#meyers briggs
Si: these shoes cost $12, I haven’t seen a deal like that since I went to Ross’s 3 months ago.
Ni: these shoes were like, $10 or something. It was a great deal! Too bad I can’t remember where I got them…
INTP’s First Day As a Barista
INTP: She just ordered a blueberry soda..? Do we even have those?
ENFP: Ummm, there’s a machine that can make soft drinks, but people rarely ask for them… so this will be my first time doing this. I guess you can watch me do it…
INTP: o_o
ENFP: *messes up machine*
INTP: *fixes machine*
ENFP: *carbonated water overflows cup*
INTP: *pours the carbonated water correctly*
ENFP: …
ENFP: Have people told you you’re smart before?
Fe aspirational sucks
Meticulously Lazy
INTP: *using knife and fork to eat chicken wings*
INFJ: Ya know, I’ve never seen you pick it up with your hands. You’re really good with eating utensils. Even chopsticks.
INTP: Uh, is that weird? o.o
INTJ: Kinda, but why do you go through the extra work? lol
INTP: ‘Cause I don’t wanna wash my hands afterwards (:
INFJ:…
INTP: That’s it. I’m done. It’s over.
ENFP: Aw what happened?
INTP: I cannot fit anymore Hmong into my head. I’ve done all my allotted thinking for today. Nothing new can enter my brain.
ENFP: Wait, you started learning Hmong?? I thought you were learning Cantonese…
INTP: Yeah, but I decided I needed to add it for c l o u t . Also, why are there 56 possible consonant beginnings?
ENFP: Do I look like I speak it? XD. My parents are probably disappointed ._.;
INTP: It’s okay. I can just teach you when I’m done :^)
Dear INTP, I love how low-maintenance you are. We can converse like there wasn’t just a two month gap in our exchanges.
Our experiences are crystallized into Si-child. There’s no need to reform a connection when we understand who you are. Our understanding is our identity. You’ve become a part of us.
To the people who say to combat the fear of public speaking by picturing everyone naked:
WALKING INTO A ROOM OF NAKED PEOPLE IS LITERALLY ONE OF MY WORST NIGHTMARES
HOW DOES THAT MAKE IT BETTER?!????
I would rather do public speaking
captainiwasntreadyforconcrete:
captainiwasntreadyforconcrete:
INTP: I can’t wait for cooler weather when I can break out my sweaters.
INTP: *gazes longingly at their fall clothes which consist entirely of oversized grey sweaters*
INTP: fall is truly for fashion
INTP: I can’t wait for warmer weather when I can break out my summer wardrobe
INTP: *gazes longingly at pile of black oversized t-shirts*
INTP: summer is truly for fashion
It is rather concerning so many of you relate to this because there is a definitely a correlation between the number of black sweaters you own and your need for therapy
Things on my dad’s bookshelf that just make sense:
My depression has been being a real jerk recently but then I remembered it’s now 13 years old. The poor thing is a teenager and I never told it about puberty. Now I am the jerk.
Person: do you even have friends?
INTP: wow, harsh. I will have you know I still occasionally text two people I knew in college, thank you
captainiwasntreadyforconcrete:
Professor: hey! How are you doing?!??
INTP: oh ya know, the usual. Gradually losing my mind.
Professor: hun, you know I love you like a daughter, but you should know you lost that years ago
Professor: *looks INTP up and down and sees rose quartz necklace*
Professor: you know rose quartz is supposed to attract love
INTP: that’s cool Professor
Professor: I think you are going to need some bigger stones. That one isn’t working
INTP: my personality cancels out the quartz
Professor: hey! How are you doing?!??
INTP: oh ya know, the usual. Gradually losing my mind.
Professor: hun, you know I love you like a daughter, but you should know you lost that years ago
*ENTP and ESFJ watching little girl hit the ground with a stick*
ENTP: that girl is yeeting that dirt
ESFJ: …you can’t yeet the ground it can’t move
ENTP: yeet is meaningless. It must conform to the context. Just like us
ESFJ:
ESFJ:
ESFJ: yeet implies movement
When I was 13 I was making breakfast on a gas stove and caught a hot pad on fire. After standing there looking at the flaming hot pad in my hand, I dumped it in the sink setting off a plume of steam and smoke…just as my dad walked in.
He poured a cup of coffee, took a sip, nodded, and left.
Coworker *eying INTP making coffee at 9:00 PM with concern*
Coworker: just how much caffeine does it take to run an INTP?
INTP: a lot. I am not a very fuel efficient model
INTP: well, now that I work nights I am no longer a “normal person”
Friend:…um…you have never been a normal person???
INTP: I can’t wait for cooler weather when I can break out my sweaters.
INTP: *gazes longingly at their fall clothes which consist entirely of oversized grey sweaters*
INTP: fall is truly for fashion
Coworker: you are so awkward there is literally no way you aren’t the main character
INTP:…uh….thanks?
INTP: I am thinking about being emo
ENTP: you….
ENTP: you still listen to My Chemical Romance
ENTP: pretty sure you are already Emo
INTP: …well then I definitely need some cooler clothes
INTP: hey quick question. I accidentally turned on “feeling” how do I switch it off? It’s getting depressing.
ENTP: tragically, once you open that jar you can never put the lid back on and it stinks
INFJ: first off guys, mixed metaphors. Gotta work on that
Mom: you should have dated him. He literally told me that he liked you because you weren’t like other girls
INTP: you are aware that is not an uncommon comment I get on my life, right?
Sometimes I scroll through my posts and I am like, man am I funny. Depressed, but funny
Dude: can I have your number?
INTP *loud buffering noise*
Dude: ?
INTPs be like, yes I need all 70 of these tabs. No I don’t remember what they all are I just know they are there for a very specific rabbit trail I wanna go down
INFJ: see like, I am always going to pick the individual over the whole. If INTP murdered a bunch of people I wouldn’t turn them in. Besides, if you were driven to murder they probably deserved it.
INTP: I am flattered but mildly concerned
