#president loki x reader

Title: Missing Halves

Pairings: Variant!Lokis x FemAvenger!Reader

Summary: You were the one he couldn’t forget. The god of mischief’s former love before everything fell apart and he was condemned to a life of solitude. Now labeled a variant as well, you soon find yourself trapped in the void at the end of time. Confused and alone, you connect with the other versions of the man you last loved.

Notes: Kind of a quick one shot as I had nothing else ready to post at the moment. I hadn’t done anything for the Loki TV series yet either, so this is just a little something. The reader’s race isn’t really specified in this. They could be a human, Asgardian, or whatever you like.

Warnings: Angst, mention of character death, mention of past sex, a non consensual kiss at one point. But no smut in this.

Taglist:@calumance

My Masterlist

——————————

You looked up towards the sky, eyes wide as yet another of those Chitauri abominations undulated overhead. An otherworldly scream left the behemoth as it scraped across the buildings as it passed.

But you could only keep running, glass and metal raining down as you did your best to dodge the larger pieces.

In your comm. link, you could hear the stress in your teammates’ voices as they alternated from relaying their own locations to asking for help if anyone was still free. The battle was not shifting in your favor. And there would be no hope at all if that portal could not be closed.

“I’ve reached Stark Tower! Can anyone give me a lift!?” You called out.

“Loki is too far gone, (Y/N)! I already tried! Get out of there!” You heard Thor’s voice in return.

But you had no time to argue with the thunder god. You knew Loki would still be too resentful of his brother to fully listen to him right now. The wounds still too fresh of finding out the life of lies that Odin had created.

Loki had had his identity torn asunder, but frost giant or Asgardian, you still knew the man you’d fallen in love with. And you would not give up on him now when he needed someone more than ever.

“Tony!” You called out instead. “Please, we have no other choice! If anything, let me distract him. Someone else get to the portal, you have to trust me!” You now had stopped in front the building.

The Chitauri soldiers on the ground had taken notice of you as you readied a fighting stance. “Tony, any time now. A little outnumbered here…”

“Got my own problems! Trying to get to-,” there were sounds of violent metal crashing and static over the radio. “Goddammit! Jarvis, reroute power from that stabilizer. Gonna be a minute here, (Y/N)! Cap, you still on?”

“Incoming for backup! On your six, (Y/N)!” You heard Steve next, even the super soldier sounding winded as you looked behind you just in time to see that flying shield connect with several Chitauri at once. They fell like wounded dominoes, even as you took out several more.

You’d run out of bullets several blocks ago. But you’d taken one of their weapons next, a staff that shot out some kind of energy pulses. It didn’t really matter what kind of energy to you though as you immobilized one enemy soldier after another, burning and blasting holes through them.

For a moment, you and Captain Rogers were back to back then, as he spoke just to you. “Look, I doubt anyone else is coming. Not before these things overrun us here. If you think you can make it to the top of that building the old fashioned way, I think it’s worth a shot.” He paused long enough to throw and then catch his returning shield yet again, the blood of the creatures starting to congeal on its edges. “Can’t say I’m a fan of that guy up there even one bit, but I do trust you.”

“Thank you,” Was all you could manage. There was no time for anything more heartfelt as the two of you exchanged last glances before you forced your way back towards the already broken glass doors of Stark Tower.

“Good luck!” You heard Steve call back, himself then running on down the street and drawing the Chitauri’s attention away from you as he did.

Once inside, you saw the power was still on for now, but it flickered several times as you’d run across the glass strewn lobby. You couldn’t risk getting stuck in one of the elevators right now as you still felt the building tremble every time another explosion echoed from outside.

Your heart was pounding in your chest as you’d started up one of the stairwells chosen at random. But you felt like a machine now, running up those countless stairs faster than you’d probably ever run towards anything in your life. Adrenaline, fear, and heartache were maybe the most powerful motivators there could ever be. It didn’t matter how many floors, or how much your calf and thigh muscles started to burn, you ran and ran.

But somewhere, maybe two thirds of the way up, there had been a much closer explosion. Your ears rang as you felt yourself falling backwards. You could taste blood in your mouth as you felt pain radiate all through you. You even blacked out for a moment before you’d opened your eyes again to find yourself bloodied and covered in concrete dust.

You could see daylight now through a massive hole where the building’s outer wall should have been. And a missing section of stairs that you’d just been about to cross before the injured Chitauri monster had crashed through it before flying on.

You could hear all the sounds of battle and death still outside, but you couldn’t let your thoughts linger on how close that may have been for you as you now just ran again and jumped the missing stair gap to continue upward once more.

You’d been here before, you knew where Tony’s executive suite was as you’d finally exited the stairwell.

“Loki!” You called out as you’d shoved open those doors. Everything almost looked just as it should. The bar, the furniture, only the panoramic glass windows were broken. Where Tony had been forced out against his will just a short time earlier you knew.

You paused only just long enough to see Loki’s back through the glass doors that led out onto the balcony and roof. The black leather, green cape, and golden horns, he was watching the battle from above, no doubt unable to hear you through all the noise from the ongoing war outside.

And you’d started towards him, only so many feet away from your goal now before a translucent rectangular shape emerged from nothing into your path. It made a sound as it did, several people emerging through it immediately, yet themselves wholly human looking. Not Chitauri, even as in the milliseconds that passed then, you’d already noted their black armor and the possible weapons gripped in their hands.

You’d lost the staff you’d been wielding when the stairwell had partially collapsed. All you could do was raise your arms reflexively, somehow even then feeling in danger before they’d spoken.

“Variant identified.” One said, albeit looking almost nonchalantly at some kind of device in their hand. Themselves upsettingly calm as if literal monsters weren’t darkening the sky all around.

You saw the others activate whatever weapons you assumed they were holding. You glanced back outside though to see Loki now walking away. He was moving back to go stand closer guard over the portal opening, farther from you.

“No! Loki!” You called again, as loud as you could as you abruptly made a run for it, trying to skirt around whoever these new soldiers now were.

“Not even a chance, sorry,” You heard one of them say, quicker than you could expect as they extended out that staff of their own. It barely even grazed you though as you’d tried to dodge just as quickly.

But it didn’t matter. Whatever their weapon did, you felt something almost akin to paralysis take hold. Yet, with one of your feet still frozen far off the floor as you’d been in mid run when it touched you.

How you didn’t fall forward, didn’t make sense. None of it made sense as they just kept talking before slipping some kind of collar around your throat.

“On behalf of the Time Variance Authority, I hereby arrest you for crimes against the sacred timeline. You’re coming with us.” The one speaking then motioned to the others as the paralysis abruptly ended.

You did fall to the ground then, unabashedly single minded though as you immediately tried to run towards the outside again, to try and reach Loki.

He was completely out of sight now. But just as your hands reached the doors, you were abruptly back to where you’d been, back across the room in the spot where they’d first confronted you.

Fighting, you fell, but then ran again.

And then again you were in that same spot where you’d been before. You should have been afraid, but somehow you were only angry. Somehow the strangers were doing this to you. All of New York City and honestly the world were now in the balance, and they just wanted to mess around? Who the hell were they even!?

It only took two times for them to reset you that way before you lunged for the soldiers themselves instead. You knew how to fight bare handed. And you had no qualms about doing whatever you had to to finish the mission. Of course your individual love was partly selfish, you didn’t want to lose Loki for good. But you were here to save the others as well, and you wouldn’t let the Chitauri overtake this world either.

You’d die rather than give up now.

“Do we really have to deal with this?” One of them asked, almost bored sounding still as you found yourself falling to that same spot on the floor yet again before your fist could connect with their face.

“Violent one isn’t she?” Another commented as you almost landed a kick the next time.

“Yeah, maybe that’s why they get along? You know what though, no, we don’t have time for this. Literally. We’re getting close to redline here. Just prune her and reset the timeline.”

It was getting harder and harder to get up every time. You stood again one last time though, glowering at them. “I’m trying to save us all you idiots!” You spoke, voice breaking in frustration. The adrenaline was finally failing you, all your body starting to hurt again as you now felt the beginnings of panic.

“Nah. That’s our job, variant.”

And that condescending tone was the last thing you heard.

They’d encircled you. You couldn’t block them all as one had struck you with their staff again. But this time it was wholly different.

A searing pain and confusion went through you as you could see your body dissipating before your very eyes. Just horror, and then….nothing.

You had failed. You had failed everyone.

———————————

There was no perception of time when you’d next awoken. You could only remember those last moments so clearly, that torture of seeing Loki walking away from you. Him not even knowing you were there at all before those soldiers had attacked you.

As you started to sit up, you found everything still where it had been. Even though you’d watched your own body disappear as if you’d somehow been vaporized, you still had your arms, your legs, your hands.

You flexed your fingers within the torn leather gloves. You were still a bloody mess, your body suit cut and ripped. The concrete dust was still all over as you tried to stand.

You may have some smaller bone fractures considering the resulting pain, but nothing that would keep you down as you tried your comm. link on instinct, touching the tiny device still in your ear.

“Hey. This is (Y/N). Does anybody copy?” Static was all that returned to you. “Thor? Nat? …Anybody?”

You took a deep breath, not yet ready to turn the radio off even if it seemed like such a longshot now. “If you can hear me…I’m still alive. I just…I don’t know where.” Was it some kind of side effect of the Tesseract? Maybe more portals had been created than Loki had ever intended?

“Leaving comm’s on for now. Hope to hear you guys again soon…”

It was all you could do as you looked out into the distance. You didn’t feel like you were even on Earth any longer. A cold wind blowing across a wide plain of grass and debris that seemed to have no rhyme or reason.

There wasn’t another soul to be seen. So you just started walking, taking off that damned collar they’d put on you as you did so.

——————————

“I’m just saying, we look for a better chair for me. The one I have now, it’s a bit small.” The largest of the people now milling through the new arrivals in a debris pile spoke up.

“Maybe if you didn’t eat so many Twinkies.” The child with them answered with an eye roll, picking up a torn and dirtied magazine as he considered it.

“Hello, it takes calories to support all this muscle!” The larger man retorted, flexing one of his arms in an exaggerated gesture. “I can’t help it that the rest of you always look like someone could push you over with a feather! And besides, he got a pool!” The man scoffed lastly, motioning to the alligator now clawing into some cans beside them.

The creature opened its mouth with a deep hiss in return.

“Which he says he found on his own, thank you.” The oldest looking of them spoke up then, translating haughtily, before he walked away a bit from the others. He heard them continue to make a few more snide replies to one another afterward, but he was only watching the ground for anything of use to place in his satchel. Of course one ear still always listening for that distant rumble of Alioth as well though as he meandered on.

It wasn’t until he heard that distinct change of tone in the child’s voice, that air of warning which caused him to also look up again.

“Hey! Someone’s coming!” The child called out lowly to the others.

“Not one of that fool’s gang again? I’ll bash their skulls in this time.” The largest man threatened, readying his hammer.

“You say that every time…” The child growled back, “And no, no I think it’s…a woman?”

“A what?” The large one replied incredulously.

That would have been a rarity indeed. At least a woman on her own anyway. Most typically were snatched up by the roaming gangs fairly quickly.

As the older man looked towards where the child had been pointing, he did quickly agree that the individual walking towards them had more the gait of a female. Though naturally there was always a spectrum of such things. There was really no telling, without actually knowing.

“Should we stand our ground?” The older man asked, specifically more to the child, even without taking his eyes off the figure growing ever closer.

“We outnumber whoever it is, so I don’t see why we shouldn’t stay,” The boy answered. “I’m not going to let them steal our supplies…”

But the older looking man just kept staring at the stranger. Something starting to nag in his instincts from deeper within as the figure became more than just a silhouette in the distance.

It was something so foreign, yet so familiar. An ominous swell rising within him as his heart rate began to quicken. That walk…no, it was more than just a woman’s. He knew that stride, that confidence.

Even the uniform, though so damaged, he had seen it before. On one of the very worst days of his life he had had to kneel before that exact bloodied uniform and the lifeless woman then within it.

“Oh my god,” He breathed abruptly, in a tone that surely none of the others had ever heard from him before as he then hurried back down the debris pile, far quicker than he looked as he tried to close the distance to her.

——————————

You’d been walking for so very long. This was truly a wasteland you’d decided. But some things were familiar and others were not. You’d finally seen the shape of damaged buildings in the distance though, and had headed towards them in the hopes of finding any other living soul.

Any living being, and hopefully some sort of answers along with them. You’d been right at least too, as you’d seen the distinctive shapes of people then.

Just three of them, and there was no way to know if they’d be hostile or not. But you had to take the chance, and once you were sure they’d seen you as well there was no point in turning back.

But you had tensed a little when you saw one break away from the others, now almost running towards you. But whatever combat training would have reminded you to be at the ready seemed to pause as your brain hitched at the very distinctive horns on the helmet of the man now bounding towards you.

“(Y/N)!?” He called out in disbelief, yourself only further hesitating at the surprise of hearing your name from the stranger.

As the man reached you, the look on your face must have only been of caution and equal parts confusion as you stared back into his amazed expression.

His excitement seemed to teeter on the verge of pain however as he stared into your eyes and the lack of recognition then within them. “Of course…of course you would not recognize me this way. Even for gods, age does eventually make its mark.” He remarked somberly, albeit also blinking to fight off that wet shine starting to form in his eyes.

“My dear…my goddess, it is I. Look past this weathered face, these clothes that you never would have seen in your time.” He begged. “The eyes, love. Look at my eyes and tell me you do not know me…”

The voice, it was different of course. But something you could not deny was familiar to you. The cadence, the terms…only Loki ever called you his goddess. At least he had before he’d fallen under the influence of the scepter and the Tesseract.

You did stare deeper into those blue eyes though as your mind continued to churn. “You…want me to believe that you are Loki?” You eventually asked aloud as if just trying to buy your own self time as you felt that unease growing which you could not explain. Something about this man made you unable to deny the insanity of his claim outright.

But so many other things had already happened to you today that you never would have believed before either.

“It’s alright,” He assured you regardless of your hesitation. “I just…I’ve never seen a variant of you here, not once. What happened?” But he seemed to regret the question just as quickly. “No…no, that’s too much to ask you right now. Please, please let’s go somewhere safer. I’ll tell you everything. I can explain everything that’s gone wrong. You…you don’t know how I’ve missed you.”

“I…” Regardless of everything else right now, you did feel that he was sincere, that he would not harm you. And you wanted answers. But you hesitated, looking to the child and a larger man still staring at you both in what looked like shock themselves. Was that also some large reptile near their legs? “Who are they?” You asked aloud. Could you trust them either?

“They’ll understand once I explain. Please,” He offered you his hand. “Come with us.”

Even in that simple gesture, it sent a chill through you. The elegant way his fingers curved just slightly, a movement you’d seen so many times before. Loki pulling you into his grasp to dance, wanting you to take his hand as you walked the royal paths and gardens of Asgard…how could this man know to mimic even those smallest traits?

And why did you not resist? Your hand grasped warmly into his own as you let yourself be led away.

———————————

You sat oddly inside what had evidently once been a bowling alley. A glass of wine that’d been poured from a box now in your hand as an alligator lingered at your feet still looking at you quite curiously.

But you needed far stronger alcohol than this as you effectively tried to summarize the lengthy explanations you’d already been subjected to. “So you’re saying…there is no such thing as freewill. That any time we deviate from our previously destined fate, we’re immediately erased to this purgatory to die?”

The others just nodded, before you only continued. “And that my…my deviation, or my nexus event as you called it was that I was supposed to be killed at Stark Tower that day?” It still felt disturbing to even say something so morbid out loud, but the moment the TVA had tried to take you was just before you would have reached Loki.

If you were never supposed to reach him, only death could have stopped you. You knew that deep down.

The older Loki only answered you softly. “In my timeline, dear, it hadn’t been just an empty hole in the stairwell for you to cross. The Chitauri swarmed in through it like locusts. Even you couldn’t fight them all off then.” He looked down again, thoughts seeming to drift off again to tragic memories only he knew.

“I was the one that found you…” He continued despite himself. “But for you to be here now means that I had to be defeated by the Avengers…I had to stay on that dark path to serve my purpose to the ‘sacred timeline’. And mourning you, knowing my actions led to you losing your life while you’d only been trying to save me…there was no real coming back for me after that. Though Thor did try…”

You glanced to the other Lokis. They had already said that they did not know you. You thought perhaps they had been pruned too soon before you or a version of you at least could come into their own lives. Or maybe you hadn’t existed in those timelines at all? But regardless, they all seemed to be experiencing some sort of vicarious emotion from the older Loki now as no one looked anything but somber.

Yet really, for now only one more question lingered painfully in your mind as you finally had to ask. “But if I had reached you…if I’d gotten to that rooftop in New York, and begged you…would you have given up your conquest even for me, Loki? Would my sacrifice have even mattered?”

You felt you had a right to know. You had thrown your life away for that intention either way. Clearly, if you survived the battle of New York, you were only then thrown to the void by the TVA to die. And if you didn’t survive New York, then you were just more immediately dead.

But the cruelty in your question may have been too much at last as you saw his hurt blue eyes meet your gaze again.

Yet he had nothing left to hide it seemed, answering anyway even through the clear struggle of emotion.

“I…I think I would have listened to you at least. I mean, you would have had to change something by facing me on that rooftop. They wouldn’t have deemed you a variant otherwise, my dear. But…I must shamefully admit, knowing who I was then, I may have only tried to force you to join me. Rather than give up my perceived kingdom…I would have wanted you to rule it at my side.”

“What?” The more boastful Loki you had deemed him, interjected. “Like get married? Take a queen? Lokis don’t get married my friend. And Lokis do not share power.”

“Spoken like a man never in love.” The older Loki just countered with a sad smirk. “Lokis can lie as long as they want. We do not want to die alone either. We’ve all always wished for a true companion. I just got closer than most of us.”

You tried to wipe at your own eyes without the others noticing. So very rarely had you ever heard Loki use that word love directly to you. But if this really was just the man your own Loki would one day be, if this is how your Loki had felt, you could only continue to wish that it had been true. That he had sincerely loved you somewhere deep down, even after everything he’d done.

But regardless, you’d never see him again now. If there was really no way out of here, if time stood still in this place, it was hell in the almost literal sense of the word. An eternity of suffering, special made for all of you.

As you tried to force those terrible thoughts back away though, the tears begging to escape, you felt a rough nudge to your ankle.

Looking down, the alligator Loki just rested his snout on the top of your foot, looking up at you with if you weren’t already at the edge of sanity you might have tried to convince yourself was not a look of sympathy now coming from a reptile.

You mouthed the words ‘thank you’ to him regardless though, hearing only a satisfied type of growl as he closed his eyes, seemingly content to enjoy a nap against your boots.

——————————

As could be expected there was no sense of time in the void. No real days or nights. But the boys had accommodated you as best they could you thought. Making a separate area for you to have a little privacy even within their Loki den.

It was the older, or as he jokingly preferred, the classic Loki that you were closest to of course. He was the most like the Loki you remembered. The one you still had silent hopes to one day see again.

You acted as a comfort for one another, with long conversations and sharing old memories none of the others could understand. You knew to him you were family he’d never thought he’d get to see again. And you were happy to help him relieve some of that ancient guilt as you assured him time and again that you did not blame him for your death in his timeline. You had made your own choices. The consequences were just what they were at this point.

But there was one odd thing you had picked up on after a while. He didn’t like you to leave the den at all. It was almost a fatherly kind of protection by now really. But you still had to push back on that. As Alioth or not, you had to have some fresh air here and there.

And you wanted to be useful, to help find resources with the others as well as do your part to protect them.

Eventually though, you did finally realize what it was he was really so concerned about. Not Alioth, or the gangs really. Or at least not a gang on its own, but rather its leader.

Even classic Loki could withhold truths from you it seemed, as you’d eventually been out looking for food or more drinks one ‘day’ you’d still call it at least even if time never truly passed here. Kid Loki and his Hi-C’s were something else as fast as the boy could go through those things whenever you could find them.

But boastful Loki had been your only partner on that particular hunting trip. And you’d been far enough out of each other’s sight when you’d heard a distinct whistle.

You froze immediately, those few special memories springing to mind at the long lost sound. That was the ‘hey, I don’t want to call for you all the way across the palace courtyard, but come meet me in my bedroom now’ whistle as your heart leapt into your throat.

Classic Loki wouldn’t do that even if he remembered it, you also knew that instantaneously. He’d never been anything but a gentleman to you since your arrival. So you didn’t know what else to expect as you’d somewhat fearfully turned around.

“Hello, love.” Loki almost purred, in that deeper voice you’d usually only heard when he was either very aroused or very angry.

But of all the Lokis you’d seen to this point, this was the first one that had the same face as your own Loki that you’d been stolen away from. Though the clothing was very different. A suit and smaller horns as he walked closer with his hands in his pockets, and an odd political button on his chest.

“I’d heard the lesser Lokis had adopted a woman into their group. But imagine my disbelief, trying to reason it must only be yet another boring version of ourselves. And then, a little spy tells me it’s not a female Loki at all. But a woman at least one of us had once wanted to call their queen….color me quite interested then.”

You straightened, cautious, yet unable to stop listening, to stop looking into his eyes as you’d wanted to see him again for so very long. But was he really like your Loki? All the Lokis were different, even classic Loki had lived so many centuries without you that he’d grown and changed from the exact one you remembered.

The way this Loki leered at you though, it invoked more the Loki who had obsessed most over the Tesseract. The one that had killed Agent Coulson right in front of the rest of you.

“Loki….” You answered, partly surprised still, but partly in warning as he neared ever closer to you.

But he wore your lover’s face. It was wholly unfair as he only smiled in pleasure as his name left your mouth.

“You know, in my timeline we did become lovers as well. But I didn’t let you join the Avengers…not until you promised to betray them for me at least.”

You stared, clearly disbelieving. “And how did that work out for us?”

He just chuckled, a dark sound. “Oh, just with you dead in Stark Tower yet again. You tried to double cross me.” He was now standing directly in front of you. “Love, I can only imagine how many times you’ve died on Tony Stark’s property by now.”

“Did you kill me?” You breathed, really starting to consider calling out for boastful Loki, not that he could possibly get to you to help in time.

This new Loki’s eyebrows raised, but he only looked your body over, not even trying to hide his want. “You really think I would ever plunge a dagger between those lovely breasts? Now, maybe something of mine between your legs of course…but only when you begged me for it, as you did quite often.”

“Oh? So it was just sex in your timeline?” You asked bluntly, the question legitimate, even if you might still be talking just for the sake of it, trying not to fall prey to him as you took a quick step back. But deep down that implication could still hurt if you let it, even though classic Loki had assured you you’d truly been loved in his universe. Maybe every timeline really was so different, that for other Lokis you’d just been someone else to bed.

What were you then to your own Loki? But you only glared then as this Loki laughed at you abruptly.

“And what would that matter if I only wanted physical pleasure? I don’t remember you being so sensitive. In your timeline, dear, did we only whisper sweet nothings and coddle one another late into the night then? Sounds awful…tell me, why in Hel would I want a kitten when I could have a lioness?”

That was it. His mocking tone was only growing and you weren’t going to be tormented like that, no matter whose face he had. You turned your back to him to decidedly walk away.

He was not your Loki.

But you can’t say you were surprised either when he immediately resisted your attempt to leave. All Lokis had to have the last word after all.

What did surprise you though was that instead of him spitting any additional venomous or insulting words to you in response, you just felt his hand grab your wrist roughly before he spun you back around and slammed his lips against yours.

You tried to push him back in reflex, but he only caught you around the waist, holding you almost painfully tight as his tongue then forced its way into your mouth.

It was somewhat frightening, yourself not used to the force. But albeit him tasting just the same as you always remembered him. It was so confusing, both knowing that this was but wasn’t right. He was a Loki, but not the one you’d let explore your body so many times before. In reality, you were being kissed by a total stranger.

There was a true cruelty to that as well that no one should ever have to experience, the familiarity enough to make you want to believe your loved one had been returned to you. Yet the heart knowing it was just wrong enough, and not your loved one at all.

To your further shock though, it was him that actually broke the kiss first. And as you stared at him, trying to understand, that is when you finally saw something more than arrogance or coldness in his eyes. You saw that trace of sadness all the Lokis had before he was able to conceal it again behind his own glare.

“You aren’t her.” He said so plainly, but with the air of someone who had just lost something very important all over again.

“No,” You said quietly, regret starting to tinge your own voice as you finally understood. He was looking for the same thing you were. He wanted someone he could no longer have.

You heard an annoyed sigh escape him, even as he didn’t let go of you. He sneered a little afterward, irritation evident as he just began talking again. “You know, in my timeline you did actually make it to that rooftop. But I’d gone after the other Avengers already. And I’d stopped Romanoff from getting the scepter, so there was nothing the idiots could close the portal with. I was on the verge of winning!”

He had your wrist still, his cold hand squeezing it harshly as he looked into your eyes while the anger of the memory grew. “But the humans were going to vaporize the entire city with one of their bombs rather than lose to me. So you decided you had to save us all.”

There was clear accusation in his tone, but you just kept silent as he confessed this to you.

“Ihated you for it too. I couldn’t understand why you would sacrifice yourself for those insects. If I’d known your plan for even an instant, I’d have taken you and fled that place. I’d have done anything, not to have just been left with that scene that day. You took the Tesseract with your own hands. You pulled it from the machine and broke the doorway. But it was active then, an infinity stone at near full power. No one there could have handled it bare handed as you did and not have paid the price!”

You stared at him. This was not the anger of a man that had lost just another toy from out of his bed. You did have meaning to him after all if your departure had torn this big of a hole through him.

But could he really not understand your motivations then? Why were they all so stubborn!?

“You really think I would have killed myself if it wasn’t to save you too, Loki!?” You shot back, even the fear of Alioth not enough to quiet your rising voice now. “I wanted you back! Everything I did, you were my goal! Everyone else was only second. Everything else was always second. I wasn’t any less selfish!”

It was the truth. It was all only the truth. Maybe you’d only gotten what you’d deserved after all. Maybe you did deserve to be here, a punishment fit for two.

But he was just staring at you now. And you couldn’t handle that either before you were the one to kiss him this time.

It was still wrong, but he didn’t fight it as he closed his eyes. This time letting you lead just enough to give the action more than just that sense of forcefulness and lust. You tried to kiss him how you would have kissed your own Loki had he been standing before you right now. Desire yes, but affection as well, that special emotion reserved for the most important person that had ever filled your heart.

And when you finally did pull away again, it was clear he hadn’t wanted you to stop as he opened his eyes once more. Regretfully he frowned, his voice the quietest it had been yet. “And is that how you and he used to do it?”

“Yes,” You answered. Only surprised again when he suddenly let you go.

“I may not be your Loki, and you not my…well, you.” He spoke, albeit backing away now. He hid it well, but something still seemed shaken in his confidence that he’d come here with. “But come find me again, love, whenever you tire of being treated like a ‘lady’ by that old man and his vagabonds. Come to me whenever you’re ready for some real physical comfort from a true Loki. That’s the best I can offer you.”

Your eyebrows lowered, the deja vu so strong somehow as he walked away. In the beginning of your relationship years ago, Loki had wasted so much time trying to prove to himself that he didn’t really need you. Just because he was so afraid of the implications and the potential consequences deep down. And it was like going back to the very beginning in that moment.

But you couldn’t say what would happen now. You could only try to keep surviving. Maybe he deserved to be alone, but maybe he didn’t. What was really right or wrong when time no longer even existed for any of you? “If Alioth doesn’t kill me first…eternity sure is a long time. So never say never I guess. Right, Mr. President?” You taunted a little back in reference to his attire, just loud enough that you were sure he’d still hear you.

To his credit, he didn’t even pause in his stride either. Himself not looking back, refusing to give you that. But you heard that sardonic tone drift back none the less. “Now that does sound a bit more like her…I’ll be waiting to see if there’s any more in there somewhere. Maybe you’ll surprise me one day.”

Once he was finally gone though, you stood there in a little residual frustration for just a few more moments before you finally began walking in the opposite direction yourself.

By the time you’d rounded a few more hills of debris, back to where you’d last seen boastful Loki, you were actually a little surprised to see him still standing there.

He hadn’t collected a single piece of anything you saw, and the momentary bit of shock on his own face to see you already back told you all the rest of the story that you needed to know.

So here was President Loki’s ‘little spy’.

“Please tell me you were at least going to trade me to him for more than just a bigger chair.” You grumbled, not quite sure yet how much of a scene you wanted to make about this.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He tried, just straightening up into reflexive lies.

“Don’t.” You waved a hand. “I know all of you too well. I just want to know I’m worth more than a damn chair in this place. Can you at least answer the question?”

You saw him hesitate, no doubt that endless fountain of creative deceptions spinning full tilt as he tried to decide on which route to take.

“Loki,” You just sighed at him at last though, too many emotions in the last few moments to stay angry for very long. “He didn’t hurt me. You didn’t hurt me. So it’s not worth telling all the others. Whatever plot you have going on, they wouldn’t be surprised anyway. And if you just want to pretend that I’m an idiot, then go ahead. But let’s at least get some things to bring back to look like we did something out here.”

While he stared at you, you just grumpily followed through on your word, starting to collect anything that looked useful and placing it in your bag as if he wasn’t even there.

“I know you aren’t an idiot.” His voice finally spoke after a few more moments though making you glance back over.

He looked as annoyed as you however, just continuing. “He acts so tough doesn’t he? Like all of us I guess. But I really didn’t think he’d let you go after all his talk. What a pretender.”

You raised an eyebrow, yet answering all the while going back to sifting through the trash. “Well, I think he just realized I wasn’t actually the same person as who he lost.”

“No, I suppose you wouldn’t be.” Boastful Loki admitted, yet with a little weight to his tone that was a bit unusual for him.

When you felt his eyes still on you, you spoke again. “What? Look, the sooner we can get some supplies, the sooner we can go back. Are you going to help or not?”

His chuckle surprised you a little before he did finally start looking through the debris as well. “You know, if you can keep this failed trade to yourself, I think I’m safe to tell you one more thing.”

“I’m listening.” You responded, albeit only thinking he was going to tell you about some other predictable betrayal he’d been thinking of.

“I lied when I said I did not know you.” He admitted.

That was a little more interesting, but you chose not to show it, just saying, “Oh?” If he wanted to talk about it much further, he would. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t. You weren’t much in the mood to hear about yet another tragic way you’d died at Stark Tower today.

“Well, sort of. I mean, your name was (male version of Y/N) there.”

Okay, that was a new one. You were a man in his timeline? You couldn’t help but make eye contact with him again then. “Then how do you know it was actually me?”

“I was skeptical at first. Obvious differences in appearance of course,” He agreed. “But…the more you talk, the more you remind me of him. The things you say, the way you say them.” He smiled a wistful kind of smile then that instantly reminded you of classic Loki, as if he were reliving some old pleasant memories.

It was odd, as boastful Loki had never yet offered such a personal confession to you. But you couldn’t help but smile too, sensing the evident fondness he must have had for that person. “Was he handsome?” You questioned almost a little playfully.

“Oh, what, you fishing for compliments now?” He retorted tauntingly, but answered quite decidedly. “Of course he was! I mean, to me he was obviously. A warrior too.”

“Of course.” You answered.

“But it was more.” Loki continued sincerely, “He didn’t mind my bragging you know? He listened. He even enjoyed it I think. He didn’t judge me…”

You smirked a little, knowing that particular role all too well. Maybe some things never really did change. A few constants through all the timelines that even the TVA couldn’t stop. “It’s called love. You guys just take too long to label it.”

He hesitated, that sad look coming over him for just another moment. “I do miss him.”

You didn’t have to respond then for him to know how much you understood. You all missed your other halves…deeply.

But perhaps a real hero would emerge one day and do away with the TVA at last. Someone who could free the timelines and the multiverse for every single one of you to exist together again in your own branches just as you always should have.

Maybe one day.

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(End. Thank you for reading!)