Ok so since the cancellation we have won 2 tcas, 4 (fucking 4!!) PCAs, Harry won 2018s bisexual representation award…wtf floppy fool. Y'all really just decided to shoot yourself in the face so you could push out more crappy new shows that you’ll cancel after the first 2 seasons anyways. Go choke.
Ya girls back again. I want to say first off that I am so proud of the Shadowfam! We have done so much and are killing it So keep it up! Next I just want to post this as reminder. First) please do not drag other FF fandoms into our campaign their show has nothing to do with saving our show nor is it their fault we are in this situation. Untag the actors etc when replying to whatever Floppy foam posts, they are just trying to work and don’t need us coming at them when they have nothing to do with this. B) please PLEASE ignore the haters and troll twitters etc. Our fandom has been about getting our show back and doing some good in the world NOT spreading hate or dragging other people. If you see something you dont agree with or its malicious report and block. People engaging in these fights is bringing down the fandoms reputation as a whole and no network wants problematic fans. We need to be putting our best foot forward. I have a damn good time dragging floppy but I try to keep it to just them and when I see trolls I just ignore them. Its difficult but it needs to be done. I am so proud of us as a whole. We have done and are continuing to do what other fandoms haven’t so lets keep it going and if positivity isn’t doing it for you…do it out of spite. If they thought we were going to roll over and let this happen they thought wrong. We will prove them wrong. If you need a break Tweet deck is a magical thing I use it for my multiple accounts and live tweet from one. We got this fam. Take a break of ya need to, pet a puppy, get some sun, read, whatever floats your boat keep on keepin’ on ❤️
And she’s back! Alright. I am irritated and I know I am not the only one. The lies are spreading and now have gotten CC involved. I want to say that I haven’t seen anyone say they are going to boycott her books because the show was cancelled. Have I seen people state other reasons before? Yes but not during this fight to save our show. For someone to go and tell her this is just ridiculous, when from everything I have seen it is untrue. I have only seen people say they were going to boycott FF not her.And even if they did, it was obviously a small group of people and to villianise an entire fandom because of a select few is wrong. To make up lies and false accusations is wrong. Now I don’t care if you like the books, just the show, or both, it shouldn’t matter. NO ONE should be attacking anyone over something like this. They are books and a show. If you love one but not the other, thats fine, but it does NOT give you license to attack or belittle someone that loves either or both. If you love the books but not the person behind them thats fine too. Its called PERSONAL PREFFERENCE for a reason. In a world full of so much hate do you really want to spread more? What pleasure do you get out of attacking someone online for something that isn’t hurting anyone? Am I saying all show stans are awesome and great? No. There are ALWAYS people that like to argue or attack others so I am in no way saying that all show stans are perfect. I don’t lump all book stans together for this same reason, some are great and others are needlessly attacking us and spreading lies and hate. What I am saying is that this whole situation is ridiculous. Ignore us and we’ll ignore you. It was ridiculously low going to the author and saying these untrue things and making the whole show fandom sound like horrible human beings.We havent been talking or thinking about the books and when I have seen anyone say anything it’s always been in anticipation of her new books. We are just trying to save something we love. Even if someone doesn’t like CC that is THEIR PREFERENCE. Stay in your lane and we will stay in ours. And if any book fans see this, please know that there is not any planned boycotting of the books bc of the show going on. You can ask any of the big accounts that keep an eye on the tags. We have had the BBS (bad book stans) making fake accounts and attacking us for no reason all of a sudden and I am just so tired of the hate. Thanks for reading my novel of a rant and I hope you have a great day.
Alright I’m back with another post. Now I know tensions are high but guys stop interacting with the bad book stans. All they want to do is spread hate and get us mad and it’s working. We are better than that. Let them bitch and moan and say what they want. They are doing it because they are petty and hate how much we love the SHOW. Show them with even more tweets and emails. Channel that anger and frustration and put it towards saving our show and proving them wrong that way. Trying to say anything to them or giving them facts don’t matter to them because they don’t care if they are wrong they just want to argue. All you will be doing is firing them up more bc they are getting a rise out of you. Trust me, I want to say things as well but we need to stay focused. And what better way to say “fuck you” then to get our show, that they hate, back? We are fighting for something that means a lot to us and we need to stay focused on that. All they want is attention don’t give it to them! Don’t feed the mogwai it only turns em into gremlins. We got this.
Track Three: This night ain’t for the faint of heart.
Rating:E 18+ (scenes of a sexual nature ~ canon typical violence ~ rated E for latter chapters)
Pairings: Simon Lewis x Jace (insert chosen last name here) / minor Alec Lightwood x Magnus Bane / minor Simon Lewis x others)
Chapter summary: Jace is determined to prove to himself and everyone else that he doesn’t need Simon to have fun and he’s doing just that until life throws him yet another curveball and Jace finds out that band practice isn’t what he thought it was.
Jace swept his eyes across the room as he strode through the door, the soldier in him instantly checking for threats and making sure there were viable escape routes in case it came down him needing to make a quick exit. Not that he thought he would. Jace just wanted a drink to help drown out the realization of how boring and pathetic his life had become.
It wasn’t that busy but Jace hadn’t expected it to be considering it was the middle of the week but that was fine, he wasn’t really looking to interact with anyone and less people meant he was les likely to be bothered. There were a couple of werewolves playing pool, a lone vampire at the bar nursing a pint of blood and what Jace suspected to be a warlock and sorceress whispering at the table just to his right. In the far corner, half hidden in shadows there was what appeared to be another vampire getting rather cozy with a couple of seelie’s. Not that Jace could see much considering how the seelie’s were seated, one on either side of the vampire and leaning into his space. Jace could just make out the guys chest and a tuft of dark hair sticking up above the seelie’s long white blonde hair as they exchanged kisses.
Jace quickly moved his gaze on, wanting to give the others some privacy, well that and he didn’t want to be reminded of a certain vampire he wanted to get cozy with. Jace had half hoped that maybe there would have been someone for him to charm into his bed, a willing beauty that could help take his mind off Simon, if only for one night but it seemed the angels were not on his side and Jace had to resign himself to a night sat at the bar and irritating Maia until she undoubtedly kicked him out. It was probably for the best. The last time he had tried to pick someone up Jace had gotten as far as heavily making out down a back alley but it hadn’t felt right, Jace not into it at all and he had ended up sending the vampire off with an apology and a half asked ‘it’s not you it’s me’. He had been lucky she had been so understanding because after leading her on like that he definitely had deserved a slap at least.
Slipping into one of the stalls Jace didn’t have to wait long before Maia was striding towards him, looking equal parts bored and annoyed. “Oh yay, your here,” she deadpanned, crossing her arms over her chest as she came to a stop in front of him. Jace smirked, leaning forward on his elbows and looked up at her through his lashes. “I know, my presence is just that amazing but please, try and resist the magnetic pull of my charm and dashing good looks.” Maia’s scowl deepened, her eyes narrowing and lips pursing. Jace just kept smirking, wiggling his eyebrows at her until she huffed, and rolling her eyes at him. Her ridged posture eased, her arms falling to her side and an almost fond smile tugging at her lips. “I’m sure I’ll manage.” She turned her back on Jace as she spoke, ducking down to grab a bottle of beer out of the fridge behind her.
A year or so ago Jace’s eyes would have dropped down to her ass, watching the way her denim skirt rode up the back of her thighs slightly but his eyes didn’t stray from the back of her head. They had developed a friendship, one that was mostly Jace flirting badly and Maia insulting him but it was a friendship none the less. “Try all you want but we both know I’m irresistible.” Jace winked as she turned back round but all he got was another exasperated look, Maia popping the cap off the bottle and placing it down on the counter in front of him. He snatched it up almost instantly, taking a long drag of it and moaning softly at the bitter taste.
Jace didn’t drink as much as he used to and when he did it tended to be beer with a low alcohol content and even then it was only a bottle or two. He had heard Simon talk about his mum’s addiction enough to know what the signs were and the pained look on the vampires face every time Jace just kept drinking was enough to have him realizing that if he carried on he would develop a problem that could fuck with his life in ways he didn’t want. That didn’t stop him from enjoying a drink every now and then though but it kept him aware enough that getting black out drunk would not solve his problems, would just make them go away for a little while before they came back full force and left him feeling even more shitty.
“The only thing you’re irresistible to is herpes,” Maia grumbled. Jace ignored her. He was getting good at that, ignoring the things he didn’t want to see or hear until they went away. The only thing it didn’t seem to be working on was Simon because no matter how hard he tried Jace just couldn’t seem to stop wanting things he had no right to be wanting. Ignoring it wasn’t working and Jace could only hope that putting some distance between them would resolve it. He couldn’t help but wonder if Simon had felt like this all those years he had spent mooning over Clary, unable to walk away even though he knew it would probably have been for the best. Not that Jace was mooning over Simon, nope, no way, well not unless you counted the amount of time Jace spent looking at Simon’s ass but that wasn’t the same thing. Jace wasn’t in love with Simon like the brunette had been with Clary. Jace was in lust and he blamed his lack of a sex life on his fixation as well as the amount of time they spent together.
“So why are you here?” Maia’s snarky voice snapped Jace out of his stupor and he looked up from where his gaze had fallen to the counter, Jace not having even realized he was frowning down at the scratched and stained surface. “It’s your stunning personality and winning smile. I just couldn’t stay away,” Jace smirked, leaning forward slightly and tipping his head to the side, letting his bangs fall forward. He was deflecting and they both knew it. Jace could only hope she would take the hint but of course he wouldn’t be that lucky.
Maia scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest again and looked down at Jace with amusement, a knowing smirk pulling up the corner of her mouth. “Sure, and it has nothing to do with Simon ditching you again.” Jace’s smile fell and he jerked back in his seat. “Simon didn’t ditch me,” he snapped, his grip tightening on his beer as annoyance sank in and he glared back at her. There was no ditching, they were both adults with their own lives outside of each other. They didn’t have to spend every second of every day together and Jace would really like for people to just stop trying to push him and Simon into something they just weren’t and would never be.
Maia’s eyes flicked up, looking over Jace’s shoulder. She scrunched up her nose slightly, pulling the same face she did when Simon and Clary used to be overly affectionate to each other. “Sure looks like he’s ditched you.” She wasn’t looking at him as she spoke, her eyes still stuck somewhere behind Jace and voice distracted. If he had to guess Jace would assume she was looking at the seelie’s and unfortunate vampire stuck between them. They were probably getting a bit to handsy, Maia trying to decide if she should kick them out or not. Jace said let them go at it, at this rate watching a threesome between two seelie’s and a vampire was probably the closest he was going to get to actual sex any time soon. At least someone was getting lucky, instead of the sad and pathetic wanks that seemed to be the only thing Jace was going to get until he got past his infatuation with Simon bloody Lewis.
“Well he didn’t,” Jace snapped, any calm he had built up on the walk over from the institute was now completely gone. He felt on edge, angry and ready for at least an argument if not a fight. He hated how riled up he got when it came to all things Simon, how easy it was to get under his skin with just the mention of the vampire. “Uh huh. So why are you here and he’s ov…” Jace cut her off, the glass creaking slightly as his grip tightened. “Simon had band practice and I wanted a drink. We are allowed to do things on our own.” This wasn’t how he had wanted to spend his evening. He had wanted to get away from Simon’s ever looming presence, not defend his reasons for not having the vampire with him.
“Is that what he’s calling it,” she mumbled, her attention still firmly fixed on what was happening behind him and only half paying attention to their conversation. “What are you even looking at?” He grumbled, already turning in his seat and craning his head round to look behind him. Jace caught a glimpse of fluffy brown hair as the vampire ducked down to mouth at an exposed neck before a loud bang came from the other end of the bar and Jace snapped his head back round, startled by the sudden nose.
The vampire at the other end of the bar banged his empty glass on the table before lifting it and waiving it towards them. He looked completely out of it, eyes hazy and clothes rumpled. He looked like he should have been cut off at least two drinks ago and by the resigned look Maia is wearing Jace assumes that was what was about to happen. “Want me to throw him out?” he offered, knowing full well that she didn’t need his help. “I’ve got it.” Maia drew herself up to her full height, head held high and stalked down the bar towards the annoyed looking blood sucker.
Smirking Jace turned away, staring at the empty glasses and half filled bottles along the wall as he took another swig of his beer. He sat in silence for a while, sipping his drink and staring unseeingly ahead of him, just listening to the gentle murmur of the bar around him. For a while it worked, Jace’s mind blissfully blank but soon enough his fingers started to twitch. Jace had never been good at doing nothing, always the one for action and even just sitting at the bar was proving difficult. It wouldn’t have been a problem if someone else was there to keep him company, a constant stream of chatter and engagement that would keep Jace from thinking about every moment of his life that had led up to this point. Sitting alone and drinking cheep beer had probably not been the best idea.
Placing his mostly empty bottle down Jace fished his phone out of his pocket in the hopes of finding something to distract him. Simon had installed a couple of games for him, as well as having shown Jace the joys and horrors of YouTube, though Jace didn’t quite get some of the stuff Simon had shown him on there he did enjoy watching the weapon crafting videos as well as ones on combat and cute puppies. There had to be something he could find to pass the time until Maia came back for him to irritate.
Unlocking his phone though reminded Jace that he hadn’t bothered to close down his messages and he was greeted with his last few exchanges with Simon. Because he was a glutton for punishment Jace started to scroll back, re-reading his exchanges with the vampire. Mostly it was stupid stuff, the two of them exchanging small talk or arranging where they would meet and what to do. Sometimes they spoke about the down world and shadowhunters and sometimes they passed on their fears and doubts, the things they still struggled with and the other would listen, offering up understanding and advice when needed.
Throughout all that though was the teasing, their friendly banter and gentle ribbing still there but between all that there was something else. It was in Jace’s nature to be slightly suggestive and charming, flirting with almost everyone and he was used to everyone just rolling their eyes at him and getting on with it but at some point shy dorky Simon had flirted back as if it was normal and everything had just gotten weird after that.
It had been after he had had his little epiphany, Jace seemingly unable to not hit on Simon now he had realized how into him he was. It just became another part of their relationship and it was driving Jace crazy. He knew Simon only did it for fun, always smiling and laughing as Jace called him baby and in return Simon called him angel boy. Maybe he would have gotten over his little infatuation already if Simon had been the same as everyone else, scoffing and rolling his eyes and just ignoring the fact Jace had called him pretty or had made comments like earlier on whilst training, implying something sexual. Simon didn’t though and though Jace knew it didn’t mean anything for him, he couldn’t help the little thrill of excitement that shot through him every time Simon paid him the kind of attention he craved from the vampire.
It was pathetic, he was pathetic. Clinging onto those moments where he could pretend that after the flirting and the teasing winks he would be able to follow it all up with light touches and demanding kisses. By the angel what was wrong with him? He had never used to be like this, not till Clary had come barging into his life and ripped down all his carefully crafted defenses. He was going soft and that only led to people getting hurt or worse and Jace really didn’t think he could live through loosing someone else, not so soon after Clary.
Another bottle of beer being put down in front of him startles Jace out of the dark places his mind was beginning to wander to and he looks up to find Maia looking down at him with concern, even if she was trying to cover it up with annoyance. “Could you not do that-” Maia waved her hand in front of Jace’s face, “here, you’re scaring the customers away.” Jace arched an eyebrow at her as he pointedly glanced around him at the still mostly empty bar. His brooding, as Simon called it, wasn’t scaring anyone off as there wasn’t anyone there to begin with.
Maia huffed, rolling her eyes at him. “Stop pining like some sort of kicked puppy. It’s pathetic and weird.” Jace scowled, finishing off his beer and then starting in the other one, hoping to chase away one bitter taste with the other. “I’m not pining,” he gritted out. They needed to stop with this pining bullshit or Jace was going to punch something.
Maia scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest and looking down at Jace like he was an idiot. He was sure her and Izzy practiced that look together, giving the other tips on the best way to look both bored and annoyed at the same time as well as a little condescending. “If you didn’t want to see him getting all cozy with the stepford twins then why did you even bother coming here?” Jace looked back at her dumbly. He didn’t understand her reference and had no idea what she was talking about. He knew she must be taking about Simon but he hadn’t seen the other man with anyone else in the last couple of months, let alone twins. No, if Simon was in a relationship Jace would know about it, the vampire couldn’t keep a secret even if he tried and there was no way he wouldn’t have told Jace the moment he started seeing someone. Simon told him everything and he wouldn’t keep something like that from him.
“What are you even on about?” Jace snapped, confused and feeling angry that Maia may know something about Simon that he didn’t. Huffing she rolled her eyes, uncrossing her arms to point behind Jace. Frowning he turned, following Maria’s outstretched arm until he was looking at the table in the far corner. He sucked in a breath, eyes going wide as the world around him seemed to stop.
The seelie’s had moved, sitting back and sipping at their drinks. Now that they were facing forward Jace could clearly see that one of them was a guy, his shirt open to expose his chest and his long silky hair cascading over his shoulder. Both were beautiful, with sharp features and stunning blue eyes, the women’s own white blonde hair lightly curled and draped across her shoulders. Separately they were stunning, together they were mesmerizing but Jace’s attention was stuck elsewhere because in the middle, smirking confidently and eyes practically sparkling sat Simon, his attention completely focused on the man as he spoke.
“It’s the second time this week he’s been here, though Monday it was with some vampire. Girl was weird looking, face full of metal and dressed like she was going to a funeral. He seemed pretty into though. Had to threaten to kick them out when it looked like they were going to start fucking right on the table.” Maia was talking but Jace was struggling to understand the words coming out of her mouth because if what she was saying was true then that meant Jace had been wrong, so very, very wrong. No, this had to be some kind of hallucination or someone wearing a glamour to look like the vampire because there was no way that was Simon, tipping his head to the side and giving the woman space to start kissing up his neck, her hands sliding up under his crimson shirt. That wasn’t Simon letting the man curl his long delicate looking fingers under his chin and tip his head back before claiming his lips in a slow and sensual kiss.
It was like a car crash, Jace unable to look away even as bile rose in his throat and his stomach twisted into knots. He couldn’t help but watch Simon’s mouth move against the other mans, the way his eyelashes fluttered as he closed his eyes or the way he tipped his head back and just gave up any semblances of control. Simon’s hand disappeared under the table, the muscles in his arm flexing slightly and then the seelie was pulling back, eyes still closed and lips parted on a gasp. Simon’s eyes were dark when he opened them, a wicked smirk on his lips as his arm moved again. It didn’t take a genius to work out where Simon’s hand was or what he was doing with it. That knot tightened in Jace’s stomach, his heart pounding away and his palms begging to sweat.
The seelie ducked forward, Simon turning his head to give him access to the other side of his neck. He and the women slid their hands down, both disappearing under the table and Simon threw his head back on an audible moan even from across the room. Simon’s lips parted, his fangs just visible as his tongue poked out to wet at his lips, his eyes falling shut once more as he just let them do what they pleased to him. Jace sucked in a breath, his heart skipping a beat as he mirrored the action, his mouth suddenly dry. In his imagination it was him and Simon, Jace straddling his thighs and grinding down as he licked and sucked his way across Simon’s exposed neck. Jace’s blood rushed south, his dick hardening even as anger and jealousy clawed at his throat.
He wanted to go over there and shove the seelie’s off of him, wanted to slide into Simon’s lap and show him that he didn’t need anyone else other than Jace. He wanted to demand his attention, make it impossible for Simon to look anywhere but at him. He wanted those cold hands on him, Simon’s lips pressed against his and Jace’s name on his lips like a prayer. He wanted Simon, in every way imaginable and he wanted Simon to want him back. Just him.
Simon’s eye fluttered open, like he could feel Jace watching him. His eyes were dark and hooded, full of hunger and desire and like they had been pulled by magnets they instantly found Jace’s, their gaze locking. Simon sucked in an unneeded breath, his tongue flicking teasingly against one of his fangs and Jace’s heart stuttered.
He quickly spun back round, snatching up his beer and downing half of it in one go. He felt sick, his skin tingling but not in a good way. It was almost like it was too tight, stretched across his muscles and threatening to snap at any moment. “Maybe you should stop and breathe before you drown yourself.” Jace darted his eyes up to Maia, glaring as he continued to gulp down his drink. He would be so lucky to drown, maybe then he wouldn’t have the image of Simon throwing his head back and moaning for someone else on a constant loop in his head.
Sighing Maia darted her gaze away, looking awkward and uncomfortable and Jace couldn’t blame her. He was falling apart, his jealousy and nausea slowly getting consumed by his anger, both at himself and Simon, though it was more geared towards Simon at the moment. “I thought you knew, he hadn’t exactly kept it quiet.” Jace scoffed. He didn’t know what hurt more, that he had completely misjudged the kind of person Simon was or that he had lied to Jace about it. No that was definitely what hurt more. Jace could take Simon having a fling or two, taking others into his bed for a little relief, it would be hypocritical of Jace to judge him for that when he had been just as bad once upon a time. He would have been disappointed sure, but he would have dealt with it like an adult. No what he couldn’t stomach was the vampire lying to him about it.
He had out right lied to Jace about his plans, not even batting an eyelid as it slipped past his lips and Jace hadn’t suspected a thing. Simon had never used to be that good at lying, becoming flustered and rambling as he tried to cover his tracks but somewhere along the line he had developed an aptitude for it and if he could lie about this then what else could he have lied about? Maybe he had lied about the downworlder cabinet meeting he went to the other month or the reason why he had been late to training last week or maybe he had lied about ever having liked Jace in the first place and the friendship he put so much time and effort into was just a sham.
Jace tensed as someone came up bedside him, three empty glasses being placed down on the counter almost soundlessly. He knew who it was without even having to look, could tell from the way his body began to tingle like he was sat next to an electrical field. “Thanks Maia,” Simon mumbled, his voice hesitant and full of false cheer. She huffed, rolling her eyes before snatching the glasses up and walking away, leaving them alone. An awkward silence fell between them, the kind that hadn’t been there since Simon had drunk his blood for the first time. Jace hated it, wanted to just get up and leave or call Maia back so he wouldn’t have to deal with this. Not now, not ever.
“Band practice huh?” Jace gritted out. He sounded as angry as he felt, his grip tightening on his beer as he quickly took another swig in an attempt to stop himself from turning to the brunette and demanding he explain what the hell was going on. “Erm yeah,” Simon laughed nervously and Jace just knew he had lifted his hand to rub at the back of his neck, head tipped forward and looking all shy and coy, like he was the most innocent thing around when in reality he was anything but. “Book club was taken.” Jace huffed humorously, about to tell Simon that if he wanted to join book club so badly Jace would have given him a life time membership, a bloody VIP pass that granted him full access but the words died in his mouth, the implications of what Simon had said sinking in like a shard of ice to the gut.
Simon had been going to band practice for months, disappearing for a few hours or sometimes the whole night at least once every week. Jace had teased him for it, claiming the band was rubbish because they hadn’t landed a gig but Simon had just laughed it off, making some remark about Jace not recognizing good music if it slapped him in the face before moving the conversation on. Jace had thought it was just Simon being modest or just playing for the fun for once but that hadn’t been it at all. In reality he was using it to hide his x-rated activities just like Jace had used book club but unlike Jace he had gotten away with it because no one would suspect sweet, innocent and all around good guy Simon of being the kind of guy to fuck and run.
Fuck. How stupid had he been, longing for a guy who he had convinced himself just wasn’t the type to do casual when in reality he just didn’t want to do casual with Jace.
“Look Jace I’m…” He didn’t give Simon a chance to try and justify his actions, turning in his seat to finally look at the vampire. He looked good, the crimson shirt formfitting but not to tight, the top couple of buttons undone to expose his collarbone. His hair was a fluffy mess from where fingers had been running through it and his rich chocolate eyes were dark, the remains of his arousal and hunger still clinging to them. Jace’s gut twisted, those knots getting impossibly tighter. Jace needed him gone before he did something stupid like hit him or pull him into a demanding kiss. Neither one would probably end well.
“I really couldn’t care less Simon.” The lie slipped easily from between his lips, Jace trying for a bored look though he was sure his eyes probably betrayed him, showing his anger and hurt as clearly as if Jace had spelled it out for him. Simon’s brows furrowed, a frown tugging at his lips and what looked like hurt and disappointment flashing through his eyes. “Right,” Simon mumbled, his eyes darting off to the side. He looked like a kicked puppy or like Jace had just told him comic con had been cancelled. He was being mean, lashing out to try and hide his own pain and foolishness. Sure Simon had kept things from him but people were allowed secrets. Simon didn’t owe him the truth and Jace needed to stop acting like one off those crazy ex’s who seemed to think they had some sort of right to dictate their ex’s life.
It hurt though, the realization that Simon didn’t want him, not in that way anyway. He had convinced himself the only reason he and Simon hadn’t slept together was Simon’s pathological need to be in a relationship but in the end it was simply because Simon didn’t see Jace like that and why should he? Jace hadn’t been nice to him, not at the beginning any way and those kind of impressions stay with you. He was lucky Simon even saw him as a friend if he was being honest, was lucky to have Simon in any way and he needed take what he was given and move on if he wanted to keep the vampire around.
Sighing Jace’s shoulder slumped. He felt tired all of a sudden, all the anger and pain draining from him. Knocking back the last of his beer Jace stood up, the action putting him a lot closer to Simon than he had thought it would. Those doe eyes went wide, Simon tipping his head back just ever so slightly to look up at Jace. He wanted to lean in, curl one hand around Simon’s waist and bury the other in his hair and kiss the man senseless. He couldn’t though, his advances weren’t wanted and Simon already had someone to pass the night with.
He felt trapped though, stuck in Simon’s dark eyes and being pulled in. It was like magic, like Simon was using encanto on him to keep him there. Jace wouldn’t mind that, would go willingly if it got him what he wanted and wasn’t that a dangerous thought, a shadowhunter so willing to be enthralled just for a chance to be close to the other man. “Your adoring fans are waiting.” Maia’s curt voice cut through the heavy silence that had fallen between them and Jace hastily took a step back to put some much needed distance between them. He avoided the knowing smirk Maia was giving them, her hands braced on the counter and watching them like they were one of those trashy reality shows she and Izzy liked so much.
Simon swallowed, his tongue darting out to lick at his lips and Jace would bet money on the fact he would be blushing if he still could. Jace liked getting him flustered, missed how easy it had used to be when he was still human and fumbling. Jace really should have slept with him then, just so he could have see how far down the blush went. Trying to distract himself from his own twisted mind Jace looked away from Simon and across the bar. That had been a mistake.
His eyes instantly landed on the two seelie stood by the door, their heads turned into toward the other as they whispered. Their eyes were locked on Simon though, sapphire blue eyes practically sparkling with mischief. From the way a smile began to stretch across Simon’s lips, his eyes getting impossibly darker, the vampire was listening to them and whatever filth was falling from their lips. Jealousy shot through Jace, annoyed at the fact that he couldn’t even keep Simon’s attention when he was stood right next to him.
“Didn’t know you had it in you mundie,” Jace mocked, turning back round to lean on the bar. He motioned to Maia for another beer and thankfully she kept her mouth shut, only glaring at him as she went to get his next drink. Out the corner of his eye he saw Simon turn to frown at him, the brief flash of confusion and hurt in his eyes enough to to have Jace cursing himself and his incapability to keep his own feelings in check but he was hurt and jealous and no matter how much he knew he shouldn’t be acting this way he wanted Simon to feel a little of what he was, even if it was for completely the wrong reasons.
“It was an accident,” Simon mumbled and Jace scoffed, turning to look over his shoulder at the other man and raising an eyebrow in disbelief. “Sure, you accidentally fell into the laps of a couple of unsuspecting seelie’s, I’ll buy it. What about the others? You trip and accidental fall into their beds as well?” Jace’s voice was harsh and mocking as he spoke, the words just spewing from his lips with the bitter tang of anger cling to them. Simon jerked back, hurt, guilt and shame passing over his face in quick succession. It didn’t lass long, anger quickly darkening his eyes and he was glaring down at Jace, arms crossed over his chest and head held high. He had been spending too much time with Maia and Izzy, the look eerily similar to there’s and Jace liked it even less on Simon then he did on the other two.
“Not that its any of your business asshole but no, I’m actually capable of picking people up,” Simon snapped, his arms flexing as Simon dug his fingers into his biceps like he was trying to keep from physically lashing out. Jace wanted him to, wanted an excuse to crack his knuckles against Simon’s delicate looking jaw. He let out a huff of humorless laughter, ready to ask Simon if he had had to offer to do their taxes in exchange but before he could even begin to get the words out a bottle of beer was being loudly slammed down in front of him. “Don’t go back to the seelie realm,” Maia stated, a slight edge to her voice and Jace couldn’t tell if it was because of him or Simon. He hoped it was Simon because he wasn’t in the mood to deal with her overprotectiveness.
“I’m not that stupid,” Simon snapped, turning his annoyance onto Maia though it lost some of the heat it had held whilst he looked at Jace. “Really?” Jace teased, remembering all the times Simon actually had been that stupid. Jace turned back round towards the bar, ignoring Simon’s glare and snatching the new bottle of beer up, taking a swig of the warm liquid. Maia hadn’t bothered to get this one out the fridge. She was definitely mad at him then.
He could feel Simon’s eyes boring into the side of his head but he refused to turn around and acknowledge the other man, being stubborn in his imagined betrayal. Eventually Simon huffed, his intense gaze moving on and leaving Jace’s skin tingling. “Thanks again,” Simon said flatly, a stack of bills appearing on the counter in a blur of movement. There was enough there for at least two rounds of the top shelf stuff and a rather generous tip. Clearly being a representative of vampires to the clave was paying better than Jace had thought, that or Simon had become a prostitute in his spare time. Jace hated that he actually considered how much it would cost him to have Simon completely to himself.
“Asshole,” Simon mumbled as he brushed past Jace, their shoulders knocking and something inside of him just snapped. He had to have the last word, it was almost like his sanity depended on coming out on top and before Simon had even take two steps away from him Jace was spinning round, calling out loudly as he leant casually against the bar. “Careful, don’t want any more accidents.” Jace winked at Simon, giving him the same confident smirk that had gotten him in so many beds before and delighting in the way Simon’s scowl deepened, his jaw clenching as he bit back whatever he wanted to say. Jace was under the vampire’s skin, knew where to prod and prod to get a reaction and no matter how hard anyone else tried they wouldn’t be able to dig him out.
Shaking his head Simon turned away from him, easily slipping between the two seelie’s. They both moved into his personal space, the woman sliding up to his side and loping her arm around his and pressing herself against him. The guy placed his hand low on Simon’s back, his fingers splayed wide and playing with the hem of his shirt. Jace glared at the hand, wanting to storm over there and rip it off of Simon and maybe break a few of the seelie’s fingers in the process. His eyes darted up and away only to get caught by bright blue ones that stared back at him in open amusement. The seelie ushered Simon forward and out the open door, winking at Jace as they stepped through and out into the night, the door closing with a soft click behind them.
Jace snarled, turning back to the bar and snatched up his beer, wishing it was something stronger to help drown out the anger and jealousy that was pounding through his veins. “Well that went well.” Jace glared up at Maia as he finished off his beer. “Shut up,” he growled as he placed his empty bottle down a little harder then he had intended. His whole body felt tense, like a spring wound to tightly. He wanted to hit something, wanted to beat his frustrations out until his hands were bloody and all he could feel was the ache that came with a good fight.
“No seriously, if you wanted him to think you’re a judgmental, hypocritical bitch then congrats, job well done,” Maia snarled down at him, hands braced on the side of the bar and leaning into his space. He wanted a fight and he knew she would give him one, would probably leave him spitting blood and covered in bruises. It would be brutal and satisfying but he knew that all it would do was cause more problems in the long run. Snarling Jace yanked out his wallet, throwing a few bills down to cover his drinks and then some.
Neither of them said anything as Jace left, though Maia really didn’t have to considering the look she was giving him. How she managed to look both angry and concerned Jace didn’t know but what he did know was that he didn’t want to have to deal with her calling him out on his shitty behavior. He didn’t need her to tell him that he had been an asshole and he didn’t want to think about Simon off with the the perfect blonde, not even caring that he had hurt Jace.
‘Fuck him’ Jace thought. Why should he care if Simon slept with half the down world? If that’s how he wanted to spend the rest of his immortal life then let him, Jace wouldn’t stop him. It wasn’t any of his business who Simon spent his nights with and he had made it perfectly clear that he didn’t care enough about Jace to be honest with him. He had been an idiot to even think for a second that someone like Simon would ever want him. Jace was damaged, broken beyond repair and an asshole to just round it all off.
He had known his feelings for Simon would ruin their friendship but he had thought he would have at least gotten to kiss the other man first before it had all gone up in flames. Now all that was left was the bitter taste of jealousy, the bone deep hurt of not being good enough and the all consuming anger at himself for being so stupid and at Simon for not even realizing what he had done to Jace.
Well fuck Simon, or not as was the case. Jace didn’t need him in his life, nor did he want him at the moment. He would just be a reminder that Jace wasn’t good enough and he didn’t need Simon’s help with that. Jace already knew he wasn’t but he had never thought that Simon would be the one to drive home the point.
Rating:E 18+ (scenes of a sexual nature ~ canon typical violence ~ rated E for latter chapters)
Pairings:Simon Lewis x Jace (insert chosen last name here) / minor Alex Lightwood x Magnus Bane
Chapter summary: Jace doesn’t regret his actions but he does feel a little guilty and he definitely isn’t sulking because Simon ditched him for his nerdy band practice yet again.
The meeting had lasted just over an hour, everyone going over reports and sharing information from the last week. It had been boring but Jace had forced himself to pay attention, taking everything in and forcing Simon from his mind. Concentrating on work had helped, Simon the last thing on his mind as he gave his own reports but as soon as the meeting was over and there was nothing to keep him occupied his mind had instantly gone back to Simon and before he knew what he was doing Jace had his phone in his hands, having already sent a text to Simon demanding to know if he had finished with his nerd thing as Jace was bored and wanted entertaining.
Simon had been quick to reply, shooting Jace down and informing him that he would probably be busy all night but promising to swing by the next day with lunch and a mango smoothie to make it up to him. Jace had only been slightly mollified with the gesture, sulking off to his room to go wash the hours of sweat off and ignoring Izzy’s knowing smirk and teasing comment about being abandoned by his not boyfriend. That had left a sour taste in Jace’s mouth and he couldn’t understand why. Simon wasn’t his boyfriend, nor had he been abandoned like some sort of unwanted animal. Simon was allowed to have plans outside of Jace. They weren’t exclusive or anything, they had other friends, Simon apparently more so than Jace.
He tried not to think about it as he headed to the shower, trying to ignore the bitter taste and swirling in his gut as he pulled off his workout clothes and leaving a trail behind him into the bathroom. Almost as soon as he’s under the hot spray though his mind begins to wander once more. Jace knew that he and Simon spent a lot of time together, more than was probably strictly necessary but it wasn’t Jace’s fault they got along so well now that they were actively not hating on each other. Things were easy with Simon, simple even. Jace knew where he stood with the vampire and Simon never expected anything from Jace other than for him to just be himself, flaws and all. So yeah, Jace liked to spend time with Simon because he enjoyed the vampires company and the fact he was pretty to look at made it even less of a hardship to be around him.
With his thoughts already occupied with Simon it didn’t take long for Jace to go back to that day’s training, remembering vividly how Simon had looked and felt under his hands. Having Simon on top of him seemed to be the thing his mind stuck on the most, Jace almost perfectly able to imagine what he would look like bouncing up and down with his head thrown back and eyes closed, his mouth hanging open on a moan and his razor sharp fangs almost glinting in the light.
Simon was always so loud in his fantasy’s, Jace unable to imagine him not making some form of noise even if it was a loud moan or a desperate cry of Jace’s name. Everything he knew of Simon fed into it, including all the times he had seen him shirtless and hair tussled, how cold he would be under his hands as Jace gripped at his waist and pulled him down against him. Reality overlapped with fantasy, Simon all bright eyes and wide smiles as he looked down at Jace like he was heaven incarnate even as his nails dug into Jace’s chest and drew blood. It was enough for Jace, finding his release embarrassingly quickly and having to bite down on his lip to keep from moaning Simon’s name. He had stood under the shower, breathing heavily and letting the hot water run over his neck and shoulders, the last faint echo of Simon calling his name taunting Jace with what he couldn’t have.
He felt guilty afterwards, always did but just like every other time before he stomped down on the feeling, knowing full well that it wouldn’t be enough to stop him from doing it again. It was a vicious circle of want and guilt that he just couldn’t seem to get out off but he wasn’t sure he wanted to, not really. He deserved to feel that heavy feeling in his chest, like something was pressing down on him, almost suffocating him. He deserves to feel ashamed every time his eyes drop to Simon’s ass or he spent to long trying to imagine what Simon’s skin would taste like on his lips. They were supposed to be friends and Jace was treating Simon like some sort of sex object and that was something he never would have imagined liking Simon to, especially considering how much of a walking disaster the other man had been when they first met.
Feeling sufficiently guilty and a little disgusted with himself Jace had flopped back onto his bed, naked and wet and just staring up at the ceiling as he wondered what to do with his free evening. It was stupid that he had just automatically assumed he would have been spending it with Simon, not even taking it into consideration that he would have had plans of his own. That assumption had left him alone with nothing with his own mind for company and that never ended well, the silence making it to easy for Jace to get lost in his memories to the point he felt like he was drowning.
He could try Alec, it had been a few weeks since he had seen his parabatai but he was loathe to disturb his and Magnus’ wedded bliss and he really didn’t want to play the third wheel yet again. Izzy wouldn’t allow him anywhere near her, not tonight anyway considering she was on duty and had been the one to force this night off on Jace so if he so much as tried to slip back into the ops room she would kick his ass all the way back out again. With Simon off at his band practice that left Jace with very few options and he really didn’t want to spend the night alone.
Sighing he turned his head to the side, staring at his abandoned phone and trying to will it to do something that would make the choice for him. Even if it was just to cover a patrol or something equally as routine Jace would take it, just for something to do. He hated nights off, never really knowing what to do with himself unless he had someone to spend the time with. That was normally Simon, Jace having spent every day off he had had in the last two months with the vampire doing everything from going out for drinks to shopping or even just crashing at Simon’s and playing video games and watching those mundane movies that the nerd was so obsessed with.
He wasn’t sure when it had become a thing, Jace practically demanding Simon’s attention even when he was working as well as when he wasn’t but it had and Simon was always so accommodating, allowing Jace into his space and his life without so much as batting an eyelid. It had never been a problem, until now that was because now it just felt weird to have free time and Simon not being there, Jace not knowing what to do with himself without the other mans presence. The whole situation was tragic, just highlighting how pathetic he had become.
Feeling frustrated and annoyed with his own stupidity Jace shoved up off the bed and started to angrily pull on his clothes. So what if Simon wasn’t around? Jace didn’t need the vampire there constantly to function. He had survived before the idiot came stumbling into his life, all nervous chatter with an uncanny knack for getting into trouble and Jace would be fine now. He could handle one night on his own, he just needed something to do.
It shouldn’t be that hard to keep himself occupied. He could head down to the library and read, he still had a book on modern mundane history to finish that Simon had given him when he found out how much of a history buff Jace was. He could go play for a while, though he wasn’t feeling it right now he was sure once he was sat down in front of the piano something would come to him and he would be able to lose a few hours to the gentle melodies. Failing that he was sure he would be able to find someone to spar with. Sure it may be overkill considering how long he had already spent training with Simon but at least it would keep his mind occupied and he wouldn’t be distracted by his chosen victim like he always seemed to be with Simon.
There were plenty of things for him to do that didn’t include Simon. They weren’t attached at the hip, they could do things on their own, should do more things without the other hanging around. Maybe if they spent some time apart Jace would be able to look at the brunette without thinking about him naked and his family would stop badgering him to ask Simon out when he really didn’t want to.
Mind made up Jace shoved his boots on. He would start spending less time with Simon and now was a good as time as any to start. So what if it was because Simon had other plans? It was still time apart. Jace was a fully functioning adult as well as a highly capable shadowhunter. He had fought monsters that legends were made off and gone through horrors that would leave a lesser man insane. Putting some distance between him and Simon should be easy, all things considered. They would spend less time together, Jace would get his own life back and he would be able to look at Simon for longer than two minutes without thinking about him naked. It was simple really, easy even and he would start tonight by proving he didn’t need the vampire around to have a good time.
Now he just needed to decide what the actual hell he was going to do.
