INTP’s First Day As a Barista

INTP: She just ordered a blueberry soda..? Do we even have those?

ENFP: Ummm, there’s a machine that can make soft drinks, but people rarely ask for them… so this will be my first time doing this. I guess you can watch me do it…

INTP: o_o

ENFP: *messes up machine*

INTP: *fixes machine*

ENFP: *carbonated water overflows cup*

INTP: *pours the carbonated water correctly*

ENFP: …

ENFP: Have people told you you’re smart before?

Meticulously Lazy

INTP: *using knife and fork to eat chicken wings*

INFJ: Ya know, I’ve never seen you pick it up with your hands. You’re really good with eating utensils. Even chopsticks.

INTP: Uh, is that weird? o.o

INTJ: Kinda, but why do you go through the extra work? lol

INTP: ‘Cause I don’t wanna wash my hands afterwards (:

INFJ:…

INTP: That’s it. I’m done. It’s over. 

ENFP: Aw what happened? 

INTP: I cannot fit anymore Hmong into my head. I’ve done all my allotted thinking for today. Nothing new can enter my brain.

ENFP: Wait, you started learning Hmong?? I thought you were learning Cantonese…

INTP: Yeah, but I decided I needed to add it for  c l o u t .  Also, why are there 56 possible consonant beginnings?

ENFP: Do I look like I speak it? XD. My parents are probably disappointed ._.;

INTP: It’s okay. I can just teach you when I’m done :^)

ENTP: I wanna host a birthday party somewhere ‘cause y’all’ve been such amazing friends. What is a cost minimizing, profit maximizing location to spend with my boys?

INTP: You don’t need money for a sleepover.

ENTP: But I wanna treat you guys to some great food :(

INTP: Getting pizza at 11pm is more fun than sitting in a restaurant. 

INFP: Pizza is enough for da homies. It’s about us hanging out.

ENTJ: So, when is the sleepover? 

ENTP::)

ESTP “Introvert”

INTP: Hey INFJ, you need to learn how to fake social skills. I can’t keep ordering food for you whenever we go out together.

INFJ: Of course you can. That’s why you still do it. Plus I just hate talking to people. 

ESTP: Bruh, I hate talking to people. People think I’m social but I’m really not.

INFJ: Huh? You, asocial?

ESTP: Yeah, I’m just loud as fuck. I don’t actually talk to anyone. 

INTP: …

INTP: I find myself responding to people in my head. I don’t always verbalize the result of my mental decision tree. Do other people do that?

INFP: That’s just you. You’re a robot.

INTP: I thought everyonewas a robot

INTP: Yo, I saw a girl that looks just like you.

ENFP: Oh really, was she cute?

INTP: Yes, you are cute.

ENFP: Hehe >:3