INTP’s First Day As a Barista

INTP: She just ordered a blueberry soda..? Do we even have those?

ENFP: Ummm, there’s a machine that can make soft drinks, but people rarely ask for them… so this will be my first time doing this. I guess you can watch me do it…

INTP: o_o

ENFP: *messes up machine*

INTP: *fixes machine*

ENFP: *carbonated water overflows cup*

INTP: *pours the carbonated water correctly*

ENFP: …

ENFP: Have people told you you’re smart before?

INFP: *sends a black image to gc*
INTP:?
ENTJ: All I see is darkness.
INTP: Is that the message lol
ENTJ: INFP always gotta be deep and poetic like that
INFP: No lol. I opened my new phone and there were like 9 black pictures on there. But then when I zoom in and out, it flashes the image for a sec. 
ENTJ: Ahhh, new phone glitches 
INTP: Or pocket pics

Meticulously Lazy

INTP: *using knife and fork to eat chicken wings*

INFJ: Ya know, I’ve never seen you pick it up with your hands. You’re really good with eating utensils. Even chopsticks.

INTP: Uh, is that weird? o.o

INTJ: Kinda, but why do you go through the extra work? lol

INTP: ‘Cause I don’t wanna wash my hands afterwards (:

INFJ:…

ENTP: I wanna host a birthday party somewhere ‘cause y’all’ve been such amazing friends. What is a cost minimizing, profit maximizing location to spend with my boys?

INTP: You don’t need money for a sleepover.

ENTP: But I wanna treat you guys to some great food :(

INTP: Getting pizza at 11pm is more fun than sitting in a restaurant. 

INFP: Pizza is enough for da homies. It’s about us hanging out.

ENTJ: So, when is the sleepover? 

ENTP::)

ESTP “Introvert”

INTP: Hey INFJ, you need to learn how to fake social skills. I can’t keep ordering food for you whenever we go out together.

INFJ: Of course you can. That’s why you still do it. Plus I just hate talking to people. 

ESTP: Bruh, I hate talking to people. People think I’m social but I’m really not.

INFJ: Huh? You, asocial?

ESTP: Yeah, I’m just loud as fuck. I don’t actually talk to anyone. 

INTP: …

INTP: I find myself responding to people in my head. I don’t always verbalize the result of my mental decision tree. Do other people do that?

INFP: That’s just you. You’re a robot.

INTP: I thought everyonewas a robot

ENFP: I love you uwu

INTP: You’re crazy lol

ENFP: But you’re also crazy for liking me. 

INTP: Why do we even like each other?

*Vsauce music starts playing*

INTJ: Thinking is honestly just a scam at this point. It’s a hoax perpetuated by the teachers to make us do work.

ENTP: I thought I explained to everyone that I don’t have a brain to “think” with. Did I not make it clear enough?

ESTP: So, what did you do for the holidays?

ESFP: I spent my winter break doing 4am shifts. We have to get there earlier than the other employees to do… stuff?

ESTP: Wtf? Bless your heart :(

INFP: Bruh that’s when I was going to bed O.o

INTP: Yo, I saw a girl that looks just like you.

ENFP: Oh really, was she cute?

INTP: Yes, you are cute.

ENFP: Hehe >:3

INTJ: You know, maybe if I open up to someone, it won’t be so bad. Getting someone else’s insight on my emotions might be helpful, and possibly healthy. I’m going to go vent about the current inner turmoil I’m experiencing.

*Later, when INTJ has finished writing an essay on what’s going on in their head*

INTJ: And so that’s why I think I’m feeling this way.

Person: *either says “oof” or never responds*

INTJ:…

INTJ: Welp, that was useless.