#incorrect sk8
Reki: Why are you on the floor?
Miya: I’m depressed.
Miya: Also I was stabbed, can you get Cherry, please.
Joe: I told Miya their ears go bright red when they lie.
Cherry: Why?
Joe: Look.
Joe: Hey Miya! Do you love us?
Miya, covering their ears: Absolutely Not.
Langa: “There’s something mysterious about seizures”
Reki: “I– no, it’s just that… i’m supposed to be the idiotic one in this relationship. Are you okay?”
Langa: “no chief.”
Reki:“understandable, have a fantastic day”
Cherry: *holding up a box of Lofthouse cookies* It’s that time of the year again, when stores sell these bottom-of-the-barrel, flavorless piece of shit things they have the nerve to call cookies.
Joe: I don’t know who hurt you or how bad… but I need you to take this negativity out elsewhere. These cookies are the backbone of this nation.
Langa: Hey ya’ll. So, I know I’m the new guy here, but I think I can speak for everyone when I say… I don’t know what the fuck is going on.
Miya:Agreed.
– Kaoru Sakurayashiki, at some point
reading thirst tweets with cherryjoe!
warning⚠️ slightly strong language. a bit suggestive, i guess?
cherry blossom:hello–
joe:–and welcome to buzzfeed thirs tweets!
cherry blossom: why did you interrupt me?
joe:i thought we were gonna do the thing where we finish each other’s sentences.
cherry blossom:never.
joe:but–
staff: just cut to the beginning. [que intro music]
##
cherry blossom: alright, first tweet is from redacted for professional purposes, i suppose.
cherry blossom:“wnna have cherry blossom’s long hair to choke me”
cherry blossom: as much as i’m honoured, but no one touches my hair. sorry. also you made a typo, just letting you know.
joe: same though.
cherry blossom: [death glares at joe] … moving on.
##
joe: second tweet is for me!
joe:“can joe just squeeze my head between his massive thighs”
joe: aw, that’s so sweet! my thighs are pretty big so i might crush you but i’m down.
cherry blossom: it’s because you’re a gorilla
joe: that’s not what you called me when you rode my–
cherry blossom:–cut the cameras! [cameras turn off] [joe’s high pitched scream echoes in the studio]
##
joe:[clears throat] wow, clearly i tired my throat with all the talking, huh?
cherry blossom: clearly.
joe: and next we have a tweet from another redacted name… wait there are blurred words.
staff: yeah, we had to blur some words. feel free to fill in the blanks.
joe:“do you ever just want joe to [redacted] [redacted] you with his massive [redacted] so bad that your [redacted] is set on fire and you just die happily?”
cherry blossom: … i don’t want to try filling in the blanks.
joe: for once, i agree with you.
##
cherry blossom: and for the next one we have, “want to taste cherry-sama’s cu–“
cherry blossom: –nope.nope.absolutely not. [throws paper away]
joe: what did it say?
cherry blossom: mind your business.
joe: four-eyed pink-haired short bitch.
cherry blossom: that insult made no sense, just like your entire existence.
joe:excuse me–
staff: –cut the cameras!
##
cherry blossom: and the next tweet says, “i would let joe and cherry blossom tag team me”
cherry blossom: tag team? [confused] like in wrestling?
joe:[holds in laugh]yeah, it’s exactly like in wrestling.
cherry blossom: oh… i don’t know why you’d want two skaters to wrestle you but sure. bring a friend so we’re on equal grounds. :)
joe:oh my god, i’m gonna die.
staff:[whispering] should we tell him?
##
joe: and for the final tweet, “joe looks at cherry blossom like he’s his entire world”
joe: aw, that’s very sweet. i guess it’s true.
cherry blossom: that’s so inaccurate.
joe: you just don’t accept my love.
cherry blossom: you called me a four-eyed pink bitch 30 minutes ago.
joe:that’s love!
cherry blossom:[deep sigh and face palm] oh god, why must you curse me withthisone?
joe: i think he loves me too. :D
##
joe:and that’s it for our interview today! thank you for the love and support.
cherry blossom: i still don’t know why someone wanted to wrestle us.
joe: i’ll tell you later, babe.
cherry blossom:alright–wait, what did you just call me? you little–
joe: [waving to the camera while covering kaoru’s mouth] goodbye, everyone!
Cherry: While I’m gone, Reki’s going to be in charge.
Reki:YES!
Cherry, to Miya: You’re secretly in charge.
Miya:Obviously.
Reki: Hey, you okay?
Miya, crying: Yeah, it’s just the onions.
Reki, pointing threateningly at the diced onions: What the FUCK did you say to him—
Joe: You’re offered $50,000, but if you accept, the person you hate most in the world gets $100,000– are you taking it?
Miya: Why would I miss out on a chance to get $150,000?
Joe: For self-defense reasons, I’m going to pretend to be a robber. You two have to act out what you would do.
Reki and Miya:[nodding]
Joe:Alright.
Joe: Give me all your money if you want to live!
Reki: Bold of you to assume I have money.
Miya: Bold of you to assume I want to live.
Joe:
Reki: Can you pass the salt?
Miya: Can you pass your classes?
Reki:
Reki: Not that much salt
Miya, pointing to a high shelf: Can you reach that for me?
Reki, tearing up: You need me in your life after all.
Miya: I could replace you with a step ladder.
Reki: Where were you when my meme only got four likes!?
Langa: Making four accounts, bro.
Reki:Bro…
Langa: How do I make a date really romantic?
Joe: Try being mysterious.
Langa: Got it.
[Later, on a date with Reki]
Reki: So, where are we going?
Langa: None of your fucking business.
Reki, trying to match-make Miya: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single?
Miya: No! Don’t do that!
Reki: You won’t even notice!
Someone, walking in: Hey, Miya, you wanted to see me?
Reki: He’s single.
Reki: Describe your life in less than ten words.
Miya: Not gonna last long.
Reki:
[Later, to everyone]
Reki: Yeah, so just keep Miya away from sharp objects and high places for a few days, okay thanks.
Someone: Say one more word and you’re dead!
Miya: One more word.
Someone:
Langa:
Reki:
Reki:*whispers to Langa* Should we run?
Reki: I told Miya his ears turn red when he lies and now I can tell if he’s really lying.
Langa: Huh? How?
Reki: Watch this
Reki: Miya, do you love us?
Miya, covering his ears:No!
Langa: I could cuddle with you 23/7.
Reki: Why not 24/7?
Langa: Snack breaks.
Reki: Fair enough.
Joe: Okay guys. I’m going to the store, you need anything?
Reki: My self-worth.
Miya: My will to live.
Langa: My mental stability.
Shadow: Some Oreos…You guys okay??
Flight attendant: Before we take off, please make sure all small items are secured.
Reki: [smiling and looking at Miya]
Miya:What?
Reki: Do you feel safe?
Miya: Fuck you.
Langa:If I punch myself and it hurts, am I too weak or too strong?
Shadow: You’re weak.
Reki: You’re strong?
Miya: Stupid. You’re just stupid.
Reki: What do you do when you see someone super hot?
Joe: I stare.
Joe: I smile.
Joe: Then I put down the mirror.
Langa’s mom:if someone made you jump off a cliff, would you?
Langa: *nervous laughter*
Reki: I have an idea!
Langa:You won’t get hurt, right?
Reki: I said an idea, not a miracle.
Adam, looking through his closet: Hm, Tadashi, what should I change into?
Tadashi, whispering: A better person.
