#nct series
Love To Hate Me
part five – twink
twinky jaemin era /j LOL but anyways thank you all sm for supporting my series </3 i didn’t think you guys would like it this much qhwkjsks (๑¯◡¯๑)
taglist:@daegalfangirl@marklexleaf@bbnana@ikyk-leeknow@skrtbeepbeep@ne0yong@renjunvibes@nanamericano (dm/ask me if you wanna be added in the taglist ^^)
My Duty As Princess Masterlist
The updated version
Lee Jeno x fem reader
in collaboration with@urlocaltrash28
preview,01,02,03,04,05,06, 07, 08, 09, 10, epilogue
Genre:arranged marriage au! royalty au!
Warnings:violence, explicit language, suggestive content, smut
Word Count: 4-6K per chapter
Synopsis: “Crown Prince Lee Jeno, of The Kingdom of Northcy, expected to marry Princess (y/n) (l/n) of The Modia Kingdom just before the new year. The two young royals say they are just ‘doing their duty,’ as their union ends the war. I think we can all agree this marriage will be the beginning of a new era for both kingdoms. From myself and everyone here at channel 6 news, we congratulate the Prince and Princess.” You watched the news anchor announce your marriage to your kingdom, ‘just doing my duty, as princess.’
Authors Note:This is the same story as the original, that just went through heavy review and editing to comeback better than ever. All of this, was possible with the help of the Amazing@urlocaltrash28 As much love as you give to me, please give to her as well.
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Taglist:@floweronacloud@cookydream@nctstrawberrycow@marklexleaf@jvjsssnaa@thejeongjaehyun@thejungjaehyun@jackyeongljin@terjeno@tyongf-sunflower99@tgnctzen131@gooreumic@jenotation@nctdom@ficklehoe@itsveronicaxxx@actually-vl@her33n@tomorrowbymoa-together@bangtan-jam
The Nanny
alternate ending
Lee Taeyong x fem reader
preview,01,02,03,04,05,06,07,08,09,10, alternate ending
Genre:mafia au! dad taeyong au!
Warnings:explicit language, mature themes, angsty
Word Count: 5.2K+
Author’s note: AHHHH YOU GUYS THOUGHT IT WAS DONE HUH??? NAH ONE MORE TIME LMAOOOO. no but there’s nothing after this that’s for sure. Also this is dedicated to @tyongf-sunflower99 they are the only reason I thought of doing an alternate ending. This picks up right after chapter 7. At first I was hesitant to do this simply because I didn’t want it to take away from the original storyline, but after serious consideration, I thought this would add more to the storyline than take away. Not to mention I just enjoyed writing it so I had to share it. Hugs and kisses to anyone reading<333
—————-
You glanced at the clock on the wall before staring back at the tv in the living room. Taeyong texted he was on his way home, but you knew from the mansion to the office, it wasn’t two and a half hours.
Dasom was already laid up in bed, Mark had texted earlier that him and the boys would be home extra late. Some business they had to take care of. You wondered where everyone was, why were they gonna be home late. You walked into the kitchen to make yourself a glass of water. You heard the front door open, which was strange, Taeyong always came through the garage door.
Nevertheless you rushed to the front door, Johnny stood there with dream. Taeyong was nowhere in sight. All the boys hung their heads, none of them dared to look at you. Slowly almost one by one, they fell into a bow, a proper 90 degree bow.
“(y/n),” Johnny said, he looked directly at you, his eyes bloodshot, “Taeyong is dead.”
-
You shot up in your half empty bed, looking around the room. Taeyong still hadn’t come home yet. You didn’t even know when you fell asleep, the last thing you remembered was you sitting in bed reading Taeyong’s text that he was on his way home for the 100th time. The nightmare sent chills down your spine, trying to push the thought far from your mind. Taeyong is not dead, you told yourself over and over again.
As you exited your room, you peered into each of the boys rooms. All empty as well, you checked your phone for the time, it read 4:32am. None of them came home yet. You dragged your feet down the stairs to the kitchen where you found Auntie, preparing the list for morning chores for the maids.
“Good morning madam,” she bowed to you, like the proper maid that she was.
“Auntie please,” you wished she would just treat you like a normal human being, instead of some princess, or high lady.
“I am being respectful to my boss madam, as one should.”
You shook your head, “Auntie, did the boys or Taeyong possibly come home while I was asleep and left before I woke?” You asked, hopeful, that you just happened to miss him, too tired to wait up any longer.
“No one has been home madam,” your stomach dropped. None of them came home last night. You dropped to the floor the feeling of absolute dread taking over. “Madam,” Auntie shouted out, trying to catch you. “Breath please, (y/n),” Auntie looked at you with so much concern as tears fell from your eyes. You were hyperventilating, your heart was racing, you felt like the room was spinning. They didn’t come home last night.
-
After Auntie moved you from the kitchen floor to the living room couch. You were still in a freaked mindset, the nightmare from earlier feeling all too realistic. Auntie had got you a glass of water, hoping to calm you down a bit. You took a couple sips, trying to slow your breathing enough so you could relay your thoughts to her.
Just when you felt yourself calm down enough to talk, you heard the front door open. Hoping it was Taeyong or one of the boys, you rushed to the front door dropping the glass of water. The glass shattering against the hard floors, not causing you any worry. The thought of that being Taeyong occupying all of your mind.
When you got to the front door to see Johnny walk through your heart dropped once more. Where was your husband and why wasn’t he home already?
“Johnny,” your voice cracked, as you took steps back to allow him to walk through. He looked like he got less sleep than you, like he walked through hell and back. “Where… where is he Johnny?” You felt the tears run down your face, and if there was a God you hoped and prayed he brought Taeyong home to you in one piece soon.
“He’s alive,” you took a deep breath hearing Johnny mutter those words, ‘he’s alive.’ He’s living breathing, he’s alive. You don’t know who heard your muttered prayers but you thanked them. He’s alive. “But,”
No, no, no. “But, but what? Johnny, where is my husband? Where are my boys? Why has no one come home?” you felt your voice get louder, you wanted your family to be home to be safe.
“Taeyong was taken,” Johnny took a deep breath placing both his hands on your shoulders, “the Yakuza have taken Taeyong, I don’t know where he is right now, but he is alive. They sent us a message, he have 36 hours to meet their demands, but only 24 hours to respond to them.”
“Where are my boys Johnny? Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Donghyuck, Jaemin, Chenle, Jisung, where are they?”
“They’re all fine, they’re at the organization’s office.”
“I’m gonna change and I’ll go with you,” you started, turning to look at Auntie, “I need you to take care of Dasom, I’ll be back after I get my husband back.”
“(y/n) no,” Johny started off, “I came here to give you an update that’s it. I can’t put you in harm’s way.”
“You think I’m about to allow you to walk into my house tell me my husband has been kidnapped, and just expect me to just sit at home waiting around for you to deliever news?” You looked at Johnny as if he was stupid. Which he was for thinking you would actually agree to that.
“Let me handle this with Yakuza, I promise to bring Taeyong home to you alive.”
“I’ll let you handle it, but I am sure as hell not gonna sit around here waiting for you to give an update. I’m going with you, end of discussion.”
“Taeyong wouldn’t like this,” Johnny says, trying to sway you the other way.
“Well Taeyong can bitch about it when we bring him home.”
Johnny groaned wondering who was worse with their demands, you or Taeyong.
-
Johnny brought you to the organization’s office, which was a mechanic shop. On the way there Johnny explained how the mechanic shop offered a nice cover, as well as it was owned by them, and it was a place each of the boys could work on their own cars for races.
Under the shop was a conference area that was surprisingly high tech. There were several computer monitors in one corner, all with different information displayed. There was a large tv on one of the walls, displaying all known information of the yakuza, a conference table made for 30 in front of the tv. On one wall was a display of different guns, and knives, as well as some protection stuff.
“Only the members hand picked by Taeyong know about this place and are allowed down here.” Johnny whispered to you, as you guys entered the room.
You glanced around the room, your eyes first finding Jisung. You rushed over to him, trying to make sure he was okay.
“(y/n),” he called out, surprised to see you.
“Are you okay?” you examined his face carefully, looking for any new scratch or bruise or cut.
Jisung grabbed your hands, pulling them away from his face, “I’m okay, I promise.”
You took a deep breath calming yourself down, then you started hitting Jisung, scolding him. “You didn’t come home last night, no call, no text, nothing to let me know if you’re alive or not? I was worried sick you cannot do this to me, do you understand?”
Jisung smiled fondly at your actions, he couldn’t remember a motherly figure from his childhood like this worried about him. Both of his parents were addicts, too concerned about getting their next fix to worry about Jisung. They both died just before his 14th birthday, his dad killed because he owed the wrong people money, his mom overdose off of a bad batch of heroin. Taeyong took him in just after his 14th birthday, even got together the proper paperwork to legally be his guardian.
Taeyong wasn’ just like a father to Jisung, but he was his father. In Jisung’s heart and mind, Taeyong was his dad, and Seulgi was his mom. They were the ones that took him, took care of him, raised him. And Jisung firmly believed that after Seulgi died, he would never have another mother. That is until you came along. You cared about him, you checked up on him, you were constantly worried about him. You were just like a mother to him, and he so much wanted you to be his mother.
“I’m sorry,” Jisung apologized with a smile, “I won’t do it again.”
“Damn right you won’t do it again, you are to come home every night, I don’t care how late it is, but you need to at least come home every night.” you huffed out, a little more calm now that you got all of that off your chest. “Now where are the rest of the boys?”
“(y/n)?” you heard your name being called out in surprise, you looked around the room to see Renjun staring at you, walking fast towards you. “What are you doing here?”
You looked the boy up and down, not seeing any new bruises or cuts. You started to scold him too, “what is wrong with you? Not coming home at all last night, you had me worry sick. No call, no text, nothing to let me know you were okay,” Renjun flinched at each hit trying to hold up his arm to stop you.
“I’m sorry,” Renjun speaks up, hoping for you to stop scolding him. But he must admit, as much as you hit him, not a single one of them hurt. They were all so gentle, so soft. Renjun grew up with abusive parents, often beating him into submission. When he finally saved up enough, he bought a plane ticket out of the country. Thinking that he needs to put the water between him and his parents to be safe. None of your hits hurt, they were all so soft, Renjun wondered if you were genuinely mad. But when he caught a glimpse of your face, he knew you weren’t really mad, just really concerned. “I’ll let you know from now on.”
“Thank you,” you recoiled your hands back, no longer feeling the need to scold the boys. “Where are the rest of the boys?”
“Mark and Hyuck just left, they went to run an errand,” Renjun answered.
“Chenle is upstairs, he’s looking over some things.” Jisung answered.
“Jeno and Jaemin?” The two boys looked at each other, avoiding answering the question. Just then you heard this chime, signaling someone else entering the room. You looked over to see Jeno resting the majority of his weight on Jaemin as the two entered the room. Your eyes went wide, “what happened?” you whispered, afraid of the answer to your question.
Doyoung, and Jaehyun went over to help Jeno into a chair. “He’s fine now, (y/n),” Renjun spoke to you softly.
“What the hell happened that he’s hurt?” you turned back to Renjun and Jisung asking them.
“Yakuza,” Jisung let out, hanging his head.
You made your way to where Johnny was standing, looking over some documents. “Bullshit,” you cussed at Johnny.
“What?” Johnny turned to you utterly confused.
“Bullshit, you fucking said they were fine. That’s not fucking fine Johnny.” You tried to burn holes through Johnny’s head, but he seemed not to have any effect whatsoever.
“Alive is fine,” Johnny let out, you felt yourself break just a little more. Alive is fine, they were alive. You looked away, trying to stop yourself from having a full blown breakdown.
-
You sat at the conference table with all the members of NCT. You were at the front of the table, sitting in Taeyong’s seat. You didn’t like the seat at all, you didn’t like the feeling of being the one to make the decisions. All the boys were going through different scenarios of what was going to happen.
Jaehyun wanted to give into the yakuza’s demands, he concluded that would be the safest option to ensure Taeyong’s safety. Yuta was against that plan considering that would mean handing over Shotaro. Jungwoo suggested an old school style raid but that would risk Taeyong’s safety, so both Johnny and Jaehyun shot down that idea. Hendery suggested that we cut off the yakuza’s power supply, but Shotaro admitted that wouldn’t work, because the Osaki clan was very old school. They wouldn’t need power to kill Taeyong.
You listened to all these different scenarios to get your husband home, but it seemed every plan has its own unique flaw.
“(y/n) what do you wanna do?” Johnny asked, turning to look at you now.
“Why are you asking me? I don’t know what to do,” you admitted quickly. This wasn’t anywhere near your expertise, you were studying to be a doctor before your life was thrown for a loop. You were a biology major.
“But this is your husband,” Johnny added sympathetically.
“I will go with whatever plan that ensures he returns safely, unharmed.”
“We do the exchange then,” Jaehyun resolved.
“Fuck that,” Yuta shouted, standing from the table, “Taeyong wouldn’t want us to do the exchange.”
“His wife wants us to,” Jaehyun argued back, now standing from the table.
“She doesn’t even know Taeyong. She’s only known him for a year at most. Her opinion is irrelevant.” Yuta stated clear as day, words carefully laced.
“Watch your mouth Yuta,” Johnny snapped, now standing as well.
“Are you guys done with your little power trips?” You asked, still sitting, looking at them. They all gave you a confused look, “ready to sit down and have a civilized conversation like adults?” You could’ve sworn you saw some of the other members stifle their laughter. Yuta, Jaehyun and Johnny all slowly took their seats once again. “Thank you,” you let out a breath, “I obviously don’t know what’s the right thing to do, and I obviously know Taeyong the least amongst this group, but what I do know is slamming your fist and shouting at each other isn’t gonna solve my problem of my husband being kidnapped. So I suggest that we brainstorm some ways to get my husband back home safely, in a civilized way, that way we actually have a chance of getting him back alive. How does that sound, boys?” You didn’t want to come off as rude, or condescending, but it sure as hell felt that way.
“Yes,” Jaehyun spoke, sitting back down in his seat. All of them are now turning to look at you. You wanted to murder the you from a minute ago, for putting yourself into this position. You also wanted to murder Johnny for asking for your opinion initially.
“Look,” you started off, taking a deep breath, unsure just exactly how to go about this situation, “I just want Taeyong back. I don’t know the protocol here, or if there even is one, but Dasom is waiting for her daddy to come home, and I refuse to go back home to her without him.”
You watched all the boys, giving small seemingly simple head nods all around the table. You knew they wanted Taeyong back as much as you did, and they were going to do everything they could to get him back.
-
24 hours. That is exactly how long the yakuza gave you guys to respond to their demands.
21 hours, is exactly how long it took for you guys to tell them you would meet their demands.
The yakuza wanted Shotaro and compensation for taking him, compensation in the form of 1 million USD. It took Johnny merely five minutes to gather all the money in cash for them. How, you had no idea and you questioned if you really wanted to know.
Nevertheless, you were gonna make the exchange. You couldn’t explain it but you were the one that needed to make the exchange, you nearly spent almost two hours arguing with Johnny about it. He finally agreed, after telling you he was gonna drive, you had to wear a vest and you had to carry a weapon. He also made you wear the most combat tactical outfit you had ever seen.
“Am I going to war?” you asked Johnny after you got out of the bathroom, just finished changing your clothes.
“Yes,” Johnny answered very matter of factly. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes.
“I’m not wearing it,” you said, turning around, walking back to the bathroom.
“Then you’re not going,” Johnny responded.
You turned back around to glance at Johnny, “watch me,” you smirked. Before closing the bathroom door.
-
The car ride to the exchange site was filled with Johnny giving you reminders and running through a minute by minute plan. He tried to drag you from the car to keep you from doing the exchange, part of you thought it was a miracle that he was actually allowing you to do this.
“Now, I’m gonna step out with you guys. (y/n) keep your hand on Shotaro until we get proof of life. We aren’t doing this unless we’re certain that it’s him and he’s alive.”
“He’s alive,” you stated, firm in your belief that your husband was fine.
Johnny glanced at you through the rearview mirror. He felt sorry that you got roped into this life. You were just a simple college girl, on her way to graduation and maybe med school. Johnny felt like he knew your life story already from how much Taeyong talked about you. And it wasn’t like Taeyong was going on and on about you. No, he would just mention little things here and there, especially if something reminded him of you.
Johnny thought back to a simpler time, when he and Taeyong were both focused more on the corporation than the organization.
Johnny met up with Taeyong for lunch, since they both had a meeting in an hour. They were only supposed to go up to the food court and grab something fast. But Taeyong had to stop when he saw the plushie in a store display. Johnny didn’t initially notice Taeyong walk away from him into the store.
“Dude?” Johnny questioned, following Taeyong now.
Taeyong went up to the cashier asking for the plushie in the display. Taeyong swiped his card, not really caring much about it. Thanking the cashier then walking out.
“What’s that?” Johnny asked.
“It’s boba plushie for (y/n), she really likes boba, and was talking that she wanted a plushie.” Taeyong spoke with the biggest smile Johnny had ever seen on him. Johnny couldn’t help but chuckle a little. “What?”
“You love her?”
“Who? (y/n)?” there was this blush that danced across Taeyong’s cheeks, “no no, I mean she’s great with Dasom. She always checks up on me before she leaves for the night. She has this insane love for food. She is very special, but I don’t love her like that.” Taeyong dismissed and Johnny couldn’t help but shake his head.
“Invite me to the wedding, yeah?”
Taeyong laughed and shook his head this time.
That day felt like a lifetime ago, and Johnny felt sorry that you were in this position now. Taeyong wanted so badly to keep you safe. He wanted so much for you to be away from this part of his life. Now you were in the middle of it.
-
You arrived at the exchange location, it was an abandoned parking lot. They were already waiting for you. Johnny pulled up in front of them, putting the car in park but not turning it off. You took a deep breath, looking at Johnny.
“You ready?”
“No,” you answered truthfully. You wondered if what you were doing right now was a mistake. Was Taeyong’s life really worth Shotaro’s? Who were you to decide these kinds of things? Would Taeyong be angry about this decision of yours? What if all of this is in vain?
“Okay,” Johnny said, opening his door to step out. You matched his movements, remembering the plan.
You closed your door, looking at the group of men, wearing black suits and sunglasses.
“Didn’t expect to see you Mrs.Lee,” a man not wearing sunglasses, smiled crookedly at you.
“Where’s my husband?” you controlled your tone, you couldn’t let on too much.
“Where’s my cousin?”
“I asked first,” the man, that proclaimed himself as Shotaro’s cousin, laughed wickedly at you. Then turned looking back at the men by the door. He gestured to them as they opened a door, pulling someone out of the car.
There stood your husband. He looked beaten, blues blossomed around his left eye, his lip looked red with blood. His once clean and neat suit was battered and wrinkled. His usually very neat hair was tousled around and you wanted to dart out. To race towards him, to hold him close to you and check up on him. To feel him against you.
You reigned your feelings in, taking a deep breath. You opened the door and gave Shotaro and a sad look. He smiled so kindly back at you. He looked happy. He climbed out of the car, buttoning his suit jacket that was once undone, he stood next to you now.
Shotaro’s cousin and Taeyong walked towards you, as you and Shotaro made your way towards them. You gripped the briefcase with the money tightly.
When you met in the middle, Taeyong’s face showed that he wasn’t happy but you were over the moon that he was fine. You opened up the briefcase, showing the stacks of hundred dollar bills.
“It’s been a pleasure doing business with you Mrs.Lee,” Shotaro’s cousin smiled crookedly once again. He grabbed Taeyong’s arm, pushing Taeyong towards you. You handed over the briefcase, and Shotaro walked away.
You wrapped your hand around Taeyong’s arm pulling him along to the car. Only when you were back in the safety of the car driving away, did you cut open the ziptips bounding his wrist.
“What the fuck was that?” Taeyong asked angrily, has he soothed his wrist. You didn’t grace him with a response, instead taking his wrist into your hands. Gently rubbing at the bruises that were forming.
Johnny didn’t answer Taeyong either, you could feel him tense up a little. Then Johnny picked up his phone, speaking into the ongoing call. “It’s a go Mark.”
-
On the other side, Shotaro climbed into the car with his cousin. Mark and the rest of the dream, along with several other members awaited them. You weren’t gonna let Shotaro go back to Japan. He was family.
Dream raided the car. There were seven people in the car including Shotaro, when dream was done there were five dead, and one living left in the car. Shotaro was rescued completely unharmed, with the briefcase.
“He’s family,” you whispered to Taeyong as you guys waited on the side of the street for dream to show up. It didn’t take long for them to appear.
When the boys tumbled out of the car, Shotaro and the briefcase with them, they all wore happy smiles. Shotaro handed the briefcase over to Johnny, while Mark informed Taeyong of the original plan. You checked in with Jisung and the other boys, making sure none of them were hurt.
“(y/n),” Shotaro tapped your shoulder, gaining your attention, “thank you.” Shotaro dropped to his knees in a bow you couldn’t accept. You rushed pulling him up, wrapping your arms around the poor boy. You could feel the spots of tears wet your shoulders.
You pulled away, allowing Shotaro to straighten up, “you’re family, it’s what family does.” Shotaro smiled and nodded, tears still escaping him.
After everyone exchanged plans, and dream told you they would see you back home later tonight, they left. You climbed back into the car with Taeyong right behind you.
“You made this plan?” Taeyong asked as you guys began moving again.
“I just asked if it was possible, Johnny them made the plan.”
“Mark says it was you,”
“It was,” Johnny interrupted. Taeyong raised his brow at you.
“Not alone,” you said. Taeyong smiled, pulling you closer. Taking you face in his hands, kissing you feverishly. It should have been passionate, rough, and a breath-taking kiss. But it wasn’t, it was short, sweet, loving, soft, sentimental. It almost made you cry. It did make you cry. Taeyong leaned his forehead against yours, and you whispered, “I thought I lost you.”
“Not yet my love.” You smiled at Taeyong’s words, he was fine. You both leaned back into the chair, still wrapped in each other’s embrace. “I don’t forgive you Johnny. Letting my wife come to an exchange like this.”
“Trust me Tae, I tried dragging her from the car.” Johnny scoffed, shaking his head. Taeyong let out a deep chuckle.
He looked over to you, smiling.
-
Three months have passed, war between the yakuza and NCT has calmed down a bit but is still ongoing. Taeyong was already back to work full time at both the organization and corporation. Dream continued to live at the mansion, they loved being there. They claimed that it felt more homey than their original dorm ever had been. You think they just enjoyed the free food, but you loved their company. Dasom was gonna be starting school soon, she was set up at some preppy private school that Taeyong insisted she go to. You didn’t know what was wrong with the public school a few streets over, but Taeyong was paying for it so it was his choice.
You had just finished helping the chef prepare all of Taeyong’s favorite food. You were dressed up nice tonight, you had news to share. You were setting up all the dishes on the dining room table for dinner. You had dressed Dasom up too. You swore you heard the door open, “come on Dasom,” you beckoned to the little girl. Taking her tiny hand into yours, you walked out to greet Taeyong and dream.
When you got to the door, you saw dream begin taking off their shoes and jackets, Taeyong behind all of them, he was on the phone. He looked deep in the conversation that you didn’t want to interrupt. Instead greeting just the boys and telling them to go wash up and come down since dinner was already ready. When Taeyong finally noticed you, he seemed like he couldn’t be bother, giving you a simple peck on the cheek and waving at Dasom before making his way to his office.
You felt a little defeated about how dismissive he was, not noticing your outfit, or how you fixed your hair, or anything really. Writing it off as work, and trying not to feel complete defeated you made your way to the dining room, with Dasom to wait for everyone to come down to dinner.
-
In his home office, Taeyong remained on the phone with Johnny. “He’s in Korea Tae, I don’t know what we’re gonna do.”
“Does Shotaro know?”
“Here’s the thing, Tae. Shotaro’s brother came to Korea as well.”
“What?”
“The brother wants out too, he came to Korea for Shotaro. Shotaro is the only one of the family that could escape and the brother wants to do the same.”
“Fuck,” Taeyong let out a sigh, “It doesn’t change anything. Shotaro is family, and we’re gonna protect him like a family should. I want Taeil’s family on high alert, and tell Jaehyun and Yuta no more dating until this is over. I won’t bring any more innocent people into this.”
“You got it.”
“Thank you Johnny.” Taeyong let out a sigh, wondering what more he could do, “oh Johnny, stay safe.”
“You too Tae.” With that Johnny hung up on his side, leaving Taeyong to sit and ponder alone for a moment. He dragged his hand across his face, pulling the tie loose from his neck.
He wondered just where he went wrong to allow this to consume his life? Deciding that was a question for another day, he made his way to the dining room, where you sat in the seat next to his. You wore this bright smile that had his heart skip, you were dressed rather nice for just dinner at home. There was this certain glow around you that he couldn’t ignore.
Taeyong walked behind you, he stopped just a little, pecking your cheek, before sliding into his seat. “I’m sorry,” he apologized to you, “it was Johnny, some business things.”
“What business thing?” Johnny would never call after Taeyong left the office unless it was related to the organization.
“After dinner my love.”
“Okay,” you let out a breath, trying not to fret about it.
-
You guys enjoyed dinner happily, each of the boys telling you about their day. Towards the end of dinner, when you guys were mostly done, just sitting around and talking did you speak up. Clearing your throat, “I have an announcement,” you looked to Dasom. You hope, pray, beg whoever that this baby will be, they are just as amazing as her. You hope, pray, beg whoever that this baby will end up to be just like their father, “I’m pregnant.”
The table erupted into cheers and questions. You looked at Taeyong who wore the most shocked expression one could put on. Your heart sank, thinking that maybe you guys should’ve talked about this privately. Maybe he didn’t want another kid. Maybe he wasn’t ready. Maybe this wasn’t his plan. Maybe he didn’t actually love you and was just having fun. Your mind turned in on you faster than you could stop yourself. You already felt tears brim your eyes.
Then the smallest crack of a smile. Taeyong’s shock turned to joy. His eyes started to spill out tears. “You’re…”
“You’re happy?” your heart was still racing, you needed to hear him put his emotions into words.
Taeyong took your face into his hands, pulling you into a deep kiss, “I’ve overjoyed my love.” You took a deep breath, allowing yourself to smile.
“Congratulations.” Mark spoke up, holding his glass out for a cheer. You guys all heard up your glasses, yours being water.
-
Later that night in the comfort and privacy of your bedroom, did you and Taeyong have the conversation that should’ve happened earlier.
“Are you really happy about this baby?” Your mind is not allowing yourself to be convinced.
“I am baby,” Taeyong came out of the adjoining bathroom, plopping down on the bed, next to you. “A new addition to the family is exactly what’s needed right now,” Taeyong placed his hand over your stomach.
“I don’t want this baby to take anything away from Dasom though,”
“Nobody will take anything away from that princess.” You smiled at Taeyong’s nickname for her. “I am completely happy my love, to have a baby with you is a dream I never thought possible.”
You smiled, cuddling deeper into Taeyong’s embrace. “Oh what business did Johnny call you about?”
Taeyong let out a deep sigh, “Shotaro’s father is in Korea.”
There was a silence that fell over the two of you, unsure what was coming next. “Taeyong, are we being selfish bringing a baby into this life?”
“Maybe, probably. But we saved several using this life.” Taeyong reminded you about dream, namelessly. Although this wasn’t ideal, this was life, this was your life.
————–
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The Nanny
Chapter 10
Lee Taeyong x fem reader
preview,01,02,03,04,05,06,07,08,09,10,
Genre:mafia au! dad taeyong au!
Warnings:explicit language, mature themes, angsty
Word Count: 2.7K+
Author’s note: I am sorry this is late. I was out today, running errands and I thought I would be back home to post this but I wasn’t sadly. But this is the end guys, like this is the conclusion to the story and I feel like I lot of people just fell off at the end of chapter 8 because we found Taeyong is dead dead. When I decided to write this, I knew I didn’t want it to be a happily ever after, also I didn’t want to overly romanticize the idea of falling in love with a mafia man. Idk what did you guys think? like I want you guys to give me paragraphs about what you thought of the story as a whole. I want to know all your favorite moments, all the moments you hated me, all the moments that made your heart ache, all the moments that you cringed. I want to know, please tell me all of your thoughts. I beg of you. Nevertheless, hugs and kisses to anyone reading <3333
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You sat in what was once Taeyong’s home office, going over the income paperwork of the last quarter for the organization. Mr.Lee, Taeyong’s father, offered you a secretary position within the corporation which you turned down. You wanted to be able to spend as much time at home with Dasom. Taking on the organization was more than enough for you at the moment.
You looked up from the paperwork on the desk. Your eyes found a picture that sat on the desk, it was of you and Dasom when you first started as her nanny. Taeyong took the picture, at that time, he said he just wanted a picture of Dasom, he didn’t mention you were in the picture too. You stared at the picture trying to remember that day.
“(y/n),” Johnny called while walking into the office. “Here,” Johnny handed you a stack of papers.
You flipped through the papers, seeing different options of private elementary schools, “what is this?”
“Dasom is gonna be five soon, you gotta choose a school for her,”
You flipped through the papers once more, “and what is wrong with the public school a few streets over? some of these school’s tuition is more than the average person makes in a month.” You looked up at Johnny wondering what makes him think that you’re sending your daughter to preppy private school at 5.
“These are school that was deemed safe enough,”
“Safe enough?” you questioned. Johnny looked taken aback.
“The original hit wasn’t on you, (y/n).” Johnny spoke hesitantly.
“Johnny,” you took a breath, fearing the next words that were gonna come out of his mouth, “what do you mean?”
“The Yakuza originally put out a bond for the kidnapping and delivery of Lee Dasom. A daughter for a son.”
You leaned back in your chair, holding your head unsure about what to think. “She’s not gonna be safe anywhere. Not until he’s dead.”
Johnny looked at you concerned, this isn’t who he imagined you to become with Taeyong dead. “We’re looking for him.”
“Make it quick, I want this taken care of as soon as possible.” You went back to overlooking the paperwork again.
“Understood,” Johnny said, as he started to exit the room.
“Oh Johnny,” he turned back around looking at you, “have someone keep an eye on Shotaro, I don’t want him trying to be a hero. We’re his family now.”
Johnny nodded his head with a small smile. You wondered what possibly went through his head, that he could smile. But all that went through his head is that’s exactly what Taeyong would’ve said. ‘We’re his family now.’
-
“Mommy, mommy, mommy,” Dasom yelled as she ran towards you, arms in the air. You scooped her up into your arms, carrying her.
“What do you want?” you smiled at the little girl.
“Can I have a snack please?” Dasom looked at you with big little eyes, hoping for a big yes from you.
“Sure,” you smiled at the little girl, nodding to nanny to give her the treat. You watched them walk away before turning back to your guest.
“You aren’t gonna dissolve this organization?” Taeil’s wife asked. She was visiting you and Dasom, her excuse being to check in.
“No, I won’t,” you picked up the tea that was once abandoned sipping on it. You wanted her out of your house, but she insisted on having a conversation with you. “Why did you really visit?”
“Taeil informed me that he had been given new orders, I wanted to check if that was true.”
“You don’t trust your husband?” You questioned looking her up and down. Taeil’s wife puzzled you greatly, she played this role of the dotting accommodating perfect housewife. However you knew better, she was much more than just a perfect housewife.
“I don’t trust him to understand what goes on in a woman’s mind,” she simply let out.
You hummed at her statement, not caring much about her opinions. “If that is all…”
“I won’t apologize,” she blurted out quickly.
“Excuse me?”
“I won’t apologize for my behavior at the dinner party. I do however want to make it clear that I hold nothing against you.” You tilted your head, trying to read her mind as she continued on, “Taeyong went through hell when Seulgi got sick, I believed he was gonna die with her at one point. I just didn’t want him to go through it again.”
You nodded at her, maybe it was Taeyong’s death or Taehyun’s words, but you couldn’t hate her for what she said. “It takes a strong woman to love a man of this life.”
“It does,” she nodded her head. “It takes a stronger woman to live this life. If I may offer the slightest bit of advice?”
“You may,”
“It does get more bearable.”
-
“Mrs. Moon visited today?” Chenle questioned at the dinner table, after hearing Dasom speaking about your guy’s visitor.
“She did,” you popped another piece of meat in your mouth.
“Everything okay?” Renjun questioned looking at you suspiciously.
“Why wouldn’t it be?” you asked, as you sipped the wine you were having for tonight.
“Nothing, we might have assumed wrong,” Donghyuck answered as all the boys looked at each other. They exchanged questioning looks.
“Spit it out,” you said to them, “what is it?”
“It’s nothing really,” Mark answered, you raised your eyebrow at them.
“We just heard that you and Mrs. Moon got into it at the dinner party,” Jeno started off, “but obviously that’s wrong.” Jeno shot Donghyuck a dirty look.
You couldn’t help but smirk, “Mrs. Moon and I did not get into it at the dinner party, we just had an exchange of words. Everything is fine now.”
“What did she say?” Jaemin questioned leaning closer to you. All the boys seemed so excited to hear what else you had to say.
“Rumor has it she made Jaehyun’s girlfriend leave,” Renjun dropped that bombshell.
“Didn’t she fight one of Johnny’s exs?” Donghyuck questioned.
“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Jeno shrugged as he continued to eat his food.
You sat there stunned with all the accusations made so quickly, “that is enough gossiping from you boys.” You had to stop yourself from all out laughing at the boys, “I am sure Mrs. Moon was doing what she thought was best at the time.”
All the boys laughed out, not believing anything that came out of your mouth. You couldn’t help but just shake your head at them with a smile.
-
You could hear fast footsteps approaching you, “(y/n),” it sounded like Johnny called out to you. When he was finally within sight, you could see that he had been running towards you, “we found him,” you gave a confused look, “Mr. Osaki,” Johnny stood up straight, stopped panting now, “We found him.”
“Where?”
“He’s in Okinawa, I’ve already sent dream out there to take care of it,”
“I want him brought to me alive,”
“(y/n), that’s…”
“I know what I said Johnny, but I want to speak to Mr.Osaki directly. He is to be brought to me alive, do I make myself clear?”
“Yes,”
“Good, let’s go.”
-
It was a clean, easy mission for dream, they were in and out within 72 hours. They brought Mr.Osaki to you in one piece, without a single scratch. He now rested tied up to a chair, in the basement of your home. You didn’t want him anywhere near your daughter initially but the basement was conventitly designed for this exact situation.
You sat across from him, Johnny stood in one corner of the room. Mr. Osaki, had to be in his mid to late 50s, maybe early 60s. You could see the age clearly on his face. He looked tired. He had salt and pepper hair, he was still dressed nicely. That must’ve been a custom suit, it fit too nicely to be anything less. The colors complimented his skin tone, his wife must’ve picked it out for him.
He didn’t look to be on edge, or nervous, or worried. He looked very content, almost happy like. You didn’t really think about this moment a lot. The character in the movies that want revenge for their loved one always says that they thought about this moment a lot. The moment they can get their revenge. The moment that they put the bullet through their head, but you didn’t.
You haven’t thought about this moment at all. You wanted to ask him why, but then he would say it was for his son. You wanted to ask him if he was scared, but he looked nowhere near scared. You wanted to ask him if this is what he envisioned for his death, but you knew any man in this life was living on borrowed time, he already lived through his death. You wanted to ask him if his son was worth it, but to any parent, it would be worth it.
The question that really bugged you was what did he do to make his son leave him. How awful of a parent was he, that his son left the country? Why chase him, when he’s made it abundantly clear he doesn’t want to come home?
“Mr. Osaki?” you questioned, to see if he was still there, mentally. He hummed in acknowledgment, nothing more. You could’ve sworn you seen the corner of his lip twitch.
“(y/n),” Johnny called out for your attention, “let me end this for us right now.” Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, dear Johnny. He has always been a dependable shoulder for you, never overstepping, never being disrespectful, never being emotional. He was a rock, and you really should’ve been more aware. His voice was strained, his hand already behind his back on the gun, hie eyes burning. He wanted this man dead more than you.
You shook your head, “no, when are they going to arrive Johnny?” You changed the subject transferring it to the people you have requested for over an hour ago.
“Soon,” Johnny took a breath, retreating further back to his corner.
You turned back, once again observing Mr.Osaki.
-
You didn’t have to wait long for the men you requested. Yuta and Shotaro walked through the door. Now in the room, Mr. Osaki sat tied up to one chair, you sat across from him in another chair, Yuta, Shotaro and Johnny stood in the corner.
Mr.Osaki looked up, and stared at the son that abandoned him. His face looked first relieved, but then it twisted to anger. He spoke angrily and quickly to Shotaro, the two of them conversing in Japanese.
You turned to Yuta and Johnny for any type of translation. Yuta beckoned for you to come towards them, in which you did. When you were close enough for Yuta to speak without interrupting Mr.Osaki and Shotaro’s conversation. Did he say, “Mr.Osaki said that Shotaro is an ungrateful son who has brought dishonor to the family by abandoning them. Shotaro says that he dug his own grave, abusing Shotaro. Mr.Osaki responded with, i was building your character, you have always been weak.” Yuta stopped, his eyes going wide, then moving to be hurt.
You looked back at Shotaro and his father, the atmosphere different now. Even though Mr.Osaki was tied to the chair, you knew he held the high ground. Shotaro hung his head, he looked like a child getting scolded by his father. “He said,” Yuta started off, “that he wishes he never had a son.”
You made your way over to Shotaro and Mr.Osaki, you stood close to Shotaro, “finish the job, Shotaro.” you spoke softly.
“He won’t he’s nothing but a weak link in the Osaki clan,” Mr.Osaki spat out, staring down his son.
“He’s not a member of the Osaki clan, he’s part of the NCT family now.” You spoke to Mr.Osaki before turning back to Shotaro, “finish the job.”
Shotaro grabbed the gun behind his back, pressing the cold metal barrel to Mr.Osaki’s forehead. He slowly let go the safety, his finger on the trigger. He took a deep breath, “ご目なさい.” He pulled the trigger, the blood splatter across both of your faces. You could smell the fresh burn of the flesh. You feel the burning of the blood against your cheek. You could hear the faint sizzle of the bullet lodged in Mr.Osaki’s head. You stared at his hanging head, his eyes wide open as he looked up to the sky. There appeared to be a faint smile on his face.
He looked so happy.
-
You sat in the backseat of the car, Jisung driving and Johnny in the passenger seat. You tried to wipe the blood out of your shirt, but it didn’t seem to be coming out. Mark said that he would take care of the body. You were on your way to get Dasom from Taeil’s house. You wanted nothing more but to have your daughter in your arms. You wanted to cuddle in bed, and watch an old Disney movie while eating popcorn.
You stared down at your bloodstained blouse. Deciding you button up our jacket over the blood so that Dasom wouldn’t be aware of it. You pulled up in front of Taeil’s place. You jumped out of the car, Dasom already racing out the front door towards you.
You picked her up in your arms. You took a deep breath reminding yourself that she was right here with you. Dasom pulled back just slightly to look at you, “you finish work Mommy?” she questioned with the biggest and brightest smile you had ever seen.
“Yes princess, I’m finished.” You smiled back at her.
“Come inside for dinner,” Taeil’s wife called out, beckoning all of you to come inside, “the rest of the boys can join when they finish the clean up.”
“Okay,” you nodded your head, carrying Dasom back towards the front door, Johnny and Jisung following ensuite.
-
It had to have been three months already since Taeyong died. You have taken over completely in the organization. You got Dasom set up with an elementary school. All of dream continued to live at the mansion with you. Taeyong’s parents would take Dasom out for dinner once a week to spend time with her. Taeyong’s sister comes over every now and then to check in. You and Taeil’s wife have started to get along much better now, helping each other survive this life. Jeno and Jaemin both have admitted to their relationship being more than friends, but you’re unsure if they are dating yet. Shotaro feels more free now than ever, he doesn’t regret doing what he did, but he does wish it didn’t come to that.
The Osaki clan had been dissolved and absorbed by other yakuza clans. The organization seems to be doing well now. You could only hope for further success.
You were now hosting another dinner party, in honor of Taeyong. It was something you should’ve done a while ago, but you didn’t. However, some things are just better late than never.
You sat eating dinner, laughing and enjoying with all the members of NCT and their partners. You took a bite of the fish that the chef prepared, and immediately felt the urge to throw up. You shook your head, trying to excuse yourself to the bathroom.
You rushed out of there so fast, trying to find a toilet to spill your guts to. You heard someone call out after you, but you couldn’t tell who it was. You made it to one of the first floor half bathrooms, and just puked your guts out into the toilet.
“(y/n),” Taeil’s wife exclaimed as she saw you puking, she began to gather your hair holding it back for you. “What happened? Were you drinking?” you shook your head while continuing to puke. Taeil’s wife hummed, deep in thought, “(y/n), when was your last period?” You lifted your head, and looked at her with horror. “I could be wrong, I’m just guessing, I’ll get Taeil to pick up a pregnancy test, I’m probably wrong anyway.”
-
The dinner party was yesterday. You now sat on your bed, in the bedroom, holding the positive pregnancy test in your hand. Taeil’s wife by your side, “do you know whose it is?”
You looked up at her, “it can only be his,” you turned to look at the picture of Taeyong on your nightstand. ‘The baby could only be his.’
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taglist:@morkleetrash@happygirl327@iveivory@scuzmunkie@neocityfile@b1kon131@huskyhunny@sparklygrass@keemburley@imbumkyung@gordorio@a-bts-world@pastel-boy-sungjae@tyongf-sunflower99@floweronacloud@hufflepanda221b@maddypool31@terjeno@spideyweirdo@bbh-bambi@straykidsftnct@xxxx-23nct@pfftbella@mariaelizabeth21-blog1@aaasteroidsky@mariamaravilla@daydreamingallthetime-world@httpmuffin@justineasian@just-another-secondary-character@sporadiccookiebagel@morklee02@livpinkz@bangtan-jam@sekshi-namjas@ilumark@jjhmk@adventuresofrose@silent-potato
A Racer’s Heart
Preview
F1Driver!Jeno X Reader X F1Driver!Jaemin
Genre:love triangle, co-workers to lovers
Word Count:700+
Warnings: none yet
Authors Note: netfilx recently released season four of formula 1 drive to survive, so that is where the inspiration came from. Idk where this is gonna go yet and Idek when I’m gonna release it. But lmk what you guys think. Hugs and kisses to anyone reading <3333
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Formula One (also known as Formula 1 or F1) is the highest class of international racing for open-wheel single-seater formula racing cars sanctioned by the Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile (FIA). The World Drivers’ Championship, which became the FIA Formula One World Championship in 1981, has been one of the premier forms of racing around the world since its inaugural season in 1950. The word formula in the name refers to the set of rules to which all participants’ cars must conform. A Formula One season consists of a series of races, known as Grands Prix, which take place worldwide on both purpose-built circuits and closed public roads.
You started working with the NCT team as a paid content creator. Meaning you just followed them around taken footage to use to post on their social media. Now you are the public relations manager, this was gonna be your first season as PR manager. Almost your fourth season with the team though. And of course this is a big season for NCT, they’re in the running for winning the constructors this season.
NCT had two perfect drivers, both on their fourth season with the team. Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin, both drivers, performed amazingly last season. NCT had only lost the constructors championship by 15 points last season, which is the closest they had gotten in over the 8 years of being in Formula 1.
The first race of the season was set to happen this weekend. Jaemin and Jeno were already going through testing in Bahrain. You had just arrived at the paddock in time for the drivers press conference. Jaemin was set to go first, he would be accompanied by the Mclaren’s Norris, and Ferrai’s Leclerc.
-
“I have a question for Jaemin,” the reporter raising his hand started off, “NCT is expecting their first constructors, should we also expect you for your first drivers championship this season?”
Jaemin laughed, he had this dazzling smirk displayed, “only time can tell. We’re just gonna race one race at a time.” Perfect, Jaemin gave a respectable answer, that should not cause any controversy.
You gave a small thumbs up to Jaemin, to which he responded back with a smile. You stayed for the rest of the press conference, in which Jaemin was perfect at every question. He kept his answers short, didn’t disrespect anyone, used all the proper language. You thought if everyone else could do the same for the rest of the season, your job is gonna be easy.
-
Now it was time for Jeno’s press conference, he was joined by Mercedes’ Russell, and RedBull’s Verstappen. “I have a question for Jeno. Your contract is up at the end of the season, are we gonna see some seating changes?”
Jeno laughed, “isn’t it a bit early,” he spoke with a tone of disbelief. You cringed at his responses, he wasn’t wrong but you feared how the reporter would explain what he says, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t know yet to be bluntly honest. Me, and my team are aware that my contract is up at the end of the season, but we haven’t begun contract talks yet. We’re just here to race and win this weekend.” You let out a breath at Jeno’s explanation.
He almost gave you a heart attack with that, but you looked at the reporter and he seemed to take Jeno’s answer nicely. You reminder yourself to have a talk with Jeno, that no matter how stupid the question is, we need to answer in the nicest possible way.
-
It was Sunday, race day. You stood in the paddock staring at one of the screens watching both boys line up for the race. Jeno had P3 and Jaemin was P4. Either boys finished as high up as they wanted but P3 and P4 was a good starting place.
1
2
3
4
5
“And it’s lights out in Bahrain,” the announcer said through the tv screen. Jeno had a good start, easily pulling away, gaining an early lead in the race. Jaemin ended up falling behind to P6.
You sat on the edge of your seat watching the two boys, your heart pounding in your chest. You, Jaemin and Jeno all started with NCT during the same season. The three of you came in all wide eye rookies in your own respective fields. Now you guys are nearing the top.
You didn’t care who won the race as long as it was one of them. As long as it was one of your boys that held the trophy, you were gonna be happy.
Meant To Be Series
Very loosely based off of the song Meant to be, in the musical Heathers. Also very loosely based off of the tiktoks I’ve seen of said song.
Authors Note: I am not in any way trying to romanticize the behavior portrayed in these stories, it’s purely for entertainment purposes. Also Idek when any of these stories are gonna be written. Hugs and kisses to anyone reading <333
I can’t make this alone! Finish what we’ve begun!
Johnny x Reader
Warnings: Mature themes, abusive relationship, toxic behavior,
Word Count:TBD
Synopsis: You and Johnny had been together for years, basically growing up together. The two of you grew very dependent on each other. Neither of you knew who you were without the other person. However, now you want to explore this. To be your own person, to be independent. To be someone without Johnny by your side. You wanted to try being single for a little while. Johnny didn’t like this though, threatening you with everything he had against you.
Release Date:TBD

You were meant to be mine! I am all that you need!
Jaemin X Reader
Warnings: Mature themes, abusive relationship, toxic behavior,
Word Count: TBD
Synopsis: Jaemin was confident, borderline cocky, but you could understand why. A guy that pretty, that charming, that good in bed, there wasn’t really any reason for him to be insecure. Jaemin was a complete package, and he knew it. He always used it against you, saying that he was all you ever needed. Even when you told him that you just wanted to have a girls night out, he said you didn’t need them. “I’m all you need,” was his words.
Release Date:TBD
You carved open my heart! Can’t just leave me to bleed!
Jungwoo X Reader
Warnings: Mature themes, abusive relationship, toxic behavior, mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm,
Word Count:TBD
Synopsis: Jungwoo was always considered a nice guy. He was kind, charming, sweet, and purely just the most sensitive person you had ever met. In the beginning it was very nice, Jungwoo wasn’t one of those toxic masculine guys. However now, it felt like you couldn’t even leave him alone for more than two minutes. He clung to you, never allowing you to go out alone. Even now when you tried to leave, Jungwoo wouldn’t allow it, threatening to hurt himself if you did.
Release Date:TBD
Can we not fight anymore’ Please, can we not fight anymore’
Jisung X Reader
Warnings:Mature themes, abusive relationship, toxic behavior,
Word Count: TBD
Synopsis: You and Jisung fell in love fast, so fast that it had to be destiny. It was written in the stars that you and Jisung were meant to be. You guys were made for each other. Jisung was made for you, so you could write the little things off. Like how he ignores all of your pleas for affection. Or how he chose to spend time with his friends over you. Or how he would never argue with you, just instead telling you to let it go. You could write all of those little things off, because Jisung was made for you. It’s written in the stars.
Release Date:TBD
Sure, you’re scared, I’ve been there. I can set you free!
Jaehyun X Reader
Warnings:Mature themes, abusive relationship, toxic behavior, gaslighting
Word Count:TBD
Synopsis: Jaehyun would chip away at your sanity little by little. Telling you that what happened, didn’t actually happen. Telling you all the sweet little lies that you wanted to hear. Jaehyun always did make promises, but then turned around and claimed he never agreed to that. He would always claim that you must’ve been talking to someone else. He was even doing it now, when you told him that he promised to take you out tonight.
Release Date:TBD
Don’t make me come in there! I’m gonna count to three!
Jeno X Reader
Warnings:Mature themes, abusive relationship, toxic behavior, mentions of domestic of violence
Word Count: TBD
Synopsis: Jeno always did have a bad temper. He always told you that he would work on his temper. That he would try better. That it was the last time, that he would be better. And it was, or at least it seemed like it was. He was being nicer, sweeter, he was being Jeno. But it seemed as this time he was really on edge. Locking yourself in the bedroom away from him didn’t seem to help either.
Release Date:TBD
[17:57]Hendery: Look (y/n) as much as we were friends before, my girlfriend doesn’t feel comfortable with us texting because of how we had a thing with each other.
Hendery: Every time you text me she gets mad. So I have, out of respect for her, I can’t talk to you anymore.
You read the text over and over again, wondering what exactly to think. You knew his girlfriend didn’t like you, you were aware of that. You thought you kept your distance, you thought you were respectful to the relationship, you thought that you weren’t a problem for them. Especially since he chose her.
You made sure you didn’t text often, or too much, or in the middle of the night. You never called anymore, invited him over, asked to hang out. You thought that you weren’t causing problems. You knew she didn’t like you, and you could understand why. Hendery liked you before her, he flirted with you before her, he was friends with you before her, he knew you before her. You understood her not liking you, but to make him end the friendship that was built up over years, really?
‘We were friends before.’ You thought you guys were still friends, you thought that you were the friends that didn’t need to talk everyday, you thought you guys would always be friends. ‘Out of respect for her,’ what about respect for you? All the time you guys spent together meant nothing? All the times you told each other, you loved each other, worthless? All the times you guys supported each other? All the moments you shared together mean nothing now? Do you not mean anything to him anymore?
You felt the tears roll down your face, you wanted to laugh. You were the infamous, ‘girl best friend.’ You were at a loss for words, you knew as much as you love Hendery that you would never go after him while he was in a relationship. You knew what was appropriate, you knew your place, you made sure not to cause an issue. At least you thought you did. At least you thought you did it right. At the very least, you thought you could stand on the sideline and still call him a friend. You were prepared to do that for the rest of your life, because you weren’t in love with Hendery, you just loved him like a good friend.
You: you know what, fuck you Hendery.
My Duty As Princess
Chapter 6
Lee Jeno x fem reader
in collaboration with@urlocaltrash28
preview, 01, 02, 03, 04,05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10, epilogue
Genre:arranged marriage au! royalty au!
Warnings:explicit language
Word Count: 4.9K
Authors Note: this week has not been it for me honestly, but nonetheless Jeno. hugs and kisses to anyone reading <3333
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When you finally woke up, it was dark outside. Jeno’s arms were wrapped around you. You had half a mind to close your eyes and fall back asleep, but there was a phone on the nightstand. You reached out for it to check the time of 9:23 pm, glanced out the window, and thought ‘the day is over anyway.’ Closing your eyes again, going back to sleep already, you felt safest here, in his arms.
When you opened your eyes again, there was daylight shining into the bedroom. You still felt Jeno’s arms around you. Reaching out for the phone to check the time, it was 7:31 am. You decided it was time to finally get up. Sliding out from under Jeno’s arms, you left the bed, grabbed one of Jeno’s jackets, slipped it on, and quietly exited the room. You were making your way to your own chambers.
When you got there, you pushed open the doors. The room looked exactly like when you arrived. Going to the bedroom, pushing those doors open, you looked around the bedroom area. The bed was made, your phone sat on the nightstand, plugged in. It looked as if nothing happened. You grabbed your phone, checking the notifications: a few missed texts, but it was mostly social media. Shoving the phone into a jacket pocket, you went into your closet. You looked for a more appropriate outfit, instead of Jeno’s sweats. You were so deep in thought of what to wear, what outfit will make it seem like nothing happened, you didn’t notice the other person.
“What are you doing here?” a voice asked, you whipped around to see Jeno standing in the bedroom, looking at you. His voice, lower than normal, almost sounded rough. His hair was flat, almost covering his eyes completely. He wore a hoodie with some sweatpants, his hands shoved into the hoodie pockets. He looked so comfortable, so relaxed, so informal, but for some reason, you felt so intimidated. He had this way about him that made you feel small.
“I just wanted some clothes,” you tried to sound calm, and unbothered, but you felt the wavering of your voice.
“Fei or Mei could’ve got your clothes from here,” Jeno made his way towards you, pulling at your waist, “you didn’t need to come here yourself.” Jeno pulled you close, he was pressed against you, standing in your closet.
You felt your heart start to race. “I know,” you let out a breath, not daring to meet Jeno’s eyes. His fingers pulled at your chin, raising your face to look at him. “I didn’t want to trouble them some more,” you felt the urge to say more.
Jeno nodded, let go of you, and took a step back. You let out a breath as you watched him go. “Grab what you need, and we’ll take it back to my room,” Jeno said as he walked out, leaving you in the closet. You took a moment to catch your breath before grabbing the leather duffle bag, and about four days’ worth of clothes; you also neatly folded a dress, just in case. After packing the clothes, you grabbed some of your makeup, and some shower stuff too, shoving it all in the bag.
When you finished, you made your way into the seating area, to see Jeno sitting on the couch, playing on his phone. You cleared your throat to grab his attention. Jeno turned his head to look at you, standing, shoving his phone in his pocket. He made his way around the couch, towards you. He reached out for your bag and you handed it over. You never would’ve thought that you enjoyed watching the way he moved, or how he took control, or how he was gentle with every gesture. There were many things about the prince that you love. Jeno took your bag into one hand and interlaced your fingers in the other. The two of you walked hand-in-hand back to his room. It was never discussed, but it was like the two of you just fell into this routine of being a couple. When you guys got back to his room, a pinging noise from Jeno’s phone started to go off. He set your bag down on the bed. You looked at him expectantly. He pulled out his phone, examining the text. You watched as his face changed, reading the texts over. He looked up at you, the look in his eyes held so many unidentifiable emotions.
“I’ve got to go,” Jeno looked at you, now looking worried, “are you gonna be okay?”
You nodded your head, not trusting your voice to reassure him. Why does he care so much?
“I’ll send someone up here so you’re not alone,” he was rushing and you nodded, not wanting to keep him. You realize that he’s worried about you because you quite literally almost died. He came up to you, kissing your forehead, just like it was a routine thing to do. You felt your heart pounding against your chest. He opened his mouth to say more, but then he closed his mouth, opting not to. You watched as he made his way to the door, all but running out. He stopped at the chamber doors and looked back to you, “I’ll be back soon,” he said, before exiting, now jogging down the hall.
You looked around the room. It felt so cold now. Abandoning the bag, you walked into the seating area, looking around there. You remembered the first time being in Jeno’s chambers alone. It felt like a lifetime ago. You walked to Jeno’s desk, papers still scattered around. The last time you were here, there wasn’t a laptop, but now it was laid out on the desk. There was something missing too: the picture. The picture of him and Jisoo wasn’t there. Instead, it was a picture of Hades, sleeping on the couch. There was a person behind him. You examined the new picture closely, realizing the person laying on the couch behind Hades was you. It was from the day Jeno gave you Hades. You lay on the couch, Hades curled up by your stomach, sleeping peacefully. You must’ve dozed off for a minute, not remembering Jeno ever snapping a picture. Your face wasn’t in the picture, but you could tell it was you because you remembered that top you wore. You smiled to yourself, feeling pride that your picture, even though no one would be able to tell, sat on Jeno’s desk. You wondered when he even had the time to print it out, or frame it, or why he did it, but you were happy he did nonetheless.
-
As I walked the princess back to my own chambers, my phone started to go off. I put her bag down on my bed, looking at it.
Jaemin: The guy is talking
Jaemin: He wants to speak to you
Jaemin: He says he’ll talk to you or the princess
Taeyong: Come down to holding
I was confused as to why this guy wanted to talk to me. “I got to go,” I said to the princess. I really didn’t want to leave her, but had to. “Are you gonna be okay?”
She nodded. I want to stay and I feel like I should. “I’ll send someone up here, so you’re not alone.” She nodded again. I came up to her, kissed her forehead. The three-word phrase of ‘I love you’ wanted to escape my lips, but I couldn’t get myself to actually say it. I turned back around before exiting. I have to say something to stop myself from looking weird, “I’ll be back soon.”
As I nearly ran down the hall, I think about how I should’ve said it. I can go back and say it. No, I didn’t say it, I can’t just go back to say just that. What if I’m love-bombing her? How do I know I love her? She nearly died, and now I can’t stand the thought of being in a world where she doesn’t exist. Is that love? Is loving someone feeling like you want to shield them from the world? Is loving someone feeling like they are who you should spend all your time with? I loved Jisoo, but I always knew I could live without her. Now I don’t know if I could live without the princess. I should’ve said it. Why didn’t I say it? She knows I feel that way, I told her I felt that way, right? I should’ve just said it.
I almost forgot where I was going, finally making it down to the underground level, the holding: a place that hasn’t actually been used in decades was constructed when the palace was built as a place to hold prisoners. It was for when attacks on royals were a weekly thing, but I don’t think there has been an attack since before the war. I looked to one of the guards that were down here. “Can you send the princess’ maids to my chambers please?”
The guard nodded and left awkwardly, probably thinking that finding maids wasn’t in his job description.
I entered the room. It had been renovated, everything in the room looked like a modern police integration room. Mark, Jaemin, and Johnny were standing, watching the interrogation through a window. Taeyong had just entered the room through another door, wiping blood from his hands.
I made my way to the window, looking at the guy on the other side. He was handcuffed to a chair, his face so badly beaten. It didn’t look like the same guy that I pulled the mask from. What happened?
“He was being rude,” Taeyong said, watching me observe the guy. It was like he heard the voice in my head asking questions, “he should learn to be respectful.” Taeyong, my older brother, was so soft, so caring, that I would often forget he was a general. I forgot how scary he could be at times. “He wants to talk to you, and better you than the princess. How is she by the way? I heard she can’t be alone.”
“She’s better than earlier,” I didn’t know what to say. How would any of us feel having almost been killed?
“It’s gonna take time,” Taeyong nodded, seemingly satisfied with my response.
“Do we know why he wants to talk to me?” I asked, turning my attention back to the guy inside, everyone shook their heads.
“All we know is he entered the palace through the kitchen entrance, and that he isn’t here on his own accord,” Taeyong said, coming to stand next to me.
“Someone planned this?” Why would someone plan an attack on the princess?
“It seems like it,” Taeyong started off, putting together the pieces of the puzzle just as I am, “I don’t think whoever planned this intended to kill the princess, just scare her.” Taeyong now looked at me. He had an idea of who did it, and so did I.
I walked into the room. The guy chuckled when he saw me. “About time, Your Highness,” the guy spit some blood onto the floor.
I pulled a chair that was stranded against a wall, into the middle of the room, across from the guy. “What’s your name?” I wanted to be angry with him, but the more I looked at him, the more I felt pity.
“That doesn’t matter,” the guy chuckled more, “you know, I’ve lived my entire life on the edge.”
“I really don’t have time for this,” I said, getting up from the chair.
“The princess looks stunning when she lays in the moonlight,” the guy paused. I felt the anger roll off onto me. “She looked so helpless lying there.”
I tilted my head back, slowly breathing in through the nose, out through the mouth.
“I wonder if she’s gonna have nightmares about me.” The guy smirked and all the pity I once felt disappeared.
“What do you want?”
“My life was a dance between me and death.”
I sat back down. Apparently, if I’m gonna get anything from him, I needed to listen to his ramble.
“I never thought I would be honored to die by the general prince’s hands.” He isn’t the first to think that, “You know, Your Highness, your family has come to me for many things.”
This statement actually caught me off guard, my family?
“I have lived my life as the criminal for the royal family. The pay for this job is really good though.”
Hansol, that’s the name he went by, I don’t know his full name.
“Your father asked me to find your mother a kidney one time. That was a very messy task; I don’t care for the amount of blood that comes with organ harvesting.”
Mother was sick for six months, with kidney failure. “The former queen, that lady, she’s scary, had me run my car through a business. No one was hurt though, luckily.” He smirked while saying the last word, almost like he could have hurt someone if he wanted to.
“I don’t need to hear this,” I got up again. I should be with the princess, not down here, listening to nonsense.
“But this task,” I started to make my way to the door, “scaring the princess,” I stopped, hand on the door, “that was the first time he came to ask for my help. Pretty young too.”
Maybe I misheard.
“Aren’t the two of you close, as well?”
Who is he talking about?
“Jisung said he was just helping his sister.”
I felt my heart sink, the young boy, Jisung was like, no, he was a little brother to me.
“Don’t be too mad at him, said he was doing this for her; she didn’t want her to get her hands dirty.”
Of course, it was her! Anyone with half a brain could tell that she wanted the princess gone. “The boy did say not to hurt the princess, just scare her, make her want to leave Northcy.”
“Then why did you?” I was still facing the door not trusting myself.
“She looked so helpless, I couldn’t stop myself, almost thought about taking more of her,” he laughed out loud.
I left the room, not wanting to hear anymore. If I would’ve heard one more word, his head would be separate from the rest of his crooked body. After closing the door, I had to stop to breathe. Jaemin placed his hand on my shoulder. I doubled over, feeling the urge to throw up. I don’t even know what I would throw up; I haven’t eaten anything yet.
“His background checks out, he’s telling the truth about who he is,” Taeyong said, holding his phone, looking at me. I stood up straight, gaining my composure, “bring in the Park siblings, have them separated,” Taeyong told one of the guards standing by the door.
“I need to go.” I should’ve stayed with the princess.
“Jeno,” anyone could hear the worry in Jaemin’s voice. He always did know me best.
“I’m gonna go.” Even though I felt like shit, I needed to do what was best for the princess, and that wasn’t lingering in the basement. She needed me.
-
You had changed out of Jeno’s sweats, into a turtle neck with sailor pants. Whatever part of your neck still showing was covered with concealer and powder. You were standing in Jeno’s bathroom, staring at your reflection in the vanity mirror. You changed, did your hair and your makeup. You finally thought that you looked normal as if you weren’t the victim of a vicious attack. You looked around the counter and the rest of the bathroom, realizing you made a mess. Every outfit you put on and tore off was thrown around the bathroom, the countless makeup wipes you used from removing and reapplying, the plethora of bobby pins and hair ties thrown all over.
“Damn it, damn it,” you mumbled to yourself, pulling the bag from the floor, shoving clothes inside, “Jeno’s gonna be furious.”
“Why am I gonna be furious?” As if your life was a movie, Jeno walked into the bathroom, hands shoved into his hoodie, looking around the room.
“I’m sorry, I promise I’ll clean up, it’ll be like I was never here,” the words tumbled out faster than your hands worked to clean.
Jeno chuckled at your distraught figure, kneeling on the floor. With how you acted these past 36 hours, no one would have ever thought you to be a princess. “Princess,” he called softly, pulling you off the floor, “don’t worry about it.” He smiled at you warmly, but you couldn’t look at him, just staring back at the mess you made. “Where’s Fei and Mei?” He gently pulled your jaw, forcing you to look at him.
“I sent them to get some tea, and my schedule for the day.”
“Schedule?”
“Yes, I can’t play victim forever.” You had responsibilities to maintain. “The wedding is just a little over two weeks away and I already wasted a day away.”
Jeno gave you a look, the disagreement written all over his face. He opened and closed his mouth several times. The knock on the chamber doors provided the perfect interruption for him. You pulled away, walking into the seating area to see Mei standing with a tray of tea and Fei with a paper in her hand. “Yes?”
“Your tea, Your Highness,” Mei stated with a bow, moving to set the tea on the coffee table.
“I have requested your schedule with Queen Jaeyeon. She said that for today and tomorrow, your schedule will be filled with rest and eating,” Fei said with a smirk. She had told you before she left that you shouldn’t be worried about duties right now.
“That’s good,” Jeno said, coming up behind you, “if you ladies don’t mind, I would like to be with the princess alone.”
“Of course, Your Highness,” Mei bowed, pulling Fei along with her out of the room.
Jeno pulled you into his embrace, his head tilted as he looked at you and smiled.
“What?” You felt embarrassed by all his staring.
“Let’s go out,” his body felt so warm against yours, “we’ll do anything you want today,” the idea of spending your day with him felt too good to be true, “let’s just get out of the palace.”
You couldn’t help but nod at the suggestion. “Good, I’ll go change.”
You watched Jeno walk back into his room, thinking back to the mess on the bathroom floor. Making your way there, you began picking up the clothes tossed aside, shoving them back into your bag.
Jeno caught you in the middle of cleaning, “leave it, princess. I really don’t mind the mess.”
You looked at the prince that now stood over you. He wore an all-black outfit: jeans, a plain tee, and a leather jacket. He was so simply handsome, you thought.
He pulled you up, interlacing your fingers and kissing the back of your hand. You and Jeno made your way to the garage and hopped into his car. You had no idea where you would be going, but you enjoyed the ride.
You arrived at a cathedral, standing outside, looking up at the massive building in awe. The architecture of the building was beautifully done. You looked back to Jeno, who stared at you instead of the building. “Why are we here?”
-
Northcy’s cathedral, I found myself driving there as we left the palace. I felt my phone buzzing the entire way. I knew it was Jaemin, but whether it was an update or a check-up I didn’t know. I pulled up right outside the main entrance of the building. The princess stepped out, taking in the beautiful site. It never failed to put people in awe.
“Why are we here?” she turned back to look at me.
In all honesty, I don’t know why I felt the need to drive here. “Beautiful isn’t it?” I nodded towards the building, making my way towards the princess.
“It is,” she looked at me expectantly.
I had to answer her question. I grabbed her hand, leading her up the steps into the building. “This is where the ceremony will take place,” I said as I entered. It was my family’s tradition to be married here.
“Cathédrale du Nord,” the princess read the inscription on the side of the building, she stood just in the doorway.
“It just means cathedral of the north or something along the lines of that.”
She nodded, finally entering the building. “This is where we’ll be married,” I don’t know if it was a statement or a question but I nodded anyway. “Didn’t know your family was religious,” statement, this time.
“We’re not, the cathedral was built long before Northcy,” I looked around the building, not recalling the last time I was here, “past generations of my family were religious, having attended mass nearly every Sunday, but that hasn’t happened since before the war.”
“Why?” She looked at me like I was there when they decided to stop attending.
However, my schooling taught me the answers nevertheless, “mass was canceled in the beginning. This place was a shelter for those who had homes on the front line.” Modia and Northcy share a border, which at one time was a free passage, or so the books say. “After a while, I guess my great-great-grandparents just stopped going.”
I don’t know the exact reason why they stopped, the books say war made them too busy, but any believer would argue ‘no one is too busy for God.’
The princess just nodded, looking around the building, I checked my phone finally.
Jaemin: we’re in the middle of questioning the Park siblings.
Jaemin: Taeyong is talking to Jisung, you know Taeyong always had a soft spot for the boy
Jaemin: Taeyong refuses to allow me to talk to Jisoo
Jaemin: Johnny is talking to her, Taeyong says it’s since she doesn’t know him
Jaemin: She threw Jisung under the bus immediately, wtf? This bitch is saying that this is all Jisung.
Jaemin: All the evidence points to Jisung, he made a huge cash withdrawal, Hansol confirmed to meeting with Jisung, there are images of their meeting. This isn’t good.
Jaemin: Mark is gonna talk to her, and pretend he doesn’t know anything yet
Jaemin: Dude now that it’s mark, she’s bawling, wtf? I’m telling you, I never liked her.
Taeyong: Jisung says he’ll confess to everything if we agree that Jisoo gets full immunity from all current and future evidence regarding this case.
My fiancée was almost killed by my ex-girlfriend’s brother and Jaemin had still managed to make me chuckle at his commentary of the situation. Jisung didn’t do this though, he didn’t come up with this idea to scare the princess, this was all Jisoo, right? I type a quick response to Taeyong: ‘No, this has Jisoo written all over it. We can’t allow Jisung to take the fall for this, not yet at least.’ The death sentence is illegal in Northcy, but considering the attack was against the princess, she can have him extradited to Modia and tried there. I don’t know what will happen to him then. I texted Jaemin back as well, ‘I know you didn’t like her.’ As soon as I hit send, it seemed like the flashing dots appeared to show Jaemin typing, his response coming up even faster.
Jaemin: you good? I know you loved her
He was right.
Me: emphasis on lovED
I shoved my phone back into my pocket, turning back to the princess. She was up by the alter while I still stood in front of the doors. She looked absolutely breathtaking up there. The father, priest, pastor, pope, the guy in charge, came out of the woodworks. It seemed he and the princess were exchanging words, I could see her expression fall, I made my way closer to them. When I was close enough to hear.
“You ought to be ashamed of yourself,” the father was angry, “coming here, in this house where many mourned for your war, you dient girl.”
“Father,” I questioned, I knew my tone held a rude, defiant tone, “what is the meaning of this?” I looked at the princess, whose tears were falling slowly. It seemed as if all she did when she was with me was cry and it pained me inexplicably.
“Your Royal Highness,” the priest tone softens, “this girl is not welcomed here, she has done nothing but caused pain for the people.”
“Father, she is my fiancée and the future queen of Northcy, she will be welcomed wherever she pleases to go,” this man was nearly thrice my age, maybe older, I should not be taking this tone with him, “she is the reason millions more won’t lose their lives.”
“Well, she is not welcome here, so long as I am the high priest.” Oh, so he is a priest, glad to know I was correct about one thing.
“Well, father, it looks you’re out of a job then,” I stated, grabbing the princess’ hand pulling her out of there.
“You don’t have that power,” the priest yelled as I increased the distance between us, “only God has that power.”
“No, Father. I have that power because your house lies in my land,” I yelled back, now turning to be facing the man. I was beyond furious, no longer caring about my image, “you’re done, father. You’ll never work as a priest anywhere in my kingdom. There are more priests than just you.” I took a few steps, closing some of the distance between me and him, “I will find another to replace you, and I’ll have God on my side as I do so,” I spoke the last part in a normal voice. The priest was red in the face. Seeing him so angry made my own anger subside.
Turning back around, I led the princess out of the building back into the car. She wiped the tears that had fallen away, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know the father was gonna act like that.”
“It’s fine, not your fault,” she offered me a small smile.
“What happened anyway?” I started to drive, who knows where now.
“Father said I looked familiar, asked if I had been there before. I told him no, I’m not from here. He asked where I was from. I said I was from Modia, and then he recognized me, said I was the Modian princess that the prince was gonna marry. I said yes. He became furious, telling me that it was shameful that I walked where widows of soldiers walked. I should be ashamed of myself.” The princess was struggling to continue on.
“He said ‘dient girl’, what does that mean?” I didn’t recognize the word.
“It comes from a script, ‘le roi unt matent e dient roi, mena son palpel ea mete dit. Pezon nona scape, monne, fonne, infene, sufre de don cupidite.’ It means ‘the king now being a dient king, lead his people to their death. No one was spared: men, women, children, suffered for his greed.’ It comes from a story of a king who became so obsessed with power, that he killed all of his people to acquire their land. The story is meant to teach young royals that we rule over people, not land. We are in this position because they say that it’s okay, and if we abuse that power, like the king in the story, we become nothing but monsters. The story became a Modian favorite, but the word dient was twisted over time; it wasn’t even a word me and my siblings were allowed to mutter. Mother thought it was a dirty word.”
“Oh,” I was at a loss for words. How could I make this better?
“Dient, it’s from an old Modian language that is seldom used and mostly forgotten by the majority. A rough translation of the word is devil.” She paused, calming herself down, “a more accurate translation, it means ‘something or someone possessed by pure evil, only meant to bring pain and suffering to those around them.”
“You’re not.”
“Excuse Me?” The princess looked at me from her seat.
“You’re not a dient girl, you’re not possessed by something evil, you do not cause the people around you pain and suffering. You are not evil,” I looked at the princess, she was staring back at me. I wrapped my hand around hers, “you’re not a dient girl.”
“Thank you,” she smiled, pulling my hand into her lap, continuing to hold it.
We spent the rest of the day out of the palace. I tried taking the princess to places that wouldn’t have lots of people, but it seemed as if wherever we went, there was somebody. Most of the people that saw us were kind, the majority stared, some gave dirty looks, but none were as confrontational as the priest. I had sent a text over to Jung, Father’s butler, about what I said to the priest. Jung confirmed that they will have a new high priest and the other guy will be out of a job before the weekend.
I got another text, this one confirming that a surprise for the princess has arrived. Jaemin gave me continuous updates. Apparently, they brought in Lord and Lady Park. Jaemin says Lord Park was clueless to all of this and there isn’t any evidence suggesting that he or Lady Park had any involvement in it. However, Lady Park did throw Jisoo under the bus, saying that her daughter wanted the princess dead, and it isn’t a surprise that she would go this far. Taeyong says that Lord Park believes Jisung is more innocent than guilty, Jisoo always did have her younger brother wrapped around her finger. But Jisung technically already confessed.
—————-
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My Duty As Princess
Chapter 05
Lee Jeno x fem reader
in collaboration with@urlocaltrash28
preview, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10, epilogue
Genre:arranged marriage au! royalty au!
Warnings:suggestive content, violence, explicit language
Word Count: 5.1K
Authors Note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE ONE AND ONLY LEE JENO. I actually have something for his birthday but it’s in debate about posting it lmaoooo hugs and kisses to anyone reading <3333
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Jeno was hovering above you, your legs wrapped around his waist. You could feel all of him. You threw your head back deeper into the pillows as Jeno started to move faster, deeper. Your hands flew to Jeno’s hair, tugging on strands. You felt his hands gripping your waist. You moaned, the pleasure too intense, your hands dropped to Jeno’s shoulder, clawing at it. Jeno’s hand moved up against your body, wrapping around your throat, squeezing. Too tight, you thought, too tight. You literally couldn’t breathe.
Your eyes flew open. You were still dressed, a masked man hovering above you, hands wrapped around your throat, trying to squeeze the life out of you. You tried to reach up for his face, you tried to scream but all you could do was just gasp for air. You reached for something to hit him with, but your hands couldn’t land on anything. You started to twist and turn, trying to pry his hands off, your legs kicking at the man above you, hoping for the ounce of strength to push him off of you. A knee to the crotch did it; he finally let go of your throat. You fell out of the bed with him, and he tried to grab your body again. You pushed to your feet running to the door, but he gripped your waist pulling you back, throwing you onto the bed. ‘You will need to learn to defend yourself,’ your father’s words rang in your ears. You swung your elbow, hitting the guy square in the jaw.
“You bitch,” he mumbled, causing the fear to run down your spine. He pulled his hand back, slapping you, moving your head with the force. You kicked at him, causing him to stumble back. You broke the doors open.
You pulled open the second set of doors, running to god-knows-where. You felt the man’s presence, felt him behind you, felt him chasing you. ‘I have guards surrounding me 24/7 father, no one would dare to attack me,’ was your retaliation to your father in defense class. You forgot to scream as you run, to scream for help; you didn’t even know exactly where you were running to. You saw the doors to Jeno’s room. You had put a decent distance between you and the guy, but certainly not enough.
You pounded on the door, another memory coming to mind. ‘(Y/n), stop just barging into my bedroom,’ your sister scolded you once, all you could do was hope he was awake. You had a nightmare that night, one of a monster chasing you in the forest. But this was reality, and the other guy was too close. Thinking ‘fuck it, if I’m still alive I’ll apologize,’ you pushed the doors for Jeno’s chambers open. You shoved yourself inside, holding your breath in fear that a single noise could put your life in more danger.
The guy was too close, coming up to the door behind you trying to push it open, trying to get to you. You pushed back, as hard as you could, but you felt the life draining from your arms. Your face was stinging, your throat was tight, your feet burned, your legs were jelly, and all your energy was drained. All you could think was this is it: this is where you’re going to die. This man is gonna kill you.
-
I heard a pounding noise that sounded like it was coming out of my wall. I rolled over in bed, grabbing my phone off the nightstand, looking at the time. It read 2:06 am. Who in the hell is pounding on my door at 2 in the morning? I pulled myself up out of bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I opened the doors to my seating area, giving my eyes a second to adjust. I saw someone, the princess, the moonlight illuminating sweat that dripped down the side of her face, her arms pushing against the chamber doors as if someone else was trying to force their way in.
“Princess,” I called out to her in the darkness of the room. The moonlight was the only thing shining in the room. Relief washed over her when she finally made out my face. Abandoning the door, she rushed over to me. Hiding behind my stance, a man followed behind her. He wore black clothing and a mask around his face, a pocket knife in one hand. “Who are you?”
The man looked to me and then to the princess, then back to me, and ran out the door. “Hey!” I yelled to him. I was ready to chase after him, but there was a tug on my wrist. I looked back to see the princess, her hair a mess, tears running down her face, nightgown torn. She didn’t look like the strong, knowledgeable princess I’ve grown to love; she looked scared, broken, hurt. “Stay here,” my voice was firm with her, I could only hope I didn’t scare her. I took off chasing the man that left my room.
The look back to the princess was only a mere second, so it wasn’t hard to catch up with the guy. I yelled the whole time, probably waking everyone in the palace. By the time I tackled the guy to the ground, Mark and Haechan were behind me. Mark held one arm, Haechan holding the other. Noble families began coming out of their rooms, watching the commotion take place. I pulled the mask off the guy, and I didn’t recognize the face I saw.
“Your Highness,” a palace guard said, gaining my attention. I was the one who started this; I needed to give the order.
“Um, ah, uh. Take him to the holding.” The image of the princess, scared, broken, hurt flashed in my mind. “I’ll be down there in a moment, I need to check on someone,” I directed my attention to the guard, he and his partner nodded, taking the guy from Mark and Haechan’s hold. “Everyone back to bed, nothing to see here,” I announced to the onlookers. I started to make my way back to my chambers where I left the princess. With each step, I started going faster, and before I knew it, I was basically spiriting back to my room.
When I got there, Fei and Mei were in the main area, talking to closed doors. “Princess, please, let us in,” Mei said, her voice strained.
“(Y/n), this is ridiculous; open this door,” Fei’s voice was rough.
“Your Highness,” Mei said when she noticed me standing there. I noticed a blush dance across her cheeks, then remembered my current lack of shirt. Mei trained her eyes on the floor, “the princess refuses to allow us in to see her.”
I nodded. I don’t know what happened, but I do know that she’s afraid. “Call Chan, if she refuses me, she might see him,” it took everything in me to mutter those words. I made my way to the door, knocking softly. “Princess, it’s me, it’s Jeno, will you let me in please?” I leaned my head against the door. I know that, in reality, she had no reason to trust me or want my presence, especially in a moment like this. However, I did hear the quiet click of the door unlocking. I turned the handle pushing the door slightly, only big enough for me to enter. Closing it behind me, I saw the princess shaking like a leaf on the other side of the room. “It’s only me,” I said, my hands raised. I took a step towards her. I just wanna know if she’s okay. “I got him,” I hoped that this would provide any relief. I took a step closer. I don’t wanna scare her. “He won’t hurt you anymore, I promise,” I stood up straight, my hands reaching for her. The princess all but leaped forward, hugging me. I held onto her tightly, resting my chin on her head, afraid that if I let go, she would disappear before my eyes. She was sobbing, and all I could do was shush her and pet her head. How could I let this happen? I made my way to the edge of the bed, sitting down, holding her between my legs, pulling her into my lap.
After a minute of her in my lap, I pulled away to look at her. She stood in between my legs, her eyes were puffy and red, trained on the floor, cheeks were wet from all the tears. Her neck was starting to turn red and purple, her cheek was red too. I reached up to feel, but she flinched and looked away. I recoiled my hand a bit, before returning it to feel the soft skin. Careful not to press too hard, I pulled my fingertips across her neck. More tears rolled down from her eyes, as tears welled in my own. How did this happen? I felt a million and one questions run through my mind, and the more I stared at the princess the more guilty I felt.
“Is this all he did to you?” I felt like all I could see was red. “Please tell me this is all he did,” I asked the princess, my bottom lip shaking. She nodded in response. I stood, pulling her close to me.
“I’m okay,” she whispered into me, “I’m alive.” It’s not enough; her just being alive isn’t enough for me. Something needs to be done.
I opened the door to the rest of the chamber. Mark, Haechan, Jaemin, Chan, Hyunjin, Father, Mother, Fei, Mei, Grandma Lee, and Johnny stood there.
The princess turned in towards me, not daring to look at anyone, or see anyone look at her. “I want him dead.”
“Son, now wait,” Father started speaking, holding his hands up to stop me.
“I want him dead,” I repeated, this time the anger and hurt were evident; tears were rolling down my face. “He nearly killed her and got away with it.” Father’s gaze softened, but he wasn’t convinced. “If you won’t do it, I will,” I said sternly. I’ve never used such a tone against him, but I couldn’t help it.
Father pressed his lips into a thin line, but nodded his head, and turned away, talking to Johnny, Mark, and Haechan. I bent down to the princess, to whisper into her ear, “who do you want?”
“I don’t want anyone, I just want you,” she whispered, her voice was trembling. I just nodded.
“Leave,” I didn’t want to be rude, but I know it came out that way, “all of you, just leave.” I was tired, and my only concern right now was the princess, not any of their feelings. They all silently made their way out of my chambers. I ushered the princess onto my bed. She had stopped shaking, but she still looked scared. I turned around to see Chan lingering, but he was about to leave. “Chan,” I called to gain his attention. Grabbing a throw blanket from the bed, I tossed it to him, “take the couch, it’s better than the barracks.”
He nodded. “Thanks,” was all he could mutter, not that I needed it. I turned back around, closing the doors to my sleeping area. I made my way towards the bed, sliding under the covers next to the princess. As soon as my arms wrapped around her, she buried herself deeper into me, no longer sobbing, but still crying.
Having a moment to just breathe after such a long and exhausting day felt unreal. All of the day’s events finally sunk into my mind. The woman who was torn from her home had an undoubtedly traumatic response in this place where I should’ve been able to protect her. Attacked, choked, chased through the kingdom in an attempt to escape his claws of abuse and cruelty. It was one of the cruelest things that have happened in this kingdom, but unfortunately, probably, took second place. It didn’t compare to the cruelty of a weak heart.
Jia was born with one. When I was only three, holding her when she was freshly born, my mom told me that, in no instance ever, would it be okay for me to touch her chest or shoulders, in case of hurting her. The memory rushed back to me as if it were only yesterday. It’s probably my earliest, most vivid memory. It was also one that I tried so hard to suppress but had been coming back recently. Something about (Y/n) is opening my heart, which many would say is good, but it also means I have to face these horrific events I spent years convincing myself didn’t happen: I didn’t have a sister. I didn’t spend countless nights by her hospital bed, gently prodding her to eat something, anything, even if she felt like she couldn’t keep it down. She wasn’t hesitant to eat even plain bread because she didn’t want to throw up in front of her older brother, arguing that it was ‘unladylike.’ I didn’t have to hold her hair back while she wretched into a bucket, whispering affirmations that she was doing well. I didn’t have to convince not only her but myself that she would recover. She didn’t have a hard time with strength and stability; she could walk to her bathroom without a walker or my arm to lean on. She wasn’t holding onto dear life through feeding tubes at the mere age of twelve. Her heart didn’t finally give up on her, even after we tried all of the medicines and natural recovery systems known to man…
-
“Jeno?” Your soft, questioning voice brings him out of his haunting thoughts.
“Yes, princess?” He whispers back, voice hoarse and filled with a melancholy tone that you never expected to hear from him.
“Are you okay?” You ask gently, sitting up, looking down at Jeno. If it weren’t for that simple question, he wouldn’t have even realized that tears were rapidly falling from his eyes. He hadn’t felt himself cry- let himself cry- for countless years. You turned on a small lamp and fetched the tissues, gently pressing them to the apples of his red cheeks.
He nods a bit. “I-I’m sorry…” he takes a deep breath and continues. “I h-have a lot of stuff I haven’t told you… I don’t really have the energy to tell you right now, but I’m just feeling a lot of things right now.”
You smile softly and help him sit up, letting him use tissues for his nose. “I understand,” you feel your own eyes start to get wetter again.
Jeno chuckles softly and wipes your eyes in return. He never saw himself in the arms of a princess he was arranged to marry, crying over shared sadness, but here he was, being more vulnerable than he had since he was fifteen. It was a special yet bittersweet moment, and you both knew it changed your perspectives of each other greatly. Nothing would be the same after this.
Even after a couple of hours laying in silence next to Jeno, you could still feel the evil hand around your throat. You hated that you laid in Jeno’s arms without apologizing to him, hated that you couldn’t sleep, hated that you couldn’t stop the tears falling. You wanted to be back home, back in your bed, in your untorn pajamas, in your palace, in your kingdom, where you weren’t attacked. You wanted to feel safe.
Jeno’s arms only provided a semblance of safety. Jeno: sweet, kind, loving Jeno. The prince you have grown so fond of, the prince you fell in love with, the man willing to become a murderer for you. The words ‘I want him dead’ and ‘if you won’t, I will,’ weren’t exactly what you wanted to hear, but it would be a lie to say they didn’t offer some kind of comfort, in their own twisted, wicked way.
You thought Jeno had dozed off hours ago, but when you looked up at the prince that lay next to you, you saw his eyes half-open, staring back at you. “You’re up?” you questioned the prince, in a voice that was softer than a whisper.
“Couldn’t sleep,” Jeno’s voice was deep, the noise almost registering too low for your ears.
“I’m sorry.”
“Princess, you don’t need to apologize for what-”
“Not for that,” you cut Jeno off, the need to say this weighing too heavily on your mind, “for how I treated you a couple of nights ago.” You needed to make this right. “I was jealous of yours and Jisoo’s relationship, and so I pulled Chan into it.” You stopped, trying to collect all your thoughts, what to say to make this right, but there was only one thing to say: “I’m sorry for how I treated you, it was unfair.”
“I’m sorry as well, princess. I had no right to act the way I did,” Jeno offered a small smile. “I want you, and only you. I don’t get to have it all, nor do I want it all. I’m done playing both sides.”
You offered Jeno a small smile, pushing closer to him. He tucked a few strands of hair behind your head looking at you with so much love. It hurt. He was hurt, you could tell in his eyes: he was hurting, you were hurting.
“Please,” Jeno closed his eyes, almost willing his request away, “please tell me what happened, I need to know.”
You were gonna pull away, but Jeno’s grip on you tightened. You looked at him again, looked into him, unable to understand why he was so hurt.
“Why?” Was all you could come up with.
“I just need to know,” Jeno looked into you, “if not tonight, sometime later, tell me what happened, please.” He didn’t want to push you into anything you were uncomfortable with, but not knowing exactly what happened was gnawing at him.
“I don’t know…I don’t know everything, when I woke up, he was on top of me, choking me. I kicked him, shoved him off, ran to your room, and then you know.” Your cheeks felt wet again, you looked up at him, tears rolling down his cheeks onto yours, “that’s all I remember.”
“I’m sorry.”
You wonder why he says such a phrase. Why was he sorry? He had no reason to be. He couldn’t have known what was going to happen. It was impossible for anyone to predict, but he felt guilt swimming in his gut. You were already forced to come here, to start a new life with new people in new surroundings. The least he could’ve done was to make sure you were secure. A mere snap of his fingers would bring an entire army to stand outside your chamber doors, but he didn’t think to do it, and now, you had to go through the trauma of a near-death experience.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, I’m sorry I wasn’t there, I’m sorry I let this happen.”
Now it was your turn to cry again, not once in the several hours did you ever think to ever blame Jeno for the events of tonight. You wrapped your arms around Jeno’s neck trying to pull him closer as if that was even possible. He felt like your lifejacket in the middle of freezing cold, endless ocean.
“It’s not,” you felt Jeno’s arms wrap tighter around your waist. “It’s not your fault, this isn’t your fault.” You took Jeno’s face in your hands, the sunlight starting to come into the room through the window. Jeno’s eyes were red, hurt, you wanted to ease his pain. The two of you lay there staring at each other, both of you broken, hurt, and trying to ease the other pain. After an hour of silence, you finally felt the sleep consuming you, trying willfully to keep your eyes open, to stare back at Jeno for just a little longer.
“Sleep, princess,” Jeno whispered to you. Your body betrayed you, your eyes feeling heavier before they completely closed.
-
“Sleep, princess,” I whispered. Her eyes closed. Finally, she was sleeping. In these past several hours of laying with her here, I had hoped she would just sleep, but she fiddled her fingers, observed my room, studied my figure; she did everything but sleep.
She was only sleeping for maybe ten minutes, and I felt my eyes become heavy, but there was a knock at the door that pulled me from sleeping. I tried to move out from under her without waking her. I longed for her arms around me again when I stood from the bed. I pulled the covers over her, kissing her head. I made my way to the door, opening it only enough to push outward. On the other side of the door stood Jaemin, Mark, and Haechan. Chan must’ve left a while ago; the blanket that I tossed to him was folded on the couch.
“How is she?” Haechan asked, showing genuine concern.
“She’s,” I had no words for how the princess was doing, I didn’t even know how I was doing, “she’s alive.” I sat on the couch in the room, Mark sitting on one of the chairs adjacent to me, Haechan and Jaemin remained standing.
“The guy is in holding, Taeyong is on his way home already,” Mark informed me of the facts. “Taeyong said that he and Johnny will see to questioning the guy personally.” There was another knock at the chamber doors this time, gaining everyone’s attention.
“Jaemin, can you?” He nodded, going to open the door. Taeyong wasn’t supposed to be back until the day before the wedding; I should thank him for coming home early for this. Jaemin was whispering to whoever was on the other side, refusing to let them in, I assumed. “Jaemin, who is it?”
Jaemin sighed, stepping aside letting that person in. In walked Jisoo, her head hung heavy, which was weirder than ever. “What do you even want?” Jaemin hissed out to her. The two of them never seemed to get along. I wanted to laugh; them not getting along was once my biggest problem. Now it seems so insignificant.
“I just want to talk,” Jisoo looked with sad eyes, the same sad eyes she would use when I denied her invitations to parties, “to Jeno,” she directed her attention to me now, “privately, please.” Even if this morning’s events didn’t happen, I don’t think I would speak with Jisoo.
“Now’s not a good time, Jisoo,” I sighed. Whatever pleading she wanted to do about our relationship, I didn’t have the time for it.
“Please, Jeno,” Jisoo rushed towards me, kneeling before me, hands on my knees, “I just want to explain.”
“What?” I asked, I know it sounded harsh, I know it sounded rude, but I really don’t have the energy to do this right now. I looked at her, more confused than ever.
“He didn’t-,” before she could say some more, I heard this soft voice calling out to me. It was a whine, almost a sob. It sounded like the princess. I stood up, turned around, and rushed to the doors of the bedroom. I opened the door to see the princess sitting up on the bed, crying. Jaemin, Haechan, Mark, and Jisoo behind me looked into the room, seeing the princess. I rushed to the bed to grab onto the princess, “hey, hey, it’s okay, I’m here.”
The princess’ cries died down, burying her head in my chest. “I’m sorry,” I could barely hear her whisper into me.
“It’s okay.”
She let out a breath. I didn’t know what to say anymore.
“You’re okay,” was all I knew to say.
She nodded her head, finally calming down enough to stop crying.
I glanced behind me to see everyone standing there, “Jaemin, figure out what she wants to say. Mark, Haechan, make sure no one comes in here unless it’s you guys or Taeyong.”
“Okay,” Mark softly said, the four of them filing out of my chambers. After the doors had closed, I slowly pulled away from the princess, looking at her.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” words tumbled out of the princess’s mouth faster than I could comprehend. She was shaking, sweating, she looked like she ran a marathon. “I didn’t know you were talking to people, I didn’t know you were right there,” she started to breathe heavier, her eyes darting back and forth, not looking at me. “I’m sorry, I…”
“Hey, hey, stop. It’s okay, it’s okay, just breathe.” I started to make her match my breathing, slowing her down. She nodded her head. “What happened?”
“It was just a bad dream,” she said, finally calming down completely.
“Okay,” I said, trying to slow my own heart rate down. I looked at the princess, taking in all of her right now, she was scared. I don’t want her to be afraid; I need to make sure she feels safe. “Do you want to take a shower?”
“Okay,” she whispered, staring at her hands, not meeting my eyes, “but don’t leave me.” The last part was even softer, like saying it caused her pain.
“Never.” ‘I won’t ever leave you again,’ were the words that reverberated in my mind. It was a promise, one that I was determined to never break.
-
Jeno’s bathroom was surprisingly clean. You thought about your brother, whose bathroom always seemed to be a mess, but Jeno’s looked spotless, almost like he didn’t use it at all. You stood in the shower, allowing the water to fall over you. Jeno said that he was gonna be just right outside the door. The thought of being alone terrifies you right now.
Jeno left a pile of clothes on the counter- a pile of his clothes. You refused to let him go to your room and fetch your own clothes. He said he would have Fei or Mei grab clothes from your room, but in the meantime, just wear his clothes. You got out of the shower, dried off, and dressed. Jeno’s shirt didn’t fit him anymore, but it felt like you were swimming in it, same with the sweatpants. The clothes had a lingering scent of him; it was a mixture between his cologne and his soap: a scent so personalized that you could recognize it anywhere.
When you walked out of the bathroom, Jeno was changed into a new set of clothes. He sat on the edge of the bed, using his phone. He looked up, hearing the door open. He smiled at you, making your heart swell. Then his eyes turned sad, “we have to go to the doctor.”
You shuddered at the thought of having even more people looking at you.
“It’s just a precaution, just to make sure everything is okay,” Jeno reached out for you.
You basked in his embrace, nodding your agreement. Jeno gave you one of his hoodies to put on, covering the markings. You allowed him to pull you through the palace, and drive you to the doctor’s office. You didn’t see his guards or your own, or maybe you weren’t even looking for them. Jeno kept one hand on your thigh, a physical reminder that he was still there.
The doctor’s visit went by in a blur. Jeno did most of the talking, while you sat there waiting for it to be over. The doctor said that you needed an x-ray. You looked at Jeno, hoping for a way out; you didn’t want to be left alone. Jeno just rubbed your arm and nodded his head. He followed you to the x-ray machine; the doctor allowed him to be in the room with you. Jeno’s voice was comforting for you, especially in such a hard time.
At the end of the visit when you finally arrived back at the palace, you felt more tired than ever. “I want to take a nap,” you whispered to Jeno softly, making your way up the stairs in the palace. Jeno nodded his head, leading you back to your own chambers.
When you arrived at the door, you just shook your head. You couldn’t go back there, not yet anyway. “What?” Jeno asked, looking at you with concern, not understanding what was wrong.
“Not here,” you walked away from your chambers.
“Oh,” Jeno looked confused, the light bulb not screwed in all the way yet. “OH,” Jeno said again, finally understanding. He led you back to his own chambers, “here better?” he questioned. You nodded to the prince. You were so tired and felt like a zombie. Jeno led you to his bed. It was made now; it seemed that the two-hour doctor visit was all the maids needed to fix and clean the room.
Jeno drew back the covers, for you. Your eyelids felt heavy the second your head hit the plush pillow. “Stay, please,” you whispered, or at least you thought you whispered it, but you didn’t recall hearing a response. In fact, you didn’t recall much from the last few hours.
-
“Stay, please,” the princess whispered, it was softer than a mouse.
“Always,” I don’t think she heard my response; it looked like she fell asleep before I finally responded to her. I smiled. Thank god she was finally sleeping. I sat at the edge of the bed, watching her for a minute, hoping that she would stay asleep. It looked like she was sleeping deeply, something that I knew she was in desperate need of.
I let out a breath and grabbed some clothes out of my dresser, deciding to take a shower. I thought about all the events of the past ten hours, and by god, my body felt exhausted. I finally felt like I could sleep. Jaemin sent me a text earlier with an update: Taeyong got home several hours ago, and he’s already been questioning the guy. Mark and Haechan both are working with Johnny, going over the security cameras, and seeing who wasn’t supposed to be in the palace but was. Father and Mother were working with advisors to keep the incident out of the news, Grandma Lee was meeting with the noble families to make sure nothing got out. Everything I could think of was taken care of. The thought made me let out a sigh of relief.
After my shower, I got into bed, pulling the princess close, and sleep took over. Nothing but everything at the same time felt right.
————–
My Duty As Princess
Chapter 04
Lee Jeno x fem reader
in collaboration with@urlocaltrash28
preview,01,02,03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10, epilogue
Genre:arranged marriage au! royalty au!
Warnings:none (?)
Word Count: 6.9K
Authors Note: This was suppose to come out like last week Saturday, but I was so focused on finishing my history paper that I didn’t post. I’m sorry guys but I hope you can enjoy it now. hugs and kisses to anyone reading <3333
OH YEAH NEW SCENE HERE GUYS
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Dinner was over and Jeno just left you at your chamber doors. “Chan, a word?” You looked to your guard and walked through your doors, him following ensuite.
“Yes, my princess?” He shut the door behind him.
“Chan, it’s me,” you pleaded.
“(Y/n), what’s wrong?” He took a step closer to you, taking your face in his hand.
“You’re not angry with me?” You paused, not finding the right words.
“My princess, are you trying to ask me if I’m okay with you and the prince?” Chan laughed a little, looking at you, pulling his hand away.
“Chan, I’m being serious.” He put his hand up, stopping you.
“(Y/n), I will always love you, but it’s time I step back and let you go,” Chan offered a sad smile, taking a step away from you. You wanted to reach out and pull him close, but your arms wouldn’t move, you felt the tears welling in your eyes.
“Always?” you questioned, wanting him to stay a little longer, “you’ll always love me, even if I love someone else?”
“I will always love you, my princess,” he smiled walking out the door, leaving you to your thoughts. You could feel the tears fall down your face, but you couldn’t even understand why you were crying. You had an amazing day with Jeno; it finally felt like this union was more than a business contract, but you were selfish. You wanted more, you wanted a romance-filled marriage with Jeno, a kingdom to serve, but you also wanted a relationship with Chan, just like back at home. You wanted it all: everything and everyone.
-
Three weeks away from the wedding, everything was finally in order. There were no more meetings with vendors or talking about options you had. The planning was done. There were a few last things to manage, but it was just the finalization of details. Chan and Hyunjin finally stopped following you everywhere in the palace, but they did remain close most of the time.
It was weird to wake up to Mei and Fei delivering you news. Most days, they were cleaning around your chambers as you lolled about in bed after turning off your alarm. This time, though, Mei turned off the alarm shortly after it rang. You furrowed your brows gently, rubbing your eyes as you adapted to the golden sun streaming in through the sheer curtains. “Hello?”
The girls giggled at your response. “Good morning, princess,” Fei greets, adjusting the skirts of her dress.
“G’morning?” It comes out more as a question than a statement or greeting.
“You’re really dragging today,” Mei hums. “Prince Jeno is waiting for you.”
“What? Why?” You sat up, stretching your arms above your head.
“He did not inform us of the details but told us that you don’t need to worry about dressing nicely or anything. A simple dress will suffice.”
You hum thoughtfully, getting up to use the bathroom and freshen up. You were confused as to what he was planning. It couldn’t have been anything with Lords, Ladies, and their families, because professionalism and grace were essential. You brush through your hair, tipping your head to the side as you examine your appearance. It almost felt weird to look at yourself this long. Fei and Mei usually tended to your appearance, and you trusted that they would always do their best to enhance it. Mei entered your bathroom, holding up your hair as Fei clicked your necklace on, the silver crown charm glittering in the lights of the vanity mirror. Mei gave you a simple blue dress with a nice square neckline, showing off your collarbones covered in soft, silky skin.
“You look stunning, princess,” Fei smiles. “Now go,” she all but shoves you out of the room, seeing Jeno as soon as you’re out of the door.
“Hey!” You were trying to scold the woman, but you basically said it to Jeno, since you were looking up at him with wide eyes. You weren’t expecting him to be right there.
“Hey!” He said back to you, just as intensely as you accidentally did. He had a mischievous glint in his eyes, clearly knowing that you didn’t mean to say it to him.
You bow deeply to him to hide the blush on your cheeks, not thinking about how, when you bowed, he would probably be able to see down your dress. However, Jeno most definitely noticed it. He knew it was wrong to look at your chest, but it was an involuntary reaction, especially considering how rarely you showed that area of skin.
“Good morning, princess.”
“Good morning, prince Jeno,” you smiled. “What’s on the agenda for today?”
“You said you wanted to learn how to play the guitar,” he says as if it’s obvious.
“Yes? But I didn’t assume that you would be wanting to any time soon,” you explained. “With the wedding coming up, there are a lot of things to be thinking about and doing.”
“As you know, most of the preparations are in place. We have time for leisure. So, are you ready?”
“I suppose,” you chuckle and follow his lead.
He led you to a small room with large windows which overlooked the blooming garden. It was nearly empty, just a couple of couches and chairs around the room.
“What even is this room?” You ask curiously. You had never been in a room like this.
He chuckles at your question and waves for his servants to come in. They give him an acoustic guitar and a music stand with some sheet music resting on it. “It’s a flex room. It’s just here for when we need it. Otherwise, it’s usually used as a place for the servants to relax,” he explains.
You hum and nod to acknowledge his explanation and get seated on one of the couches. “It’s nice and cozy.”
He smiles and sits next to you, readjusting the music stand and getting his guitar situated in his lap. He thanks the servants and lets them know that they are allowed to leave. “Are you excited to learn?” He grins, strumming casually to make sure the instrument was tuned correctly.
You nod shyly, surprised by how talented he was with it; it looked effortless for him.
“Well, let’s start, then,” he grins and puts the guitar in your lap, taking your hands in his to start you out correctly. You feel small and cared for. His touch was gentle.
“So put your hand here… and here,” his voice was deep but soft, chin nearly resting on your shoulder. “Hold this string down and pluck this one.” You did as he said, and it didn’t sound too bad but was not nearly as good as when he had been playing the instrument. He chuckles softly, the small puff of air causing your skin to prickle. He thought it was really cute to see your fingers fumbling on the strings. Jeno looked even more handsome in the golden sun of the morning. He taught you a few more chords, the small smile on his face never dissipating.
After some time, you were able to put a few different sounds together that sounded decent.
“That sounds good!” He cheers you on. “Are you ready to put them in the proper order?”
You pout at his teasing and look away, back down at the instrument in your arms.
He giggles at your facial expression. “Oh, come on. Don’t be a baby. You can do it. You just have to change the order of them.”
“Fine,” you whine. “What order should I put them in?” He says an assortment of letters and you huff. “I can’t remember which is which by their letters.”
“You just had it,” he gently pinches your arm. “We’ll go slow,” he assures.
“Okayyyyy.” You followed his instructions, eventually getting a tune down. “It’s twinkle twinkle little star!” You gasp excitedly, making Jeno smile widely.
“Exactly. See, you already learned the chorus of a song, after just like an hour.” He gives an I-told-ya-so look and you roll your eyes playfully.
“I’ll admit that you were right.”
“Of course I am,” he grins and wiggles his eyebrows. “Do you wanna do more or are you feeling kinda guitared out for now?”
“My brain feels a bit like mush,” you admit with a shy giggle.
He chuckles. “Fair enough. I’ll let you go back to your plans for the day.”
“There aren’t many, to be honest. I just have some studying to do until dinner tonight.”
“Alright, well try not to bore yourself to death,” he jokes, leading you out of the small room. When the servants asked if they should clean up the room, Jeno said no, and that he intended on using it for the same purpose again soon. He walks you to your room, where your guards and Fei and Mei were awaiting you. You bow thankfully to Jeno who returns the sentiment before walking back to his own chambers.
When dinnertime rolled around, Jeno insisted on walking you to the dining hall. “I can find the dining hall by myself, Your Highness.”
-
Jeno was walking you to dinner once again in the evening. “Princess, don’t take this away from me,” Jeno smirked, looking at you, “this is the only time I’m guaranteed with you.” This walk was the one thing that was a constant in your and Jeno’s schedule.
“Alright then, I’ll grant you the pleasure of escorting me to dinner,” you smirked, teasing the prince. The two of you turned the corner to face Park Jisoo. The sight has the mask falling into place on your face immediately.
“Jeno,” she called out to him lovingly, looking at him with soft eyes.
“Jisoo.” You noticed how easily the name rolled off of his tongue. He never addressed you that way- not once.
She stepped closer, pulling at him, “we haven’t really talked for a minute now,” she sighed, still looking at him, longing for him, “I’ve missed you.” Watching them made your stomach turn.
“I- I’m sorry,” Jeno seemed out of breath, almost afraid to say the wrong thing. Your mask was starting to crack upon hearing his tone of voice.
“I shall leave you two to talk privately,” you said with a smile, “I’ll see you both downstairs.” You walked past them, moving to the dining hall, hoping, pleading that the mask didn’t crack all the way through. Is this what Jeno felt when he saw you with Chan? You wondered how he felt, what he thought. Was he in as much pain as you were right now? You had no right to be angry that his heart belonged to someone else, yours did too. Did, funny how one word makes all the difference. Your heart did belong to Chan; he was your love, your light, your warmth, your heart, back home. But here, here in Northcy, you embraced the cold, the sparkle of snow, the feeling of the wind in your face. Your heart belongs to Jeno now. You didn’t even notice the shift, the change when you finally fell in love with the pretty face Prince, who didn’t have a single thought bouncing around in that head of his.
-
“I-” missed you too, is what I wanted to say but, “I’m sorry,” was what I actually did say. Jisoo, my first love, my high school sweetheart. She was born, bred to be my wife. That wasn’t a secret to anyone with half a brain. Jisoo’s parents were, are, the most powerful noble family, the only thing they didn’t have was royal status. And she was going to be exactly that, my wife.
“I shall leave you two to talk privately,” the princess smiled. It was fake, I could see right through the charade, “I’ll see you both downstairs.” She walked past the two of us, not sparing me a glance; it hurt, I can’t explain why, but it did. I was about to go after her, reach out to stop her, to wait for me, but something was holding me back, someone keeping me here. I looked down to see Jisoo’s hand wrapped around my wrist, stopping me from chasing the princess.
“Jeno, please look at me, talk to me.” I turned to Jisoo. There were tears in her eyes, my heart broke to see her hurt. “You said you loved me. Was it a lie?”
“It wasn’t a lie,” I didn’t know what to say at this point, I loved Jisoo but I love the princess too. I just shared such a sweet, heartwarming moment with her. Very few people cared about me enough to try doing things that I was passionate about. It was probably mostly because life is so busy, but that didn’t make it feel any less special. Princess (Y/n) didn’t see me as a floating crown; she saw me as a person. Could I say the same about Jisoo?
“Wasn’t,” she chuckled at the word, “but it is now.” Tears fell down Jisoo’s face, what do I do?
“It isn’t a lie Jisoo, I did, do love you,” I was scrambling for words at this point, anything to make this right. What do I say?
“Just not as much as you love her,” Jisoo’s voice turned venomous at the mention of the princess. Why would she say it like that?
“Jisoo, I am required to marry the princess,” I felt this invisible crown on my head, weighing my body down. It was almost as if my knees could buckle from the pressure. “I love you, Jisoo.” I do, did at least. “But I cannot continue to see you,” my breathing was even, “I love my fiancée, and I am going to make this marriage work.” I want an actual life with the princess, I want to be there for her, care for her, love her. “For me to do that, I cannot see you anymore, I cannot have two relationships.”
“I can never see you again?” Jisoo’s expression matched the same as the night I broke up with her: angry.
“I didn’t say that,” I was losing my confidence, “I just mean that we can not be sneaking around, meeting in private, you coming to my room late in the night. You and I have to stop.”
“Ha,” she looked away, not meeting me.
"However, it would be best,” the final marker, cutting off someone you spent more than half your life knowing, a quarter of your life loving, “it’s best if all our meetings remain business-related.” Our relationship was over. To say it didn’t hurt me too would be a lie.
I left Jisoo standing alone in the hall and made my way to the dining hall. When I got there, some people were sitting, others were standing and talking in small groups. The food hadn’t been brought out yet, so I made my way to the front of the table where father sat. There the princess sat across from Grandma Lee, the two were deep in conversation.
“I will support Prince Jeno in every decision that he makes, I have no intention of taking his crown from him,” I heard the princess tell Grandma Lee when I got near, “Your Majesty, I agreed to this union because I know that it will be beneficial to my people and my kingdom. No one truly forced me into this, I didn’t argue when my parents presented this to me.” The princess finished her statement.
“I know my grandson,” I paused a little away from the table, hearing Grandma Lee speak, the two not noticing my presence just yet, “he is a good boy but he doesn’t trust easily, and for anything to work between the two of you, there needs to be trust.” Grandma Lee looked at the princess as if she had already committed treason.
“I have gotten to know Jeno in these past few months that I have been in Northcy,” the princess paused, taking a sip of water, “and I truly trust Jeno to do what is best for our kingdoms. If you had asked me when I arrived if I trusted him, my answer would not be the same, but after getting to know him, I have no doubt that he will make a fine king.”
The princess’ confidence in me had blood rushing to my cheeks. Her belief and trust in me fueled my ego. I made my way to the table, taking my seat next to the princess and I looked at her. She’s the girl I’m going to marry, and that thought has never brought me such joy.
-
Dinner sitting next to the prince was anything but calm; your stomach did flips at every bite you swallowed. The way Jisoo and Jeno looked at each other was something you couldn’t erase from your memory. Jealousy, you were starting to become jealous of the relationship Jisoo and Jeno had, the relationship you wanted with Jeno. Jealousy was a nasty little thing that caused people to do nasty stupid things. And you did something very stupid.
Now here you were standing in between Jeno and Chan wondering why you thought this was a good idea. You were stupid, you weren’t thinking and you just wanted to be with someone, so you called Chan to join you in your room around 11 pm, but Jeno wanted to go stargazing. You and Chan were just sitting on the couch, and maybe just, maybe, you kissed Chan, when Jeno walked in. So now here you were standing in between a very disappointed Chan and a very angry Jeno.
“Your Highness, I apologize for the misunderstanding, it seems the princess wasn’t clear,” Chan said bowing to Jeno, you looked at him, utterly shocked he didn’t even attempt to put up a fight. “I’ll be taking my leave now.”
“Chan?” you called out to him as he made his way to the door, “Are you serious right now?”
“Yes, princess. I am serious because you were mad, so you used me,” Chan was furious. Your heart started to race, tears welling in your eyes, palms sweating. This wasn’t your intention. Chan had never in the past three years ever just called you princess, it was always ‘my princess,’ and the lack of one word hurt more than you could ever imagine.
Chan walked out, slamming the door behind him. Jeno started to chuckle after Chan left. “Really, princess?” He looked at you, disgusted. “Need I remind you, you’re my fiancée?”
“Oh please, Jeno,” you were angry, Jeno had no right to judge you, “don’t make it seem you’re in love with me now.”
“Yeah, well at least I wasn’t sticking my tongue down another girl’s throat,” Jeno was starting to raise his voice.
“You didn’t need to,” you matched his volume, “you made it evident who you loved without that.”
“What are you even talking about?” Jeno looked at you, dumbfounded.
“You and Jisoo, don’t pretend you’re not in love with her, Jeno,” you sighed and decided to take a seat.
“Are you serious right now?” Jeno was growing angrier, “you make it seem like you’re in love with me when clearly you don’t care about how I feel. All you care about is your little guard.”
“That is uncalled for,” you practically yelled, pointing at Jeno.
“I’m right though,” he yelled at you, “you don’t love me, you love Chan, always have and always will.”
“Don’t kid yourself Jeno, of course I love Chan and you love Jisoo, that’s that,” you spoke in a normal voice, pulling the mask on.
“I didn’t fool around though,” Jeno said, still wanting to argue.
“Oh yeah? You didn’t?” You heard, not from Jisoo, or Jeno, but from Fei and Mei, “what about all those nights when Jisoo came to your room?” Jeno looked shocked at your knowledge, “don’t act so surprised, you know these walls have ears and eyes,” the mask was cracking. You wanted to cry. “Don’t pretend we could make anything between us work. This marriage, you,” you gestured to Jeno, “is nothing more than my duty as princess,” you were done fighting, not having the energy for this anymore. You left Jeno sitting in the seating area of your chambers walking to the bathroom.
After a moment you heard the door open and close. Jeno left. The tears fell, you just laid in bed crying waiting for sleep to take over.
-
The next day, you were supposed to have breakfast at Jeno’s chambers with him. Instead, you opted to eat in your own chambers. After breakfast, you had a meeting with Queen Jaeyeon and the wedding organizer. The wedding organizer will be in charge on the day of the wedding, allowing you (more like Queen Jaeyeon) to enjoy the day. That meeting took nearly three hours, and by the time it was over, there was only an hour before you had to meet the ladies of the council’s daughters for lunch. You made it back to your chambers, changed your clothes, freshened up your makeup, and went back down to have lunch. The Luncheon was held at one of the many drawing rooms, this room was called the pink room, previously known as the princess room. The walls were painted a blush pink, and the decor was shades of pink with gold accents. By the time you made it to the room, the majority of the girls were there already, just waiting for one or two more. When you looked around the room, at the girls, you noticed only one person was missing, Park Jisoo. Of course, she was late.
“My apologies for being late, Your Highness,” Jisoo walked in the door, smirking as she says her apologies. You thought ‘this bitch can not be serious.’
“You’re here now,” you smiled, the mask was on, “that’s what matters. Please, ladies. Let us all take our seats.”
As soon as everyone was seated, maids brought out the food before long, you sat at the head of the table looking out to every girl there. You had never wished for Queen Jaeyeon ever in your stay in Northcy but right now, right here, you wished she was in attendance.
“Your Highness, are you excited for the wedding?” The question came from one of the girls, Giselle, daughter of Lord Osaki.
“Excited as anyone would be,” You wished this lunch would be over.
“Where will be the honeymoon, Princess?” Yeri asked, daughter of Lord Kim. Her family was in charge of the ports in the country.
“The honeymoon will be pushed back until a better time.” You and Jeno were supposed to travel into Modia after the wedding, so it will most likely be pushed back.
“Are you ready to be queen, princess?” Jisoo asked, her tone was trained.
You were taken back by the question. “I don’t understand the nature of your question,” you said trying to mask the shock in your voice.
“Jeno.” She looked up from her plate, shocked, placing her hand over her heart, “excuse me, I meant Prince Jeno.” ‘Fake’ is all you thought. “Prince Jeno said that King Donghae would be stepping down after the wedding,” she looked at you, the look behind her eyes were taunting, “you and the Prince are to be crowned, correct?”
The grip around your fork tightens a bit as you think about how rude it was for Jeno to tell her instead of you. The crown would be on your head- not hers. “Ah, I understand now,” the mask you wore was stronger than you thought. “Prince Jeno did inform me of this, but as it stands, King Donghae hasn’t made it official just yet.” You smiled. This is your future council, and to hell if you were gonna let someone else run it. “If King Donghae decides to go through with this, then both the prince and I will be honored to take on that duty.” You looked around at all the girls, trying to give a reassuring look.
“Of course, your highness,” she gritted her teeth. It couldn’t be more obvious that she was fake in every corner of her being. That was the last of the questions you got; the girls returned to whispering and talking amongst themselves. No one really talked to you, just giving you looks every other sentence, looking for a nod of approval, one you always gave.
After lunch, there was supposed to be a council meeting in which you were required to attend. There had been many council meetings since the arrivals of all the noble families, many of which you did attend, but this was the first that actually required your attendance. As you left the pink room, there was a voice calling out for you.
“Princess (Y/n),” a girl called from behind you. You half-turned to see her, and by that time she was already next to you, “Zhong Chu-Hua, the granddaughter of Lady Zhong.” She bowed to you, showing her respect.
“Ah, yes, I remember,” you say kindly, unsure as to why this girl needed your attention.
“I see Jisoo has made herself known to you,” Chu-Hua spoke knowingly.
“She has.” The two of you made your way to the throne room, where the council meeting was being held.
“Jisoo and I have known each other since before grade school.” Zhong Chu-Hua was the eldest grandchild of the Zhong family. They owned large amounts of land, were real estate moguls. “Jisoo and the prince were always close, as I am sure you’re aware of.”
“I am.” The two of you made your way across the main foyer, the doors of the dining hall were opening; the Lord’s lunch had ended. They were making their way to the throne room as well.
“I don’t mean to be discourteous, princess,” you stopped to look at Chu-Hua, and she stared directly back at you. “Jisoo will do whatever necessary to get the crown, she doesn’t know what it’s like to lose.”
You smiled at Chu-Hua, then turned and continued to walk towards the throne room, “have not to worry Chu-Hua, I will be quite alright,” you smirked. The two of you came up to the throne room.
You looked around and saw Jeno talking to Mark and Haechan in what appeared to be a hushed voice. You turned more and saw Chan and Hyunjin in the corner. You made eye contact with Chan, but he only looked away. Your heart hurt, you had no intention of hurting Chan the way you did. You let out a breath.
“Are you alright, princess?” Chu-Hua asked, startling you. You almost forgot that she had been next to you.
“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I’m fine, thank you.” Not a second later, the doors to the throne room were fully ajar. Thank goodness. You were getting worried for a second there.
Walking into the throne room, you bid Chu-Hua goodbye as you made your way to the front of the room. You found the prince. No words were exchanged between the two of you. Jeno placed a hand on the small of your back guiding you to the front of the room, the mask pulled onto your face. To anyone looking at you and Jeno, you guys would seem like a normal, loving couple.
You sat in your seat, behind the queen’s throne on the right-hand side. Jeno’s seat was behind the king’s throne on the left-hand side. It was symbolism, to show that you and Jeno were the future. People began taking their seats in the room. Mark and Haechan’s seats were at the front of the room facing the rest of the council, but not on the elevated stage that yours and Jeno’s were. It was a row of three seats. The first remained empty. Mark sat and Haechan next to him. Lord Park’s family sat closest to the front on one side, no one in between them and the throne. Jisoo looked at you and smirked. You fiddle with the crown pendant around your neck, reminding yourself that you’re the princess and have the power.
After everyone had taken their seats, the doors behind you and Jeno opened. The king and queen entered. Everyone, including you and Jeno, rose and bowed to them as they took their seats. When King Donghae and Queen Jaeyeon stood in front of their thrones, the king waved everyone to sit. He began to make a speech after, one you tuned out before it even began. In fact, you tuned out the majority of the meeting, wishing to be in your chambers and away from everyone.
-
I have been in countless council meetings, more often than not they were filled with people kissing up to father in attempts to get grants for whatever venture they want to pursue. I looked over to the princess. She was obviously not paying much attention. We had put on a show for the council before the meeting started, knowing that the members would be watching. I want to reach out to her, apologize for my behavior the other night. I didn’t have much of a right to be mad at her or react the way I did. She loved someone else and so did I. I wanted to- needed to apologize to the princess and Chan. I thought of Chan; he was someone caught in the middle, loving someone he wasn’t allowed to love.
When the council meeting finally ended, we put on another show for the council. Father and mother left behind the door first, with the princess and I close behind. I placed my hand on the small of her back, it looked gentle and kind to anyone else, but she knew it was a show.
“Princess,” I stopped her after the doors closed behind us, “I want to apologize.”
“You had no right,” she stabbed my chest with her finger, clearly angry, “no right at all to make me feel bad for loving Chan, especially when you’re playing both sides.”
“Excuse me?” Playing both sides? What was she talking about?
“You, playing the role of my fiancé during the day and then playing Jisoo’s boyfriend in the evenings. Tell me, Prince Jeno, are you the only one allowed to have it all?”
“What?” All? All of what do I have?
“Am I the only one that has to give up a love, Prince Jeno? While you get to have both?”
No, I don’t get to have both. I don’t want both, not anymore at least. I just want you, Princess, I only have love left for you. She taught me a lot about what it felt like to actually love someone, not be tricked into loving someone. She genuinely made my heart happy. It was something that no one had done for me before- not even Jisoo. (Y/n) walked away before I could tell her any of these revelations I had made, all because of her. She left me standing there, heart in hand.
-
The council meeting was finally over. You and Jeno put on another show for the council. The doors closed behind you, leaving you and Jeno to stand alone.
“Princess, I want to apologize,” Jeno started.
As he should, he was the one that overreacted, he loved someone else, why couldn’t you? “You had no right,” you started to poke at his chest, his firm, nicely built chest, “no right at all to make me feel bad for loving Chan, especially when you’re playing both sides.” You were angry but you couldn’t figure out if you were angrier with him or yourself.
“Excuse me?” Jeno looked clueless. Actually, it was quite adorable, but still.
“You, playing the role of my fiancé during the day, and then playing Jisoo’s boyfriend in the evenings.” You knew Jeno loved Jisoo, knew from the moment you first saw their picture, but today, your anger peaked much more than you expected it to. Jisoo knew information that you should’ve known, that Jeno should’ve told you. “Tell me, Prince Jeno: are you the only one allowed to have it all?”
“What?” You hated this, you wanted to be angry with Jeno, angry with him for how he acted, angry that he continued to see Jisoo, angry that you couldn’t have it all, but you couldn’t help but think if the roles were reversed, would you have acted differently than him?
“Am I the only one that has to give up a love, Prince Jeno? While you get to have both?” No matter how much you love Jeno, you couldn’t get over the fact that he blew up on you because you loved someone else just like he did.
You walked away, leaving Jeno standing there behind you. You wanted Jeno, but you weren’t ready to let go of Chan. Not just yet. After leaving Jeno standing there, you went to find Chan in the palace barracks, hoping that he was there at the moment.
-
When you entered the barracks, all the guards stood to bow to you. At times you loved the power trip you felt when this happened, but at other times, like right now, you hated it. You wished you could be invisible and arrive without it being an ordeal.
“Please, relax, rest,” you stated, waving to them to sit down, “I don’t mean to intrude.”
“No intrusion at all, Your Highness,” Johnny, the captain of the palace guards, said. “May I ask what brings you down here, princess?”
“I came to see my guards, are they here?”
“Yes, Your Highness. Right this way,” Johnny led you through the barracks, to a small room in the back. The barracks were set up like a cabin, with a main sitting area in the front with a kitchen and then halls that lead to different bedrooms. “Right here, Your Highness.”
You pushed open the door to a bedroom that was smaller than your bathroom. A bunk bed was up against one wall and two chairs with a small table set to the other side. Hyunjin laid on the bottom bunk, while Chan sat on one of the chairs, leaning up against the wall.
Hyunjin stood when he noticed you in the doorway. Chan remained seated, the captain had left already. “Princess,” Hyunjin said, bowing to you.
“Hyunjin, please,” you grimaced at him bowing.
“(Y/n),” Hyunjin said apologetically.
“Can you give me and Chan a minute?”
“Of course,” Hyunjin gave you a sad smile. It was obvious that he knew.
You entered the room and took the seat across from Chan. He stood up and made his way to the small window, looking out.
“Chan,” you called to him, hoping he would at least look at you but he didn’t. “It wasn’t my intention to use you.” Chan scoffed, still refusing to turn to you. “But I know you felt like that, so I want to apologize,” Chan looked down, his hands in his pocket. “I love you, Chan.”
“Stop,” Chan turned around to face you, putting his hand up to stop you. “(Y/n), I love you, you loved me.” He had put emphasis on the ‘ed’ part. You felt the tears well in your eyes. You hated how only Chan could bring you to tears in mere seconds.
“Don’t lie, (Y/n).” Chan’s words were stern, borderline hurtful.
“I could never lie to you.” You looked down at your lap, trying to prevent the tears from falling. “That night I wanted to feel how I felt back home.” Chan’s gaze softened. “But I just hurt you instead. For that, I’m sorry.” The tears fell freely. Chan sat across from you and placed his hand on yours in your lap.
“My princess, you know I could never stay mad at you,” Chan smiled, “but I’m not a toy for you to play with.”
“I know that.”
“And not for you to make the prince jealous.”
You looked down back to your lap. “I’m sorry,” was all you could say. Chan pulled you up from your chair, but you refused to meet his gaze. He pulled you in for a hug and you felt more tears fall, crying into his chest for longer than appropriate. Chan put his hand under your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze.
“No more tears, my princess,” he says softly, using his free hand to wipe the tears from your face.
-
Chan walked you back to your chambers, the silence between you two was comfortable. It felt like before. You were just down the hall from your chambers.
“You need to apologize to the prince,” Chan spoke up.
“What?” you looked at him, confused. “Why do I need to apologize to him?”
“You were jealous. You sought comfort from another while being engaged to the prince,” Chan looked at you like you were a child, “Tell me, my princess, if you had walked in on the prince kissing the other girl, would you react differently than him?”
You hated that Chan knew you better than most, hated that he could read every part of you, hated that he always knew where your heart lays. “I do not wish to apologize to the prince,” you said, looking away from Chan, trying to show your superiority.
“My princess,” Chan said, grabbing your wrist. You were in front of your chamber’s door. He pulled you to face him. “Apologize to the prince, he did not do anything to deserve your jealous treatment.” Chan looked at you as if you were a child, making you pout, red rushing to your cheeks; you were ready to throw a tantrum about a stupid apology. “Don’t be a brat, and just apologize, my princess,” Chan smirked, knowing exactly what you were gonna do, “you’ll feel a lot better once you do.” He started to walk away, but before completely leaving you, he turned around, walking backward, and said “maybe you’ll get lucky,” with a wink.
You had half a mind to chase him and scold him for making such an inappropriate comment, but at the same time, you just laughed. You felt content, ready to let Chan go. Hopefully, Jeno isn’t too angry with you; you hoped that you didn’t push him too far away.
-
The evening feast for tonight was canceled, something about emergency meetings, which you gladly accepted. You were left to dine alone in your chambers, you invited Fei and Mei to eat with you, which luckily for you, they accepted. Mei had also slipped in the invitation to Hyunjin and Chan, which you were grateful for. The five of you sat in your chambers eating dinner, just like back home when everyone had meetings and you were left to roam the palace alone. The five of you laughed, talked, borderline cried, you never wanted dinner to end. “No, but don’t you remember that time, (Y/n) beat Minho?” Hyunjin laughed, “the look on his face.” You all laughed remembering that race.
“Please, nothing beats the time (Y/n) flicked off the Prince of Aspos,” Fei recounted, causing Mei to choke on her drink, recalling the night.
“That was the least I could do, considering he said ‘it would be an honor to lick the honey from your toes,’” you mocked the prince of Aspos, everyone nearly died laughing recalling exactly how he sounded.
“What about when (Y/n) threw her birthday cake, hitting the prince dead center in the face,” Hyunjin said, everyone laughed, but you paused for a minute, the mention of your late brother taking you back for a second.
“I remember that,” you smiled to yourself, recalling that birthday, “he said ‘you can’t be queen, you’re just a big baby,’” you chuckled. Everyone was quiet now, watching you recall that evening. “I said, ‘I am going to be queen, just you watch’ and he went,” you let out a breath, the tears were there but hadn’t fallen yet. You felt like you were always crying while here, “he went ‘but you’ll be an ugly one’ and so,” you smiled. You missed your brother but you couldn’t mourn him forever, “and so, I chucked the biggest chunk of cake my hand could hold and it really hit his face dead center.” You doubled over to laugh, the rest laugh at the memory. The now-bittersweet memory. “I almost forgot about that night.” A tear was rolling down your cheek, but your smile was still evident, “thank you for reminding me, Hyunjin.”
“Of course,” Hyunjin offered a soft smile. The rest of the night there were exchanges of stories of all the reckless things you did in Modia. You were reminded no matter how alone you felt, there were people here that cared: Fei, Mei, Hyunjin, and Chan. They cared about you, they knew, loved, adored you, and you were utterly, helplessly, whole-heartedly, and forever grateful to them.
It was well into the night when you finally bid them a farewell, all but physically shoving them out your door. You were grateful for their company but also in desperate need of a good night’s rest. Finally getting them out the door, you hopped into the shower. From there you did your nightly routine, changed, and got into bed. It seemed as soon as you set your phone on the nightstand, sleep took over. You had never fallen asleep so fast, and it was so relieving.
————–
Work In Progress report
Candy Shop | @urlocaltrash28(series)
• NCT dream x reader
synopsis:you and Jisung had gotten into your guys dream college together but he had a full ride and you didn’t. Being a cam girl was only suppose to pay the bills, but you couldn’t lie, the money you made from it was good. You lived life comfortably only making one video a week.
taglist:
release date: summer 2022
A Racer’s Heart(series)
F1driver!Jeno x reader x F1driver!Jaemin
synopsis:You, Jeno, and Jaemin joined the NCT racing team together, you guys came up together, and you guys swore you’d be at the top together. However for Jeno and Jaemin it isn’t only a race for the championship but a race for your heart too. Will one of them win it both?
taglist:@90sgatsby-jjh
release date: TBD
Meant to be(series)
taglist:
release date: fall/winter 2022
Experience(oneshot)
Ballerino!Winwin x Ballerina!reader
synopsis: The best of the best in school only matters if you secure a job after school. This shall be your opportunity to secure your place in the world after the academy. Or will your heart rob you of the opportunity before it even takes place?
taglist:
release date:april 2022 DELAYED
My Duty As Princess
Chapter 3
Lee Jeno x fem reader
in collaboration with@urlocaltrash28
preview,01,02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10, epilogue
Genre:arranged marriage au! royalty au!
Warnings:none(?)
Word Count: 6.3K
Authors Note: Ahhhhh I finally did it correct and updated on a saturday lmaoooo. Also an updated WIP is coming out, I know I have behind on updating you guys but I will. hugs and kisses to anyone reading <3333
————–
With the wedding in a month, you and Jeno have become closer these past few weeks. Instead of just not liking each other at all, there was mutual respect. One could even argue that you and Jeno have become friends; you spent most of your mornings together, playing with Hades as much as possible. It seemed as if the mornings were the only time you guys got to yourselves, for the afternoons were full of meetings with different members of noble families, wedding arrangements, council meetings, and endless amounts of public appearances. Every day, there was a fifteen to twenty-minute appearance in the public to interact with the people.
Everything in Northcy was different from Modia. Back home, your family never had public appearances, you never had private meetings with the high houses, nor you didn’t have to attend council meetings. The list of new tasks seems to be never-ending. Fei and Mei became distant, they always silently did the work no longer stopping to whisper little gossip they heard to you. Chan and Hyunjin started acting like guards as well, not conversing unless you spoke first, obeying all orders without much argument. You were constantly surrounded by people but felt more alone than ever.
One morning, you woke up feeling your heart drop into your stomach. Your head was spinning and you felt as if you had to double over to throw up. Swallowing the nausea, you got up to begin the day. With the wedding approaching so soon there was no way you could have a sick day now. Finding the will of God himself, you put on the mask and prepare to embark on your day. That morning you had breakfast with the ladies of the council, all the wives of lords and their daughters. The last of the noble families were to be arriving today for breakfast and were planning on staying for the entirety of the month up until the new year. Thankfully, most of the ladies didn’t focus on your presence, mostly occupied with pleasing the queen in any way, whether that be complimenting her outfit, or by marveling at the decor of the palace. Few did pay attention to you, like Lady Qian. She was the wife to Prince Qian Kun, who was second in line to the throne of Varpol. Prince Qian Kun was in Northcy for the wedding as well as a royal ambassador for Varpol. Lady Qian made sure she introduced herself to you personally. She also said, “I hope my husband and your future husband stay in good fortune with each other, for the time to come.” She wanted to ensure that you made sure Jeno didn’t cut off the alliance with Varpol when he took the throne, is what you thought. Varpol was a small country that didn’t offer much to Northcy but asked for a lot in return.
Lord Huang Renjun was the same age as Jeno. It was tragic, his father died at war. According to your lessons, Lord Huang, Renjun’s father, controlled the air fleet; he was flying into enemy territory when they took fire and his plane was shot down. Just as Renjun was going into war, the terms of the union were agreed upon. Lady Huang gave you a confused look, she was angry because you were the enemy, you killed her father-in-law. However, you being here saved Renjun from that fate, so she eventually decided to be grateful for you.
Lady Park was older, but couldn’t be much older than your own mother. The way she carried herself told you that she did this rodeo, one too many times. There was another girl with her, she looked to be about your age, maybe a year or two younger. Her face, figure, her hair, everything about this girl seemed all too familiar to you. She was thin, with a nice tanned complexion, her hair long straight and raven-colored. She was everything you wanted to look like. Then it hit you, this was the girl in the picture that was on Jeno’s desk. The Noble Park family is the most powerful noble family after, of course, royal relatives like the Na noble family. The Park Family controlled the power plants throughout the country; they literally lit the country. The family consisted of Lord Park, Lady Park, their son Park Jisung, and their daughter Park Jisoo. There was a rumor that Jeno and Jisoo had dated for a few years, but no one spoke of how or when it ended.
“Princess (Y/n), pleased to make your acquaintance,” Lady Park spoke to you as she bowed. You put on the mask your parents had constructed; your face held no emotion but pleased. “I am Lady Park Jihyo and this is my daughter, Park Jisoo,” Lady Park said, gesturing to her daughter as she did a small bow as well. Jisoo was furious to bow to you. It was clear to anyone paying attention, the fire behind her eyes lit.
“It is very nice to meet the two of you,” you said, standing straight, refusing to bow to them. Normally, and most likely under different circumstances you would bow, but this is different, you have to show them that you will not become a pushover of a queen.
“It must be very lonely to be away from home without a single familiar face,” Lady Park said, trying to jab at any wounds. The mask you put on refused to break and show the lonely feelings that were festering inside.
“Sometimes, but the queen and her family have done nothing but make me feel welcomed here,” you said. You had to present the front that you and the royal family were united.
“That’s good, I hope you are also pleasing the prince as well,” Lady Park said, reaching for something that wasn’t there. “If you ever need to know what the prince likes, Jisoo here is well versed, I’m sure she could help.” You were wrong. Lady Park wasn’t reaching for your feelings for Jeno, but your feelings of incompetence. Lady Park knew that royals didn’t like the feeling of needing help from anyone, and that’s exactly what she made you feel.
“Thank you for such a gracious offer, Lady Park,” you refused to allow the mask to crack, “but I’m sure I won’t be needing that anytime soon, the prince and I are very happy.” You’ve done it, you put Lady Park and her daughter in their place, but most definitely not for long. The short exchange left you more exhausted than ever, but now was no time for naps. You and the queen had to see to the arrival of the last family member: Jeno’s grandmother, the former queen of Northcy, a rumored fighter pilot in the war, Queen Lee Hye-Young.
-
You, Grandmother Na, Queen Jaeyeon, King Donghae, Jeno, Haechan, and Mark all waited in the main foyer for Queen Lee Hye-Young to arrive. After what seemed like hours of waiting, but was probably only a few minutes, a servant announced the arrival. Everyone fixing their attire and standing straight, Jeno’s parents stood in the front, the king and then the queen, Grandmother Na slightly behind on the queen’s left. Jeno, Mark, and Haechan are behind Grandmother Na, and you on Jeno’s right, slightly behind. The doors opened, revealing Queen Lee Hye-Young. She was a thin woman. Her face had natural signs of age, there was no indication that she ever tried to alter her appearance. Her hair was cut short, a simple bob that rested just below her ears. She wore light makeup, almost as if it were nonexistent. Her outfit consisted of a royal blue satin tea-length dress with silver two-inch heels. She didn’t carry a handbag, wore only a huge pear cut sapphire ring, her wedding ring, a simple string of pearls, and a silver braided tiara that didn’t hold any jewels. Her presence alone commanded attention. She was stunning, absolutely stunning. You could only dream to age as nicely as she did.
“Mother,” King Donghae spoke first, grabbing your attention, he opened his arms to welcome her into a hug. She seemed so small compared to him. “How was the trip?”
“Fine. It was just fine,” Queen Hye-Young said. Even her voice was elegant, she was memorizing in every aspect.
“Welcome home, Your Majesty,” Queen Jaeyeon spoke, bowing to Queen Hye-Young.
“Thank you, my dear. I see you have not aged since I last saw you.” What sounded like a nice compliment was actually a jab at Queen Jaeyeon spending all her time on her appearance and nothing of importance.
“I see time has not made you kind, Hye-Young,” Grandmother Na spoke to Queen Hye-young. You were taken aback by Grandmother Na’s bold words.
“Hello, old friend,” Queen Hye-Young said with a smirk painting itself across her lips, she pulled Grandmother Na in an embrace, and the two shared a small fit of giggles. “Let me see my grandsons,” Queen Hye-Young said, pulling away from Grandmother Na, allowing her to pass through to see Mark, Haechan, and Jeno. Queen Hye-Young pulled each boy into a hug, whispering something different to each of them. “Where is my boy, Taeyong?”
“He’s working, Grandma. He’ll be back for the union,” Haechan answered.
“You best not be working him too hard, Donghae.”
“Of course not, mother.”
“And who is this?” Queen Hye-Young asked, slightly pushing Jeno aside to get a better look at you. She stared you up and down.
“This is Princess (Y/n) of the Modia Kingdom,” Jeno answered, stepping to your side, placing a hand on the small of your back. “She is my fiance.”
“Ah, so this is the princess,” Queen Hye-Young looked at you once more, “it is a pleasure to meet you, princess,” she said bowing to you.
“The pleasure is all mine, Your Majesty,” you said a little too quickly, bowing a little too low, absolutely flustered that Queen Hye-Young bowed to you. Queen Hye-Young’s lip twitched a little watching you, your fluster was all too evident, and she seemed to enjoy it.
-
You were set to have lunch with the Ladies of the council once again, but as soon as you made your way to the queen’s private dining area, you were called away. You had no idea where you were going and were just told to follow the maid. She led you to a french door that you assumed led into a private chamber. The maid knocked on the door and then opened them walking in, you followed.
“Princess (Y/n), as you requested, Your Majesty,” the maid said. As she moved to leave the room, you saw Queen Hye-Young and Grandmother Na sitting, eating lunch.
“Thank you, you may close the door on your way out,” she spoke to the maid. The maid bowed and did exactly as Queen Hye-Young instructed. “Sit, dear,” you sat. “How are you this morning?”
“I am just fine, Your Majesty.”
“Do you plan to take up a consort after the coronation?” Queen Hye-Young asked, getting straight to the point; there was no beating around the bush.
“Excuse me?”
“Are you planning to undermine my grandson during every decision he makes?” Queen Hye-Young continued to eat her breakfast like she was asking about the weather.
“Huh?” You were at an utter loss for words, not knowing how to answer any of her questions.
“Do you plan on making this marriage work, or is this just business? Will we have to fight for you to produce an heir?” Your stomach did flips, palms sweating. You wanted nothing more but to leave. “Are you planning on cutting off Northcy’s alliances with smaller kingdoms? Will you open the palace up for the people to see? Are you ready to manage the budget of our kingdom?” Your head started to spin and wondered when you last ate. You were so busy that you barely felt as if you had time to consume food. “Do you intend on allowing Jeno to have a courtesan? Will you take on one as well? I heard a rumor about a little guard in your favor.” There was a ringing in your ears, Queen Hye-Young’s voice sounded far away. “Do you plan to uphold our family’s traditions? Or will it be only your family traditions from now on?”
You felt your eyes flutter close, only wanting to blink, but couldn’t pry them back open.
-
I was sitting for lunch with Jaemin, Haechan, and Mark, taking a simple half-hour to rest before being stuck in meetings with various Lords.
“Jeno, hello. You there?” Haechan called out, grabbing my attention.
“I’m sorry, what?” was all I could manage. Haechan, Mark, and Jaemin just laughed and shook their heads, going back to whatever conversation they were having before. I waved down a maid for a new glass of water. All I wanted to do was lay in bed, but I barely had a moment to myself. I wonder how the princess feels right now, and what she’s doing.
“Crown Prince Lee Jeno,” a maid called out, standing enough distance away to be respectful. All of our heads turned to face her. “Queen Hye-Young has requested your presence.”
“Very well,” is all I could muster to say, as I stood to follow the maid. I waved back a bye to the guys sitting at the table. Ever since Jaemin arrived, the three of them are always together just like before. I wonder if the princess’ maids are doing alright here. I looked at the maid that I followed. I didn’t see much of Fei or Mei. We made our way up to the second floor, where the chambers were. She said she was going to be having lunch there with Grandma Na.
As we approached her doors, people were running in and out. “Call a doctor,” Grandma Lee yelled out, her military voice suited. She was running past the maid to the bedroom. Did Grandmother Na get hurt? I ran into the room, there Grandmother Na sat on the floor, the princess’ head in her lap. Grandma Lee was checking her pulse. Maids were coming in with supplies for the princess to be comfortable.
“Where’s the doctor?” The question came out as a whisper, quickly drowned out by my grandma’s shouts. My body went numb for a second, so many haunting memories fighting even harder to cloud my consciousness. I never thought I’d see the day where the snippets of my life that I pushed so far back into my mind were exploding back in front of my eyes.
“Excuse me, Your Highness?” a maid asked.
“Where’s the doctor?!” I yelled, rushing towards the princess’ side, pulling her out of Grandmother Na’s lap and towards myself. “Have the doctor meet me at her chambers, she shouldn’t be left on the floor,” I said, gaining control over my voice again, picking the princess up and all but spiriting towards her chambers.
Finally making it to her room, I laid her on the bed. She was looking up at me. “Princess, are you alright?”
“I’m alr-”
“Don’t lie,” I cut her off, my tone more rough than intended. The princess has this habit of telling people what they want to hear.
“My head hurts and I feel nauseous,” the princess sighs. Now she’s actually telling the truth.
“The doctor should be here soon, princess.” As if my words were magic, the doctor walks in. Most would’ve gone to a hospital, but we royals tried to maintain public appearance whenever it was humanly possible.
I stood in the back of the room against a wall, while the doctor did his examination. I knew Grandma Lee and Grandmother Na were right outside the doors because they were quick to follow me when I moved the princess. Looking at the princess, I realize she’s thinner than when she first arrived at the palace. I felt guilt pile in my stomach, my mind taking me back to when I was fifteen, peering down at the frail body of a girl far too young to be hungry, cold, and helpless. I couldn’t save Jia, but did I miss the opportunity to help (Y/n)? Was this my fault?
“Your Highness,” the doctor addressed me, “the princess is alright, she fainted, my guess is from a lack of food and an increased amount of stress. She needs to rest and eat good food.” The doctor’s words confused and worried me: ‘lack of food.’
“Thank you, doctor.” The doctor left, leaving me, the princess, and her maids. “Leave us, please.” The maids looked to the princess, who nodded in approval. The princess sat up on the bed, she was trying to stand up. “Hey, hey,” I said, walking towards the princess, pushing her to sit back down, “the doctor said you needed to rest.”
“Jeno, please. I have things I need to do, I can’t spend all day in bed.”
“Yes you can, even if I have to stay here and watch you,” I said, rubbing my temples, “you haven’t been eating?”
“I have, I-” she started, not knowing how to continue. There was a knock at the door, a perfect interruption for her. Grandma Lee and Grandmother Na were there, standing in the doorway.
“May we come in?” Grandma Lee asked. I looked at the princess who nodded her consent.
“Come in,” I said.
“Are you alright, dear?” Grandmother Na asked, rushing to the princess’ side. She sat on the bed next to the princess, rubbing her arms. Grandmother Na always had a warmer personality than Grandma Lee.
“I am just fine, thank you,” The princess was calm, she wasn’t afraid to be in my grandma’s presence.
“Princess,” Grandma Lee started, she was distant, almost sorry, “I didn’t mean to-”
“Your Majesty, this is not your fault,” the princess cut off Grandma Lee, “I don’t have answers for your questions right now, but I will before long. I plan to work with the prince and be a queen that my and your people deserve.”
Grandma Lee smiled and nodded. I looked between the two. Grandma Lee turned to me and nodded. She approved, that’s what she was telling me, she approved of my union.
-
Neither you nor Jeno was able to have a proper lunch, so he requested food be brought to your chambers and you guys would dine together. Fei and Mei both carried a tray of food each. They set them on the table before you and Jeno. It was chicken noodle soup with rice. You smiled as you looked at the tray. It was a dish your mother made whenever you felt sick.
“Thank you,” you said to Fei and Mei as they exited your room. You brought up a spoonful of soup to your lips, the warm liquid danced across your tongue and ran down your throat. The burn felt magnificent, and you couldn’t help but eat like you have been starved for a lifetime.
“Good?” Jeno asked, looking at you, he mindlessly mixed the soup with his spoon.
“Perfect.”
As Jeno continued to watch you eat, he thought about what made you so special to get Grandma Lee’s approval. Jisoo never received Grandma’s approval, even though she spent years trying to earn it. You only personally knew Grandma for less than a day and you already earned her approval. What made you so special?
“Are you not gonna eat?” you asked, looking at Jeno’s bowl.
“Do you want some more?” Jeno asked, looking at your now-empty bowl. You gave a small nod. Jeno just smiled at you and handed his bowl over. He just continued to watch you eat. It was incredible how you looked absolutely stunning even while eating.
“It’s rude to stare,” you said, looking up from your bowl, meeting Jeno’s eye.
“It’s not rude to admire, though,” Jeno said with a smirk. You smiled at Jeno’s comment, feeling a small heat bloom on your cheeks.
Jeno spent the rest of the day with you, waiting on you hand and foot, refusing to leave. Something about ‘you’re not gonna rest if no one is watching you.’ He did leave you for a few minutes to get Hades from his room, but he made sure Fei and Mei knew that you weren’t allowed to leave until he got back. The only time Jeno allowed you to do anything by yourself was when you had to go to the bathroom. Snacks and drinks were constantly being brought up to the room, per Jeno’s request. He needed to make sure you were more than okay. He couldn’t let another person he cared about leave him through tragedy.
Finally, it was time for the evening meal. All the Noble families were at the palace for the holidays, as well as the wedding. Evening meals have become a feast; everyone sat on one long table, with King Donghae sitting at the head, Queen Jaeyeon on his right, Jeno on his left. Your seat was always next to Jeno, for any event, and if he wasn’t there, then you sat next to Queen Jaeyeon.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” Jeno leaned over to whisper to you while you guys were eating the main course.
“What I do every day,” you said in a hushed voice, loud enough to him while you continued to eat, “follow your mother around.”
“Spare your morning for me,” Jeno whispered, “let’s go on a date.”
Red crept up your neck to your cheeks and the tips of your ears. You can’t deny that after spending the few weeks taking care of Hades with the prince, he was definitely more than just a pretty face, but your feelings were more complicated. “What do you hope to achieve with this?” You asked, putting on the mask.
“Princess, I know you don’t have feelings for me, but there’s no reason not to try,” Jeno said, turning, looking directly at you.
“Alright, your highness, a date tomorrow morning,” you said looking at Jeno. This is gonna make things more complicated.
-
I was set to meet the Princess at 9 am. At 8:51 am, I was in front of the princess’s chambers.
“Chan, correct?” I asked, looking at one of the guards posted outside of the princess’ chambers.
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“And Hyu…?” I couldn’t quite remember the rest of his name.
“Hyunjin, Your Highness,” the other guard responded.
“Right, my apologies,” I said to be polite. “Chan…”
“Yes, Your Highness,” he looked stoic with his response, almost awkward with the interaction.
“I know you and the princess are more than just friends,” I started. I knew. I knew from the moment I first saw the princess with her guard. I knew but I denied it, and now no more.
“Your highness, I have no-” I raised my hand, stopping Chan from speaking further.
“I want to try a relationship with the princess.” It looked like his heart stopped, all color draining from his face. “I trust you won’t interfere, but I ask that you be there for the princess should I fail.”
“Your Highness, I don’t understand.” He looked confused.
“I will have to marry the princess no matter what, but should our relationship not work, I will insist that you remain in Northcy for her,” I hoped that my voice remained calm, “this will be away from any family and friends you have in Modia, will that be alright?”
The princess is gonna lose so much, the least I can do is try to make it somewhat bearable. “That will be, Your Highness,” he looked pleased, almost understanding what I asked of him.
“I know this isn’t easy, but I thank you,” I bowed my head to him. It takes a lot to give up the girl you love. I know that feeling well.
I knocked on the door at three to nine. This will be the first time I ever knocked to enter her chambers. Mei opened the door and bowed as she let me enter. I told the princess that we would go into the city this morning. I want to take her to this one cafe called Norts.
Inside, the princess sat at her table drinking a cup of tea. She wore a black turtleneck, with an amber leather skirt and black stockings. There was a long, gray winter coat on the other seat. “Good morning, Your Highness,” she said as she got up from her seat, there I saw the pendant she wore, it was a crown. Thinking about it now, the princess had the title to wear a crown or tiara, but she never did. The most she ever wore was a metal jeweled headband, and that was only for evening meals.
“Good morning, princess. Beautiful necklace,” I said, holding my hand out to her. She placed her hand in mine, grabbing her coat.
“Thank you, it was a gift from my mother,” she said as we exited her chambers, “a subtle way to let people know you’re royalty.” Her voice is as lovely as ever.
“Why?” Was all I could manage, hoping it was enough to encourage her to talk more.
“Mother didn’t want us to be flamboyant; she didn’t want us to flaunt our titles,” she smiled to herself, looking down. We walked down the steps to the main floor, “she thought we shouldn’t act better than everyone, even if we are.” As she finished, she giggled, hand covering her mouth.
“Is your mother always so humble?”
“Actually, quite frankly, no,” she laughed, hand still placed over her mouth, “my mother truly believes we are better than everyone. She just refuses to act like she is.” Her laugh died down a little but was still there. God, her laugh. We were towards the front entrance, my own guards standing by the door.
Once we made it out the door, my car was there, and our guards were behind us. I stepped out in front of the princess, opening the car door for her. “Princess,” I gestured to the passenger seat of the car.
“You’re driving, your highness?” Her voice sounded pleasantly surprised, “don’t you get chauffeured around?” This time, she was teasing.
“For formal events, yes, but this is just me and you.”
She smiled, finally getting into the car. I let out a breath, I can’t recall the last time I actually went on a date. My guards were in the car upfront, her guards in a car behind us. I got into the driver’s seat, started the car.
“May we listen to music?” She looked at me, her eyes were soft, almost doe-like.
“Put on whatever you want, princess,” I handed her my phone, opening it for her first.
“What kind of music do you like?” She scrolled through the options of songs.
“Put on your music, princess,” I glanced at her.
She smiled while looking down at my phone. She put on ‘war with heaven’ by Keshi. She leaned back, smiled, and closed her eyes for a minute.
“Do you know how to drive, princess?”
“I do,” she’s hesitant.
“And?”
“My parents have forbidden me from driving,” she giggles a little to herself. This must be a story.
“Why do they forbid you?”
“I was driving over the speed limit, but it wasn’t really by much. It was only,” she bit her lip, “sxtver…”
“Princess, speak up,” I said, glancing at her, red creeping up her cheeks again.
“I was driving,” she let out a breath, “60 over.”
“60 over?! How fast were you going?!” The shock was clearly evident on my face. Why in the world would she be going 60 over?
“I was doing 160kph (100 mph),” she looked down to her shoes, “well when the officer caught me, it was 160.”
“Why would you be going that fast?” I asked, sliding my hand down my face.
“Racing,” she stated so calmly.
“Racing?” I looked at her again. She gave me a small, timid smile.
“I was different in Modia,” she looked out the window. We were entering the city.
“Different how?” The cafe was only another 2-3 minutes away.
“I had no responsibilities, I wasn’t the heir and was the third daughter,” she looked to be deep in thought, “I was allowed to be a child.”
“And?”
“And so, I went out,” she smiled to herself, “car meets were my favorite. Chan would sneak me out, and I would ride with him, the passenger in his car. He and his friends were big, they were racers, and I was his passenger.” The smile is still on her face. We pulled up to the cafe.
“And you became a racer?” I asked while parking my car.
“I did,” I got out after her answer, rushing around to open the door for her. My guards were already up ahead by the entrance of the cafe, her guards stayed by our side.
“Maybe you should drive back,” I said, opening the door to her. She giggles at my suggestion.
“You wanna experience a police chase?” She questioned.
“Maybe,” we walked arm in arm together into the cafe. They sat us more towards the back, her guards took a table up at the front of the cafe, watching the entrance, and mine took one closer to us. Not close enough to hear us, though. “Did you at least win when you got caught?”
“Of course, I won,” she smirked, as she sat, “have you ever been to a meet?”
“I have not, cars are Jaemin’s thing. I enjoy cars, but not as much as him.”
“Your thing?”
The waiter brought us some water and menus.
“Music.”
She raised her eyebrows.
“I enjoy playing the guitar and biking.”
“I wanted to learn how to play,” she looked at the menu, “but never had the patience. What do you usually get?”
“I usually get something more healthy like egg whites, but I think I’m gonna get something like waffles,” I looked at her. She was still staring down at the menu.
“I think I’m gonna get the french toast,” she put the menu down, taking a sip of her water, “it’s my favorite breakfast food.”
I put the menu down, looking at her, “you know I could teach you.”
“Huh?” Her face filled with confusion, eyes going wide. It was the most adorable look ever.
“The guitar, I could teach you.”
“Oh,” she looked down, fiddled with her finger for a second, “I would like that.” She looked at me and smiled. Her smile was only a half-smile, but by god, she was more beautiful than Aphrodite herself.
We continued our breakfast, talking about her life in Modia and about my hobbies. She was most definitely different in Modia, she lived a life that many of us aren’t allowed to live. I felt almost jealous, jealous of the life she got, the life that I wanted, but the look in her eyes made me feel guilty about those thoughts. Her eyes became glossy when she spoke of how she changed: when the third letter came. I didn’t have a right to be jealous, I didn’t lose what she lost.
We were in the car, on our way back to the palace, my guards in front, hers in back. “Care for a detour, princess?”
“Well I have the time,” she smirked at me, “your mother cleared my schedule for the morning when she found out about our date.”
“Okay then.” There were a few more streets before we left the city. I took a sharp right turn, down another street, stepping harder on the gas. She laughed, holding on to her seatbelt. Her guards were still on our tail. A left turn, a right, and then another right, and they were gone.
“Where are we going?” She was still smiling.
“It’s a surprise,” still speeding just by a little, we drove deeper into the city, past the café. I didn’t think I was gonna take her here, but I want a memory with her here.
“A museum?” She looked out the window at the building. I got out of the car, rushing to her side to open the door, holding my hand out for her to take. “It’s a music museum, commissioned by my grandfather, a gift.”
“Gift? For?” She looked at me with raised eyebrows.
“For me,” We walked into the door, arm in arm. The staff bowed at us, at me, “my grandfather died when I was four. He never saw the results.”
“I can’t believe you got a whole museum as a gift,” she smirked, teasing, “the best I ever got was a car.”
“Let me show you my favorite section,” we walked up the steps to the second level, into a back section, a small room that held a collection of all kinds of stuff. The princess let go of my arm and looked at the collection.
“Is there a theme here?” she looked at me confused, rightfully so.
“No,” I watched her look around, “these are my favorite pieces from everywhere.”
“So this is just your personal collection, within your personal museum,” she’s teasing again.
“It’s not my personal museum,” I stated.
“Right, it’s just a gift,” she smirked, looking back at the collection, fixated on a violin, “what’s the story behind this?”
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I stepped next to her, looking at the violin with her, “it was mine.”
“Yours? You play?” She looked at me. I stared at the violin.
“I used to, I haven’t played in a while, I’m not sure if I even could anymore,” I looked at her. She held care in her eyes.
“You said,” she looked down, hesitant, “you said your grandfather, the late king… how did he know you were gonna be in music?”
“After his passing, the museum project was left to Grandma Lee. She decided it was gonna be a music museum when it finished,” I looked back at the violin, tilting my head, “she said that she saw it in my eyes: the love for music.”
“It’s a very large museum for just music,” she looked out into the doorway, peering into other sections.
“It holds every part of music,” I stood by her, looking at the museum, “every genre, every instrument, every part of music you could imagine.”
“Amazing,” she was in awe.
“Let me take you around the rest of the museum,” I grabbed her hand, leading her away and onto more of the museum.
We didn’t talk much as we walked and enjoyed the rest of the museum. Her smile never seemed to leave her face. Time stopped, it was only us, the two of us in this little world looking at old pianos, time never moving. If someone shot me right now, a bullet through my head, heart stopping, I would die a satisfied man. Satisfied that I got this opportunity to be in this moment, to be here, to be with her.
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“Princess (Y/n),” Queen Jaeyeon yelled at you when she saw you running into the palace through the garage door, Jeno right behind you. “Crown Prince Lee Jeno,” Queen Jaeyeon’s face was red, “the two of you have missed meetings with lords, luncheon with your grandmas, and neither of you thought to tell me about a dog you allowed in my palace.”
You wished Queen Jaeyeon hadn’t yelled; her voice sounded so demanding, so chilling, it set more fear in you than anyone else who’s ever yelled at you. “I’m so-”
Jeno placed a hand on the small of your back, stopping you from apologizing, he took a step, standing right beside you.
“Mother, don’t overreact,” Jeno’s voice was calm, caring, “we took a detour, we’ve been in meetings with lords since their arrival, we can reschedule lunch with grandma, and the dog wasn’t in your section of the palace.” He smiled genuinely; it seemed to calm his mother a bit.
“That doesn’t negate the fact that a wild animal is in my palace, and the two of you ignored your duties!”
“I apologize, Your Majesty. Our detour took longer than we had anticipated, I will personally see to the Lord’s family, Grandma Lee, and Grandmother Na to apologize.” You wanted nothing more than to leave right now, you still had to meet with the priest of the wedding.
“Mother, isn’t that enough?” Jeno asked, hand still on your back.
“Don’t make me bring up the fact that the two of you also abandoned your guards, which should anything happen to either of you, could have led to yet another war,” Queen Jaeyeon was still very angry. Both you and Jeno looked down to your feet.
“I have rescheduled the meeting with the priest, and the two of you will be in attendance. For today, all of your prior engagements are canceled. I expect the two of you to be on time to dinner tonight.” Queen Jaeyeon turned away, Jeno started to laugh after she was far enough not to hear.
“That was fun,” Jeno sighed, calming down from his laughing fit.
“You nearly got me killed,” you look distressed, hitting Jeno’s chest, “no more damn detours,” you huffed, rubbing your temples, after giving Jeno a firm look.
“Understood, princess,” he looked at you, making direct eye contact, tilting his head a little to the right. You thought ‘damn he and Jaemin really are related.’
After getting scoldings from Queen Jaeyeon, Jeno walked you back to your chambers. Hades was inside waiting for you. Jeno left you to play with Hades by yourself, you missed enjoying him by yourself. Before long, it was time for the evening meal. Jeno met you at your chambers and walked you down to dinner. Chan and Hyunjin followed you as usual. Chan looked as if he was happy. It confused you.
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[00:44] “You, you, you,” Taeil stuttered, his face looking full of anger, anger in which you did not deserve, “you bewitch me, and I curse you for it. I have mountains of responsibilities to see to, but you, you are the only thing I care about. I have duties to fulfill, but you are the only person I seem to want around. I have much more important things to attend to, I have things I would much rather attend to.” Taeil took a step closer to you. You could feel his breath fan your face, his lips mere millimeters from yours. His hands hovered closed to your cheeks, almost grasping you. “You have bewitched me, and I curse for it, for I cannot bear a moment apart from you.”
“My lord,” You felt your breath hitch, you wanted to close the already minimal distances between the two of you.
“Say you do not feel the same.”
“my lord?” all of your words were mere whispers, afraid the walls might catch onto your conversation.
“Say I do not bewitch you. Say you are not mad for me. Say you do not desire me the way I desire you, and I shall leave you be.” his eyes looked up at yours, no longer staring down at your lips.
You opened your mouth to say the words, but the voice did not speak. You had been bewitched. You have been mad for him. You desire him in the same way he does you. You urged yourself to speak the words he wished to hear. You opened your mouth to say you did not feel the same, but your voice never spoke. You looked up at him once more, the desperation so evident in his eyes.
“You have my lord. You have bewitched me, you make me mad, I do desire you all the same as you desire me.”
Taeil grasped your face, pushing his lips against yours. A kiss shared between two.
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Loosely based off of season 2 of bridgerton
[21:53]You had many hobbies, there were many things that interested you. Some examples were you enjoyed to bake, your favorite was baking brownies. The chocolate fudgy delights, you loved to bake. You also enjoyed to paint, there was something so soothing about watching the paint glide on the canvas from the brush. Watching the different stroke create art. You loved to paint. You had many hobbies.
Renjun took careful note of your hobbies. There never seemed to be a set schedule of when you partake in said hobbies, it was just whenever you felt like it. However after dating you for a while, he did notice a pattern with your hobbies.
Baking, you only ever baked at the most unconventional times. Sometimes you would bake right when you came home from work, other times you would bake right before bed. Forcing yourself to stay up until the wee hours of the mornings. But you would always bake when you spirits seemed down.
Painting, you only ever painted when you had a mile long list of other things to accomplish. Like right before the due date of a big project, you would clear off your desk and paint. Or the time that you knew you had a test for class, you would paint. It seemed like you only painted when you had more important things to do.
It didn’t take long for Renjun to realize your hobbies were tied to your emotions. When you were sad, empty-inside, preferring to be anyone else but yourself, you baked. When you were overwhelmed, stressed beyond the limit, wished for all your responsibilities to begone, you painted. Renjun took careful note of your hobbies, and he learned what to do.
When you baked, we stayed in the kitchen with you. He complimented all the delights you made for him. He shared it all with the boys, had them write their compliments on post-it notes, and brought them home for you to read. He reminded you that you were loved, you were cared for, you were wanted.
When you painted, he never let you clean it up. He would wash all your brushed, dispose of the unused paint, wipe down your desk. He would even prepare a snack for you when you finished paint, so you didn’t have to do it yourself. He reminded you that you weren’t alone, that you could ask for help, that you could do it.
Renjun took special note of your hobbies, and what to do when you partake in said hobbies.
