#incorrect greek quotes
Iliad init
Patroclus, at Achilles’ funeral: Can i have a moment alone with him?
Odysseus: Of course *leaves*
Patroclus, leaning over Achilles’ coffin: Now listen, I know you’re not dead.
Achilles: Yeah no shit
Odysseus: Hey, Patroclus, can you take out the trash?
Patroclus: I would, but you’re already outside.
Odysseus:
Patroclus: *high fives Achilles*
Patroclus: *completely serious* I have to get something off my chest…
Achilles:is it your shirt?? I hope its your shirt please
Patroclus: Just to be sure, are you asking me romantically or platonically?
Achilles, down on one knee, ring still out: You did not just fucking ask me that-
Odysseus:are you a cuddler?
Achilles: I AM A MACHINE OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION-
Patroclus: yeah he’s a cuddler.
the song of achilles: basically
patroclus: oh no he’s hot
achilles: omg mom you’re embarrassing me get out of my room it isNT A PHASE
thetis: [homophobic hissing]
chiron: i ship it
odysseus: pff dude same
Patroclus: you know, Penelope gives Odysseus flowers everyday. I wish you’d do that too
Achilles:okay
*the next day*
Achilles: *gives Odysseus flowers*
Odysseus:??????
Achilles: I don’t know. I’m confused aswell
Patroclus: hey what do you want for dinner tonight?
Achilles: your dick
Achilles: *pick sorry autocorrect sucks
Patroclus:
Patroclus:
Achilles:
Patroclus: Achilles this is a verbal conversation
*Patroclus and Achilles sleeping together in Pelion*
Achilles: night night, sleep tight, don’t let the fury outside the cave drag you down to Tartarus
Patroclus: thaT DOESN’T EVEN RHYME-
Omg i just relised we hit 200 followers and, uhhh, were currently at 260!! So heres a random art dump/shit post to celebrate a late 200/early 300! :D
Love all 260 of you patrochilles trash<33
Zeus, *to his siblings*: I’d die for you.
Hades: Then perish.
Hera: You will!?
Demeter: Please don’t.
Poseidon: Cool.
Hestia: I’d die for you first.
Demeter: *casually taking four stairs at a time*
Hestia, *falling behind, taking two stairs at a time*: Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-
Artemis: This bloodline ends with me.
Leto: That’s the fanciest way I’ve ever heard someone say “I’m gay”.
GODLY DESCRIPTIONS PT 2: HADES, ZEUS, AND POSEIDON
Hades: 7’3, neck length black hair with white streaks in it that covers his eyes, that is just his natural hair, red and black eyes, Pale skin, well muscled, godly attire, long black robes, black crown atop his head, shoeless, mortal attire is a black and dark blue suit or sweat pants and a white T-shirt, most noticeable scars are five long ones along his neck and shoulders, the tips of his fingers are also badly scared all the way to his first knuckle,has a single tattoo on his arm to symbolize his love for Persephone, it is four vines that go from his shoulders to the back of his hand, at the end of them are four beautiful black roses, has an industrial piercing in one ear, and a bajoran earring on the other.
Poseidon: 6’10, shoulder length black hair, that is usually kept in a ponytail, tan skin, sea green eyes, extended goatee, well muscled, has a lean frame, godly attire is a long gray tunic the edges are a bright blue, crown atop his head, no shoes, mortal attire is a sleeveless white shirt, with fishnets along his arms, and shorts, a golden necklace, seashell earrings, thick rings along his fingers, most noticeable scars are a single one from above his left eyebrow, across his nose ending at his cheek, a large burn on his lower back as well, has a dolphin tattoo along his collarbone, has an eyebrow piercing and his ears are pierced with bajoran rings, and a cartilage piercing.
Zeus: 6’9, short black hair, light stubble, lightning blue eyes, pale skin, light dusting of freckles, lean muscular frame, slight facial hair, godly attire is a long white robes embroidered with golden symbols, no shoes, crown atop his head, mortal attire is either a dark blue suit, or a white turtleneck, with a black overcoat, black pants, and shoes, four rings along his left hand, and his wedding ring on his right hand, has a sunflower earring from Persephone, most noticeable scars are four cuts along his chest, five little scars above his eye, has a lightning bolt tattoo from his right shoulder down to his left foot, a small heart on his wrist, that has him and Hera’s initials inside (Hebe picked it
Ares: IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!
Ares: SHOUT-OUT TO MY MOM FOR PUSHING ME OUT HER BU-DUSSY!!!!
Hera: …
Ares: SHOUT-OUT TO MY DAD, FOR PUTTING ME IN MY MOM’S BU-DUSSY!!!
Zeus: *dying of laughter*
Hermes: I was put on this earth to do one thing.
Hermes: …
Hermes: Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want!
Demeter,*to Zeus*: Oh we really gonna do this. BITCH! DIO, COME GET THIS BITCH!!!
Little Dionysus: *un inteligable blabbering*
Demeter: YEAH!!!
Zeus: …
Little Dionysus: *more un inteligable blabbering*
Demeter: UH HUH!!!
Zeus: …
Little Dionysus: *more aggressive un inteligable blabbering*
Demeter: MY BITCH SAID “YOU A UGLY WEAK ASS GRAY PIECE OF SHIT!!!”
Zeus: …
Persephone: I love you!
Aphrodite: I love you too. I’ve waited so long to hear you say that.
*Aphrodite and Persephone kiss passionately*
Demeter, *sitting across from them*: I guess that question is finally answered, and Hera owes me 20 Dollar’s
Hecate,*to Persephone*: Look at your mom such a dork, keeping bees.
Persephone: …
Hecate: I-I mean at least it’s interesting tho. At least like- I wish my mom kept bees.
Persephone: …
Hecate: I mean it’s kinda cute like … Your mom keeps bees.
Persephone: …
Hecate: … How old is your mom?
Persephone: …
Hecate: cause she’s obviously bee keeping age.
Persephone: …
Hecate: … I don’t know? I think it’s kinda sweet.
Persephone: …
Hecate: Persephone, I wanna F*** you mom-
Persephone,*sarcastically*: OH REALLY!?
