth. sometimes you get burned on your own flame and it hurts the most.
now I’m not sure if he wasn’t portrayed as wearing his hair down at some other part of the novel but the one time it’s mentioned that his ribbon is finally undone was when he and lan zhan were having sex. actually i think it was on two occasions - during that time in the bushes and in the incense burner dream when wwx’s hair became undone and loose and his ribbon was splayed out under his head. it’s with lan zhan that he could finally let go of all of this - the anger commanded by fear and desire to prove himself and protect what he values, the hot temper, the fight. that too is a heavy burden to carry.
and lan zhan takes it off from him. sometimes, it is in love that you finally find freedom from your own self.
It’s for these kinds of details that make me love them and love their relationship more and more every time, ohh gosh this is so perfect I’m crYING ;;;
Melinda May stood next to him, fists up and facing the threat–ready to protect him, just as she always did. Her cheek and bottom lip had cuts and there were purple bruises forming as well. She looked exhausted and angry. He fought the urge to touch her injuries and make sure she was okay.
Melinda May also stood in front of him. Her body was still, but he could read the tell-tale signs that she was ready to spring as soon as she saw an opening. She was wearing the same clothes as earlier when they’d been talking over paperwork, her with her cup of tea and him with his coffee. They’d been talking about going to the gym and sparring a few rounds like they used to. He remembered the way her smirk made his heart beat a little faster in anticipation. He was a little concerned about his best friend–she seemed to be a little off ever since they shared that bottle of Haig–so he was happy to have an excuse to have some time alone with her (even if she wasgoing to wipe the floor with him).
Phil held his hands out in front of him as if to steady himself. He glanced between the two versions of his partner and shook his head.
“Notagain.”
“Phil,” Melinda’s steady voice came from his left. “I don’t know who she is, but she’s not me.”
“Funny. I was just about to say the same thing.” The Melinda that stood in front of him answered. “Step away from her, Phil.”
“The last time I saw you was right before I left to pick up AIDA and Radcliffe.” Melinda #1 (it was the only way to keep them straight in his head, okay?) glanced at him before looking back at Melinda #2–their glares held the same amount of fire. He’d been on the receiving end of that glare too many times to count, and he knew it well. This was all very confusing. “We talked about that bottle of Haig, remember?”
“We drank it already.” Melinda #2′s voice was cold. Phil could see her restraining herself, wanting to move towards him. “That was me, Phil, you know it was.”
Phil saw Melinda #1′s shoulders drop a fraction, as if she was disappointed by the other Melinda’s statement.
“This is some kind of trick to get you to doubt me and think I’m a traitor–again.” Melinda #2 looked at him with that last word, pain evident in her brown eyes.
Phil had a flashback to the time when he thought Melinda had betrayed him for HYDRA. His heart twinged painfully at the memory. Where in the world were Fitzsimmons and Daisy when you needed them? He needed ICERs, or some kind of non-lethal weapon. No way was he going to risk hurting the wrong Melinda. Something niggled him at the back of his brain, something he could use, but his mind was too focused on the two Melindas to figure out what it was.
“I-” Phil tried to answer her, but the words stuck in his throat. “Both of you need to just stay here until Fitzsimmons and Daisy get down here. They’ll help figure this out.”
“AIDA’s gone after them and Radcliffe, Phil.” The sharpness in Melinda #1′s voice betrayed her. She was hurting, he could tell. “We don’t have time for this. Just lock her up and we’ll figure out to do with her when we finish dealing with AIDA.”
“Or we could put youinto the containment module while wedeal with AIDA.”
“Stop talking, both of you.” Phil’s head hurt. Both Melindas turned their glare towards him. Naturally. As if one set of eyes burning into his scalp wasn’t bad enough.
Phil edged away from Melinda #1, putting his hand out when she tried to move with him.
“Don’t.”
His heart ached at the hurt that flashed across her face. He knew Melinda better than anyone. He should knowwhich one was her, but instead, he felt completely torn and helpless. Surely he would have recognized if the woman he’d been spending time with wasn’t his partner? But they looked identical–from their height, to their dark hair, all the way down to their legs (not that he had studied the exact shape of them or anything…he was just a good spy who noticed things about people). He couldn’t be sure.
Phil now stood in the middle of both of them, wracking his brain for a way to test their knowledge. Something only he and Melinda would know.
“Back at the Academy, we had a hiding place only a few people knew about.”
“Our atti-.”
“The attic above the main lecture hall.” Melinda #2 spoke over Melinda #1, whose glare only intensified.
Well,crap. That didn’t work.
“Our first undercover mission together?”
“Before we graduated–before Sausalito–we were a couple at a bus stop.” Melinda #2 looked into his eyes, pleading with him to believe her. “We received top marks for it–everyone knew what a great team we were, even then.”
“How do you knowthat?” Melinda #1′s face revealed a mixture of confusion and fear. “Phil, I don’t know where she got this intel from, but it has to be AIDA’s doing. You can’t believe her.”
“Even AIDA wouldn’t know that information.” Phil replied. His eyebrows were drawn, making lines across his forehead. He glanced at Melinda #2, seeing the beginnings of hope cross her face.
Phil looked between the two of them again and rubbed his forehead. Wishing, ironically, for Melinda’s advice. She always helped him when he was stuck on a problem. Even when she didn’t say a word, problems seemed smaller and were easier to solve when she was with him.
In despair, he whispered, “How am I supposed to know, May?”
They both moved toward him instantly, but Melinda #2 got to him first. She grabbed Phil’s prosthetic hand and squeezed it. Phil looked into her eyes, hoping it would reveal the truth. He’d learned a long time ago that even when May’s face showed nothing, her dark eyes gave her away. Her pain, her mirth, her compassion, her intelligence, her love, all shone through her eyes.
The cold metal of a gun, passed carefully into his right hand, completely scattered his thoughts.
Phil looked wide-eyed at Melinda #1, who looked back at him steadily.
“Wha-”
“Phil, look at me, you have to know this. You have to hear me.” Melinda #2′s voice implored him and his attention was turned once again. He hated this. Hated it. How dare she give him that decision? It wasn’t a decision at all! There had to be another way. He wouldn’t dare risk it. He could never shoot someone he cared so much about, someone he lo-
“I love you.”
Phil’s world spun.
Those three words, said so quietly and with such sincerity, pierced him right through the heart. Melinda #2 gazed at him with honesty and certainty in her eyes, an almost-smile making her lips turn up slightly. She stepped closer to him.
Phil’s heart thumped loudly in his chest. He unconsciously leaned toward her as his grip tightened on the gun. He’d wanted to hear those words from her for so long. He wanted to-
“Phil,” Phil turned his head at the raspy voice and saw her eyes. Melinda’s eyes, shining with unshed tears, looking at him desperately. Her head shook almost imperceptibly. “Phil…” She breathed out again, begging him with just that one word.
He knew.
In one smooth motion, Phil pulled his hand out of Melinda #2′s grasp and released the taser function in his robotic hand. Her eyes widened in shock as her body shook from the electricity. He caught the fake May as she fell, setting her down none-too-gently, then grabbed the real Melinda–hisMelinda, as her body sagged with relief and exhaustion.
The gun nearly fell from Phil’s hand in his haste, but he quickly stuffed it in his back pocket and proceeded to touch Melinda’s shoulders and face gently, his hands shaking all the while.
“Are you okay? What happened? I almost-” Phil couldn’t speak past the lump in his throat, so he ran a gentle thumb over a purple bruise on her cheekbone before pulling his partner into his arms, holding her close to his chest. “Why would you hand me that gun?” Phil choked out. “What if I chose the wrong person?”
Phil felt Melinda shudder and grip the front of his shirt before she answered, softly and simply, “I trust you with my life.”
At those words, his tears threatened to overwhelm him. He didn’t want to let go of her, but Melinda pulled away, her hands turning into fists as she looked at the impostor at their feet.
“We have to lock her up and find Daisy and Fitzsimmons. They could be in trouble.” Melinda’s voice was clipped, and he didn’t know if it was because of her emotions or because she was angry with him.
Phil nodded sharply once and was about to pick up the impostor, but before he did, he touched Melinda’s arm again. “Hey, after this is over, we’re talking about…” He paused, “Whatever just happened.”
“You mean how you knew she wasn’t me when she told you she loved you?” Melinda’s mouth was set in a harsh line. Phil winced. Of course that was what she’d think. “Not much to talk about. Grab her legs.”
Phil wanted nothing more than to argue, but his team was in trouble. He grabbed the fake May’s legs and promised himself he would straighten it out with her later. There would be no more dancing around his feelings–it was time.
An android.
She’d been replaced by a robot.
AIDA had used the scans of her brain and made her into an android so lifelike that Melinda herself couldn’t see a difference.
But Phil had. He’d known.
Only after she told him she loved him. Melinda’s heart ached bitterly at the thought. Was she so cold that she couldn’t ever admit her feelings aloud without raising suspicion?
Melinda sat on her bed in her room, long after they’d managed to shut down AIDA and save their team. She’d just finished the last Jemma-enforced medical test and was finally alone, trying–and failing–to not think about the stand-off between herself and the robot earlier. Where Phil had to make a decision about who was real, and who was fake.
She meant what she said–she trusted Phil with her life. Melinda had given him the gun, hoping he would understand her meaning. She wasn’t one to blurt out her feelings like the android had–no matter how true its words had been. It took years of denial, obstacles, and pushing thoughts and feelings away, but she loved him.
Shelovedhim.
But apparently that revelation was so shocking and unlike her that Phil knew immediately it couldn’t have been her saying it.
Melinda clenched her jaw and told herself she was being over-dramatic, but it didn’t stop the stinging in her heart.
At the knock on her door, Melinda closed her eyes and sighed. She knew it was coming, but she still wasn’t ready. Couldn’t he be unpredictable and notcome to check on her for once?
Melinda slowly got up and walked to the door, opening it and revealing Phil, looking like he was trying to appear casual. She knew what his forced-calm looked like. Their masks didn’t work well on each other.
“I’m fine.” Melinda stated, unemotionally.
“You’re not even going to invite me in so I can properly ask how you are?”
Melinda stared at him without any expression. He just raised his eyebrows at her until she sighed again and turned around.
She didn’t even make it back to her bed before he spoke.
“So about earlier-” Phil started.
“It’s fine,” Melinda said. Hoping if she said it enough, he’d just leave her alone. Oh please, a voice inside her whispered, like that’s going to happen. “I’m just glad you didn’t shoot me.”
Her attempt at humor didn’t move him. If anything, it made the worry lines on his forehead deepen.
“You think I couldn’t tell you were upset? We need to talk.”
“I told you, there’s nothing to talk about.” Melinda sat down on her bed and crossed her arms over her chest. She didn’t want to hear his explanation.
“Actually, there is.” Phil stated, determination on his face and in his tone. He stood in front of her. “Jemma and Fitz said the android essentially had your brain–with all its memories and thoughts and–and feelings.”
Melinda’s jaw clenched. Fine. He wanted to do this now, she’d let him have it. She prepared herself for an argument.
“Look, just because I don’t–and didn’t–say it doesn’t mean I don’t-”
“I know.” His answer and expression stopped Melinda in her tracks. His blue eyes were filled with compassion and warmth, the beginnings of a smile dancing at his lips. He slowly sat down next to her, the bed creaked slightly. “I knew you wouldn’t say it–not like that. Not there. The android said it to manipulate me because she knew it would affect my judgement. Get me to wantto believe her.” He paused and took a breath. “Melinda, you don’t have to convinceme about how much you care. I know it. I know it through your actions–like when you gave me the gun, telling me you trusted me to know–but in that moment, I knew it was you from your eyes.” Phil looked down at his hands, slightly embarrassed. “It sounds corny but it’s true. I looked into your eyes and I just…knew.”
They gazed at each other now, soaking in the meaning of his speech. There was a beat of silence before Phil reached out and cupped Melinda’s cheek with his hand–his real hand. Melinda leaned into his palm, blinking back her tears.
“I know how much you care.” He murmured, thumb stroking her cheek lightly.
“Do you?” Melinda answered softly, her brown eyes searching his blue ones. “The robot may have been trying to manipulate you, Phil, but she–it–wasn’t wrong…I do love you.”
Melinda heard Phil’s breath catch in his throat, and looking into his blue eyes filled with hope and love, she made a decision. Leaning forward, Melinda crossed that last boundary they’d been tip-toeing around for what felt like forever. She kissed him slowly, memorizing the feeling and the thrill when he responded, pouring her feelings for him into that one moment.
“If I didn’t know then,” Phil breathed, his eyes still half-closed as Melinda gently pulled back a fraction. “I definitely know now.” He smiled at her, then said mischievously, “But maybe you should tell me again, just to be sure.”
Melinda rolled her eyes and kissed him again, unable to keep from smiling as his arm wrapped around her waist to pull her closer.
A/N: Because, yes. I’m incapable of writing angst without having fluff in there too. Haha!
More notes: YES, Phil and Melinda’s attic and their bus stop operation are references to @ddagent‘s fic, “Partners.” So READ IT.
HUGE thanks to @b00k-freak for cheering me on and helping me come up with so many aspects of this fic! I adore her, even if she makes me write angst. And @philinda for being so amazing and looking over this fic. I love you!
Inktober? Kinktober? Dunno them, how about PAINtober! And so the best DGM sskk AU, cause pain! Talking about dgm sskk au this fic is amazing, and while drawings not direct scenes from it, I loved it a lot.
