#one sided attraction

You know what I hate the most?

I hate you for always being there for her as much as I want you to be with me. I hate the way you look onto her, the way you hold her because for a moment, I felt like she was holding my universe. I hate it when you always have to leave me just because you will need to fetch her and ask her out. I hate the fact that even when you left me, I am still a fool waiting for you to return. I hate it when you ask me about what she likes, about the things that make her uncomfortable, I hate it when you always pay attention to the things she love to do, while I am stuck here, seeing how persistent you are on waiting for her. I hate the smile you wear as her name flashes your screen. I hate the way you misses her. I hate the way you talk to her, I hate the way you bring her name on our conversation. I hate the way you tell me how much you love her and the things you are willing to risk for her. I hate it. I hate how dense you are. I hate the fact that after all these years, you never noticed me, but I am still clinging onto you. I hate the fact that I love you as much as you love her. I was here even before she came and I will probably be here if she decided to leave you one morning. The fact that I have to support your love for her and I can’t compete with her because she’s way better than me, slowly kills me.

I was waiting for you to look at me too, but maybe I will stay like this, loving you in silence.

—the danger of one sided love j.a