#not like other girls

Independents are the Not Like Other Girls of politicians

attackfish:

I wish more people acknowledged that the phrase “[I’m] not like other girls” has many meanings, not all of which are related to internalized misogyny. Like it can mean “I’m not like other girls, I’m better, because I don’t do [insert negative gender stereotype here] or it can mean, “I am weird and different and bullied, and I have tried and failed to be like the other girls who seem to me (correctly or not) to fit in so easily,” or “I am searching for a reason for my social isolation and use gendered terms because I am heavily socialized that gender matters, and it doesn’t occur to me to ask if I am anything like boys,” or “Everybody is trying to shame me for being different, and I can’t seem to conform, so I have decided my difference is a good thing and I am better than them as a coping mechanism,” or “I am beginning to realize I have some intrinsic difference from most of my fellow female classmates, for example I’m some form of queer.” Or “I’m twelve and acting out my innate human need to differentiate myself from my peers in a gendered way, and somehow no one would say boo if I were a boy.”

This is perfect.

check-bio–moved:

Genuinely every time I hear a girl say “I’m not like other girls” it breaks my heart and makes me so angry. Whenever I hear that I just want to stomp on the face of whoever made her think her femininity= weakness and stupidity. It took me literal YEARS to unlearn that and it makes me so upset I was forced to believe it in the first place. That I had to distance myself so far from “"other girls”“ just to prove I was smart and strong and not some one dimensional figure of pink lipstick, perfect hair, and big boobs I was constantly being told girls were supposed to be. Now I know who I am and I find strength in myself, my femininity and the beautiful, unique, and strong women around me because I finally acknowledge there is no "other girls”. That the phrase “other girls” is just misogyny in disguise, hiding under the mask of forced insecurities by making girls believe that they have to prove they aren’t feminine enough to be considered stupid and pretty. And it’s not their fault for believing it either, I know how it goes because I too was forcefed the internal hate that comes with the feeling of inadequacy of just being a young girl. Suddenly, it felt wrong to be someone who liked Barbie and the color pink and wearing sparkly clothes and princess dresses. I can’t even begin on the stereotype young girls of color must face, being told that they are too loud, and too bold and must box themselves in and bring themselves down. Nor can I adequately tell you how this phrase affects trans women and any afab trans folk out there. One thing for sure though is that I will NEVER make myself small again or see others as weak, one dimensional figures because they are women as well and I hope this post opens someone’s eyes to this too.

Ladies, please feel free to add on. TERFS DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!

As I said in a post of mine that’s now getting some attention, many girls who call themselves “not Iike other girls” were told that by other girls. I was bullied from age 5. I don’t know why I was a target, but the bullying continued all the way until the end of high school, even when I transferred school districts. I spent years trying to fit in - trying to be “like other girls” - until I finally got fed up and decided “Fine! If they say I’m not like other girls, I’m not!” Really, what can be expected after being rejected for years on end? Either the girl accepts what she’s been told or continues to have a crisis over not understanding why other girls won’t accept her. I should note I had some friends, and they were treated as badly as me.

Funny thing is on some occasions, I was picked on for seemingly not being girly enough. I remember when I was 12, the girl sitting next to me in my math class slipped me a note. It was a list of clothes and accessories to buy if I wanted to stop being ugly, and it was definitely feminine. I don’t remember what the fashions were in 2006, but I can tell you I was apparently bad at them because I eventually did get a new, sparkly wardrobe and… I still got picked on.

My point is while girly stuff being viewed negatively is a big part of “not like other girls”, I think as a whole, it’s a clique thing. Simply put, girls can’t do anything without being judged. I can only speak for myself and from experiences I’ve seen growing up, but I found after the mandatory school years (K - 12), no one really cares. They might find your interests a little strange, but they’re not going to single you out and make your life hell.

Nowadays, the only girls/women I separate myself from are the nasty ones. For obvious reasons.

I rarely use Tumblr anymore, but I’ve yet to get an answer to this question, so I’ll try here.

Regarding “not like other girls”: Is a girl who is consistently bullied and told by other girls she isn’t like other girls still a “not like other girls” girl when she finally gets fed up, stops trying to be like other girls, and just accepts what she’s been told so often up to that point?

That was my childhood and adolescence, and was the experience of other girls/women I know, yet “not like other girls” is always treated as if a girl who considers herself such randomly decided she was different. It’s never considered other girls may have told her that all her life and she finally took the words to heart (on another note, I consider it problematic to insist all “other girls” are nice, but that’s a whole different topic).

A little playlist for Valentine’s Day

ovenroastedtwerkey:

weaver-z:

incel-rights-advocate:

on my masculine fit day

I’m not like other girls, my mom says I’m not as emotionally or mentally prepared as most teens my age

The correct aesthetic and vibe for any occasion. You can never have too much strawberry

not like other girls

was a title i coveted

but never earned.

i wrote off makeup,

i stopped talking about fairies and mermaids

to research superheroes.

i quit ballet in favor of taekwondo

but even in a plain white dobok and a brown tti,

dripping sweat and exhaustion

i was not enough.

i was vengeful in my frustration

notorious for the blood on my gloves—

we weren’t supposed to aim for the nose

but i was smaller and younger

and a good actress.

deep down i think i knew

i would never be like the girls

who weren’t like other girls,

and that made me wonder

what about other girls was so bad,

and why there were no boys

who weren’t like other boys.

i expected other girls to be what i’d seen on tv

and read in books,

but instead i was met with compliments,

kind eyes and genuine voices,

proclaiming boys were to be seen and not heard.

i learned that i was pretty

and i looked cute in pink

and the school confiscates pocketknives

but keys fit between your fingers.

i fell in love with other girls

when they took his sneer as a declaration of war,

unleashed their tongues like rabid dogs

in defense of girls they’d never spoken to

and flashed sharp grins

when their words bit hard enough

to reward them with tears.

i watched in awe

as other girls filed their nails into claws,

drove needles through their ears and noses

and lined their eyes with intimidation.

the judgement of their fathers

weighed down their bare shoulders

and adorned their short skirts

but every time he voiced it

their scissors took another inch off the bottom.

they were feral, and territorial,

they were disobedient and wanted blood,

they dressed how they wanted

and if you looked and didn’t like it

that was your problem.

i failed at not like other girls

because i met other girls

and i remembered my breath was fire

and my teeth dripped venom,

my hair was a nest of snakes

and my gaze was stone;

they knew i was a gorgon

years before i did

and now i’ve finally

become one.