#newsies incorrect quotes
Crutchie: Don’t break someone’s heart, they only have one.
Jack: Yeah, break their bones instead, they have 206 of those!
Les: Davey? Is Santa Claus gonna come?
Davey: Les, it’s April. And we’re Jewish
Les: Oh. So who’s coming?
Davey: I don’t know. Jerry Seinfeld?
Katherine: So we got good news and we got bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
Sarah: It’s my birthday, so good.
Davey: Well, the pigeons on the sidewalk loved your cake.
Sarah:Wha-
Katherine: After Jack dropped it.
Sarah: So how was the honeymoon?
Davey: Well, Jack got super drunk one night and tried to set our marriage certificate on fire saying “good luck trying to return me without a receipt.”
Jack: Everything’s totally fine! There’s nothing to worry about.
Davey: Is that a challenge?
Davey: That’s it! You’re all grounded. Jack, no more drawing. Race, no more racetrack betting.
Davey: And Spot-
Davey: Is there anything you love?
Spot:Revenge.
Davey: No more vengeance, then.
Spot: I was going to say “I’ll get you for this,” but I guess that’s off the table.
Twister
Sarah: Jack, right hand red.
Jack: *ends up on top of Davey*
Davey: Okay, you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?
Sarah: I stopped spinning like 15 turns ago. Honestly surprised you didn’t notice sooner.
Mush: I had a dream where I got arrested for tax evasion which is weird because I don’t even pay taxes!
Davey: That’s liTERALLY THE DEFINITION OF TAX EVASION?!!!?
Jack: This soup is way too bland. If I had to rate this, I’d give it three-
Crutchie: I made it for you.
Jack: -out of three! Nice job!
Mush: So, Elmer did some math and-
Davey: Wait. Elmer?
Mush: Don’t worry, he had a calculator.
Jack: I think I’m falling for you.
Katherine: Then get up.
Katherine: Well, aren’t you a beautiful boy?
Romeo: Thanks! I’ve been trying out a new kind of hairspray and-
Katherine: *picks up puppy*
Romeo:*teary eyed* Oh.
Jack: My first rule as president of the Newsboys union is that no one can veto my rules.
Davey: Well, that’s called ‘tyranny’ and generally frowned upon.
Sarah: You just have to spread the positive vibes! Watch.
Sarah: *to Crutchie* Hey, Crutchie. Hope you have a beautiful day!
Crutchie: Aww, thank you!
Sarah: Now you try.
Spot: Enjoy your next 24 hours.
Sarah:No!-
Jack:I apologize for saying ‘fuck’ earlier.
Davey: You just said it again!
Jack: I am not a good role mode.
Davey: Race, we need to talk.
Race: The kitchen was already on fire when I got there.
Davey:What?!
Race:What?
Elmer: Can I have a piece of the cake in the fridge?
Jack: What’s the rule?
Elmer: *disappointed* No cake after dinner.
Jack: No that’s Davey’s rule. My rule is you have to bring me a slice too.
Finch: On a scale of 1 to 10, how confused are you.
Elmer:16.
Finch: On a scale of 1 to 10.
Elmer:What?
Finch: The scale.
Elmer: What scale?
Finch: How confused are you?
Elmer: uhhh… 16
Davey: You’re driving down the road and suddenly you see Race and Jack standing in the middle of the road. What do you hit?
Spot: Jack, obviously. I could never hurt Race.
Davey: The brAKES. YOU HIT THE BRAKES.
Mush: A Z is just a sideways N.
Blink: It’s 2am. Please. Stop.
Mush:Zo.
When Jack goes to meet Katherine’s parents for the first time
Jack: Mr. Pulitzer, why are you looking at me through a fork?
Pulitzer: I’m pretending your in jail. It’s spiritually healing.
