#ikemen incorrect quotes
Isaac:Hmm…something’s missing today
Sebastian: Master Isaac, I brought your afternoon snack
Isaac:-sigh- That must be it
Sebastian: Today I brought strawberries and…
Isaac: I already told you I hate a-
Sebastian:bananas!
Isaac:oh…
[later]
Arthur: Hey Isaac, do you know what just fell?
Isaac: Please don’t say a-
Arthur: Me! because I just fell in love!
Issac:Oh…
[much later]
Isaac:-sigh-
Dazai: Hey, Ai-kun! Look what I brought you -throws an apple-
Isaac: You know? I was having a really good day before you brought this apple
Dazai: Well then give it to me
Isaac:
Isaac: No, it’s mine now…thanks
[In a car]
Theo: Hey guys, I’m scared to drive at night
Arthur: I’m afraid of the dark
Mozart: I’m claustrophobic
Jean: I’m scared of people yelling
[through a tunnel]
All:AAAAAAAHHHHH
Isaac: I have a mommy kink
MC: So…I supposed to act like your mom?
Isaac:…yes
MC: Why are all these damn dishes in the sink?!
Isaac:…
MC: I took 5 pregnancy tests… and they all came out positive
Arthur: Do you know what it means, Newt?
Jean:-gasp- Are you going to have five children?
Isaac, panicking: HOW ARE WE GOING TO RAISE 5 CHILDREN?!
Stranger: Hey kid, your dad sent me to pick you up
Little Jean: Really? What does my “dad” looks like then?
Stranger: Ummm…he’s kinda reserved, very tall and has dark blue hair!
Little Jean:-imagining le Comte and taking his hand- Yeah, whatever
Comte, running from behind:JEAAAAAAN
Theo: She told me “I want to see your nakedness” and I invited her to the museum to tell her how happy it makes me to share the emotions that artists express in their works and why my broer is so important to me
Arthur:What?
Theo: She scoffed, she wanted to see the nakedness of my body, and I, an idiot, showed her the nakedness of my soul
Arthur: Bro, u okay?
Theo, sobbing:no
[In a escape room]
Arthur: We need to find the murder weapon
Isaac: I found a rope!
Arthur: I found a revolver
Theo: There’s a dagger-
Dazai: And a BANANA!
Arthur:
Theo:
Isaac:
Arthur: And HOW do you kill someone with a banana, Dazai?
Dazai: Maybe the victim is allergic to it!
Isaac: Who is allergic to bananas?!
Dazai: Lots of people!
Theo: Name one!
Dazai:NO
Theo: Can I rub your belly?
MC, 8 months pregnant:Sure
Theo: Hey, Vincent Jr!
MC: We… haven’t decided on the name yet
Theo: Vincent is a good option
MC: Arthur is the father
Theo: As godfather I propose that Vicent is a good name
MC: …it’s a girl
Theo:Vincentia-
MC:No
“OUR NEWT”? You two were married all this time and you didn’t tell me?!
Ikemen as random scenes from Shrek
Arthur, with little Isaac in his arms: Oh yes, his mother just abandoned us and left us empty-handed -kisses his head- It would help us a lot if you gave us a coin to return hom-
Lady: Oh, you poor things. Here is a coin
MC: Ahem. Arthur, I just went to the store to buy a juice for Isaac… Why are you telling everyone that I abandoned you? We are not even his parents
Arthur: Umm…because I miss yo-
Little Isaac:Money!
Lil Isaac: I’m bored
Comte, with a lot of paperwork to do: Right, ummm…how about we play hide and seek? I count and you hide
Lil Isaac: Yes! You’ll never find me!
Comte:I’m counting on it
[5 hours later]
Lil Isaac, hidden: I must be very good at hiding
Ikevamp boys in a hotel
Room 1
Theo: Ugh, the bathroom smells really bad. William, was it yo-
Vincent: Oh, I’m sorry, my tummy hurt
Theo:
William: I don’t know which is funnier, the situation or that he is frozen in place looking for a way to blame me for this
Room 2
Dazai, sitting on the bed: It’s time
Isaac sleepily: What? Don’t tell me we’re late for the tour-
Dazai: It’s time -falls asleep again-
Isaac: Time for what?!
Arthur, throwing a pillow: Newt, will you shut up? Its 3 am
Isaac:B-but
Room 3
Leonardo: Buongiorno, ‘Le Comte’. How did you sleep?
Comte: I woke up many times in the night because someone was snoring too much
Leonardo: I don’t snore
Comte: I was about to cover your face with a pillow
Sebastian: You snore too, Le Comte. I daresay you two had a snoring competition last night…
MC: Hey Sebas-
Sebastian: -punches her in the stomach-
MC: What the fuck?!
Sebastian: You are one of my very best friends. And I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like this. You’re too young….YOU’RE TOO BEAUTIFUL!
MC: What the fuck are you talking about?
Sebastian: I’m talking about the baby that’s growing inside of your belly right now
Arthur: See ya! -leaves-
MC: …I’m not pregnant!
Sebastian: Well, not after that punch you’re not. I’ve been taking muay thai classes
MC: I was never pregnant, Sebastian!
Sebastian:What? Are… you sure?
MC: Yes I’m fucking sure!
Theo: I’m sorry, but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here?
Sebastian: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and—
Theo: -punches MC in the stomach-
MC: OW, MOTHERFU–
MC, blushing and nervous: Would you like to… -takes a deep breath- go out on a date?
Jean, in a Mozart wig:Ehmmm….
Jean:No
MC: Ugh, this is never going to work!
Arthur: Well… it’s not like Wolfie wouldn’t say that
Napoleon: Jean really got into character
Dazai: Top 10 actors who forgot they were acting
MC, irritated:You guys aren’t helping…
Comte:MC?-knocks the door- Dinner is ready. Hello?
[MC was in a spicy moment in her room]
MC, blushing:-gasp-It’s Le Comte!-pushes Arthur out of bed-
Arthur:What’s happen- oUcH!
MC:-grabbing her hair-What is he going to think when he sees me like this with one of his vampires?!
Arthur, naked on the ground:Uh…lucky vampire?
MC:…-incoherent screeches of annoyance-J-just dress up and go away!
Arthur:Luv, Le Comte is in the only way out, you know?
MC:…
Arthur:…
MC:-pushes him out the window-
Arthur: We already fed you and changed your diaper. What else do you want?! Just go to sleep!
MC’s baby:-cries-
Isaac: Maybe we should sing them something like a lullaby!
Theo, in a monotonous voice: Rock-a-bye, baby; on the treetop; when the wind blows; the cradle will rock! OH PLEASE GO TO SLEEP
MC’s Baby:-cries harder-
Arthur: This is not working!
Dazai: Obviously it’s because you’re not putting on a good show
Arthur, Theo, Isaac:…
[5 minutes later]
The four dressed and dancing as Backstreet Boys:Tell me why! Why don’t you want to sleep? Tell me why! If I already fed you! Tell me why! I never wanna hear you say: I don’t want to go to sleep!
MC’s baby:…?????-keeps crying-
Arthur: I ain’t ever seen all straight sibblings. One of them always gotta be gay
Theo, running to Vicent’s room: Are you gay?
Vicent, in William’s arms:No
Theo, closing the door:…
Arthur:
Theo:Am I- Am I the one who-? No! I-I’m pretty sure…I mean -looks at Arthur- …one of us is lying
[After Isaac tries to bite MC on her first night at the mansion]
Dazai: So what do we do?!
Arthur: There’s only one thing to do!
MC:Eh?!
Dazai:-holds MC with his arms-
Arthur: We have to enduce amnesia! -picks up a bat- Hold her!
Comte: That’s enough, you two. Leave assault and battery to the professionals…
Dazai: What are you, made of ice? How can you be so calm about this?!
Arthur: Look! Newt is so deep in shock he’s regressing!
Isaac:-hugging his knees and crying in a corner-
MC: How do we tell him?
Dazai: I know how
[In their imagination]
Dazai: Arthur! Say blue!
Arthur:Blue
Dazai: Your girlfriend cheats on you!
Arthur: -heart attack and dies-
MC: …that’s a horrible idea
Theo: What if we make him forget about her and notice other people?
Dazai:How?
[In their imagination, again]
MC: Hi babe~ -corners him on the wall- I know you’ve always wanted this…
Arthur, blushing:W-what?
MC: HEY! I’m not gonna do THAT!
Theo: Okay, okay, then…
[In their imagination ×3]
Theo: Hi babe~ -corners him on the wall- I know you’ve always wanted this…
Arthur, blushing:W-w-what?!
Dazai: Would you be willing to do it?
Theo: He’s my friend…
MC: Do you like Arthur?
Theo:No!
Dazai and MC: Then why do you wear a heart chain with an “A+T” engraved on it?
Theo: Shut up. “A” if for…art
